Dave J ......under the wheather....... but not a artist lol

4 Aug 2005

Quote by MISSCHIEF
I'll have you know that mine is a proper one, I'll try to remember to get a photo up tonight or tomorrow, none of your nancy exposure suits that many of the surfers wear, this is a proper 3 peice wetsuit, 7mm long johns, 7mm top and 3 mm vest with integrated hood. (Oh, and long tassle thing at the back so I don't have to struggle getting it on )

And do you pee in it to make it warm??
Just curious ........ only cos I always used to pee in mine :undecided: 8-)
Well the water was bluddy cold dunno

I used to, because for some strange reason as soon as I got in the water and started diving I really needed to pee, but after a while, even though I'd rinse it in disinfectant I couldn't get rid of the smell, so I stopped (unless I'm really desperate, or really cold)
These days I leave it to someone else to piss in my spare wetsuit and not warn me when I try to help her off with it rolleyes

You know who you are.....

4 Aug 2005

So it really is a water sport!! confused

:? :? :? :?

4 Aug 2005

Quote by Sgt Bilko
So it really is a water sport!! :? :? :? :?

Not sure what sport Missy was into, but didn't you realise that the sea gets warmer in summer not because of the sun, but because of all of the divers and surfers that piss in it!

4 Aug 2005

Quote by marmalaid
Not sure what sport Missy was into

I was into water skiing ......... but gave up when I could finally get pulled out the water without falling over.
Cos the boat turned a corner and they hadn't told me how to turn corners mad

So I carried straight on :undecided:
Nearly ended up on the bluddy Isle of Wight I did :shock:
But I'm sure I'll be a good surfer, cos that's all in straight lines!!! :smile2:

4 Aug 2005

Quote by Sgt Bilko
So it really is a water sport!! :? :? :? :?

Here's a picture of some surfers doing their bit from

4 Aug 2005

Quote by marmalaid
So it really is a water sport!! :? :? :? :?

Here's a picture of some surfers doing their bit from
I bet they have problems staying on them when the waves are a bit choppy!!! :? :? :?

4 Aug 2005

Quote by Sgt Bilko
So it really is a water sport!! :? :? :? :?

Here's a picture of some surfers doing their bit from
I bet they have problems staying on them when the waves are a bit choppy!!! :? :? :?

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
I have the most wonderful image in my head :rotflmao:

4 Aug 2005

Quote by MISSCHIEF
So it really is a water sport!! :? :? :? :?

Here's a picture of some surfers doing their bit from
I bet they have problems staying on them when the waves are a bit choppy!!! :? :? :?

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
I have the most wonderful image in my head :rotflmao:
Please share it...
The only time I can envisage you surfing, Missy, is when you surf the waves of ecstacy!

4 Aug 2005

Quote by marmalaid
IPlease share it...
The only time I can envisage you surfing, Missy, is when you surf the waves of ecstacy!

oooh you smooth talker cool

Well the image is hard to describe confused

Like seeing them two fellas with that look on their face - that 'straining to do a poo' look :shock: Only they're not straining, they're concentrating hard to surf the choppy water :?
Heads down, grip seats, concentrate hard, ready-steady ........... and surf them waves :bounce:
I shoulda left that in me head shouldn't I? :undecided: It was funny in there :undecided:

4 Aug 2005

Quote by MISSCHIEF
I shoulda left that in me head shouldn't I? :undecided: It was funny in there :undecided:

:lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: kiss

:kiss:

4 Aug 2005

Quote by MISSCHIEF
IPlease share it...
The only time I can envisage you surfing, Missy, is when you surf the waves of ecstacy!

oooh you smooth talker cool

Well the image is hard to describe confused

Like seeing them two fellas with that look on their face - that 'straining to do a poo' look :shock: Only they're not straining, they're concentrating hard to surf the choppy water :?
Heads down, grip seats, concentrate hard, ready-steady ........... and surf them waves :bounce:
I shoulda left that in me head shouldn't I? :undecided: It was funny in there :undecided:
I must confess, I prefer my mental image wink

4 Aug 2005

Quote by marmalaid
I'll have you know that mine is a proper one, I'll try to remember to get a photo up tonight or tomorrow, none of your nancy exposure suits that many of the surfers wear, this is a proper 3 peice wetsuit, 7mm long johns, 7mm top and 3 mm vest with integrated hood. (Oh, and long tassle thing at the back so I don't have to struggle getting it on )

And do you pee in it to make it warm??
Just curious ........ only cos I always used to pee in mine :undecided: 8-)
Well the water was bluddy cold dunno

I used to, because for some strange reason as soon as I got in the water and started diving I really needed to pee, but after a while, even though I'd rinse it in disinfectant I couldn't get rid of the smell, so I stopped (unless I'm really desperate, or really cold)
These days I leave it to someone else to piss in my spare wetsuit and not warn me when I try to help her off with it rolleyes

You know who you are.....
redface

ops: what can i say except the weather was very hot and i was drinking lots of water so i didn't dehydrate in the layers of wetsuit...............then immersed meself in freezing cold seawater with a full bladder and tight suit squeezing and ........the inevitable happened. If my mind hadn't been so busy engaged elsewhere when you were helping me undress I might have remembered to warn you lol

4 Aug 2005

Quote by MISSCHIEF
I'll have you know that mine is a proper one, I'll try to remember to get a photo up tonight or tomorrow, none of your nancy exposure suits that many of the surfers wear, this is a proper 3 peice wetsuit, 7mm long johns, 7mm top and 3 mm vest with integrated hood. (Oh, and long tassle thing at the back so I don't have to struggle getting it on )

And do you pee in it to make it warm??
Just curious ........ only cos I always used to pee in mine :undecided: 8-)
Well the water was bluddy cold dunno

Missy I am pissing my self here!

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:
How do you pee in it as a women though missy. i can just picture you sqatting over ya wet suit :rotflmao:

4 Aug 2005

Quote by Debbiewebs
I'll have you know that mine is a proper one, I'll try to remember to get a photo up tonight or tomorrow, none of your nancy exposure suits that many of the surfers wear, this is a proper 3 peice wetsuit, 7mm long johns, 7mm top and 3 mm vest with integrated hood. (Oh, and long tassle thing at the back so I don't have to struggle getting it on )

And do you pee in it to make it warm??
Just curious ........ only cos I always used to pee in mine :undecided: 8-)
Well the water was bluddy cold dunno

Missy I am pissing my self here!

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:
How do you pee in it as a women though missy. i can just picture you sqatting over ya wet suit :rotflmao:
You misunderstand, Debs.
Whilst wearing a wetsuit it's not unusual that you pee IN it, whilst still wearing it, it keeps the warm water next to your skin as it spreads from your groin around your middle biggrin

4 Aug 2005

Quote by marmalaid
(Oh, and long tassle thing at the back so I don't have to struggle getting it on )

Huh?

4 Aug 2005

Edited out 'cos there's someone on here, who's had a SoH bypass, impersonating me. As one or two other posts around here testify. I blame it on the chemicals in the C2 lager.
I'm outta here! bolt

4 Aug 2005

Quote by westerross
(Oh, and long tassle thing at the back so I don't have to struggle getting it on )

Huh?

I think he means to fasten it up with?

4 Aug 2005

Quote by freckledbird
(Oh, and long tassle thing at the back so I don't have to struggle getting it on )

Huh?

I think he means to fasten it up with?
Errrm, it's just that I don't associate Chris with putting anything on. It usually comes off doesn't it?

4 Aug 2005

Quote by westerross
(Oh, and long tassle thing at the back so I don't have to struggle getting it on )

Huh?

I think he means to fasten it up with?
Errrm, it's just that I don't associate Chris with putting anything on. It usually comes off doesn't it?
Just because you have met me, doesn't mean you can insult me!
Oh, go on then lol

5 Aug 2005

Quote by marmalaid
Just because you have met me, doesn't mean you can insult me!
Oh, go on then

'sokay - I've insulted people I haven't met much better than that. wink

5 Aug 2005

Thank you for the chuckles this morning. Ive been in stitches reading this thread
and as for mental pictures of certain people in wet suits oooooooh :shock:

5 Aug 2005

Quote by westerross

Just because you have met me, doesn't mean you can insult me!
Oh, go on then

'sokay - I've insulted people I haven't met much better than that. wink

Take your best shot, matey, I'm ready for ya, Mr Choon sir! :sparring: biggrin

Quote by Vicky_uk
Thank you for the chuckles this morning. Ive been in stitches reading this thread
and as for mental pictures of certain people in wet suits oooooooh :shock:

Yeah, they are all dirty, :shock: I'm a reformed wetsuit pisser.
Chris
PS If you ever have to hire a wetsuit it's best not to think about this thread!

5 Aug 2005

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Never going to hire one again
or borrow yours marms :shock:

5 Aug 2005

Mines fine, it's the spare you want to watch out for.
Actually, both sets went in the washing machine when I got back so all is well again, they smell of lavender and spring freshness once more.
Erm, thought I should add on pain of, erm, pain that all odours emitted from JL remind me of springtime...

5 Aug 2005

Quote by marmalaid
I'll have you know that mine is a proper one, I'll try to remember to get a photo up tonight or tomorrow, none of your nancy exposure suits that many of the surfers wear, this is a proper 3 peice wetsuit, 7mm long johns, 7mm top and 3 mm vest with integrated hood. (Oh, and long tassle thing at the back so I don't have to struggle getting it on )

This is decidedly kinky Chris ..... almost a fetish ..... there are clubs in London you can go and satisfy yourself in if you really feel the urge.. hehehe ......... u may end up in one of the more 'tacky' tabloids though ..... they seem to delight in 'outing' ppl with kinky leisure pursuits .. or wetsuits as in your case..... I'll never look at you in the same light again now .... and you bluddy kissed me at Libra's BBQ..... hehehe

5 Aug 2005

Well I didn't know folk pissed in them, I had one on last year for a scuba dive experiance and didn't know I was wearing someone elses porta loo :shock:
"Lets go try scuba diving says mrs davej" after pointing out a poster showing people swimming around under water with brightly coloured fishes and things in a calm and serene way....."Why not"! says I and coughs up the Â£60 each for what is described as a days boating and diving with experanced instructors, lunch included, for the beginner.
The day starts off just right with about 30 people on a boat that calmly chugs around the Turkish South coast for a few hours in brilliant sunshine, until it arrrives in an area with a small pebble beach. Our experianced and professional boat captain drains the last drop of Kronenbourg from his tin and after kicking off his other flip flop so that he can change his steeering foot, because his sea faring hands are busy holding lager tins and fags, guides the vessel into a position about 30 mtrs from shore and parks up.
We.....the students are told to get into our porta loos and swim to the beach where our dive instructors are waiting for us with the rest of the gear. Off I set and with the help of my German instructress, I first stick on a jacket that can be blown up and deflated, followed a weight belt and then some tanks and breathy pipe things. After a quick 5 minutes on how to use the breathy pipe things, we are then given a face mask into which we are told to spit. Now if there is one habit I can't stand is spitting, but I ain't no fool,cos I know that spit stops the glass from steaming up and without it, I might just as well be sitting in a damp chip shop in Grimsby with me glasses on and steamed up, so spit I try....
..phht....phhht..
..NEIN! NEIN!.....screams Goerings love child, "Not like ze blozing out ze birthday kaks kandel!....like zis"!!.....and with a huge snort that drags oysters of snot up from down near her boots she flobs in me mask and smears it about, settles it back onto my face, satisfied with a job well done.
So as I stand there with the spittle of German lass centimetres away from my nose I'm then shown how to get the water out of the mask when we are under the sea :shock: why fucking give me one that leaks in the first place I think and besides with all this green snot inside it, it must be sealed :shock: , but apparently it's common for water to enter the mask. Now I'm thinking back to the last time I slid under water in the bath, whilst in a slumber and the subsequent coughing and spluttering that ensued, so there aint no way that water is getting in this deep sea adventurers mask!....."mrs davej.....stick yer knee in my back and pull these face mask straps as hard as you can!" mrs davej tugs and I am satisfied that water aint getting in.
"Now ve shall valk to ze sea with and put on ze flippenz feat" says Gerta Flob.....yeah right, Ive got a fuckin weight belt on, bloody great tank strapped to me back, wearing a rubber suit in 92 degrees of sunshine, some tosser has shoved rocks into pockets in the back of the jacket to help me sink and now you want me to go walking :doh: personally I'd sooner sit here till the tide comes in, but walk we did.
So I arrive at the waters edge and walk in waist deep....."put on ze flippenz feet"and she deftly sticks hers on despite the lapping of the waves that knocks me off me feet every time I try and get one leg off the ground, causing me to experiance diving in three feet of water before we've begun. Eventually I manage it and after being split into groups of five per instructor and some more instructions, one of which was...."do not touch ze bouyanzy jacket I vill do zis for you"I'm blown up and floated out to sea.
If youve never been, it's an odd thing bobbing around like a jelly fish and not being able to sink despite the weight. Then I feel someone deflate me, which enables me to sink down under the waves to the bottom, where despite my swimming prowess, I am powerless to do anything other than crawl around like a crab.
Some twenty minutes of repeatedly impersonatting either a jelly fish or a crab in about eight feet of water and lesson one is over....lunch time. We return to shore, remove our kit and swim back to the boat. It's after removing the kit that the full impact of ensuring minimum water ingress into my mask hits home, as I've got a grove 3mm deep in me face and bulging eyes along with a splitting headache.
A pleasent enough lunch was served by Captain Pugwash and after a digestion period we are told...."Now ve shall snorkel dive wiz ze fish" now Pugwash ain't moved the boat, we are in the same place and there wasn't a fish in sight, but hey ho they must have a bit of bait to attract these fishes dunno

so those of us that still feel like it don the snorkels and jump overboard and float around waiting for the fishes.
"where are we swimming too to see the fishes"?asks one of the party that are in the water......"ve swim nowhere ze fishes vill come"replies miss flob.
Now if you've never been on a flattish bottomed boat thats parked up in a gently rolling sea you will not have experianced the gentle rocking that causes a minority of people to return their just eaten lunch back up from their stomachs with a retching sound. Very soon this started to happen with those still on the boat chucking up......cue fishes...hundreds of em....."Now ve swim wiz ze fishes" as she strikes out towards the baoats side with us idiots in tow, where it's finally twigged with me that the fish bait is the puke from those still on board.
So now we are swimming around with hundreds of brightly coloured fish around us, but within range of the puke heads up above. It's easy to work out if the moisture on your exposed head and shoulders is puke or sea water cos puke is warmer and there were definately occassions when me head and shoulders were wetted with a warmer liquid than sea water....the fishes were nice, but not worth that, next time I will stick to visiting them in aquariums where it's not necessary to swim around in the sick of people you have never been introduced formally too.
It seems to me that pissin in a wet suit, is just another hidden and messy part of a pastime that ain't as pretty as it looks.

5 Aug 2005

:rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao:
Oh Dave ..... I am wiping absolute tears here ....
Sometimes when people relate stuff you just have to be there ... but not you ..... oh god .. I so don't want to be "there" with this.
C x

5 Aug 2005

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Oh god, oh god I can't stop laughing :rotflmao: Oh Dave ya poor bugger :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
I gotta print that off :rotflmao:

5 Aug 2005

:evil2: :evil2: :evil2: :evil2:
.....sometimes these things happen to the most deserving people!!!!! lol

5 Aug 2005

:rotflmao: PMSS!!
Ya booger - that should've come with a health warning - I've pulled a muscle.