Warming the Bed
Hi everyone we are looking for our first experience, should we go to a club or arrange a private meeting with a couple ?
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Club or Private meeting for the first time ?
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I would say a club, then you can watch or just play on your own if you feel a bit shy . The only problem with clubs is that some are a bit cliquey so not always easy to join in with others. It would certainly give you a good insight into our lifestyle.
Good luck. Go enjoy yourselves, but don't rush there's plenty of time.
Good luck. Go enjoy yourselves, but don't rush there's plenty of time.
Warming the Bed
Thanks .. I know this will open the flood gates but can anyone recommend a club for us, as newbie's
Going local -- Is that a good idea ?
We are prepared to travel and would really appreciate anyone's "First time" experiences good or bad
Thank-you
Going local -- Is that a good idea ?
We are prepared to travel and would really appreciate anyone's "First time" experiences good or bad
Thank-you
Sexpert
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/clubs/reviews-3.html
Chameleons - Birmingham
Chameleons - Birmingham
Sexlightened
I would definitely agree with the recommendation to try a club for the first time into this. If you arrange to have a private meeting with a couple there is instantly an expectation (unless it’s just drinks in the local ). Also you are spending time with people you have never met who may possibly have slightly misrepresented themselves on the site (surely not !!) At a club you can just have a look around and do nothing if you decide its not for you. I personally think there is one main distinction between clubs and that is the towels / clothed split. A dressed club can be much like a nightclub with things going on around – at a club which is towels only its very obvious that your not in a normal nightclub. Some people will find that a towel club gets you into the idea in a much hornier atmosphere and will help. Some may feel that a clothed club is a slower introduction and that may suit – its impossible to tell which works best.
Around you there is Vanilla alternative (never been so cant comment) Liberty Elite (which has a good mix actually of clothed/towels areas – and a little further there is Chameleons – (full on towel club).
The other big decision is what night ! – If you want to avoid an excess of single guys then you are usually stuck with a Saturday night – these are usually busy. The quietest way into the scene maybe either a Sunday afternoon – or a weekday evening (stuck with Chams for that one or liberty on a Thursday) . There will be much less going on but it may suit.
The other advantage of checking out a club first is that once you have been and got the layout sussed (not easy in Chams) if you wanted to arrange am meet directly with a couple on here you could then arrange to meet them there !
Anyway just my 2 pennies worth – have fun and enjoy
Alan
Around you there is Vanilla alternative (never been so cant comment) Liberty Elite (which has a good mix actually of clothed/towels areas – and a little further there is Chameleons – (full on towel club).
The other big decision is what night ! – If you want to avoid an excess of single guys then you are usually stuck with a Saturday night – these are usually busy. The quietest way into the scene maybe either a Sunday afternoon – or a weekday evening (stuck with Chams for that one or liberty on a Thursday) . There will be much less going on but it may suit.
The other advantage of checking out a club first is that once you have been and got the layout sussed (not easy in Chams) if you wanted to arrange am meet directly with a couple on here you could then arrange to meet them there !
Anyway just my 2 pennies worth – have fun and enjoy
Alan
Arousals is your closest club and I agree club first then a meet after you have seen what can go on and decided which bits are for you and which are not.
Consider the simple things like kissing, some do some don't always best to think about what suits you before you go to the meeting stage
At a club you can see what goes on without feeling any pressure to do anything.
Cliquey clubs are actually rare though all clubs can appear to be cliquey, this is because a lot of regulars know each other and consequently chat to thier friends, but this does not mean they don't want to chat to anyone else or anyone new to the club, it's just hard for Brits to approach a group of people and join in the chat, I do it but that's me, however I do it subetly not in a crass way and I do find that people are happy to chat to me and add another friend to thier existing ones.
As for going local, it is only a problem if you are seen entering the club by someone that knows you and they are not in the scene, as most clubs have discreet entrances this is not usually a problem, meeting people you know inside the club is not a problem either because they are doing the same as you and not likely to run around telling everyone "I saw wotsit in a swingers club I was in", but a lot of people do like to travel further afield to avoid seeing anyone they know ...... it doesn't work, people in Manchester going to Chameleons in Darlaston to avoid locals bump into other Manchester people who have gone to Chameleons to avoid locals, and vice versa with brummies going to Manchester etc.
I walked into a club in Derby on Saturday and the first words I heard was Hi Jed, later our friends took us to another Derby club to have a look around and introduced us to the owners, who immediately replied "oh we know Jed from Chameleons", The first time I went to atlantisEVOLUTION there were 2 couples there I knew, the second time there were 2 more and now almost every week we go we bump into old friends that we have met at other clubs, I have been to clubs all over the Country and always met other swingers I know from local clubs.
Consider the simple things like kissing, some do some don't always best to think about what suits you before you go to the meeting stage
At a club you can see what goes on without feeling any pressure to do anything.
Cliquey clubs are actually rare though all clubs can appear to be cliquey, this is because a lot of regulars know each other and consequently chat to thier friends, but this does not mean they don't want to chat to anyone else or anyone new to the club, it's just hard for Brits to approach a group of people and join in the chat, I do it but that's me, however I do it subetly not in a crass way and I do find that people are happy to chat to me and add another friend to thier existing ones.
As for going local, it is only a problem if you are seen entering the club by someone that knows you and they are not in the scene, as most clubs have discreet entrances this is not usually a problem, meeting people you know inside the club is not a problem either because they are doing the same as you and not likely to run around telling everyone "I saw wotsit in a swingers club I was in", but a lot of people do like to travel further afield to avoid seeing anyone they know ...... it doesn't work, people in Manchester going to Chameleons in Darlaston to avoid locals bump into other Manchester people who have gone to Chameleons to avoid locals, and vice versa with brummies going to Manchester etc.
I walked into a club in Derby on Saturday and the first words I heard was Hi Jed, later our friends took us to another Derby club to have a look around and introduced us to the owners, who immediately replied "oh we know Jed from Chameleons", The first time I went to atlantisEVOLUTION there were 2 couples there I knew, the second time there were 2 more and now almost every week we go we bump into old friends that we have met at other clubs, I have been to clubs all over the Country and always met other swingers I know from local clubs.
Master of Sex
I have found them to be 2 completely separate experiences and so can't really say which one to go for first..
Depends what you want out of it.. do you just want to SEE if you can handle strangers frolicing in the same room, then ok, go to a club because it's guaranteed that you will see that..
However, a private meet can be a safer more relaxed option as you get to know the couple/individual, discuss what you are ok with what you're not, meet for a drink to unwind, take your time etc.. Club might turn out to be too overwhelming??
I reckon get yourself to a club in any case because it's a great experience, and if you are getting to know someone privately, keep at it. More than one night in a week you know
Depends what you want out of it.. do you just want to SEE if you can handle strangers frolicing in the same room, then ok, go to a club because it's guaranteed that you will see that..
However, a private meet can be a safer more relaxed option as you get to know the couple/individual, discuss what you are ok with what you're not, meet for a drink to unwind, take your time etc.. Club might turn out to be too overwhelming??
I reckon get yourself to a club in any case because it's a great experience, and if you are getting to know someone privately, keep at it. More than one night in a week you know
Casanova
Quote by M1ssVery
I have found them to be 2 completely separate experiences and so can't really say which one to go for first..
Depends what you want out of it..
:thumbup: Yep it really is apples and oranges... To the OP = look at how you've imagined it, this may be an indication on which way to explore first. Also, if you have time to dip in the chatrooms and ask people of their experiences, you can learn a lot very fast by talking to active swingers and it'll help you clear up what may work best for you.
Quote by Andy_Jules
I wouldn't say a club was the best way forward as a first off, clubs can be quite an intimidating experience for a newbie(s) to the scene, don't get me wrong much fun can be had at a club but nah, not as a first time, I wouldn't recommend it anyway.
Having said that, I think Bear's suggestion re an upcoming munch at a club would perhaps be the best of both worlds
:thumbup: also. I find it funny how enthusiastically regular club goers recommend this to an absolute beginner
Do you remember your first time?! heh. Master of Sex
Yeah forgot to mention, I got the best of both worlds.. I went to a Club WITH a private meet..aaah good times good times.. ;)
Quote by pebble
I have found them to be 2 completely separate experiences and so can't really say which one to go for first..
Depends what you want out of it..
:thumbup: Yep it really is apples and oranges... To the OP = look at how you've imagined it, this may be an indication on which way to explore first. Also, if you have time to dip in the chatrooms and ask people of their experiences, you can learn a lot very fast by talking to active swingers and it'll help you clear up what may work best for you.
Quote by Andy_Jules
I wouldn't say a club was the best way forward as a first off, clubs can be quite an intimidating experience for a newbie(s) to the scene, don't get me wrong much fun can be had at a club but nah, not as a first time, I wouldn't recommend it anyway.
Having said that, I think Bear's suggestion re an upcoming munch at a club would perhaps be the best of both worlds
:thumbup: also. I find it funny how enthusiastically regular club goers recommend this to an absolute beginner
Do you remember your first time?! heh.Yes, drove to the club, got out my car, went in and filled out the membership, was shown to the changing rooms, stripped to a towel and went back into the bar where I started to make friends, but that's me.
We are all different in that situation, if your the type of people who can go to pubs where the locals tend to be the majority but go in anyway you will probably find it as easy as me, if you stick to your local places where your known or go to bars that tend to be full of individuals that don't know each other (like hotel bars) then you may find it a litte daunting.
The problem is a private meet can be just as nerveracking as going into a club, at least in a club your not the centre of attention that you would be on a meet, what are you like when first meeting strangers, easy going, find making conversation easy or a little nervous, only you know that, socials are a great idea but if you are the shy retiring types then you could find yourself sat on your own all night and learn nothing, you can sit on your own at a club but you will at least see how it all works.
Sexpert
The right club on the right night can be an excellent choice for a first timer couple.
Try VA, you won't find anything intimidating about it. Make sure you go on a Saturday, which is couples only. Its very social and the main part of the club is just like a normal night club.
You can take your time, socialise with people if you wish, and have no pressure at all.
Socials can be fun too, but often they can be more cliquey than a club. VA is not one of the cliquey clubs we've been to, so you should be fine in that regard.
A and A
Try VA, you won't find anything intimidating about it. Make sure you go on a Saturday, which is couples only. Its very social and the main part of the club is just like a normal night club.
You can take your time, socialise with people if you wish, and have no pressure at all.
Socials can be fun too, but often they can be more cliquey than a club. VA is not one of the cliquey clubs we've been to, so you should be fine in that regard.
A and A
