Oh dear! Swinging Heaven hang your collective heads in shame!
After finishing my poached egg on Toast with wilted sorrel I felt I had to put finger to keypad....
Last night at the Bolton Munch I witnessed sights, which would have even made Bacchus choke on his pint of Blue Nun!
The night began innocently enough as people sat and chatted in a civilised urbane manner, however once the DJ had the played the overtly sexual song: Ohh-Wakka-Doo-Wakka-Day by Gilbert O’sullivan things took a turn for the worst.
I sat open mouthed as I saw one shameless floozy lustfully grab the buttocks of a male member as he bent over to pick up his box of Swan Vesta, which she had purposely knocked off the table. Admittedly, they could have been man and wife but it was the lustful look in her eye, which made it rather indecent.
Things on the dance floor were no better. People were jiving, jitterbugging and one woman was even doing the funky chicken! (Not literally of course, as this would have been too much even for this night of Bacchanalia!)
I saw people kissing more than one person at a time, and some of them were even using ! French kissing in a public place! Sacrebleu!!
One woman, who shall remain nameless, even had the audacity to wink in my general direction. Well, either that or she was sat too close to Mr Swan Vesta man and had a bit of smoke in her even so!
I simply could not believe the antics of a certain ‘regal’ sounding female member of SH. The said strumpet consciously ripped her basque in order to expose even more of her ample busom, and from where I was sat, it certainly was ample! If that wasn’t shocking enough, she then proceeded to change into what can only be descibed as a workman’s tattered overcoat which simply left nothing to the imagination. As I snook under the table to inspect
whether the “lady” was wearing undergarments, I was appaled to discover that she wasn’t!! I then spent several minutes making notes on this was quite diffucult due to the cramped conditions beneath the table, but I felt it my duty to stay and report such behaviour.
As a moral celebate non-swinging swinger I am outraged. The poached egg tasted shite too!
I propose all future Munches should be non-alcohol events and with a strict dress code of his and her boiler suits.
Regards,
Kinky Lizard
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deeply shocked at the Bolton Munch!
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Sex God
Quote by kinkylizard
I propose all future Munches should be non-alcohol events and with a strict dress code of his and her boiler suits
I agree, that boiler suits should sort out the munch behaviour that has been going on of late.
yes but i don't think that will solve the problem with this 'lady'...
she would just keep asking people to get something out of her pocket... :giggle:
And kinky if you thought she was bad at this event... well you should have seen what she got up to at the last one...
People think she is so sweet and innocent.... its her partner I feel sorry for....
she would just keep asking people to get something out of her pocket... :giggle:
And kinky if you thought she was bad at this event... well you should have seen what she got up to at the last one...
People think she is so sweet and innocent.... its her partner I feel sorry for....
Sex God
Quote by Kinky Lizard
.................... proceeded to change into what can only be descibed as a workman’s tattered overcoat ...................
WTF!!! :shock:
:shock: :evil: :shock: :evil: That bloody coats from Next FFS!
You sir, will be hearing from my solicitor (and I don't mean Julie who works the corners. :dry: ).
Everything else people have said is pretty much true though
Sex God
Quote by Calistaroll on the next one .. with your luck (our ours depending on your viewpoint) we'll get a better view
Cx
Next one will definitely be stitched shut.
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: 
Orgasminator
Quote by Calista
Cx
Next one will definitely be stitched shut.
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:spoilsport
Cx
Not if WE bring the needle and thread :twisted:
Quote by Countess
In my defence your honour I believe I was bewitched by Earthy....as everything was fine until she mentioned how nice I looked ....then ping my zip went.
As for ample busom on show at this point ....WHERE were you looking as it was surly not at me :giggle:
god you'll have them shouting burn her next lol
erm it wasnt me honest :twisted:
Quote by Sassy-Seren
I propose all future Munches should be non-alcohol events and with a strict dress code of his and her boiler suits.
Regards,
Kinky Lizard
Or in Abilene's case, someone else's boiler suit
Geeez I wasn't even there!!! Also, are you trying to say I make a habit of changing clothes at munches? Shame on you!!
Quote by Countess
In my defence your honour I believe I was bewitched by Earthy....as everything was fine until she mentioned how nice I looked ....then ping my zip went.
As for ample busom on show at this point ....WHERE were you looking as it was surly not at me :giggle:
Are you suggesting that your busom can barely muster a heave? I beg to differ madam!
T'was a fair cup size from where I was seated! :twisted:
Sex God
i was so deeply shocked at bolton i kept my arse well hinden away and i hardly tarted.....
omg i am shocked at my behavior ;)
Mike
omg i am shocked at my behavior ;)
Mike
