Having read many of the threads about 'what people find attractive', the over-riding factor seems to be self confidence.
The trouble is a lack of self confidence is a catch 22 situation, you don't have it, people can tell and give you a wide berth, thus futher deflating your confidence.
Is there a solution to this circle? I realise we're not born with it but acquire it and also lose it, for whatever reason.
I suppose what I'm asking, in my usual round about way, is there a secret to gaining self confidence? if so, please share it!
H.x
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confidence
Quote by Saffy
When i first started swinging i had nooooooo confidence & a lovely couple took me under their wing. Which is why a few years down the road i am still here.
Other couple approach me & they came across as very confident which then made them appear very pushy to me at the time.
I feel you can be confident but when it comes down to it , it's how you come across to people & your personality.
If you are confident maybe you should use that to draw the less confident people out of their shell.
Dam i nearly got in first on this threat you lot type to fast lol
Quote by H-x
Having read many of the threads about 'what people find attractive', the over-riding factor seems to be self confidence.
The trouble is a lack of self confidence is a catch 22 situation, you don't have it, people can tell and give you a wide berth, thus futher deflating your confidence.
Is there a solution to this circle? I realise we're not born with it but acquire it and also lose it, for whatever reason.
I suppose what I'm asking, in my usual round about way, is there a secret to gaining self confidence? if so, please share it!
H.x
I'm not sure I agree.
I think if the self confident people give the less self confident people a wide berth, then it says far more about them, than it does you. And anyone that consciously deflates another's confidence is little more than an arrogant bully, trying to hide thier own lack of real self confidence.
I know that some people see me as confident. Some as an arrogant, opinionated arse. It's a very fine line.
I have seen it happen where the slightly less confident have found their own, inner confidence by spending time with the more confident. "the more confident" - but not necessarily overly boisterous "confident"
I think many "emotions" are picked up and mirrored from those around us.
That was crap. But I hope you get my drift.
I blame the sun :twisted:
Sexlightened
When i first started swinging i had nooooooo confidence & a lovely couple took me under their wing. Which is why a few years down the road i am still here.
Other couple approach me & they came across as very confident which then made them appear very pushy to me at the time.
I feel you can be confident but when it comes down to it , it's how you come across to people & your personality.
If you are confident maybe you should use that to draw the less confident people out of their shell.
Dam i nearly got in first on this threat you lot type to fast lol
Other couple approach me & they came across as very confident which then made them appear very pushy to me at the time.
I feel you can be confident but when it comes down to it , it's how you come across to people & your personality.
If you are confident maybe you should use that to draw the less confident people out of their shell.
Dam i nearly got in first on this threat you lot type to fast lol
Sexlightened
When i first started swinging i had nooooooo confidence & a lovely couple took me under their wing. Which is why a few years down the road i am still here.
Other couple approach me & they came across as very confident which then made them appear very pushy to me at the time.
I feel you can be confident but when it comes down to it , it's how you come across to people & your personality.
If you are confident maybe you should use that to draw the less confident people out of their shell.
Dam i nearly got in first on this threat you lot type to fast lol
Other couple approach me & they came across as very confident which then made them appear very pushy to me at the time.
I feel you can be confident but when it comes down to it , it's how you come across to people & your personality.
If you are confident maybe you should use that to draw the less confident people out of their shell.
Dam i nearly got in first on this threat you lot type to fast lol
I've been in a situation where I had to "feign" self confidence, day in day out for quite a long time.
Bear in mind that I cant even bring myself to ask someone in the supermarket where the pepper is.....i'm chronicly shy underneath!
Anyway, after a while your inner confidence does tend to grow to match the mask of outer confidence.
What I find helps is if you are in a situation with people who dont know the usual, shy you... feign confidence....they wont know any different and will assume that its your natural persona. Gauge how they respond to you, and go from there.
I've always thought that there is a gregarious, outgoing person inside me begging to be let out. But Im not done with you yet, Redpantherman.....Stay there!!!!
:twisted:
Bear in mind that I cant even bring myself to ask someone in the supermarket where the pepper is.....i'm chronicly shy underneath!
Anyway, after a while your inner confidence does tend to grow to match the mask of outer confidence.
What I find helps is if you are in a situation with people who dont know the usual, shy you... feign confidence....they wont know any different and will assume that its your natural persona. Gauge how they respond to you, and go from there.
I've always thought that there is a gregarious, outgoing person inside me begging to be let out. But Im not done with you yet, Redpantherman.....Stay there!!!!
:twisted:
Quote by winchwench
I've been in a situation where I had to "feign" self confidence, day in day out for quite a long time.
Bear in mind that I cant even bring myself to ask someone in the supermarket where the pepper is.....i'm chronicly shy underneath!
Anyway, after a while your inner confidence does tend to grow to match the mask of outer confidence.
What I find helps is if you are in a situation with people who dont know the usual, shy you... feign confidence....they wont know any different and will assume that its your natural persona. Gauge how they respond to you, and go from there.
I've always thought that there is a gregarious, outgoing person inside me begging to be let out. But Im not done with you yet, Redpantherman.....Stay there!!!!
:twisted:
I'm exactley the same!
I have found that my confidence has grown lately. I've met loads of new people through munches and socials in the past few months. I had a choice, I could sit in the corner with Den and nurse my pint, or think WTF and just jump in and talk/flirt with people (alcohol helps). Now every one from the forums thinks I'm confident and out going, which means I'm begining to be confident and outgoing.
........just don't expect me to ask where the pepper is in the supermarket
ops: Les x
Quote by couple_ne2000
I've been in a situation where I had to "feign" self confidence, day in day out for quite a long time.
Bear in mind that I cant even bring myself to ask someone in the supermarket where the pepper is.....i'm chronicly shy underneath!
Anyway, after a while your inner confidence does tend to grow to match the mask of outer confidence.
What I find helps is if you are in a situation with people who dont know the usual, shy you... feign confidence....they wont know any different and will assume that its your natural persona. Gauge how they respond to you, and go from there.
I've always thought that there is a gregarious, outgoing person inside me begging to be let out. But Im not done with you yet, Redpantherman.....Stay there!!!!
:twisted:
I'm exactley the same!
I have found that my confidence has grown lately. I've met loads of new people through munches and socials in the past few months. I had a choice, I could sit in the corner with Den and nurse my pint, or think WTF and just jump in and talk/flirt with people (alcohol helps). Now every one from the forums thinks I'm confident and out going, which means I'm begining to be confident and outgoing.
........just don't expect me to ask where the pepper is in the supermarket
ops: Les x
If I find it first, i'll let you know !! X
Orgasminator
I look at self confidence, in the same way as i would a fear of something.
To overcome a fear, you can approach it head on, or overcome it slowly, bit by bit. This in turn gives you more experience, of the thing you maybe afraid of.
When I first, got into swinging, my adrenalin would rush, my palms sweat etc. So I then approached it, as if I was meeting a new friend just for a drink. I still had the adrenalin rush, but felt more in control, and so more confident.
So I guess the way to gain confidence, is how you approach something mentally. If you dwell on something, it will look worse than it actually is.
I hope that sort of makes sense
While I’m here, if any ladies want to help me further with my self confidence :twisted:
To overcome a fear, you can approach it head on, or overcome it slowly, bit by bit. This in turn gives you more experience, of the thing you maybe afraid of.
When I first, got into swinging, my adrenalin would rush, my palms sweat etc. So I then approached it, as if I was meeting a new friend just for a drink. I still had the adrenalin rush, but felt more in control, and so more confident.
So I guess the way to gain confidence, is how you approach something mentally. If you dwell on something, it will look worse than it actually is.
I hope that sort of makes sense
While I’m here, if any ladies want to help me further with my self confidence :twisted:
Quote by couple_ne2000
I'm exactley the same!
I have found that my confidence has grown lately. I've met loads of new people through munches and socials in the past few months. I had a choice, I could sit in the corner with Den and nurse my pint, or think WTF and just jump in and talk/flirt with people (alcohol helps). Now every one from the forums thinks I'm confident and out going, which means I'm begining to be confident and outgoing.
........just don't expect me to ask where the pepper is in the supermarket
Les x
First of all you have to have the confidence/courage to go in the first place, which I haven't found yet.
I can ask for the pepper in the supermarket though, how odd.
H.x
Quote by H-x
I'm exactley the same!
I have found that my confidence has grown lately. I've met loads of new people through munches and socials in the past few months. I had a choice, I could sit in the corner with Den and nurse my pint, or think WTF and just jump in and talk/flirt with people (alcohol helps). Now every one from the forums thinks I'm confident and out going, which means I'm begining to be confident and outgoing.
........just don't expect me to ask where the pepper is in the supermarket
Les x
First of all you have to have the confidence/courage to go in the first place, which I haven't found yet.
I can ask for the pepper in the supermarket though, how odd.
H.x
You made it to Bristol with no (apparent) problems
Minx x x
Sexlightened
Quote by dambuster
Dam i nearly got in first on this threat you lot type to fast lol
There you are.
How's that for ya ???
Mmmmmmmm can't complain being on top of you can i?
Quote by Saffy
Dam i nearly got in first on this threat you lot type to fast lol
There you are.
How's that for ya ???
Mmmmmmmm can't complain being on top of you can i?
Of course you can - if that's your want
I did think of putting you under me to begin with, but from there I'd be honour bound to flip you over for a little "flat doggy" before pulling you back and up from the hips, pulling you apart with my hands so I can see myself easing in and out, as the starfish puckers and retracts in time with each slow, purposeful, full length stroke; causing you to "squelch" a little. Pushing the print part of my thumb against the starfish with gentle pressure in the hope you'd push back just enough to let me know you were enjoying the sensation; before moving up a gear or three until we're both slamming against each other, squealing and sweating, pulling your wrists backwards so your head and shoulders are raised from the bed; until I push you firmly down between the shoulder blades, altering the angle of penetration, pumping and slamming into you until I explode, twitching and jerking inside of you as you try to stifle your screams and moans by biting into the pillow.
But if I'd done that; I would have missed the opportunity to look up at you and see you sat on and above me, selfishly pressing yourself against my pubic bone as you grind yourself over the cock. Taking your own pleasure, with scant regard for me or mine (for a while
)Unless of course, you can do the proper "squat-fuck" - that's a whole other post:wink:
Sexlightened
Quote by dambuster
Are we still allowed to talk like that in here ???
Well i'm just going to have to sit on your face & make you lick me clean now :P
You are not sorryhe started so sorry my mum said i should always reply to peole who talk to me :D
Quote by Saffy
Are we still allowed to talk like that in here ???
Well i'm just going to have to sit on your face & make you lick me clean now :P
You are not sorry
he started so sorry my mum said i should always reply to peole who talk to me :D Can you shimmmy ???
and do you promise to in turn lick and kiss my lips and chin clean ??
Sexlightened
I never make promises unless i can keep them.
Sexlightened
rigor mortis god i wouldn't go that far for a stiffy 
Confidence is one thing i have learn from reading these threads you do not lack.
Confidence is one thing i have learn from reading these threads you do not lack.
Sexlightened
nearly wetting my knickers.
i think to have self confidence u have to feel safe in your self safe in your own body if that makes eney sense i used to have terrible self confidence i found it really hard to meet new people and could never feel good about my self as a person i found it really hard to talk to girls cause i just thorught oh i will just knock me back i grew up have no self confidence often taking digs from people which makes u feel worse about your self i decied i wanted to do somthing about it and i started going to write song and learn guitar and started playing shows which gave me alot of self confidence to get up on stage and sing infront of people it was big confidence boost for me (sorry iam babling now)
Quote by Devon1
I look at self confidence, in the same way as i would a fear of something.
To overcome a fear, you can approach it head on, or overcome it slowly, bit by bit. This in turn gives you more experience, of the thing you maybe afraid of.
When I first, got into swinging, my adrenalin would rush, my palms sweat etc. So I then approached it, as if I was meeting a new friend just for a drink. I still had the adrenalin rush, but felt more in control, and so more confident.
So I guess the way to gain confidence, is how you approach something mentally. If you dwell on something, it will look worse than it actually is.
I hope that sort of makes sense
While I’m here, if any ladies want to help me further with my self confidence :twisted:
i agree...i used to be scared stiff of having the confidence to talk in public..even shaking when i had to do it as a kid..i then got a job where i had to give team talks infront of about 30 people....i dont know how i got throught the first time, it was a blur but after that it got easier after each time..
But ask me to go and chat to someone i dont know then thats a no go.. but is that lack of confidence in me or shyness or is that the same thing...???
