"Where do I draw the line"? said the monkey as he wiped his arse on the carpet.
Ive spent a few evenings this week chatting to one very nice guy, and im kinda forming an opinion. Indulge me and picture this.........He said and I agree, better or even best sex comes from a regular partner with whom you have a certain raport. You both know the steps and timing, so you dont tread on eachothers toes, you know the likes and dislikes and have the confidence to push the boundaries and yet feel secure. Your less concious of your own actions and can better concentrate on their needs.
So........when does this 'swinging' turn into something more serious?
Is it when you find your self walking round his house wearing his boxers and shirt?
You leave a toothbrush at his just for convenience?
Your in his kitchen and notice the washing maching has finished and you hang out his washing?.......just to be nice cos thats what your like!
Your on the way over to his place for the evening and stop off for a bottle of wine and end up getting him some shopping at the same time?
Im sure you can all think of more examples
Are you two "seeing" eachother or just good fuck buddies?
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Crossing the Line
Quote by Scandal
For me it would be when the primary reason for going round to see someone wasn't to have sex. It's the bit when you think I quite like spending time with this person even if we don't shag. You start doing "stuff" together and you start to realise that this person is on your wavelength in many more ways than shaggin and possibly on your wavelength even more so in terms of vanilla hangin out.
It's a distant memory but it's all I can recall!
Aren't you just describing a friend?
Quote by Geminifemale
So........when does this 'swinging' turn into something more serious?
Is it when you find your self walking round his house wearing his boxers and shirt?
Your in his kitchen and notice the washing maching has finished and you hang out his washing?.......just to be nice cos thats what your like!
Your on the way over to his place for the evening and stop off for a bottle of wine and end up getting him some shopping at the same time?
Ooooh good question!
I'm not single so probably not the best person to answer this but trying to think like I was single, I'd say that I'd probably do the things you've mentioned above without thinking about it, just cause thats the kind of person I am
However, I personally would think I'd "crossed the line" when emotions got involved. When I had feelings above and beyond friendship. The above things are what I'd do for a friend, which a fuck buddy can be, right? but if I had deeper feelings and maybe wanting to spend even more time with them etc then I'd probably know it had gone further than friendship.
Fee
XX
Interesting question - where is the line...
I tried thinking about where I saw the line, three ideas later (all later dismissed)... I see this question isn't that easy!
Current ideas are:
- when you put them before yourself?
- when you feel you need their permssion to shag somebody else?
- when being with them gives you a warm feeling?
- when you need contact with them everyday?
- when a hug means more than a hug with a friend?
36 x
I tried thinking about where I saw the line, three ideas later (all later dismissed)... I see this question isn't that easy!
Current ideas are:
- when you put them before yourself?
- when you feel you need their permssion to shag somebody else?
- when being with them gives you a warm feeling?
- when you need contact with them everyday?
- when a hug means more than a hug with a friend?
36 x
Sex God
I think only those concerned know where the line is.
And if it's going well why even worry about the line..?
And if it's going well why even worry about the line..?
i feel like im going to walk into a whole mine field myself with this. at the moment i have no wish or desire to get into a relationship after spending 18yrs with ex and now getting divorced.
i have no idea or a sense of what a fuck buddy is, but hoping to find out. im the sort of guy when you got me you have me. i can really feel what you are going through because i know i will have to do the same in some point if time.
i have no idea or a sense of what a fuck buddy is, but hoping to find out. im the sort of guy when you got me you have me. i can really feel what you are going through because i know i will have to do the same in some point if time.
forgive me if im wrong here but were are you aiming yourself? you have been a lesbian most of your life from previous posts that i have read, but are now interested in men. are you looking for a stable and long term ie: at are age life long relationship or is the biological clock ticking.
excuse me if im missing the plot
excuse me if im missing the plot
Quote by Ukwineman
forgive me if im wrong here but were are you aiming yourself? you have been a lesbian most of your life from previous posts that i have read, but are now interested in men. are you looking for a stable and long term ie: at are age life long relationship or is the biological clock ticking.
excuse me if im missing the plot
No hunni, your not missing the plot cos there isnt one realy, im just learning a few swinging rules and boundaries
Ive always had it in my mind that sex can only be enjoyed as part of a loving relationship, but who knows?......maybe there is a way out of my hangups where i can have all the fun i want and not have men treat me like a whore and i dont even get paid for it.
My very limited experience of men has been one of "premature evacuation".......where they shoot and leave
ops: No hunni, your not missing the plot cos there isnt one realy, im just learning a few swinging rules and boundaries
Ive always had it in my mind that sex can only be enjoyed as part of a loving relationship, but who knows?......maybe there is a way out of my hangups where i can have all the fun i want and not have men treat me like a whore and i dont even get paid for it.
My very limited experience of men has been one of "premature evacuation".......where they shoot and leave
Not all men are like that
Quote by 36openminded
Interesting question - where is the line...
I tried thinking about where I saw the line, three ideas later (all later dismissed)... I see this question isn't that easy!
Current ideas are:
- when you put them before yourself?
- when you feel you need their permssion to shag somebody else?
- when being with them gives you a warm feeling?
- when you need contact with them everyday?
- when a hug means more than a hug with a friend?
36 x
Nah (is that the right spelling lp?) - that's all bolloxs. You can't know what the other person is thinking/feeling without talking with them and so you can't be "seeing them" unless you both agree you're both seeing each other... maybe...
OTOH if the point of knowing where the line is, is so to avoid crossing it then I'm completely clueless :? I think I will go and have a lay down... Quote by LadyFeeBee
Ooooh good question!
However, I personally would think I'd "crossed the line" when emotions got involved. When I had feelings above and beyond friendship. The above things are what I'd do for a friend, which a fuck buddy can be, right? but if I had deeper feelings and maybe wanting to spend even more time with them etc then I'd probably know it had gone further than friendship.
Fee
XX
i am along the same line as Fee with your question
when your doing things without thinking for someone you call a friend who you enjoy spending time with no matter what your doing ..... a nice tea morning, a pizza, a flim , a walk in the park or a meal out ....... 
a shag :) the question for me would be ......is the other person comfy with the feelings
lets hope so for a wake up happy smile each morning :wink: we all hope as singles that there is the possibility of meeting someone who we get along with and we can form a good freindship with but the danger is taking the matter further than someone is comfy with which may cause problems but one can still hope that all turns out alright in the wash :) as if one person wasn't comfy then the relationship/fuck buddie may come to an end :cry:
im 13 months down the line and iv still not meet someone that i get a long with that good although like you i had the thoughts from the begin that this was possible and i still beleive it is
gemini
swing rules & boundaries: these change all the time as each person you chat to or meet shall have different ones. think them all through and make your own which you alone are comfy with although you may find they change a little as time goes by but use them as a base which will keep you safe and sound in the mad world of ours
sex enjoyed as part of a loving relationship: i am different to you as i have always looked at sex from a mans point of view :lol: Premature evacuation (shoot & leave) :lol:
sex to me is enjoy the pleasue and if its FABULOUS then lets hope it's meet again :wink:
but i don't get involved with emotions pehaps i am just a hard woman ......although if and when i meet a very nice man he had better watch out :dunno: would i know what to do :lol:
in a nice world of old your way of thinking was the norm :) tender loving relationship but in our changing world this love is changing for better or worse
loving relationships are the best but they are for special people who can work together to build and enjoy the pleasures to behold
best of luck
MF
well im with you on that i have yet to actually give myself to another person, i have always felt sex and love are one and the same and i now have to explore. the next person will only be the third lady i had sex with and hopefully the first person to give me a blow job. that might sound crude but you build things up in your mind, i loved to give oral to my ex but she would never do it, i sort understand why but dont at the same time. im rambling now and im not drunk either lol
I would have though it becomes more than just swinging when you have stronger feeling for them, i'll stop and pic up shopping for the old lady down the road don't mean i fancy her tho :lol2: u get what i mean tho, helping someone out don't mean you have strong feelings for them, you can be taking it that one step further and not actually do anything for them at all its whats in your heart that makes it that.
Just my opinion for what its worth lol
Just my opinion for what its worth lol
Quote by Geminifemale
So........when does this 'swinging' turn into something more serious?
When you've spent far too much time together, to the exclusion of almost everybody else, but time availability and circumstance change so you say "Thank you I've had an absolute blast and fantastic time, but I'm going back to work next week and will want the freedom to swing as a single at weekends and while I'm out at work. Keep my number in your book
"AND/BUT - the look of hurt/disappointment/sadness/I don't like this on her face DOESN'T have you running for the hills.
AND - you realise that you feel the same, and that it's "okay" to feel that way.
