Child allowance

11 Nov 2004

Quote by rudolf_uk
Moving onto benefits i believe it is vital that the government contributes a child benefit though i disagree with it being paid in cash. To ensure it is being used for its intended purpose it should bre provided in food and clothing vouchers
I also believe that people who claim unemployment benefit should be made to do any job after say a 6mth period of looking for themselves. Made be put something back into society such as cleaning the streets or as lollipop people. something constructive. this will then wean out the people who have no intention of finding employment.
hugs
Rudolf

Have to say i wholeheartedly agree with these views, food and clothing vouchers is a great idea with the stipulation that the booze, cigarette and lottery sections are excluded from the vouchers

11 Nov 2004

Quote by McGuinness

Are they just as please with their new alcoholic step-dad :

Being truthful its probably one of the less appealing aspects of me to them.
But bollocks to their opinion i'm not going out with them
Personally i would like to think the positives i bring to their lives far outweigh the negatives
Bet your partner agrees with the sentiment "bollocks to their opinion".......
My wife has a boy from her previous marriiage who has not seen his father for 6+ years and certainly hasn't received any form of payment for his upkeep....
He lounges around on the dole and sponges of society and think the world owes him a living..
I have raised that boy as my own and think of him no differnely as I do my daughter who is biologicaly mine...
We both work and pay our dues to the state and we receive child allowance....
So what !!!!!!!!!!!!!!...........Its what the state dictates we are entitled to !!!!!!!!!
As already stated earlier in this thread.....The children of today will be the ones who will supporting the nation and going to war and everything else that needs doing in 20 years time...
The state says we are entitled to it and we are not embarassed or ashamed to receive it...
I do agree with the sentiment that some people think of it as a bit of extra income and so shell out babies as quick as rabbits......And this should be addressed.....But for the "average" family such as ourselves with 2 kids,a semi detatched house and a couple of cars then I see no problem with the payment of child allowance....
If everybody has the same frame of mind as you and didnt have kids then what would happen when we all died???.........Who would be around to run the country then???

11 Nov 2004

I said earlier in the post means tested i have no problems with. this weekend a few newspapers ran a story on a woman that saw breeding as a job. The results of her "job" a free 6 bedroom house and Â£30k a year in benefits. Im so glad i'm supporting her!! My mother did get child allowance, did she need it or deserve it, no. But she collected it because she could. How many other people whom don't need it collect it? As stated before people on mega incomes can claim this benefit, ok i can't see the likes of Madonna popping down the post office to get their benefit but the stupidity of the system wouldn't prevent it. By the way this is currently being debated on talksport 1053/1089am.

11 Nov 2004

We dont need to go to the post office for it anymore...
It's paid direcdtly into our bank account
biggrin

Saves us getting up off the sofa to go fetch it and with the advent of internet shopping we can order our beer and fags online and thats even better
wink

:wink: :wink:

11 Nov 2004

Quote by McGuinness
this weekend a few newspapers ran a story on a woman that saw breeding as a job. The results of her "job" a free 6 bedroom house and Â£30k a year in benefits.

And you believe everything that's in the papers....... :shock:

11 Nov 2004

Quote by northwest-cpl
this weekend a few newspapers ran a story on a woman that saw breeding as a job. The results of her "job" a free 6 bedroom house and Â£30k a year in benefits.

And you believe everything that's in the papers....... :shock:
Even if it is true it will be one of a very small number of instances.
This sort or reporting just works people up and foments dissatisfaction with a system that, in general, works for the benefit of people who deserve assistance, who are in their current situation through no fault of their own.
SA
XXX

11 Nov 2004

well when I was on benefite my child benefit was 16/week.. and then would have been Â£10 for each child after that.. so to get a decent income I would have had to produce about 10 kids!!! :shock: No amount of money would be worth that stress.

11 Nov 2004

Quote by MQ
Maybe some of us could afford the children when we had them but their fuckwitted fathers then decided that someone else was nicer than their mum and fucked off and left them

Now if that were stated the other way arround "a fuckwitted mother who fucked off" then there would be uproar over such a statement.
My lads mother left me for another, we had just grown apart and we personally no longer got on... BUT she will always be his mother and I would never, and have never, slagged her off to others or to our son. Infact I have stood up for her many times when people have called her a "poor/bad mum" for leaving her son...
The reality is that unlike SOME mothers (and fathers) who take the kids out of spite and as a hold over the ex, she decided that him living with me was far better for him in that finantially and emotionally he was better off living with me and seeing her.
She could have forced us both into abject povity status, me through the courts taking maintenance for both her (spousal) and laddo (clild) and poverty for herself due to the fact that the money taken would not have been enough to have truely run a household, but enough to have stopped any form of benifits.
I have two other children by a different mum who I rarely speak off, infact when asked I say I olny have one child as the pain of being seperated and loosing contact is very hard to bear and at this moment in time I have grieved the loss of them and I find its easier to feel that they are dead, because in a way they are dead to me. I spent over 10,000 getting a paultry 2 days a fortnight access to them and managed to keep contact going for about 2 years despite her trying to ailinate them against me...
When she left, she said (and I quote) "they are my fucking kids not yours and you can fuck off if you want to see them, they belong to me and by the time you've been through the courts you'll end up with fuck all time so dont fucking bother" I was even attacked by her, now ex, BF one day when I dropped off the kids... I've since seen him in the pub reciently and he came up to me and appologised and thought I was scum at the time (no doubt due to what ever she was telling him)... thing is everyone I subsiquently came to know that also knows him always said they couldnt believe he'd attacked me as they knew him as a very personable, kind, and helpfull bloke!
She finally managed to get them to hate me as much as she does when I met and fell inlove with another woman, it gave her another way to get them to hate me "see your fucking fathers got a GF, he wont want to see you now because he loves someone else and loves them more than he loves you..." Not only was this hatred aimed at me, but also at laddo (her step son) who is still, after 5 years, suffering emotional problems due to her treatment of him.
My other two kids only live about 15 mins walk from me, hoepfully (but i'm not counting on it, infact I cant ever see it hapening) when they are old enough to be out on their own or are adults then they will come and see me and we can try to become friends and possibly gain some form of dad/kids relationship again.
I think I have physically seen them 3 times in the last 2-3 years in the street while out shopping, they have looked at me as though I was the scum of the earth with such hatred in their eyes and they have all promptly turned arround and quickly walked away.
My youngest lad is going blind with a degenerative eye condition, as to when or how long it will take is anyones guess but anywhere in the next 3-30 years. It cannot be fixed as its a nerve/connection problem... I didnt even find out about that untill near one of the last visits when he came wearing glasses and told me he couldnt be a fireman or a pilot as he wouldnt be able to see well enough when he was older (he was 7 at the time)
anyways enough from me as i'm getting to emotional and tis a bit hard to type at the min.
(I was just about to post this, then thought I should add that this next bit is not directed at the original poster, its a general type use of the word "you" and refers to anyone in the same situation)
I just want to end this with, no matter how much an ex is or was a tosser... your kids will know you feel this by attitude and even overhearing while you're slagging them off to your mates, so your kids will end up hating their other parent eventually.. and when grown up will probably do the same to their kids or will go through relationship after relationship and fuck it up all the time... the damage will be done so when your son or daughter comes to you later in life and you simpathise with them over thier bastad ex who has taken the kids or walked out and doesnt see them... just think back that perhaps you are the reason why!

11 Nov 2004

mellow, fantastic post, I agree with every word!
cu3b4ll, I wouldn't dream of tarring every man with the same brush, there are lots of decent fathers out there who do their best for their kids despite they and their childrens mothers not being together. The bad ones give you all a bad name and it is unfair. I can only comment from my own experience in the end which is not a good one but everyone is different and I wouldn't say that all men would do what my ex did.

11 Nov 2004

Children shoould never be allowed. Period. :huh:
Sorry, I have two at home today, and they are getting between me and my wank evil

On another note, can I get away with a blue sheet for a greek costume?
Venusxxx

11 Nov 2004

Quote by foxylady 123
However the one consistant thread that seems to run throughout these postings, is its uaual a man at fault!! One of the reasons that CB is now paid to all families regardless of income is that when it was means tested the more affluent men were often found to be pocketing the money istead of passing it on to their childrev/ partners.
Men, fuck off without any thought to the children they have fathered, and maen then evade their responsabilities. Om not saying women never do the same but its much rarer

Dont forget that not that long ago, men had total exclusive rights to their children if the seperated... they were in law the property of the man. Now they have become the automatic property of the woman...
if you constantly tell a man that no matter what or how a seperation ocurs and that (as shown in a legal land mark case in the high courts) that even if the father is the stay at home parent and the mother works; then at the point of seperation he has no automatic rights of access, is not going to be the one that the courst decide should be the main carer and will at best unless the woman allow it will only get to see his kids for 2 days a fortnight....then is it any supprise that access fails in the majority of situations within 2 years, that fathers do walk out and not bother to see the kids
heck even their solicitor will tell them there is no way they can win a custody case unless the mother is proven to be totaly unsutable as the main carer... and even then the courts are more likely to give the mother the kids and then direct social services to give help and support for the next 17-18 years and if the mother doesnt want the kids to keep contact with the father then they can expect to be in and out of the courts for all that time and the courts will not enforce any access orders or place punitave measures on the mum no matter how many times she defies the court orders.
Fathers have even had access removed entirly and contact banning orders imposed and orders making it impossible to apply to the court again when mothers have said that all the court orders because they are flounting contact is stressing them and is not good for the kids.
the high court judge (or might even have been lord woolf) to a city broker whos husband had brought up their child for years when she said she would give up work... the judge said that children should be with their mothers due to the maternal bond involved... so what about the bond of a father? what about all the other court cases that say the kids stay with mum becuase she was the primary care giver and spent more time with the kids while the husband worked to provide for the family? The guy was denighed the right to appeal against the deesion and I think its currently (or was going) in the EU system as a HR case.

11 Nov 2004

Quote by McGuinness
I said earlier in the post means tested i have no problems with. By the way this is currently being debated on talksport 1053/1089am.

Didn't the government try to introduce means testing for child benefit many many years ago, and were prevented because the cost of running the system would be more than it would save in payments?
Mind you - with so many other benefits being means tested, it may well be a different story if it was looked at again.
Coupons and stuff - personally, we have often used the family allowance in the past to help the kids buy the things that they want. It is their money, not ours. The things they bought would have been things we bought them anyway, but doing it this way did give them some feeling of independance and teach them the value of money.
Families splitting so often seems to generate heart rending stories. A friend of mine raised a boy as his son until he was 14, then his wife left him and announced that as he was not the natural father (which was news to him) he had no parental rights at all.
This may or may not have been the case - but he was so gutted he just didn't have it in him to fight the case. Now, it is too late.
Kat

11 Nov 2004

Quote by Libra-Love
:
As for the numbers on the free health service, well as a parent to a 5 year old heart patient I'd like to say, thank you for your contribution.
.

I couldn't agree woth you more, I'm in the same situation.
I really don't think you could be serious in some of the things you said. having children is a god given right to us, and to choose not to have any is your individual right as it is have children.
I do have to say I personaly would rather have a few children than lots, purely because of devoting time and energy and possibly money to them as well. Although I have 2 kids I wanted 3 but am unable to have anymore. The 2 that I have are the most wonderful things in the world even though 1 has special needs he has made me into a better person, more careing understanding, as he is himself. But then maybe that was my destiny and why I was given him and not you.
Yes maybe some families can be a burden to the tax payer. But then maybe they wouln't be if the Lords and the MP's didn't give themselves such massive pay rises. The level of income for single parent's is only just over the minimum do you really think they are happy to have to live this way? don't you think they want a better life?.
I know not everyone shares the same views and beliefs, but then at the end of the day isn't that what makes us human and different?

11 Nov 2004

Quote by steve-shireen
We dont need to go to the post office for it anymore...
It's paid direcdtly into our bank account

Saves us getting up off the sofa to go fetch it and with the advent of internet shopping we can order our beer and fags online and thats even better
:wink: :wink:

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

11 Nov 2004

Quote by MQ
Maybe some of us could afford the children when we had them but their fuckwitted fathers then decided that someone else was nicer than their mum and fucked off and left them

well i just cant understand anyone leaving a person with a pair like those!! but the language is justified

11 Nov 2004

PiercedJon, what a harrowing story - you have all my sympathies.
Mike.

11 Nov 2004

Quote by roger743
Like i stated i am pay as you go on a day to day basis, if i was not productive one day i would not be asked back the next. So far each day i am asked back

That merely means your productivity is satisfactory, not optimal.
Not all employer's realise that their employee is an alcoholic... My Ex is a prime example of this...
He worked all over the country, had a company van and used to drive from Wolverhampton to Rugeley every day to pick up another 2 work collegues then proceed to their destination... 9 years ago he was working in Preston and was on his return journey. He dropped off his 2 collegues and was then stopped in Cannock by a patrol car as he was nodding off at the wheel. When they breathalised him he was FIVE times over the limit.... He had worked, driven and communicated adequately during that day...
My son and I had to flee from our home when he eventually became violent and the courts ordered him to leave. Now I will at this point state that I had told him I didn't want any more kids (I had one already) but he begged and pleaded with me to have one (At that point in time I had no idea he was an alcoholic as he hid it very well) and I relented. I contacted the CSA and when they means tested him it came back that I had been awarded Â£97 per week (Yep thats right he was earning that much)... So how much has my son seen of this money??..... NONE!!.... I kept chasing the CSA to collect the money and at my insistance they did an "Attachment of Earnings".... Yep you guessed it... He gave up work and went to live with his elderly mother who he now still sponges off...
The thing is with the CSA, chasing them constantly to take action is all well and good BUT..... If the lazy :censored: isn't working then it doesn't matter what the CSA do there will be no money forthcoming...
I agree all benefits should be means tested, but I also think that they should be monitored to make sure that people are not making a living from it....
Shireen

3 Jun 2007

I have some good news that i want to share.
I remembered this thread cos of the guy who berated me for allegedly spending more time on this site than ensuring the CSA were doing their job. rolleyes

It's taken 6 years, countless applications, phonecalls and emails, numerous very heated arguments and a lot of heart-break due to financial difficulties but at long last the CSA have finally billed my daughter's father for all the mainenance he's refused to pay.
The full amount of arrears currently stands at approximately £14,000 !
I'm ecstatic. Not because of the amount - it's wrong anyway - more like 10k and I'll only see about 3 of that in drips and drabs over the next 4 years - but it's the principle.
I wish I'd been there to see the smug bastard's face drop. He's done fuck all to maintain his child (buying expensive toys and gadgets really doesn't cut it!) and he sooo loved sneering at me and telling me how much he earns. I'm just glad to see him finally get his comeuppance. I hope he's shitting bricks.
Thankyou.

4 Jun 2007

Excellent news Marya! biggrin