Clarification needed - Munches - Should we pay!

16 Feb 2005

I'm just about at the end of my tether with this 'bash-a Mod' attitude. NO-ONE gets privileges cos they 'shag a Mod' and if you actually KNOW otherwise then feel free to PM me and I shall do some digging around. It's really unfair otherwise and I deeply resent your flippancy in this matter.
The whole issue of what is and what isn't a Munch, what should and shouldn't be stickied and what is a kick in the teeth IS being debated by the Mods and we are reaching a decision. When we are there you'll know by the puff of white smoke coming out of the collective chimney.
mad

16 Feb 2005

Right you've all been very naughty.......anymore of this and their be no more munches and your be in bed early smackbottom

16 Feb 2005

Quote by da69ve
Right you've all been very naughty.......anymore of this and their be no more munches and your be in bed early

Helpful, eh??
:shock:

16 Feb 2005

Apology accepted Marya. We work hard at trying to be impartial and a few of my friends on here have found THEY can be bollocked the same as people I don't know, when they are in the wrong. regarding the situation on Munches. We will be clarifying exactly what can and can't be done regarding Munches organised on here. This is just SH Munches, not munches organised elsewhere and it will also clarify the difference between a party and a Munch. We haven't done it yet, as there are many different factors to be taken into consideration and we don't want to have to keep amending it, so bear with us on that.
Mal
wink

16 Feb 2005

Quote by Jags

Do you have your own chat forum Mal, for the mods?
Only being nosy

Mark's issued us with baked bean tins and MILES of string!! Works well except when it's raining cos then the string goes soggy and doesn't transmit as well as it should.
:P
Perhaps you should remove the baked beans first, Jags rolleyes

Mike.

16 Feb 2005

Quote by MikeNorth

Do you have your own chat forum Mal, for the mods?
Only being nosy

Mark's issued us with baked bean tins and MILES of string!! Works well except when it's raining cos then the string goes soggy and doesn't transmit as well as it should.
:P
Perhaps you should remove the baked beans first, Jags rolleyes

Mike.
So thats why I keep going deaf :roll:
Someone should have told me to removed the beans first mad

16 Feb 2005

Quote by Dawn_Mids

Do you have your own chat forum Mal, for the mods?
Only being nosy

Mark's issued us with baked bean tins and MILES of string!! Works well except when it's raining cos then the string goes soggy and doesn't transmit as well as it should.
:P
Perhaps you should remove the baked beans first, Jags rolleyes

Mike.
So thats why I keep going deaf :roll:
Someone should have told me to removed the beans first mad

Removing the baked beans information was in your 'Welcome to SH Moderator's World' pack. That means you haven't read it yet!!
:shock: :shock:

16 Feb 2005

Has the whole concept of the Munch has just had it's day?
The first munch was born because almost NOBODY on the site had ever met face to face. There was no ethos of 'social only' meets at all.
Things on the site have changed now. - meeting other swingers socially is now an accepted practice.
Why spend time and effort on providing structure and guidance on something, when that structure and guidance will be resented and picked at on a regular basis.
lhk
Kat

16 Feb 2005

Quote by KitKat
Has the whole concept of the Munch has just had it's day?
The first munch was born because almost NOBODY on the site had ever met face to face. There was no ethos of 'social only' meets at all.
Things on the site have changed now. - meeting other swingers socially is now an accepted practice.
Why spend time and effort on providing structure and guidance on something, when that structure and guidance will be resented and picked at on a regular basis.
lhk
Kat

Thank you for being so eloquent once again Kat. I've been trying all bloody afternoon to word that post biggrin

Jas
XXX

16 Feb 2005

I have only one thing to add..... feel free to PM if you think shagging a mod will get you special favours :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
wink

:wink: :wink:

16 Feb 2005

I'm surprised, I thought munches were going from strength to stength!
Maybe KitKat's post deserves to have a thread to itself? - it's an interesting question, and I don't think it deserves to be buried on page 6 of a thread that a lot of people ill have given up reading!

16 Feb 2005

Quote by bluexxx
I have only one thing to add..... feel free to PM if you think shagging a mod will get you special favours :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
:wink: :wink:

And then me next please!!
:happy: :happy:

16 Feb 2005

Right just my twopenneth here.
We decided to pass a bucket round at the munch to collect purely for the doorman and dj's as they offered their services for who attended the munch had that detailed to them in a confirmation pm before the munch took money to the bucket was purely out of choice.
We found ourselves very lucky in being able to organise something that wouldnt have any personal cost to any of the atendee's,other than the snog auction which again was purely out of choice(and not to mention the fact that many were all too willing to put their hands in their pockets!)
At the end of the day these things are there so we can all meet up,shouldnt we all be happy that we can just do that!!!!
Oh and as for shagging mods to get a munch stickied if me or Steve did,can someone remind us coz we cant remember!!!! lol

:lol: :lol:

16 Feb 2005

Quote by KitKat
Has the whole concept of the Munch has just had it's day?
The first munch was born because almost NOBODY on the site had ever met face to face. There was no ethos of 'social only' meets at all.
Things on the site have changed now. - meeting other swingers socially is now an accepted practice.
Why spend time and effort on providing structure and guidance on something, when that structure and guidance will be resented and picked at on a regular basis.
lhk
Kat

I can see that this train of thought has a valid point but also see in many threads , just what a great time everyone seems to have at a munch . Also , we still rergard ourselves as newbies on this site and cant wait to get to our first munch so i assume other newbies , and future new members will be quite excited about going to a munch too . Just because someone questions the ethics of charging Â£3 shouldn`t lead to dropping the idea of organising munches or doing away with them altogether

16 Feb 2005

Quote by Mister_Discreet
I'm surprised, I thought munches were going from strength to stength!
Maybe KitKat's post deserves to have a thread to itself? - it's an interesting question, and I don't think it deserves to be buried on page 6 of a thread that a lot of people ill have given up reading!

:shock: I'm not sure I'd go that far - it is a thought that did not exist until reading this thread and would look pretty silly out of context!
I don't know about munches - but social contact between site members IS going from strength to strength. So much so that the whole 'munch' question is in danger of becoming a barrier to social contact rather than a vehicle for social contact.
If I was a moderator now, I would be seriously asking:
If it is simply said "No parties at all can be advertised within the fora, and the term 'munch' will be disowned by the site'"- Would this stop successful munches being organised?
I doubt it.
lhk
kat

16 Feb 2005

Quote by Marya
Shit, I can't leave this alone. I think I'm turing into Neilinleeds!

:shock: how the fuck did i get dragged into this? dunno

;)
but seeing as how i'm here . . .

Quote by KitKat
Has the whole concept of the Munch has just had it's day?
The first munch was born because almost NOBODY on the site had ever met face to face. There was no ethos of 'social only' meets at all.
Things on the site have changed now. - meeting other swingers socially is now an accepted practice.
Why spend time and effort on providing structure and guidance on something, when that structure and guidance will be resented and picked at on a regular basis.
lhk
Kat

that was one of those ironic, tongue in cheek things weren't it?
i know exactly what you're saying kat, and i've read the post you made afterwards.
IMHO, the fact so many people are now meeting socially, and are now organising their own munches with confidence, and are now actually meeting people in a non social way, is all down to the effort some people made here, going out on a limb to do it. i'm inviting a flame here from certain quarters ((( rolleyes

yawn! ))) but munches have helped make SH what it is for lots of us. not everyone. just lots of us.
i don't care if i have to pay on the door, or stick some change in a bucket, or what. so long as no one is outta pocket for organising, or doesn't line their pockets by organising, i'm happy.
munches here are trusted, premier social events, cos they have the backing of the site, and whatever good name SH has among those of us who use it, and trust it. we've seen that in action before and after the leics, when SH tried to defuse and remedy certain things that shouldn't have happened. ((( steph. not a dig. you know what i mean! kiss

)))
i know full well, the whole row about who does what and how, can actually damage that, unless those who seek to do something on SH, with the backing of SH, accept the terms SH asks of them and that ain't me arse licking. it's just a fact, again IMVHO!
WE, whoever WE are, have had that benefit. would be a sad day if others couldn't cos we can't agree on the technicalities of running a meet in a pub?
neil x x x ;)

16 Feb 2005

Quote by neilinleeds
WE, whoever WE are, have had that benefit. would be a sad day if others couldn't cos we can't agree on the technicalities of running a meet in a pub?
neil x x x ;)

Tend to agree with Neil here. The munches I have been on have helped me to feel a lot more comfortable about agreeing to meet others "socially" only, in a way that I probably wouldn't have if I hadn't been to munches.
They have also helped me to chat to people that I wouldn't otherwise have got chatting to on the site.
And as a newbie I felt comfortable at those munches knowing that they fell within site "rules".
Haven't got a clue if that makes any sense as I am dead tired and about to drag myself to bed - but I, for one (and this is a persoal feeling) woud hate to see the munches go sad

.

16 Feb 2005

Quote by neilinleeds
that was one of those ironic, tongue in cheek things weren't it?

Possibly.

- or it might have been my way of reminding others that SH itself has nothing to do with actually running social meetings, that is all down to individuals. If allowing those meetings to be advertised on the site ends up with the moderators being given a hard time, what is the easiest way to stop it?

Quote by Neiinleedsl
WE, whoever WE are, have had that benefit. would be a sad day if others couldn't cos we can't agree on the technicalities of running a meet in a pub?

Quote by Rainbows
And as a newbie I felt comfortable at those munches knowing that they fell within site "rules".

Not just newbies - Kit and I love getting out and meeting lots of other swingers - but there is no way we would ever go to a club again.
Munches are perfect for us.
lhk
Kat

17 Feb 2005

I haven't posted so far in this thread but something I read quite scared me....
Mal or Jags or another Mod can you reassure us that you're not thinking of totally scrapping Munches? Munches have given me so much confidence and allowed me to meet people in a safe environment without being pressured to play.....

17 Feb 2005

Helen,
we're not looking to scrap Munches, just rethink how they are posted/run. As soon as we have clarified a few points, we'll put them up.
Mal
wink

17 Feb 2005

Quote by DreamerHelen
I haven't posted so far in this thread but something I read quite scared me....
Mal or Jags or another Mod can you reassure us that you're not thinking of totally scrapping Munches? Munches have given me so much confidence and allowed me to meet people in a safe environment without being pressured to play.....

No, of course not Helen!! Kate was just making a good point but it's been rejected. Now relax.
kiss

:kiss:

17 Feb 2005

Phew.....thanks Mal and Jags kiss

17 Feb 2005

Quote by DreamerHelen
Phew.....thanks Mal and Jags

Does that mean I've still got my munch buddy? passionkiss

17 Feb 2005

Quote by rogerthedragon
Phew.....thanks Mal and Jags

Does that mean I've still got my munch buddy? passionkiss

Just you try and stop me..... :twisted:

17 Feb 2005

Quote by Jags
I'm just about at the end of my tether with this 'bash-a Mod' attitude. NO-ONE gets privileges cos they 'shag a Mod' and if you actually KNOW otherwise then feel free to PM me and I shall do some digging around. It's really unfair otherwise and I deeply resent your flippancy in this matter.
The whole issue of what is and what isn't a Munch, what should and shouldn't be stickied and what is a kick in the teeth IS being debated by the Mods and we are reaching a decision. When we are there you'll know by the puff of white smoke coming out of the collective chimney.

I dont want any privileges but would very much like to shag a mod, any offers? wink

Cant see a problem with the money thing, nobody has to go to a munch, nobody has to take the trouble to organise one, i'm just glad they do and would be happy to pay my wack. I certainley cant see why the organisers should be expected to foot the bill, if anything i am suprised that we dont have to pay up front. roll on essex munch2 lol

17 Feb 2005

Quote by DreamerHelen
Phew.....thanks Mal and Jags

Helen, they couldn't stop munches, we'd just organise our own, wouldn't we. I share your relief though.
As I said at Leicester last week, soon life will seem like one long SH munch. lol

:lol:
Mike.

17 Feb 2005

Quote by MikeNorth
Phew.....thanks Mal and Jags

Helen, they couldn't stop munches, we'd just organise our own, wouldn't we. I share your relief though.
As I said at Leicester last week, soon life will seem like one long SH munch. lol

:lol:
Mike. cool

Exactly - Munches - and every other variety of party - will still occur, and be successful, regardless of what can and cannot be posted on the site. Forcing the moderators to impose to tight a control would just make it more difficult to use the site as an aid to organising them.
lhk
Kat

17 Feb 2005

Quote by KitKat
Phew.....thanks Mal and Jags

Helen, they couldn't stop munches, we'd just organise our own, wouldn't we. I share your relief though.
As I said at Leicester last week, soon life will seem like one long SH munch. lol

:lol:
Mike. cool

Exactly - Munches - and every other variety of party - will still occur, and be successful, regardless of what can and cannot be posted on the site. Forcing the moderators to impose to tight a control would just make it more difficult to use the site as an aid to organising them.
lhk
Kat
kat, you know i'm not pulling you up by quoting you again dontcha? ;) again, i understand what you mean kat, and yup, these days, there's no way munches would suddenly stop if the mods washed their hands of them and withdrew what's seen as"official" backing of them. you only have to look at LMU in recent weeks to see that plenty of "ordinary" members are arranging more and more munches, mini-munches, and parties themselves. biggrin

but, i think there's a difference between a stickied, "SH seal of approval" type munch, and other meets, whether they be munches, mini-munches, private parties, club nights, whatever. we all know exactly what to expect from an SH munch, and unless it does what it says on the tin, then it won't be approved as such, and becomes something different. we know an SH-stickied munch will follow certain lines, we know they'll be monitored and policed, we know they'll be safe, we know they'll be open to anyone that uses this site regularly, no matter who or what they are. the same can't be said of other meets where any criteria are left to the discretion of the organisers. they're fundamentally different in character i think?
i'm damn pleased to see how much is going on lately, and how successful the whole idea's been, but again, if someone wants the benefit of help and support from SH to "sell" an event, even if only by stickying it, then it's totally fair of SH to stipulate conditions for that support, and arguing the toss about it and giving mods a hard time about imposing the agreed definitions and terms, is completely pointless. if an organiser thinks those terms are restrictive, then they're perfectly free to do things on their own terms, but then it's their party simple as, and they can hardly then expect to benefit from SH, nor are they in a position to moan about it. you pays your money and make YOUR choice?
either way, what's to argue about? i really don't see a problem here with any of that? seems kinda stupid that mods should find themselves in a position where they feel forced into thrashing out some sort of defintion at all to avoid the criticisms, cos seems like fairly obvious common sense to me?
n x x x ;)

17 Feb 2005

Quote by neilinleeds
but, i think there's a difference between a stickied, "SH seal of approval" type munch, and other meets, whether they be munches, mini-munches, private parties, club nights, whatever. we all know exactly what to expect from an SH munch, and unless it does what it says on the tin, then it won't be approved as such, and becomes something different. we know an SH-stickied munch will follow certain lines, we know they'll be monitored and policed, we know they'll be safe, we know they'll be open to anyone that uses this site regularly, no matter who or what they are. the same can't be said of other meets where any criteria are left to the discretion of the organisers. they're fundamentally different in character i think?

I am not sure I agree with you neil about the fundamental difference between a stickied munch and other events. Admitedly I have only been to 3 munches so far but the three I have been to where all very different in style, content and overall feel as well as some quite fundamental differences in interpretation of the rules. Also the fact that it is a stickied munch does not mean in my opinion that it is any better class of event, and as for the character of an event I think that depends very much on the people who attend and their ideas of a good munch.
I don't really think that having some events stickied and some not really does anyone any favours - it gives people the impression that the stickied events are site organised - they are not they are all organised by individuals, some poeple will be better at it than others, different people will have different ideas of what is the right way to do things. I think provided all rules, costs, etc. are up front it doesn't make that much difference.
I think avoiding giving a "seal of approval" to any of the events would be a good idea to avoid contention, then people would consider attending an event based on their personal opinions of the people organising and attending it. The only time I see the site (ie. Mark and the Mods) needing to get involved is if an event is breaching site AUP by being for personal gain or other reasons.
My two pence as usual.
Roger cool

17 Feb 2005

Quote by rogerthedragon
I don't really think that having some events stickied and some not really does anyone any favours - it gives people the impression that the stickied events are site organised - they are not they are all organised by individuals, some poeple will be better at it than others, different people will have different ideas of what is the right way to do things. I think provided all rules, costs, etc. are up front it doesn't make that much difference.

I do see your point Roger, and I agree, but look at it from the POV of a newbie (which I was not so long ago.
Some newbies are not new to swinging, but some, like myself are. Attending a first munch as a newbie - not only to the site, but to swinging - was a nerve-wracking experience. I put my "trust" in what I had read about munches and what they were about (believe it or not - some newbies do do their reading). I don't feel that I would have attended a "private" get to together without having attended a munch first. With hindsight I have no problem attending social meets that aren't stickied - but at the time of being a newbie - uh uh - no way.
I agree that Mods and the site should not be "called to task" when things go wrong - as they are bound to at times, but i still firmly feel that munches, with SH backing, provide a safe and clearly defined socail meeting ground where newbies can be introduced to the swinging world without "worrying".