Would like some advise or pointers if possible
Im a bi man and have been for years, but have never told by wife. I would like to broach the subject with her but could do with some pointer and advice on how to do it.
Any comments or advise from the great oracles on the forum would be appreciated
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Coming Clean
well to be honest,is there really anyway of coming out with it other than just coming out with it......i don't think there is anyway of softning the blow whatever way you put it across to than just being yourself and telling her you have something to say to her that must might leave her shocked and surprised....you know the drill....."sit down i've got something to tell you and you may or maynot like it but i have to tell you"
I understand you wanting to bring it up but you're the only one who can judge how she'd react. Basically if you've doing things and you don't think she'd find it a turn on or not be bothered I'd say you're screwed. If it's only fantasy stuff then I'd suggest bringing up in a normal fantasy telling situation.
Quote by da69ve
well to be honest,is there really anyway of coming out with it other than just coming out with it......i don't think there is anyway of softning the blow whatever way you put it across to than just being yourself and telling her you have something to say to her that must might leave her shocked and surprised....you know the drill....."sit down i've got something to tell you and you may or maynot like it but i have to tell you"
What he said really... and remember, this is about you and not her - some people go down the "it must be because of me route" and I think we all own the responsibility for taking responsibility for our own sexual preferences, so watch our for anything that looks like it might be heading in that direction.
3 questions you might want to think about yourself before you do this too:
1. What exactly am I going to tell her?
2. Why am I telling her this?
3. What do I want the outcome to be?
Granted, you may not be able to control the outcome but this may help you to help her to help you etc etc.
Good luck
Not sure this would help but we know a couple who are on here who had ads saying Straight male Bi Fem etc etc but he as it turned out was a closet Bi guy (yes you know who you are lol) He obviously kept it to himself but he kept bringing it up during fantasy play saying would she like to see him do certain things etc and he watched her reaction to it..... once he was happy with the fact she seemed ok he put her to the test asking should they actually try it..... she said yes and the rest as they say is history!! She even enjoys seeing him with another guy!! So don't write her off just yet lol.
Its slightly awkward because she is likely to assume that you have developed into a bi during your relationship. Ineveitably it will raise the questions of how,where and when and with whom. So be prepared to fess up as well on the adultery bit.
If you wish to 'come out', you must go through the exposure.
If you wish to 'come out', you must go through the exposure.
Forum Virgin
Spooky, why must you tell her ? Because she is guessing, because she has found out, or because you feel the need to be honest out of conience or loyalty?
Where will this take the relationship that you care about. Will it improve it or make her think you are a better person?
You are torn between your consience and your loyalty and you want to satisfy both, but to satisfy one you will destroy the other.
There is no magic bullett...the best I can suggest is to do it gently, gradually and sensitively over a long period. The very worst scenario is to blurt it out when you are drunk or the time is not right.
Finally be ready for the who why when and it was my fault reactions.
Good luck.
Paul_j
Where will this take the relationship that you care about. Will it improve it or make her think you are a better person?
You are torn between your consience and your loyalty and you want to satisfy both, but to satisfy one you will destroy the other.
There is no magic bullett...the best I can suggest is to do it gently, gradually and sensitively over a long period. The very worst scenario is to blurt it out when you are drunk or the time is not right.
Finally be ready for the who why when and it was my fault reactions.
Good luck.
Paul_j
Ther's lots of good advice been passed on to you from SH members, but it comes down to... YOU are the only person who can judge when the time and place are right to tell her you are bi curious.
The advice about slowly bringing it into your sex life and fantasy sound a gentle way of sounding her out with out to much risk to you of her giving an out right no.
We both wish you the best and good luck in telling her.
J n B
The advice about slowly bringing it into your sex life and fantasy sound a gentle way of sounding her out with out to much risk to you of her giving an out right no.
We both wish you the best and good luck in telling her.
J n B
