Considerations for \"Special\" swingers

14 Oct 2007

Hiyas all,
Its a long time since I posted in the forum, but I felt I needed to air a view.
I am aware that all party/munch organisers have a protocol to follow.
Having organised loads of parties myself, I can understand reasons why.
As the many friends I have on this site know, I am disabled and find it hard to organise far in front due to not knowing how my health is going to be.
I also know there are a lot of SH members who also have a form of disability.
The issue I find frustrating is how rigid these rules are.
I know what you are possibly thinking........... why don't I put my name down just incase. The reason: I don't want to take up precious spaces only to let people down at the last minute. I know how frustrating this is for the organisers.
I have always been very respectful to all users on this site.
I feel on the parties/munches a little thought could be made towards the "special" swingers. I know I can be fully recommended by all my friends, as like many of the other "special" swingers.
In this changing world, more consideration is being given to special members of society - perhaps SH could take this on board.
I am aware quite often parties/munches were organised in places that ensured all SH members were able to access them.
So come on people of SH lets be united in this and make some changes.
Hugs n all
Funin
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14 Oct 2007

Funin
You are more than welcome to attend Nottingham Munch 19th Jan, even if it is last minute.
There are steps, and in the past the 'he' men have carried up / down wheelchairs, and relevant people.
I feel sure that if you pmed an arranger of the social or munch you might wish to attend they would be more than happy to tell you about the venue / access etc and if possible accomodate you if your health is up to it.
xx

14 Oct 2007

Thanks Sarah,
Always positive as we have know yas xx
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14 Oct 2007

Hi funin 'n' Mike,
I have never organised a munch/social myself and possible never will due to the time it takes, although I do however understand the time and effect it takes to organise such events, the time element as well as all the PM and thread posting need plus good secretary skills which I will never have!
I think that no-one and certainly none of the event organisers or site (mob) organisers would mind anyone putting their name down for a munch/social explaining that there are unusual circumstances, no matter what those circumstances are, and that last minute they may have to pull out of the event.
I am sure that ALL who have the courage and give up their time to under go such an event with all the details a munch/socail needs will be understanding enough to take this matter on board, and welcome you or anyone else to a munch/social with open arms.
As already pointed out that under these circumstances, some information about the venue maybe able to be given e.g. wheelchair access, or amount of stairs, car parking and if the venues is suitable for fire exits (hopefully never needed)!, etc.
I do understand how this feels, personally and also as I know a peep who once wondered wither to inform the organisers of an issue he had, my advice then is the same as now ..........
trust the organisers, tell them of your needs and between yourselves see what can be worked out for the best for everyone ..... IF you don't ask or try then you sit at home wondering 'what if' and there is NO FUN in that!
best of luck whatever your decision is now and in the future
MF

14 Oct 2007

Quote by maidenfair
Hi funin 'n' Mike,
I have never organised a munch/social myself and possible never will due to the time it takes, although I do however understand the time and effect it takes to organise such events, the time element as well as all the PM and thread posting need plus good secretary skills which I will never have!
I think that no-one and certainly none of the event organisers or site (mob) organisers would mind anyone putting their name down for a munch/social explaining that there are unusual circumstances, no matter what those circumstances are, and that last minute they may have to pull out of the event.
I am sure that ALL who have the courage and give up their time to under go such an event with all the details a munch/socail needs will be understanding enough to take this matter on board, and welcome you or anyone else to a munch/social with open arms.
As already pointed out that under these circumstances, some information about the venue maybe able to be given e.g. wheelchair access, or amount of stairs, car parking and if the venues is suitable for fire exits (hopefully never needed)!, etc.
I do understand how this feels, personally and also as I know a peep who once wondered wither to inform the organisers of an issue he had, my advice then is the same as now ..........
trust the organisers, tell them of your needs and between yourselves see what can be worked out for the best for everyone ..... IF you don't ask or try then you sit at home wondering 'what if' and there is NO FUN in that!
best of luck whatever your decision is now and in the future
MF

Agree with every word...
Could not have put it any better....
Great ar*e too... Mwah x

14 Oct 2007

Quote by Sarah
Funin
You are more than welcome to attend Nottingham Munch 19th Jan, even if it is last minute.
There are steps, and in the past the 'he' men have carried up / down wheelchairs, and relevant people.

I feel sure that if you pmed an arranger of the social or munch you might wish to attend they would be more than happy to tell you about the venue / access etc and if possible accomodate you if your health is up to it.
xx

I've lugged a few wheelchairs on & off ships in my time- and I've not dropped anyone yet wink

Might have to pay special attention to bending from the knees though- dependent upon length of costume. :giggle:

15 Oct 2007

Quote by mdr2000
Hi funin 'n' Mike,
I am sure that ALL who have the courage and give up their time to under go such an event with all the details a munch/socail needs will be understanding enough to take this matter on board, and welcome you or anyone else to a munch/social with open arms
my advice then is the same as now ..........
trust the organisers, tell them of your needs and between yourselves see what can be worked out for the best for everyone ..... IF you don't ask or try then you sit at home wondering 'what if' and there is NO FUN in that!
best of luck whatever your decision is now and in the future
MF

Agree with every word...
Could not have put it any better....
Great ar*e too... Mwah x
Cheers mdr2000 innocent

winchwench, my knees bend too but possible not a easy or as low as yours young legs! Nice to know that there are some kind souls in this mad world of ours
There a lot who would be more than willing to lend a helping hand or leg if the need was there!

15 Oct 2007

Quote by maidenfair
Hi funin 'n' Mike,
I am sure that ALL who have the courage and give up their time to under go such an event with all the details a munch/socail needs will be understanding enough to take this matter on board, and welcome you or anyone else to a munch/social with open arms
my advice then is the same as now ..........
trust the organisers, tell them of your needs and between yourselves see what can be worked out for the best for everyone ..... IF you don't ask or try then you sit at home wondering 'what if' and there is NO FUN in that!
best of luck whatever your decision is now and in the future
MF

Agree with every word...
Could not have put it any better....
Great ar*e too... Mwah x
Cheers mdr2000 innocent

winchwench, my knees bend too but possible not a easy or as low as yours young legs! Nice to know that there are some kind souls in this mad world of ours
There a lot who would be more than willing to lend a helping hand or leg if the need was there!
I can only offer so many times ff's..... wink

15 Oct 2007

I think most public venues are wheelchair friendly anyway now, so it shouldn't really need any special consideration.
Can I ask which of the rules is so rigid as to be frustrating for you though?

16 Oct 2007

I'd have no issue with putting someone on the list as a "provisional" depending on their health on the day. It's perfectly understandable.
In all honesty, disabled access is not something I have taken into consideration when picking a venue - price, size and location have come first - but then. I've not had any disabled guests. confused

Finding a couple of hefty fellas (or indeed, ladies) to take on chair-lifting duties wouldn't be a problem - but would it for that "special swinger"? Not sure everyone in that situation would feel particularly dignified being lugged up and down the stairs.
Food for thought, indeed.

16 Oct 2007

Hi peeps,
Thanks for your positive feedback...
I have taken the "plunge" and have emailed a host of a party/munch.
So far no reply but its early days.
Hugs n all
Funin
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16 Oct 2007

Sorry peeps...............
Just to add
Disabilities come in all shapes and sizes.
I am aware most people do think its more about the wheelchair.
I have used a wheelchair previously, as well as going to a munch in it.
I have worked very hard over the past few years to learn to walk again so I rely on a cruch now to aid with my walking - but like everyone I have my good and bad days.
Hugs and all things nice to you all
Funin
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16 Oct 2007

Still confused about which rules are so rigid and what changes you'd like to see? dunno

Am I missing something?
Edit: just looked at the 'munch guidelines' thread and found this
'Having found a suitable venue, explain to the owner what you hope to do and discuss things like buffets, DJs, control of access, disabled access and private party status. Does the owner know about swinging? If he/she does, then be open with them about who will be attending. If not, perhaps book it as a birthday party.'
Surely that says that munch organisers/SH are already considerate of disabled members? I can't see what more can be done really. As far as I can see (particularly from this thread), any organiser would be happy to add you as a provisional, subject to confirmation from yourself that you'd be well enough/able to attend.
Or have you been refused by someone else organising something?

16 Oct 2007

funin_and_mike .......... bluddy heck ........ that's a blast from the past! :shock:
Hello you sexy little treacle puddings!!! ......... hope to see you both soon
Sam & "the old bugger" xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

16 Oct 2007

Hi Frecklebird,
Sorry I was in the bath!!
Just to claryfy the reason for the original posting was I felt it unfair that some hosts who organise parties/munches are very rigid and could perhaps be more conderate to us "special" swingers, not just me.
Hope this helps
Funin
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PS Blonde - we never left!!!!!!! lol
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16 Oct 2007

Quote by funin_and_mike
PS Blonde - we never left!!!!!!! lol
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:shock:
Well I haven't seen you about for ages......... just ignore me :crazy:
Glad to have you back anyway!!
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

16 Oct 2007

Quote by funin_and_mike
Hi Frecklebird,
Sorry I was in the bath!!
Just to claryfy the reason for the original posting was I felt it unfair that some hosts who organise parties/munches are very rigid and could perhaps be more conderate to us "special" swingers, not just me.
Hope this helps

I think if you have a problem with how someone is organising a munch, you would be within your rights to maybe PM a mod or the organiser and ask if the munch guidelines have been adhered to.
With regard to parties, they aren't subject to munch rules are they - if someone's organising a private party it's up to them what considerations they make. I know if I felt unwelcome at a party or anywhere in particular, I wouldn't really want to go anyway.

16 Oct 2007

Hi Funin,
Glad you got a quick response from people to you point - good luck to you.
Regarding organising a Munch - do the hotel get told that it is for swingers or is the landlord/lady a swinger too?
Plimboy

16 Oct 2007

I was in the situation that I didn't think about it with the first munch I held, but for those of you who were there will remember I did have a person who had had a motorbike accident and was at the time in a wheelchair...
so it is certainly something I think about now, when it comes to socials I organise all of the pubs we visit I make sure are fully accessable......
welcome back funin and mike... long time no see and glad to see you on the site kiss

the site is better for having you here again....
with my health the thing I do is be honest with the situation and make them aware that I may need to pull out at very late notice because all I can do is take one day at a time......
I have explain this to every munch/social organisor I have needed to....not one has complained so far smile

19 Oct 2007

being organisers of the derby socials now in our second year,we use up to 3 different venues for our socials,to be honest our first venue wasn't wheelchair friendly so like most we had to enlist a couple of strong lads to carry the person upstairs however our other 2 venues are wheelchair friendly 1 being on a the ground floor and our christmas venue is just up a small ramp about 2 steps high, however we are 150 miles from you so not much help for you but if any other wheelchair user reads this who's closer are more than welcome to attend.