This is a good one, and unfortunately very true!!!!!!
Obituary of the late Mr Common Sense
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
Why the early bird gets the worm;
Life isn't always fair;
and Maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 -year- old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Tylenol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
This was sent by e-mail but struck a cord..
Feel free to lock if needed...
Mike x
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Common Sense! This may seem true to most..
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Seems sad really.....
I wonder will anything ever return to the way it once was?
Unity.. community pride, helping others when you don't even know them, all the nice things that made Great Britain.. great.
Ok there was some crap too.. poverty and the like but still sad the best went with the worst..
Mike xx
I wonder will anything ever return to the way it once was?
Unity.. community pride, helping others when you don't even know them, all the nice things that made Great Britain.. great.
Ok there was some crap too.. poverty and the like but still sad the best went with the worst..
Mike xx
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
Don't mock this bit. I have cause to think all mugs etc should have warnings on them.
Last night, whilst prone on the sofa, I rested a steaming hot mug of tea on my bits, and preceeded to indulge in my sneaky indulgence. As I went to dip my bar of Terry's chocolate Orange into my tea, most of the bar dropped in, creating a tidal surge.
I singed my minge.
well they say Common Sense is not always that common.
after the cup of hot coffee insident, a web site created the "stella Awards".
this is prime example Common sense has left us!
1 - Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store.
The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.
2 - 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses,when his neighbour ran over his hand with a Honda Accord.
Mr Truman apparently didn't notice, there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbour's hubcaps.
3 - A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone).
The beverage was on the floor because Ms Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.
and my favourite one
This year's runaway winner was Mrs Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mrs Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago (RV) motor home. On her first trip home, having driven onto the freeway,she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go into the back & make herself a sandwich.Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mrs Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising her in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded her $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons around.
after the cup of hot coffee insident, a web site created the "stella Awards".
this is prime example Common sense has left us!
1 - Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store.
The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.
2 - 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses,when his neighbour ran over his hand with a Honda Accord.
Mr Truman apparently didn't notice, there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbour's hubcaps.
3 - A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone).
The beverage was on the floor because Ms Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.
and my favourite one
This year's runaway winner was Mrs Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mrs Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago (RV) motor home. On her first trip home, having driven onto the freeway,she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go into the back & make herself a sandwich.Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mrs Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising her in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded her $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons around.
Sexlightened
so bloody true!
Is it because we are such a nanny'd state now that we are always being told what to do instead of having to use our common sense
winchwench - I know i shouldnt but...
:rotflmao: :rotflmao:
do u need a first aider?
Mrs G x
Is it because we are such a nanny'd state now that we are always being told what to do instead of having to use our common sense
winchwench - I know i shouldnt but...
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: do u need a first aider?
Mrs G x
Quote by mdr2000
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
So true - I have to deal with this every working day.
Quote by winchwench
Don't mock this bit. I have cause to think all mugs etc should have warnings on them...
I singed my minge.
Also true. I had to walk around one summer with the perfect outline of a penis poking out from between my breasts, burnt into my cleavage by some savagely hot soup.A speedy recovery to your minge winchwench!
All those Stella Awards are fabricated jokes see the real stella awards and snopes for references.
Whilst common sense is on the slide, the case involving the hot coffee found that the coffee was not only hot but actually at scalding temperature. you do not make coffee at home at this temperature, so why should McDonalds? hot is 130 - 140 degrees F, scalding is 180 - 190 degrees F. Scalding will melt skin.
Attacking a burglar in your own home....ermm yes you can so long as its not unreasonable force i.e. Shotgun.
Common Sense has been missing from the gene pool for quite a number of people just see the Darwin Awards for natures way of controlling their extent inthe population.
Whilst common sense is on the slide, the case involving the hot coffee found that the coffee was not only hot but actually at scalding temperature. you do not make coffee at home at this temperature, so why should McDonalds? hot is 130 - 140 degrees F, scalding is 180 - 190 degrees F. Scalding will melt skin.
Attacking a burglar in your own home....ermm yes you can so long as its not unreasonable force i.e. Shotgun.
Common Sense has been missing from the gene pool for quite a number of people just see the Darwin Awards for natures way of controlling their extent inthe population.
I believe Mr Common Sense is like Father Christmas........a myth.
Lots of people hail common sense as the end all and be all of a lot of debates. But where has this common sense common from?
Are people born knowing how to cook? How to dress? How to cross the road? How to know the difference between right and wrong?
In my view no. People learn from others.....mostly from parents and peers. So this common sense is actually common knowledge.....passed down from generation to generation.....whether the so called common sense is right or wrong.
So in a lot of debates people will, have and do wheel out the good old line:
"But it is common sense!"
And this is supposed to be the argument clincher
A reasoned argument is better for a clincher IMO
Dave_Notts
Lots of people hail common sense as the end all and be all of a lot of debates. But where has this common sense common from?
Are people born knowing how to cook? How to dress? How to cross the road? How to know the difference between right and wrong?
In my view no. People learn from others.....mostly from parents and peers. So this common sense is actually common knowledge.....passed down from generation to generation.....whether the so called common sense is right or wrong.
So in a lot of debates people will, have and do wheel out the good old line:
"But it is common sense!"
And this is supposed to be the argument clincher
A reasoned argument is better for a clincher IMO
Dave_Notts
Quote by flower411
Of course people are not born knowing these things, some of us believe that it`s common sense to teach them
I bet it`s possible to come up with reasoned arguments why we shouldn`t but it just seems like common sense really
This reads like the fellow off the Vicar of Dibley.....
No, no, no, no, no, no.......yes :lol:
Dave_Notts
Sexlightened
Quote by winchwench
Thank you for all the well wishes, on behalf of my minge (and the offer of first aid).
The minge is recovering well from the tidal surge/chocolate orange incident. However, it's owner is still miffed at the absence of immediate offers to kiss it better.
what you talking bout girl...that is how i administer first aid! :giggle:
