Confident?

26 Jun 2006

Here is a question that has been popping in my head from time to time....
I keep being told I come across as very confident on the forum and sometimes in the chatrooms.
Now, I understand how someone can come across as:
- intelligent
- sharp witted
- funny
- and all the other things I am wink

BUT - how the fudge-box does someone come across and any more/less confident than someone else, when all you have to go on is text on a page confused

Answer me that one logically - I dare ya, I double dare ya!

26 Jun 2006

An assured expression of one's opinions?? dunno

(Now why did I have to go and put :dunno: in after saying that! :doh:

26 Jun 2006

I think that your quantity of posts and the time youve been a member is mistaken for confidence.

26 Jun 2006

Quote by PoloLady
BUT - how the fudge-box does someone come across and any more/less confident than someone else, when all you have to go on is text on a page
Answer me that one logically - I dare ya, I double dare ya!

I beleave it goes off what situations you post in and what threads as in I'll happily take the piss out of some things as most know (I hope) that I'm olny joking and can put a sensible post together if needs be. Whilst others may not be so confident and fear they may ofend the person they are quoting or teasing. :?
I've used piss taking as an example, but there is other forms of posting that can indecate confidence biggrin

That does all make sense or is it just my ramblings again :?

26 Jun 2006

Quote by goose35
I think that your quantity of posts and the time youve been a member is mistaken for confidence.

But they could have been 4240 entries in a word game or pointless 'blar' - how is that mistaken for confidence dunno

26 Jun 2006

Quote by westerross
An assured expression of one's opinions??
:

They are just words on a page though tune confused

26 Jun 2006

Starting lots of quality threads maybe.
Whenever, I start a thread I get all anxious and I keep visiting them like a sick person to make sure they don't die!!

26 Jun 2006

To me you have the courage of your convictions, you speak you mind (or post your mind), but do so in a well structured, constructive way.

26 Jun 2006

Aren't you.. in your 'confident' stance merely expressing it again here? rolleyes

You don't need the inflection of the spoken word to come across as self assured, your arguments are tenacious and your banter quite masculine... kinda states the obvious!

26 Jun 2006

I suppose voicing an opinion shows confidence to a cirtain extent, standing by it shows some confidence but then so does having the gumption to admit you're wrong.
So to sum up - I'm not sure.
I'm probably more confident in here than I would be 'out there' but then again some of that comes from familiarity.
I tend to use sarcasm as a bit of a deffence mechanism which can make me seem more confident than I really am.
H.x

26 Jun 2006

Quote by sheddy

BUT - how the fudge-box does someone come across and any more/less confident than someone else, when all you have to go on is text on a page
Answer me that one logically - I dare ya, I double dare ya!

I beleave it goes off what situations you post in and what threads as in I'll happily take the piss out of some things as most know (I hope) that I'm olny joking and can put a sensible post together if needs be. Whilst others may not be so confident and fear they may ofend the person they are quoting or teasing. :?
I've used piss taking as an example, but there is other forms of posting that can indecate confidence biggrin

That does all make sense or is it just my ramblings again :?
Is that not down to sensitivity or values? What an individual deems good or bad taste?
How confident does someone have to be the type words and hit submit?

26 Jun 2006

Quote by westerross
Starting lots of quality threads maybe.
Whenever, I start a thread I get all anxious and I keep visiting them like a sick person to make sure they don't die!!

How do you know don't?

26 Jun 2006

Quote by Dollyminx
Aren't you.. in your 'confident' stance merely expressing it again here?
You don't need the inflection of the spoken word to come across as self assured, your arguments are tenacious and your banter quite masculine... kinda states the obvious!

So is confidence a masculine trait?

26 Jun 2006

Quote by PoloLady
How confident does someone have to be the type words and hit submit?

If you put it mechanically like that not very biggrin

How ever if you take on board emotions and how you feel about others judging you by your post and prehaps what they can percieve about you as a person from your views it takes a fair bit of cofidence or it does so on my part. When I stumbled upon this place I wasn't quite the cocky fooker I am now. But the more I felt at home and the more I felt I was accepted I gained confidence so I can only assume that because I gained confidence others noticed it by my posting style :D :D

26 Jun 2006

Strangely, I look more at what I don't say than what I do say.

26 Jun 2006

Quote by PoloLady
I think that your quantity of posts and the time youve been a member is mistaken for confidence.

But they could have been 4240 entries in a word game or pointless 'blar' - how is that mistaken for confidence dunno

Should have added more than i did to explain my view from a relative new bloke perspective just gone 200 posts.
It's just my perception not just of you but any one with many posts and a cpl of yrs membership as per the forum stats under avatars. And having seen posts from such members.
I also sense an aura of experiance in swinging terms from regular posters, rightly or wrongly, even though its all text ect.
It's all perception on what people see, which is all they/i can make asumptions on unless they have the fortune of knowing you or others personaly.
People will have perceptions of me and others in the same way based on previous post etc..

26 Jun 2006

Quote by PoloLady
Aren't you.. in your 'confident' stance merely expressing it again here?
You don't need the inflection of the spoken word to come across as self assured, your arguments are tenacious and your banter quite masculine... kinda states the obvious!

So is confidence a masculine trait?
No, I used the wrong word there... perhaps you're just more 'ballsy' than some of your female peers!!
lol

26 Jun 2006

Quote by PoloLady
Strangely, I look more at what I don't say than what I do say.

There is plenty of times when I delete a post before hitting enter and submiting it to the forum and increasingly I ask for a second opinion from PK if shes around but only normally if involves us both in the situation I'm posting in biggrin

So I guess that as I do not post everything I compose I do lack a certain confidence in my style however I'd genuinely like to know how confident I come across to others :D

26 Jun 2006

Quote by sheddy

How confident does someone have to be the type words and hit submit?

If you put it mechanically like that not very biggrin

How ever if you take on board emotions and how you feel about others judging you by your post and prehaps what they can percieve about you as a person from your views it takes a fair bit of cofidence or it does so on my part. When I stumbled upon this place I wasn't quite the cocky fooker I am now. But the more I felt at home and the more I felt I was accepted I gained confidence so I can only assume that because I gained confidence others noticed it by my posting style :D :D
I hear what you are saying - however - 'technically speaking'the vast majority of you are all strangers to me. You are names on a forum with cyber personas - does it take confidence to express your opinion in a semi-anonymous manner to people you are hardly likely to ever meet?

26 Jun 2006

Quote by PoloLady
I think that your quantity of posts and the time youve been a member is mistaken for confidence.

But they could have been 4240 entries in a word game or pointless 'blar' - how is that mistaken for confidence dunno

I don't think quantity of posts has anything to do with it - as you stated, it's easy for someone to make 4000 posts of pure bollox in one of the bump threads.
Although you mentioned about just keying the words and hitting submit - I'd have to disagree.
There's a thought process behind the words you choose to hit. We can all spot if someones angry, sad, hurt or happy by what they post. I think it's equally true that we can see the intellect & confidence behind an individual's posts.

26 Jun 2006

Quote by Dollyminx
Aren't you.. in your 'confident' stance merely expressing it again here?
You don't need the inflection of the spoken word to come across as self assured, your arguments are tenacious and your banter quite masculine... kinda states the obvious!

So is confidence a masculine trait?
No, I used the wrong word there... perhaps you're just more 'ballsy' than some of your female peers!!
lol

If 'ballsy' means the same as cocky and sarcastic - I'll go along with that. :lol: But, I still don't see the confidence thing.

26 Jun 2006

But they could have been 4240 entries
Dare I ask how many orgasms were involved, probably not ..lol
Allan

26 Jun 2006

Quote by HornyLittleBlonde
I think that your quantity of posts and the time youve been a member is mistaken for confidence.

But they could have been 4240 entries in a word game or pointless 'blar' - how is that mistaken for confidence dunno

I don't think quantity of posts has anything to do with it - as you stated, it's easy for someone to make 4000 posts of pure bollox in one of the bump threads.
Although you mentioned about just keying the words and hitting submit - I'd have to disagree.
There's a thought process behind the words you choose to hit. We can all spot if someones angry, sad, hurt or happy by what they post. I think it's equally true that we can see the intellect & confidence behind an individual's posts.
Yes thats true but having seen many posts from PoloLady and know that not to be the case just adds to the perception.

26 Jun 2006

Quote by PoloLady
I hear what you are saying - however - 'technically speaking' the vast majority of you are all strangers to me. You are names on a forum with cyber personas - does it take confidence to express your opinion in a semi-anonymous manner to people you are hardly likely to ever meet?

But you build up a mental picture of someone's character from the amalgum of thier previous posts surely? Just because you have never met in the flesh doesn't mean you can't gage a person's personality. Did you have a pen pal as a child that you never met? I had one and classed her as a good friend even though she lived the other side of the country and we never got to meet, but I could describe her - maybe not physically - but her character.
H.x

26 Jun 2006

Quote by HornyLittleBlonde
We can all spot if someones angry, sad, hurt or happy by what they post.

I disagree - the vast majority of people see the mood the poster wants them to see.

Quote by HornyLittleBlonde
I think it's equally true that we can see the intellect & confidence behind an individual's posts.

I don't see how intellect links with confidence confused

26 Jun 2006

Quote by H-x

I hear what you are saying - however - 'technically speaking' the vast majority of you are all strangers to me. You are names on a forum with cyber personas - does it take confidence to express your opinion in a semi-anonymous manner to people you are hardly likely to ever meet?

But you build up a mental picture of someone's character from the amalgum of thier previous posts surely? Just because you have never met in the flesh doesn't mean you can't gage a person's personality. Did you have a pen pal as a child that you never met? I had one and classed her as a good friend even though she lived the other side of the country and we never got to meet, but I could describe her - maybe not physically - but her character.
H.x
What H said was along the lines I was thinking but with better vocabulary redface

However I supose this forum is differant to most as although some of us may never meet it has a tight comunity spirit that some others do not have for instance I use technical work forums where I post advice as do others but thats all it is and quite frankly confidence doesn't come into it as its just case of sugesting what as worked for you in the past. I use poker forums where I flame and abuse as do others but confidence doesn't really come in to that either as it has such a huge user base of people who sometimes never post from one week to the next (some times months) but they pop up again some time soon chuck in their tuppence worth and sod off again without even waiting for a reply confused

So in our case I guess we all think a little bit more (I'd like to think a lot) than the average joe public forum user biggrin

:D

26 Jun 2006

Quote by PoloLady

How confident does someone have to be the type words and hit submit?

If you put it mechanically like that not very biggrin

How ever if you take on board emotions and how you feel about others judging you by your post and prehaps what they can percieve about you as a person from your views it takes a fair bit of cofidence or it does so on my part. When I stumbled upon this place I wasn't quite the cocky fooker I am now. But the more I felt at home and the more I felt I was accepted I gained confidence so I can only assume that because I gained confidence others noticed it by my posting style :D :D
I hear what you are saying - however - 'technically speaking'the vast majority of you are all strangers to me. You are names on a forum with cyber personas - does it take confidence to express your opinion in a semi-anonymous manner to people you are hardly likely to ever meet?
i don't know, but i am likely to meet, and have met, at least a few hundred of the regular forum members, so SH is a little unlike other forums in that respect; forums that really are truly anonymous?
as for being confident enough to express your opinions? i've had comments congratulating me at times for saying what i really think, come what may, but is that really confidence, or is just i don't know when to keep my big bloody mouth shut? dunno

i agree that putting words up on a screen is no measure of confidence though? i genuinely am quite shy and retiring IRL, with not a lot to say at times, yet some people imagine me to be the exact opposite because i post a lot?
as for this . . .

I disagree - the vast majority of people see the mood the poster wants them to see.

i read that as a suggestion that the poster is somehow masking their intent? i'm not sure that that's possible over the long term? i think most regular members can tell when i'm pissed, pissed off, upset, or taking the piss, because they know my style and posting history. the mask always slips at some point if you're consciously trying to keep one in place i think?
neil x x x ;)

26 Jun 2006

Perception
The act of perceiving; cognizance by the senses or intellect; apperhension by the bodily organs, or by the mind, of what is presented to them; discernment; apperhension; cognition.
I'v sat here wondering wheather or not to post this as i hate using dictionary quotes to help try and explain what i'm saying but i done it now lol

Just to say its not just interlect that goes toward perception but the senses wich explains more to me than i thought.
Just what i'm saying is it's based on what i know at the time.

26 Jun 2006

Quote by neilinleeds
i read that as a suggestion that the poster is somehow masking their intent? i'm not sure that that's possible over the long term? i think most regular members can tell when i'm pissed, pissed off, upset, or taking the piss, because they know my style and posting history. the mask always slips at some point if you're consciously trying to keep one in place i think?
neil x x x ;)

That's what trying to cook the dinner and type does for ya - sorry I meant.... the moods or emotions of people change like the wind. If today I am upset and unhappy - here I could easily not show that if I chose not to. A person could be sobbing at the keyboard and just place a happy smiley at the end of a post and all seems well to the reader.

26 Jun 2006

Quote by PoloLady

A person could be sobbing at the keyboard and just place a happy smiley at the end of a post and all seems well to the reader.

This I know for a fact not to be true as I was having a shite day a month or so back and as far as I was aware I was posting as per my usual style it felt like it and looked like it and you all know if I have a gripe or a problem I make it known on here redface

However in this case I didn't wish to and tried to stick to my usual style. But with in a couple of posts I recieved a PM from someone who is not really conected with me in any way apart from a few friendly PM and very little banter on the forum and I hadn't been in contact with them for a few weeks the PM simply said..................................................
Subject: Are you OK
You don't seem your usual self today
(or words to that effect)
kiss