After living together for 4 1/2 years my gf came home on Tuesday and told me she no longer loves me like that anymore and that i am more of a best friend than a boyfiend and that she wants to move on. To make matters worse we finally stopped renting and bought a house of ourselves together only 6 months ago.
I was wondering what advice the guys on here could give me on how to move on from this. Has anyone been through a similar situation.
Any advice would be appriciated.
R.
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dealing with break ups
Whatever you do, don't beg....
It is crap when someone tells you that they don't love you anymore, makes you wonder what you did wrong and what is wrong with you.
Been through it myself, we all have different ways of dealing with it, the important thing is to do just that, deal with it.
Figuring out what to do with the house is going to be hard, not much equity after 6 months, maybe you could rent it out and split the income for a while until there is enough equity to make it worth selling.
Good luck, you'll be fine
x
It is crap when someone tells you that they don't love you anymore, makes you wonder what you did wrong and what is wrong with you.
Been through it myself, we all have different ways of dealing with it, the important thing is to do just that, deal with it.
Figuring out what to do with the house is going to be hard, not much equity after 6 months, maybe you could rent it out and split the income for a while until there is enough equity to make it worth selling.
Good luck, you'll be fine
x
Sex God
it happens but life dont stop still unless you let it ,then just when you least expect it something cums along and changes your life again for the best and thats when you do start living happened here and now i am having a blast .ps the fooker still cant cook though 
Orgasminator
Sorry to hear about the breakup of your relationship. It must be very hard on you, especially as there was no indication of how her feelings had changed.
It is difficult to give advice how to deal with the breakup. Someone had told me I had to take time out and deal with my feelings but I did not listen. I began dating like crazy as soon as I had moved to my own flat. I wanted to prove that nothing can stop me living. Yet, I was so hurt inside, that I ended up talking about him all the time. I guess the men must have been in dire need of sex to sit and listen to me so patiently...
It takes a long time to come to terms with the ending of a relationship and move on. It will seem as though you are moving on but your mind will be stuck in the past, your heart will be craving the emotions of the past, your footsteps will be bringing you outside her door, you'll be checking to see if she's online on messenger hoping she'll strike up a conversation with you...
But you know what? At least you'll know you are alive emotionally, even if it hurts like hell. And with time you'll be able to trust and love again and maybe this time it will be the real thing that will last forever
It is difficult to give advice how to deal with the breakup. Someone had told me I had to take time out and deal with my feelings but I did not listen. I began dating like crazy as soon as I had moved to my own flat. I wanted to prove that nothing can stop me living. Yet, I was so hurt inside, that I ended up talking about him all the time. I guess the men must have been in dire need of sex to sit and listen to me so patiently...
It takes a long time to come to terms with the ending of a relationship and move on. It will seem as though you are moving on but your mind will be stuck in the past, your heart will be craving the emotions of the past, your footsteps will be bringing you outside her door, you'll be checking to see if she's online on messenger hoping she'll strike up a conversation with you...
But you know what? At least you'll know you are alive emotionally, even if it hurts like hell. And with time you'll be able to trust and love again and maybe this time it will be the real thing that will last forever
I went through exactly the same thing in february, and it's hard, really hard.
We still see each other regularly, just as friends, but the best thig you can do is try to move on.
I still have massive feelings for her, and I know deep down she feels the same, however, I know it will never be as it was and I am trying to get my life back to how it was before we met.
I'm going out with other friends more, taking long walks to crazy places, and I am slowly but surely getting myself back onto the singles market and looking to move on 100%.
It will hurt, it will cause you to question what you could have done differently, however, only she knows why, and unless she tells you, you will forever wonder why.
Best not to dwell on it.
We still see each other regularly, just as friends, but the best thig you can do is try to move on.
I still have massive feelings for her, and I know deep down she feels the same, however, I know it will never be as it was and I am trying to get my life back to how it was before we met.
I'm going out with other friends more, taking long walks to crazy places, and I am slowly but surely getting myself back onto the singles market and looking to move on 100%.
It will hurt, it will cause you to question what you could have done differently, however, only she knows why, and unless she tells you, you will forever wonder why.
Best not to dwell on it.
Sex God
It's a tough situation that at one time or another, many of us will go through or have gone through. Unfortunately, it really is the case that you will pass through the immediate shitty period to get to the calm ahead of you.
yeah... get over it as soon as you can....
it can eat you up like youd never believe...
you have your whole life ahead of you and if you live in the past you will never look forward.
she gave you some reasons... called it a day... and is moving on...
if you dont do the same it will rot you away like a cancer....
dont even go there mate !!!!!! move on... quick
treat the selling of the house like the business arrangement it is.. act like a business proffesional would and i repeat.... dont sleep with her ever again.... its over....
Bloody hell... have i been there myself or something..???
it can eat you up like youd never believe...
you have your whole life ahead of you and if you live in the past you will never look forward.
she gave you some reasons... called it a day... and is moving on...
if you dont do the same it will rot you away like a cancer....
dont even go there mate !!!!!! move on... quick
treat the selling of the house like the business arrangement it is.. act like a business proffesional would and i repeat.... dont sleep with her ever again.... its over....
Bloody hell... have i been there myself or something..???
I'm going through a break up so can sympathise. The difference is my partner and I have a daughter who is 5. We've fallen out of love, and I'm actually wondering if we ever loved each other, but it swings each day from an amicable break up to a hostile one! It's got to the point where I've accepted it it the right thing to do but we're still together because of our daughterr and despite the fact we'd be better off apart we're just about together just for her. You haven't got that to consider so go for it. And if you need anyone to talk to give me a shout as it's odds on I'll be in the same boat very soon!
Quote by Jonnyboy
I'm going through a break up so can sympathise. The difference is my partner and I have a daughter who is 5. We've fallen out of love, and I'm actually wondering if we ever loved each other, but it swings each day from an amicable break up to a hostile one! It's got to the point where I've accepted it it the right thing to do but we're still together because of our daughterr and despite the fact we'd be better off apart we're just about together just for her. You haven't got that to consider so go for it. And if you need anyone to talk to give me a shout as it's odds on I'll be in the same boat very soon!
i watched breaking up with the jones last night on C4 ...and it's so tough on the Dad splitting up as he misses out on that everyday stuff on a daily basis...
are there many people who successfully manage to stay together just for the kids... and if they are friends only... how on earth do they deal with the lack of sex side... i suppose this is maybe when attached/married guys look at other means...like swinging.
my heart goes out to you regarding your daughter
Mutley, I so feel for you hun. I went through hell after falling for my best mate. We love each other dearly as mates and we were soulmates even before sex became part of it.
The trouble started when we both developed deeper feelings for each other and called it a day on the sex side of it.
It's heartbreaking to see him now just as my best mate, knowing what we had between us and also knowing we'll never be there again but I couldn't break off our friendship, that means too much to both of us.
All I can say is hang in there. Yes, it hurts now and it's going to hurt for a while longer but each day does get easier.
Only you can decide when you're truly over it and when it's time to move on
Good luck anyway
The trouble started when we both developed deeper feelings for each other and called it a day on the sex side of it.
It's heartbreaking to see him now just as my best mate, knowing what we had between us and also knowing we'll never be there again but I couldn't break off our friendship, that means too much to both of us.
All I can say is hang in there. Yes, it hurts now and it's going to hurt for a while longer but each day does get easier.
Only you can decide when you're truly over it and when it's time to move on
Good luck anyway
I am going thru the same now down here in Bristol. Every day is torture knowing that someone u love dont love u anymore. To cap it all she is the most wonderful person ever in my life and Ive lost her even though we still live in same house its agony watching her get ready to go out to socialise with others. Its eating my insides away day by day. If anyone down here has time to give me to talk over a drink Id really appreciate the company. Cos at the moment its VERY LONELY IN LIFE. Sad I know but Im sure peeps understand that.
BJ
BJ
Sex God
I can only add that I too have been there. after 14 years together my 2nd wife left me........ I had the well meaning advice that I ignored, I bought a flat and shagged anything that moved, but at the same time I still was in love with the ex.....
Eventually it worked out, I am now 10 years later happily married again, and look back on those days and realise that my wonderful ex wasn't perhaps as wonderful as I thought (she didn't swing for one thing ).
Do what you feel is right but remember one thing........... it's not the end of the world, just the closing of one door before another one opens. Think like that and no matter what happens you'll get through it.
Oh and PS sell the house and make a clean break
M
Eventually it worked out, I am now 10 years later happily married again, and look back on those days and realise that my wonderful ex wasn't perhaps as wonderful as I thought (she didn't swing for one thing
).Do what you feel is right but remember one thing........... it's not the end of the world, just the closing of one door before another one opens. Think like that and no matter what happens you'll get through it.
Oh and PS sell the house and make a clean break
M
Been there mate.
Respect her because she told you the truth.
There has been two women in my life that I have loved, I made a point not to see/talk to them when we split, I find it easier that way, whenever a couple split, it is normally one person who ends it, and I find it easier to stay away.
It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved.
Good luck mate, throw yourself into your work and get a hobby, mines military vehciles and if you want to get involved, pm me.
Respect her because she told you the truth.
There has been two women in my life that I have loved, I made a point not to see/talk to them when we split, I find it easier that way, whenever a couple split, it is normally one person who ends it, and I find it easier to stay away.
It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved.
Good luck mate, throw yourself into your work and get a hobby, mines military vehciles and if you want to get involved, pm me.
sorry for the bad news fella
i recentley came out of a 2 year relationship with someone and no only too well how u are feeling,her reason for splitting up was " i love you but im not in love with you" classic !only a woman could say that lol
we spent 2 great years together and then she dropped that on me,
all the advice youve been giving is sound advice mate,you will feel crap for a while and will not be able to see a future for yourself and it will hurt bigtime but there does come a time when u wake up one day and think " u know what its her loss" and u will move on and the pain becomes a dull ache,try to tell yourself that u are the better person in this and try not to constantly wander what she is doin ,that will eat u up
try writing a letter to her expressin how u feel get all your emotions down on paper BUT DO NOT post the letter then in a couple of weeks read it to yourself and youll be amazed at how some things youd written are no longer relevant,some people like to get it all out there system by getting as low as they can I E playing all those sad songs that remind u of her etc and that can help,keep yourself busy and occupy your mind ,go out and have fun with your mates do whatever it takes,also comfort yourslef in the knowledge that maybe one day shell regret her decision but you will have moved on,i hope ive made sense in all this,it took me a while but im getting there now,it still hurts i wont lie to u but its no where near as painfull as it was and now i just feel resntment for her
if u fancy a natter anytime mate let me know,alot of folk dont realise this but us blokes hurt too sometimes and we can be sensitive aswell
good luck to u mate,u will get there i assure u
ill leave u with this
"theres nothing like the next one to gte u over the last one"
good luck
dale
i recentley came out of a 2 year relationship with someone and no only too well how u are feeling,her reason for splitting up was " i love you but im not in love with you" classic !only a woman could say that lol
we spent 2 great years together and then she dropped that on me,
all the advice youve been giving is sound advice mate,you will feel crap for a while and will not be able to see a future for yourself and it will hurt bigtime but there does come a time when u wake up one day and think " u know what its her loss" and u will move on and the pain becomes a dull ache,try to tell yourself that u are the better person in this and try not to constantly wander what she is doin ,that will eat u up
try writing a letter to her expressin how u feel get all your emotions down on paper BUT DO NOT post the letter then in a couple of weeks read it to yourself and youll be amazed at how some things youd written are no longer relevant,some people like to get it all out there system by getting as low as they can I E playing all those sad songs that remind u of her etc and that can help,keep yourself busy and occupy your mind ,go out and have fun with your mates do whatever it takes,also comfort yourslef in the knowledge that maybe one day shell regret her decision but you will have moved on,i hope ive made sense in all this,it took me a while but im getting there now,it still hurts i wont lie to u but its no where near as painfull as it was and now i just feel resntment for her
if u fancy a natter anytime mate let me know,alot of folk dont realise this but us blokes hurt too sometimes and we can be sensitive aswell
good luck to u mate,u will get there i assure u
ill leave u with this
"theres nothing like the next one to gte u over the last one"
good luck
dale
Quote by Abilene
I have nothing to add that hasn't already been said. I bought a house with my ex and a year later ( 4 yrs total together ) he said he wanted to be single for a while. ffs.
Now...fancy a shag???
Ok..ok.... y'all don't jump on me ... just trying to make him smile. Geeezzzzz
you say dont jump on you, how about gently lay on top?
Quote by essex34m
I have nothing to add that hasn't already been said. I bought a house with my ex and a year later ( 4 yrs total together ) he said he wanted to be single for a while. ffs.
Now...fancy a shag???
Ok..ok.... y'all don't jump on me ... just trying to make him smile. Geeezzzzz
you say dont jump on you, how about gently lay on top?
Wooohoooo ... and on a Monday too .... what a start to the week.
Ok hijack over.
Been there - done that
Try 8 years together - mortage, two kids, some debt for good measure -
What me???? - baggage......
:taz: :taz: :taz:
Oh!! and if you are wondering what that noise is, its me throwing of the chains and running like mad for the first flight to Fiji. :smug: :smug: :smug:
No, but seriously - it hurts when you get dumped, especially since you feel that you put so much into the relationship for so long - but after a while it gets MUCH better...
Try 8 years together - mortage, two kids, some debt for good measure -
What me???? - baggage......
:taz: :taz: :taz:
Oh!! and if you are wondering what that noise is, its me throwing of the chains and running like mad for the first flight to Fiji. :smug: :smug: :smug:
No, but seriously - it hurts when you get dumped, especially since you feel that you put so much into the relationship for so long - but after a while it gets MUCH better...
I hear ya Robin. Thing is when hubby of 13 years left me it didn't seem to hurt as much as this break up with my mate has. Maybe because me and hubby fell out of love a long time ago and we were just drifting. The break up with my mate came out of the blue and I don't think we'll ever have real closure to it all because he won't talk about it.
Group hug?
:therethere:
Group hug?
:therethere:
Sadly anything anyone says here cannot match exactly your feelings or situation.
Had the 13 years together with my ex before she decided she didn't feel for me the way she did and decided to move in with her boss. To be honest I suppose I should have known something was wrong with all the overtime she was doing lol
My advice for what it is worth is if you truely love / loved her, then I expect you only want the best for her. Sadly sometimes we have to accept that we may not be the right person to offer that and as the saying goes if you love something you have to set it free.
The time straight afterwards was one of the most painful I have ever known, and I thought it would never improve, but life has a way of moving on even when we feel we can't and now a year down the line I am with an amazing women and feel in someways without the pain I went through I would never be in the happy situation I am now.
Had the 13 years together with my ex before she decided she didn't feel for me the way she did and decided to move in with her boss. To be honest I suppose I should have known something was wrong with all the overtime she was doing lol
My advice for what it is worth is if you truely love / loved her, then I expect you only want the best for her. Sadly sometimes we have to accept that we may not be the right person to offer that and as the saying goes if you love something you have to set it free.
The time straight afterwards was one of the most painful I have ever known, and I thought it would never improve, but life has a way of moving on even when we feel we can't and now a year down the line I am with an amazing women and feel in someways without the pain I went through I would never be in the happy situation I am now.
Quote by mutley123456uk
After living together for 4 1/2 years my gf came home on Tuesday and told me she no longer loves me like that anymore and that i am more of a best friend than a boyfiend and that she wants to move on. To make matters worse we finally stopped renting and bought a house of ourselves together only 6 months ago.
I was wondering what advice the guys on here could give me on how to move on from this. Has anyone been through a similar situation.
Any advice would be appriciated.
R.
Quote by Sassy-Seren
I hear ya Robin. Thing is when hubby of 13 years left me it didn't seem to hurt as much as this break up with my mate has. Maybe because me and hubby fell out of love a long time ago and we were just drifting. The break up with my mate came out of the blue and I don't think we'll ever have real closure to it all because he won't talk about it.
Group hug?
:therethere:
Same - when my partner left me the weeks following were total hell (jealousy, anger, ect ect) but I think what hurt the most was not only loosing a partner/lover (even though our sex life was non-existant by that stage) but also the loosing of one of my best friends as well.
Isnt there a saying like "its not the actual person that you miss but its the association with the person"
I think I just made that up but what the hey
:? :? Quote by mutley123456uk
After living together for 4 1/2 years my gf came home on Tuesday and told me she no longer loves me like that anymore and that i am more of a best friend than a boyfiend and that she wants to move on. To make matters worse we finally stopped renting and bought a house of ourselves together only 6 months ago.
I was wondering what advice the guys on here could give me on how to move on from this. Has anyone been through a similar situation.
Any advice would be appriciated.
R.
Sorry to here that hun and i do hope you get over it quickly but these things tend to take time.
on another note hey sorry can't help myself but curiousity did kill the cat didn't it? seriously though if you don't mind me asking but it looks like it came as a shock to you but anyhow did she know you've been a member of a swinging site for the last year and a half and that your bi-curious and if not has she found out without you knowing? sorry for asking but you are registered on here as a single.... ps. tell me to f off if you wan't
Warming the Bed
Some very sage advice in this thread. It always hurts; always that sick feeling in your stomach; always the sense that it doesn't make sense! Do whatever you need to but work towards that black and white stage where you have accepted it is over, even if it means not contacting someone who was your best friend ever, ever again. Easy to say, difficult to do.
Good luck Rob and just think of all the other opportunities that will open up for you now, especially in a place like this!
Good luck Rob and just think of all the other opportunities that will open up for you now, especially in a place like this!
I do so wish you all the best. Emotions aren't always easy to deal with and breaking up with someone you absolutely adore is the pits! No matter how it happens!
Ive always dealt with break ups ok until my last one! We both behaved badly in different ways! Mixed messages dont help situations either!
For my part, I suffer from stress related illnesses, severe depression and as many other's do family illness issues/recent deaths to deal with (all at the same time).... one minute your on a high and the next so low its unbievable. You do and say things that isnt in your character normally. Looking back, I ALLOWED him to effect me, I ALLOWED him to take advantage of certain situations.... yet he must take responsibility for his actions too! I have!! I may never forgive him for his actions/lies/deceet..... and I feel ok about that! It is HIS loss not mine! He also lost a dear friend..... and so did I, my choice I can live with it!
So, althought it hurts now, remember that you are a special person and will be again to someone else!
xanaisx
Ive always dealt with break ups ok until my last one! We both behaved badly in different ways! Mixed messages dont help situations either!
For my part, I suffer from stress related illnesses, severe depression and as many other's do family illness issues/recent deaths to deal with (all at the same time).... one minute your on a high and the next so low its unbievable. You do and say things that isnt in your character normally. Looking back, I ALLOWED him to effect me, I ALLOWED him to take advantage of certain situations.... yet he must take responsibility for his actions too! I have!! I may never forgive him for his actions/lies/deceet..... and I feel ok about that! It is HIS loss not mine! He also lost a dear friend..... and so did I, my choice I can live with it!
So, althought it hurts now, remember that you are a special person and will be again to someone else!
xanaisx
