Confusing "Looking for.." entries in profiles

21 Nov 2009

Okay, I need a bit of further input/clarification from some of the more long standing members as it could just be the way things are done on here?
When browsing through profiles (usually of couples) I'll often come across (not literally! lol) one where I can't work out if they're looking for a single male or not.
To give an example....
In the "Looking for.." section they may list something like....
* Straight Couple
* Straight Female
* Straight Male
..or something different, but the important point being that they have listed Straight Male in that list.
However, in their profile text they may say nothing about single males at all nor do they have any ads looking for single males, often the only ad is looking for another couple. In those circumstances I err on the side of caution and simply don't contact them as I don't want to piss anyone off if they aren't looking for a single male, but why list Straight Male in the "Looking For" section though?
Does it mean that they are looking for a single male or does it mean that they are looking for a couple where the guy is straight? If the latter then surely the Straight Couple listing explains that one?!
Just wanted to see what everyone means when they list Straight Male in the Looking For section but make no reference to Single Males in their profile or ads? Just trying to get a general consensus and better understanding of why people do that in case I'm missing something.
Ta :-)

21 Nov 2009

we list as str8 males as hubby is not bi....n yes we play with single males. so when a str8 male meets us he knows that hubby won t jump on him...........

21 Nov 2009

Could be that they play with single males but not actively looking at this precise moment in time.
Or they could be but want to look for someone themselves and don't want a load of PM's
Or they just pressed the wrong button lol

Dave_Notts

21 Nov 2009

Thanks for the quick replies.

Quote by Dave__Notts
Or they just pressed the wrong button

lol

Quote by Dave__Notts
Could be that they play with single males but not actively looking at this precise moment in time.
Or they could be but want to look for someone themselves and don't want a load of PM's

Good points - hadn't thought of it that way. They may not be looking for single males but simply haven't removed the Straight Males bit from the list.
What I'm trying to ascertain basically is if a couple lists Straight Male in the Looking For bit, but no reference to Single Males in the profile text or ads, are they going to get pissed off if Single Males contact them or will they be basically expecting it by listing Straight Males? As I said, so far I've erred on caution and don't contact them unless it's crystal clear that they are looking for Single Males.

Quote by twos_company
we list as str8 males as hubby is not bi....so when a str8 male meets us he knows that hubby won t jump on him...........

But wouldn't that be clear from the Sexuality field of hubby's profile box? What I'm meaning is the Looking For box where it lists what that couple are looking for.

21 Nov 2009

I think I would take my chancesand cotact them anyway, if you are not what they are looking for they will prob just delete you message. We get many silly messages but they do not piss us off.

22 Nov 2009

Quote by Bluefish2009
I think I would take my chancesand cotact them anyway, if you are not what they are looking for they will prob just delete you message. We get many silly messages but they do not piss us off.

oh could we not have a place to post those silly messages? give peeps a laugh. :twisted:

22 Nov 2009

I think sometimes that people tick all the boxes (or lots of them) to increase their chances.
I actually think that when I see a profile with loads of categories in the looking for bit that they seem a bit indecisive/desperate/lazy and it puts me off.
But hey, just send 'em a message and if they don't like it they'll either tell you or delete it - no harm done. You could make it clear in your message why you have approached them, i.e. it says in the Looking for bit on your profile that you are looking for... so I have approached you.
That might prompt them to be more specific in future. dunno

22 Nov 2009

Quote by twos_company
oh could we not have a place to post those silly messages? give peeps a laugh. :twisted:

Now that's a great idea! lol

Quote by noladreams
I actually think that when I see a profile with loads of categories in the looking for bit that they seem a bit indecisive/desperate/lazy and it puts me off.

Or just very kinky! lol

Quote by noladreams
You could make it clear in your message why you have approached them, i.e. it says in the Looking for bit on your profile that you are looking for... so I have approached you.

Since I started this thread I've actually contacted a few people that had Straight Male in Looking For but ads or mention of looking for Single Males anywhere and that's exactly what I said in my message. :-)

23 Nov 2009

Quote by flower411
...but when we have no ad we often don`t reply as the contact is unsolicited.

That was my 'dilemma' and partly why I started the thread. i.e. a couple may not have an ad looking for a Single Male but have Straight Male in the Looking For bit and would they get pissed off if they got an e-mail that they regarded as unsolicited, which is why I'd erred on caution before and not sent anything.
It sounds like different people have different interpretations of that circumstance i.e. some won't mind being contacted, some see it as unsolicited etc.
As I mentioned above I subsequently 'took the plunge' and contacted a few couples with an appropriate message. If I don't get a reply then not a problem at all, as I'm not necessarily expecting one, especially if they aren't looking to meet up with Single Males at that point. They may just 'keep my details on file' until they are. Hopefully they won't just add me to their ignore list!