I happen to be quite choosy about where I put my penis, but I'm far far more picky about who I want to be the mother of my children and this is why I'll always wear a condom until I'm ready to bring another human being into this world. Forget about any other form of contraception, I see it as my responsibility to put a condom on. If two consenting adults want to take the risk of catching a std that's one thing, but producing a child due to this selfishness is in my opinion criminal.
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condoms v bareback
Sex God
Quote by northwest-cpl
This thread, and the other similar one, while informative, should not be used by anyone unsure of their boundaries to help set limits. The only safe way for people to make up their minds is to research the pros and cons thoroughly and impartially and not rely on the anecdotes of people on a website who are often unknown quantities. It doesn't matter what the majority of people might do or say they do if that goes against your own gut feeling. You are in this scene for yourselves, not for other people, and, so long as you do no one harm on the way, personal lifestyle choices should not be criticised by others who happen to do things differently.
Our personal stand is that we always use condoms but for penetration only. We do not use condoms for oral sex, despite the potential risks, and would not play with people that insisted on them. (We have never, up to now, come across anyone that wanted to use protection for oral sex in 6 years of very frequent club going.) We understand the risks but are prepared to accept those risks to lead a lifestyle that we enjoy. If that comes back to haunt us then so be it - we made an informed choice.
:worship: :worship: Fantastic post but I just wanted to underline the bits that I felt really made it the fantastic post that it is (right can I get up off my knees and stop worshiping you both now)
Quote by Too Hot
African males are broadly strictly heterosexual and aggresive anal sex amongst heterosexuals is a frequent and normal sexual act on the African continent. The vast majority of Afirican women victims contracted HIV through anal sex - whether they choose to admit this or not - most women will not of course admit to this
It is very difficult for a man to contract HIV from a woman when engaging in vaginal or oral sex and also difficult during anal sex unless the anus is sparsely lubricated or the act is very rough resulting in torn skin.
Sorry but the above is a load of rubbish. I grew up and lived until recently in Africa. I have worked with numerous HIV+ people. Anal sex is not the way the vast majority of African women have become HIV+. There are many many factors. Vaginal sex remains the most popular activity amongst those in areas beyond the remit of television and porn. And these are very often the areas hardest hit by AIDS. What is well known in Southern Africa is that black men believe a woman with a wet vagina is sick. Consequently many many women use herbal mixtures on there bits in order to dry them out. Of course this leads to the vaginal walls tearing easily as well as the penis and as a result it increases the susceptibility of the both parties to AIDS.
Africa is fighting a losing battle AGAINST AIDS. Part of this is due to the belief by so many that death due to AIDS can be blamed on something else. Only last week the ex South African deputy president stood up in court and told how he had had unprotected sex with an HIV+ woman. When asked whether he was afraid of hmself becoming HIV+ his answer was "Oh I had a shower after sex so I wont get AIDS." Now this is the man who was at the forefront of the campaign against AIDS until recently in South Africa. The President isnt much sharper supporting his health ministers claim that AIDS can be cured by eating lots of vegetables including garlic.
With some areas in Africa having infection rates of up to 90% anyone having unprotected sex with an African is simply following a death wish. I used to ahve a workforce of around 50 people under me back in 1999. By now I doubt whether more than ten of them are still alive - and of those a few will be HIV+
Quote by caylil
I know that some men don't like wearing condoms for what ever reason and I was just wondering what most men on swinging heaven prefer and would they go bareback?
Also if they go bareback how do they gaurantee being disease free?
Also are they not concerned about the risk of the woman getting pregnant?
just very curious.
Caylil
x
Bare back for us with each other, but when we swing with others condoms is the order of the day.
J n B
Quote by caylil
I know that some men don't like wearing condoms for what ever reason and I was just wondering what most men on swinging heaven prefer and would they go bareback?
If there were no health risks I am sure by far the preference (for both men and women) would be to do it as nature intended. However, that is not the case is it?(as a worryingly large % of the young adults in this country are finding out)
So strangely enough - I am not curious in the slightest as to what the majority/minority of men prefer - I am only interested in one person's preference...mine!
Quote by PoloLady
So strangely enough - I am not curious in the slightest as to what the majority/minority of men prefer - I am only interested in one person's preference...mine!
Bingo, I agree - look after yourself and let other's make their own decisions :P
I've gotten very uncomfortable in the past (no pun intended
) when somebody even started to insinuate that they'd like to have penetrative sex (or manoevure that way!) without condoms. When I used to cruise the gay internet there seemed to be some use of trick questioning... i.e. "will you have sex without condoms.." If you said "no", you'd usually get the answer "cool, I was just testing..." Worringly though, I never knew what happened if you said "yes" 
Its a sad but true fact that on this particular thread most people are going to use condoms, this is due to the type of people you are. I say sad, because in our limited experience of swinging (it is limited so maybe I'm way off the mark), when going to a club the free condoms are mentioned but treated like a disclaimer, when inside we so no pausing for condoms. Eg a line of 5 of 6 couples moving along fucking each other like a conveyor belt.
But much worse than this (because swingers actively take an interest in their activities), is the amount of unprotcted sex outside of swinging. This is the real danger. When the hippies said free love in the 60's do you think they would have envisaged what happens in clubs and bedrooms or street corners of a friday and saturday night in this country.
The alcohol clubbers of today take more sexual risks than probably anyone on this site. (Not including the pregnacy risk people).
Every weekend 1000's of tonnes of sexual fluid pass from one person to another, what a cocktail. The danger for swingers is that this cocktail will eventually work its way into the swingers clubs as these kids get older (no offence to swingers but it is a more mature scene, than the clubbing scene). Why does this happen, well thats a long story but when you think of the amount of disease out there its a scarey scarey place. .
1 person HIV+
1weekend of shagging =2
2weekends of shagging = 4
3wos=8
4wos=16
5wos=32
6wos=64
7wos=128
8wos=256
Thats just two months worth. So the African epidemic is not a remote thing. the same thing could occur here just as easily. Although I'm not sure on the probablitity for catching HIV from one meeting.
But much worse than this (because swingers actively take an interest in their activities), is the amount of unprotcted sex outside of swinging. This is the real danger. When the hippies said free love in the 60's do you think they would have envisaged what happens in clubs and bedrooms or street corners of a friday and saturday night in this country.
The alcohol clubbers of today take more sexual risks than probably anyone on this site. (Not including the pregnacy risk people).
Every weekend 1000's of tonnes of sexual fluid pass from one person to another, what a cocktail. The danger for swingers is that this cocktail will eventually work its way into the swingers clubs as these kids get older (no offence to swingers but it is a more mature scene, than the clubbing scene). Why does this happen, well thats a long story but when you think of the amount of disease out there its a scarey scarey place. .
1 person HIV+
1weekend of shagging =2
2weekends of shagging = 4
3wos=8
4wos=16
5wos=32
6wos=64
7wos=128
8wos=256
Thats just two months worth. So the African epidemic is not a remote thing. the same thing could occur here just as easily. Although I'm not sure on the probablitity for catching HIV from one meeting.
Quote by PoloLady
I know that some men don't like wearing condoms for what ever reason and I was just wondering what most men on swinging heaven prefer and would they go bareback?
If there were no health risks I am sure by far the preference (for both men and women) would be to do it as nature intended. However, that is not the case is it?(as a worryingly large % of the young adults in this country are finding out)
So strangely enough - I am not curious in the slightest as to what the majority/minority of men prefer - I am only interested in one person's preference...mine!
With you Pololady.
Sex God
Only times I've had unprotected penetrative sex has been in LTRs, outside of that, regardless of whether you like or don't like condoms and most guys probably don't ... it's basic common sense for both parties that they are used.
Actually, as a side note to this, how many people actually DO go for regular check-ups? I could be wrong, but my guess is many people would say, "Yeah, that's essential" but the reality is that very few do ... part of that being because it really can be a major exercise just to get an appt at a clinic unless you're within reach of one of the few walk-in places.
Actually, as a side note to this, how many people actually DO go for regular check-ups? I could be wrong, but my guess is many people would say, "Yeah, that's essential" but the reality is that very few do ... part of that being because it really can be a major exercise just to get an appt at a clinic unless you're within reach of one of the few walk-in places.
personaly I hate condoms... but you have to use them!!
and i do.
Hubby........... are you trying to tell me we are never gonna have babies? :shock:
thank god for that! lol
and i do.
Quote by redwine_lover
personally i find that the vasectomy i had stops the risk of pregnancy!!!!..a drastic move but works for me!!!!
also stops...the possibility of being viewed on as a prospective possible future new Dad lol...hahahahhahahahhaha..u cant blame me this time!! hahahahhaha
RWL
Hubby........... are you trying to tell me we are never gonna have babies? :shock:
thank god for that! lol
Quote by Risenphoenix:thumbup: Without a doubt Risenphoenix has hit this on the head - take the pun if you will
a subject thats been here before...and a no brainer
if you don't swing then go bare back as much as you want, the only possible consequences ...babies. & he does mean this in a ltr
if you swing, or just like putting it about then do not go bareback...protection at all times...
...and if you think that this will limit your sensations...then just go and have a wank ...safer for all of us...
Quote by tabbi:shock: this is gonna have to be the ladies call on this one!... be proactive & insist the condom to be slipped on in your presence... May I also spin this around? females participating in multiple blowjobs can pass bugs on from men to men too!... lets not assume this 'I'm alright Jack' attitude with either sex coz we're both in the same boat.
Something that I've wondered about, having not been to any swingers parties or clubs yet...
When all the fun is going on, do men change condoms for each woman they shag?????
Or is it a case of 'I'm alright Jack' coz they're protected they dont worry about passing from one woman to another without changing????????
I feel this is a generalization were all guilty of.
Not jumping on ya tabbi
you know I luvs ya baby! :twisted: Quote by Dawn_Mids
...The only safe way for people to make up their minds is to research the pros and cons thoroughly ... doesn't matter what the majority of people might do or say they do if that goes against your own gut feeling. If you dont like it then dont do it! :thumbup: ...We do not use condoms for oral sex, despite the potential risks... We understand the risks but are prepared to accept those risks to lead a lifestyle that we enjoy. If that comes back to haunt us then so be it - we made an informed choice.
Excellent post :thumbup: :thumbup:
End of... Fin... Topic over? :shock: yeah right! 
Quote by northwest-cpl
(right can I get up off my knees)
Well actually, so long as you don't insist on a condom, while yer down there ..... :wink: :giggle:
:giggle: I have to say I do not like wearing condoms & as I've posted earlier in this topic I only go bareback with 2 FB's.
I was asked to go bareback by a well seasoned swinger once & even though I was aware of her history & the fact she insisted on using condoms I still declined... So to quote PoloLady...
Quote by PoloLady
....I am only interested in one person's preference...mine!
I think that many youngsters don't buy condoms because they represent a significant proportion of their available cash. Also even with a reasonable education youngsters will ignore the information and accept to take a risk. As we know they may not be contracting hiv but are increasing other sti and std.
There is a wider responsibility, especially in social groups that are visbily sexually active, in presenting a better viewpoint on the issue. The 'i'm all right , each to their own' is easily interpreted as permission to go ahead and practise unsafe sex by the less experienced.
There is a wider responsibility, especially in social groups that are visbily sexually active, in presenting a better viewpoint on the issue. The 'i'm all right , each to their own' is easily interpreted as permission to go ahead and practise unsafe sex by the less experienced.
Quote by duncanlondonI think you will find that with many of the young guys out there it's the 'manly' thing to ride without a condom & the girls feel coerced by other girls <& guys> to get out of the 'I'm a virgin club'
I think that many youngsters don't buy condoms because they represent a significant proportion of their available cash. Also even with a reasonable education youngsters will ignore the information and accept to take a risk. As we know they may not be contracting hiv but are increasing other sti and std.
Quote by duncanlondon
I think that many youngsters don't buy condoms because they represent a significant proportion of their available cash. Also even with a reasonable education youngsters will ignore the information and accept to take a risk. As we know they may not be contracting hiv but are increasing other sti and std.
There is a wider responsibility, especially in social groups that are visbily sexually active, in presenting a better viewpoint on the issue. The 'i'm all right , each to their own' is easily interpreted as permission to go ahead and practise unsafe sex by the less experienced.
Try;
not bad prices.
Quote by
I think that many youngsters don't buy condoms because they represent a significant proportion of their available cash. Also even with a reasonable education youngsters will ignore the information and accept to take a risk. As we know they may not be contracting hiv but are increasing other sti and std.
There is a wider responsibility, especially in social groups that are visbily sexually active, in presenting a better viewpoint on the issue. The 'i'm all right , each to their own' is easily interpreted as permission to go ahead and practise unsafe sex by the less experienced.
Try;
not bad prices.
Condoms are even cheaper (ie TOTALLY FREE) at clinics everywhere
Quote by flidais-media
I think that many youngsters don't buy condoms because they represent a significant proportion of their available cash. Also even with a reasonable education youngsters will ignore the information and accept to take a risk. As we know they may not be contracting hiv but are increasing other sti and std.
There is a wider responsibility, especially in social groups that are visbily sexually active, in presenting a better viewpoint on the issue. The 'i'm all right , each to their own' is easily interpreted as permission to go ahead and practise unsafe sex by the less experienced.
Try;
not bad prices.
Condoms are even cheaper (ie TOTALLY FREE) at clinics everywhere
a Bit dull! but true!!
