dinner and a kiss only??

24 Sep 2007

ok new to this so need some info on taking it slowly.
would it be acceptable to go out for dinner with a woman and maybe if we got on ony have a bit of a good snog at the end of the night, maybe it could lead to more, but see how the night goes. or is this site about meeting up and just having a darn good time with each others bodies??

24 Sep 2007

Quote by PaperGiant
ok new to this so need some info on taking it slowly.
would it be acceptable to go out for dinner with a woman and maybe if we got on ony have a bit of a good snog at the end of the night, maybe it could lead to more, but see how the night goes. or is this site about meeting up and just having a darn good time with each others bodies??

either senarion works hun just try to get things straight while chatting first this tends to lead to less embaressment later. ie if she only expecting dinner and a social meet and you start to grope you will probably end up with a slap and never hear from her again. best of look with whatever happens tho and most of all just enjoy whatever you get out of a meet be it sex or a snog or just dinner and a chat

24 Sep 2007

Quote by PaperGiant
ok new to this so need some info on taking it slowly.
would it be acceptable to go out for dinner with a woman and maybe if we got on ony have a bit of a good snog at the end of the night, maybe it could lead to more, but see how the night goes. or is this site about meeting up and just having a darn good time with each others bodies??

You've asked similar questions before - what kind of response did you get then?

24 Sep 2007

i think you must be getting me confused with someone else. i dont think ive asked this before....
but thanks to others for advice.

24 Sep 2007

Quote by PaperGiant
i think you must be getting me confused with someone else. i dont think ive asked this before....
but thanks to others for advice.

Did you sort things out with your wife then?
My advice is don't think about it. If the evening is progressing nicely, the kissing etc., will all fall into place and if you genuinely like each other the rest of the evening will pan out how you both want it to. wink

If you're looking for a quick 'shag' while your on a business trip, you'll probably not be very 'lucky' at all.

24 Sep 2007

Quote by PaperGiant
i think you must be getting me confused with someone else. i dont think ive asked this before....
but thanks to others for advice.

I think your past post history says different confused

In edit: how many times can you be new to this?
Louise xx

24 Sep 2007

Quote by PaperGiant
i think you must be getting me confused with someone else. i dont think ive asked this before....
but thanks to others for advice.

Oh - my apologies, maybe not the exact question. Just the 'want advice - is this the right thing to do, are you in the right place for 'namby pamby stuff':

Quote by On Thu Apr 6, 2006 10:18 am PaperGiant
Dear SH members,
I have a dilema and wonder if i shoul dbe here.
I am a good looking married guy of 33. however, we are missing that certain zing in the bedroom and i have a need my wife is unable to satisfy.
I havent been with loads of women (although ive had my share!), and am loking to branch out a bit. so i was wondering if this was the rigght place??
My wife has said she's not interested in swinging so what do i do?
this is a 'liberal' site apparentlyso is it the sort of place where i could find someone to share some clean NSA adult fun??
Thanks,
PG

Quote by On Fri Aug 4, 2006 1:05 pm PaperGiant
....or at least just to taste another woman!
However as im new to this im a little bit worried....worried about what sort of people im likely to meet if i do go through with this....
Are you all freaks?? lol - only kidding im here arent i??
And i am i liable to 'pick something nasty up'?
Tostart i would just like t maybe watch a couple and maybe join in if it felt right with no pressure.
Do people on here do that sort of thing or is that a bit mamby pamby?
Help please????
PG

In edit: Sara_2006 made some good points too. Good luck.
Welcome Newbie wave

24 Sep 2007

ok ok im sorry...
Im not that new.
didnt mean to insult your intelligence. i just wouldnt mind meeting up witha woman, and not sure of the best way to go about it. now i feel a bit stupid. serious slap on the writs administered to myself!

24 Sep 2007

Quote by PaperGiant
ok ok im sorry...
Im not that new.
didnt mean to insult your intelligence. i just wouldnt mind meeting up witha woman, and not sure of the best way to go about it. now i feel a bit stupid. serious slap on the writs administered to myself!

:thumbup:
You've already advertised in LMU anyway. That's the place to advertise for meets, as you know by now.

24 Sep 2007

Quote by PaperGiant
ok ok im sorry...
Im not that new.
didnt mean to insult your intelligence. i just wouldnt mind meeting up witha woman, and not sure of the best way to go about it. now i feel a bit stupid. serious slap on the writs administered to myself!

Lying is never a good way to get to meet a woman. Although now you have seen the error of your ways, maybe some advice will be given to you :lol:
Have you tried going to any social meets?
Louise xx

24 Sep 2007

nothing gets passed you bunch of smart arses does it?????

24 Sep 2007

Quote by DeeCee
nothing gets passed you bunch of smart arses does it?????

PMs help to catch people out though too.

24 Sep 2007

Quote by Freckledbird
nothing gets passed you bunch of smart arses does it?????

PMs help to catch people out though too.
oh i get it.........
post and be damned...
PM and be damned at will, without mercy, unbeknown to you!!!!
frightening...... :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

24 Sep 2007

I have met a few ladies on here and my only intention is Dinner and a chat not even a goodnight kiss.
Sometimes it leads to more but I don't travel hundreds of miles expecting more.
Treat a lady with manners, respect and humour and you won't go far wrong.
And always expect the unexpected but don't count on it wink

woo

24 Sep 2007

Well best advise I can give is post an ad looking for a dinner companion and see how you get on. biggrin

There’s no point posting for advice on here as you’ve probably noticed. Personally I will answer as I see fit and don’t worry if its been asked before.
It only takes a few seconds to type a reply but others would rather spend longer checking all there previous posts, then start quoting on them, even if it has nothing do do with the question at hand, it then leads to the person having to defend themselves, and while this is all happening the original question still goes unanswered.
And good luck whatever happens. lol

24 Sep 2007

Quote by solofun
Well best advise I can give is post an ad looking for a dinner companion and see how you get on.
There’s no point posting for advice on here as you’ve probably noticed. Personally I will answer as I see fit and don’t worry if its been asked before.
It only takes a few seconds to type a reply but others would rather spend longer checking all there previous posts, then start quoting on them, even if it has nothing do do with the question at hand, it then leads to the person having to defend themselves, and while this is all happening the original question still goes unanswered.
And good luck whatever happens.

Yep, Pg - good job you didn't ask about where Cds/TVs should advertise!

24 Sep 2007

Hello Papergiant :smile:
I think they are women who would meet for those purposes. Depending how you got on during the evening it may progress to more, you dont know really. Depends on the person, situation and how well you get on together and the agreement on what/how that dinner was to progress etc.
Woohoo and Solofun gave some good advice.
If I was meeting someone, I wouldnt want anyone to have expections of me, and that would be returned. But thats me...... were all different. I would feel uncomfortable if a guy turned up with expectations not agreed on beforehand. I would make a quick escape into the sunset....
I have had *dates* where guys have turned up thinking Oi Oi, gonna get my end away tonight, made it obvious or started groping within two minutes of meeting! It doesnt work that way me thinks!
Good luck whatever you do :smile:
xanaisx

24 Sep 2007

Quote by Freckledbird
Well best advise I can give is post an ad looking for a dinner companion and see how you get on.
There’s no point posting for advice on here as you’ve probably noticed. Personally I will answer as I see fit and don’t worry if its been asked before.
It only takes a few seconds to type a reply but others would rather spend longer checking all there previous posts, then start quoting on them, even if it has nothing do do with the question at hand, it then leads to the person having to defend themselves, and while this is all happening the original question still goes unanswered.
And good luck whatever happens.

Yep, Pg - good job you didn't ask about where Cds/TVs should advertise!
Thats easy, in the "Items for sale" section. Unless of course you mean MEN

24 Sep 2007

Quote by solofun
Well best advise I can give is post an ad looking for a dinner companion and see how you get on.
or try a dating site... this is a swinging site isnt it??? Also not every meet is going to end up in a definate sexual encounter...things just arent like that.
There’s no point posting for advice on here as you’ve probably noticed.
i think there is... many do!!its the point of the forum

Personally I will answer as I see fit and don’t worry if its been asked before.
thats a little silly isnt it?.. the saved threads are there to provide some sort of reference point... many of those old threads have decent informative replies. do you not worry that you might come accross as a bit of a numpty if youre asking questions that others have?
It only takes a few seconds to type a reply but others would rather spend longer checking all there previous posts, then start quoting on them, even if it has nothing do do with the question at hand, it then leads to the person having to defend themselves, and while this is all happening the original question still goes unanswered.
that sounds like the opinion of someone who feels a little aggrieved at that happening to them. it goes with the territory. perhaps the person who does this is infact pointing out that , with a little research, the answers are already there for isnt it? its nothing doesnt take a second to type out a reply.... sometimes they take much longer. its quicker to point someone in the right direction and say "have a look here.... its been dealt with. also, when people are responding, they often like to see a persons previous posts to help with their reply as sometimes information is given that can assist. are you expecting people to ignore blatantly inconsistent/stupid/unnecessary questions when they have taken the time to think about a reply???
And good luck whatever happens.

24 Sep 2007

Quote by DeeCee
Well best advise I can give is post an ad looking for a dinner companion and see how you get on.
or try a dating site... this is a swinging site isnt it??? Also not every meet is going to end up in a definate sexual encounter...things just arent like that.

From a personal point of view, I think dating is where the majority of members are looking for progression from that date/looking for more/some form of commitment/a long term relationship etc And not every *date* is going to end up as a sexual encounter, same as swinging.
Why should a married man join a dating site? (Lets not go their, one of my bugbites lol

)
Why cant someone from here meet up for dinner first an see how they get on??? Especially if its someone reasonably new to *meeting* people (Im not on about the length of there member....ship! :lol: :lol smile

If I was going to swing, I would feel quite comfortable as a newbie to swinging meeting on the above first...:smile:

24 Sep 2007

Quote by anais
Well best advise I can give is post an ad looking for a dinner companion and see how you get on.
or try a dating site... this is a swinging site isnt it??? Also not every meet is going to end up in a definate sexual encounter...things just arent like that.

From a personal point of view, I think dating is where the majority of members are looking for progression from that date/looking for more/some form of commitment/a long term relationship etc And not every *date* is going to end up as a sexual encounter, same as swinging.
Why should a married man join a dating site? (Lets not go their, one of my bugbites lol

)
Why cant someone from here meet up for dinner first an see how they get on??? Especially if its someone reasonably new to *meeting* people (Im not on about the length of there member....ship! :lol: :lol smile

If I was going to swing, I would feel quite comfortable as a newbie to swinging meeting on the above first...:smile:
i see what you mean......
on that basis... maybe it is better off to put an ad that says the advertiser wants to take it slowly rather than use a dating site.
i think much could also depend on the reason for wanting to take it slow though....
personally i favour the "confident but understanding " approach at all times even if maybe you are a little nervous inside

24 Sep 2007

@ DeeCee
and still no answer to the original post.
your right, it is a forum, and as you rightly say, a place to ask for advice, but as you've just demonstrated yourself, its now become a place where people would rather judge others or pick out snipets from peoples posts rather than give an answer to the question asked. It happens that often now that it has now become the norm when posting on here. People that join these forums and read them regulary thinks thats the way to post nowadays as thats what everyone seems to do now.
And for the record, not that i should need to explain myself to anyone, my opinion is NOT aggrieved nor based on something that has happened to me, its solely based on what i see far to often in threads on these boards.
Anyway it would be nice to see this go back on topic and people giving their opinion on the question asked.
@ PaperGiant
sorry for taking it a little off topic, but like i said on my original post people have to defend what they write in posts because of people picking things out rather than answer the question at hand.

24 Sep 2007

Quote by PaperGiant
ok ok im sorry...
Im not that new.
didnt mean to insult your intelligence. i just wouldnt mind meeting up witha woman, and not sure of the best way to go about it. now i feel a bit stupid. serious slap on the writs administered to myself!

You didn't insult my intelligence - I knew you were fibbing a little because I looked at your profile and post history. Something that lots of us do, to get a 'feel' for a person before they answer. I answered your question, based on the fact that you've asked similar questions before and you obviously know how to place ads and meet-up requests. biggrin

24 Sep 2007

Quote by DeeCee
Well best advise I can give is post an ad looking for a dinner companion and see how you get on.
or try a dating site... this is a swinging site isnt it??? Also not every meet is going to end up in a definate sexual encounter...things just arent like that.

From a personal point of view, I think dating is where the majority of members are looking for progression from that date/looking for more/some form of commitment/a long term relationship etc And not every *date* is going to end up as a sexual encounter, same as swinging.
Why should a married man join a dating site? (Lets not go their, one of my bugbites lol

)
Why cant someone from here meet up for dinner first an see how they get on??? Especially if its someone reasonably new to *meeting* people (Im not on about the length of there member....ship! :lol: :lol smile

If I was going to swing, I would feel quite comfortable as a newbie to swinging meeting on the above first...:smile:
i see what you mean......
on that basis... maybe it is better off to put an ad that says the advertiser wants to take it slowly rather than use a dating site.
i think much could also depend on the reason for wanting to take it slow though....
personally i favour the "confident but understanding " approach at all times even if maybe you are a little nervous inside
If a married man put an advert on a dating site for a dinner campanion, I wouldnt see a problem with that either... just to make myself clear. But members then would know its not going to go anywhere.... fair enough.
I think there are a lot of nervous newbies (singles/couples)to *swinging* for whatever reason. We dont have to know that reason for wanting to take it slow really?? Might be personal to that member and only disclosed to the potential person they might meet??
If I was a married woman joined for three months for example. Thinking that the concept of swinging sounded just for me but I still have some doubts. The above also might apply... would give me an opportunity to chat in a relaxed atmosphere with someone who perhaps could be in the same circumstances as I am. Maybe its that meet that takes it one step nearer for both? Or could be the end of a membership cos it isnt suited to my needs/ideals...
Phew.......I have brain ache now, it hasnt done any thinking for a while and it hurts :lol: :lol: :lol:
xanaisx

24 Sep 2007

Quote by solofun
tut tut
and still no answer to the original post.
your right, it is a forum, and as you rightly say, a place to ask for advice, but as you've just demonstrated yourself, its now become a place where people would rather judge others or pick out snipets from peoples posts rather than give an answer to the question asked.
And for the record, not that i should need to explain myself to anyone, my opinion is NOT aggrieved nor based on something that has happened to me, its solely based on what i see far to often in threads on these boards.
Anyway it would be nice to see this go back on topic and people giving their opinion on the question answered.
@ PaperGiant
sorry for taking it a little off topic, but like i said on my original post people have to defend what they write in posts because of people picking things out rather than answer the question at hand.

solo.... maybe u need to have a re-read of the thread
:small-print:
there has been plenty of answers to the post :small-print:
ok... so some wondered why the thread was started and questioned the poster as to his motives based on previous posts...
no need to have a pop at me fella....i didnt pull PG up over anything.....
you sound very angry to me...... relax.......your sweeping statements and generalisations are turning the thread into exactly what you propose the forum shouldnt be......

24 Sep 2007

Quote by woohoo
I have met a few ladies on here and my only intention is Dinner and a chat not even a goodnight kiss.
Sometimes it leads to more but I don't travel hundreds of miles expecting more.
Treat a lady with manners, respect and humour and you won't go far wrong.
And always expect the unexpected but don't count on it
woo

Cant fault good advice like this :thumbup:
We as a couple have gone out on purely dinner/drink dates with other couples/singles as we believe for us in most cases meets start just socially with no expected sexual outcomes. At least this takes the tension out of the sexual expectation and allows both parties to have a good think in the cold light of day.
I'm not saying that this is the case everytime but its the norm for Lost. Its not the right or wrong way it's just how we have come to feel the most comfortable.
Parties and clubs are all told a different experience as in this case we are expecting full on sex type experiences from the outset. Again though, it's not a guarantee it happens I suppose. Hasn't yet though.
Good luck. And as has already been said. Enjoy your times with the opposite regardless of the outcome.

24 Sep 2007

ok guys,
last thing i wanted to do was start any arguments or cause any friction. apologies if this thread had rubbed some people up the wrong way
i am aware this is a swinging site, thats why im looking here, and yes to go for dinner and then be luckiy enough to hit it off enough that it ends up back in the bedroom would be great. But sometimes when you meet someone it doesnt always go like that, and just wondered if people would be pissed off if after arranging to go out it doesnt go all the way.
It could be that you dont get on in reality, it could be that theres no spark, but sometimes you might just be a bit cautios, and want to get to know someone a bit better befroe jumping between the sheets. Other times it may be instantaneous and yuo just want to put your hands everywhere with a person, but i was just curious if once you made the arrangement to meet up if a person would be pissed off if it didnt go all the way later.
I think the answer is everyone is different - and you need to play each situation as you see it.
Now lets all get on...and have a love in!!!

24 Sep 2007

Quote by PaperGiant
Now lets all get on...and have a love in!!!

Nah your alright....i'm washing my hair! wink

24 Sep 2007

Quote by Mr-Powers
Now lets all get on...and have a love in!!!

Nah your alright....i'm washing my hair! wink

thats my excuse to get out of a date :lol2: :lol2:
PS PG, write yourself and ad, make sure its in the right section etc..... see what happens! I dont think anyone will knock you (or shouldnt) if your clear from the begining....
Good luck
xanaisx

24 Sep 2007

Quote by PaperGiant
......... but I was just curious if once you made the arrangement to meet up if a person would be pissed off if it didn't go all the way later.

I would suggest that 'no guaranteed play, first date' is a rule of thumb which more rather than less go by. Whether that be singles meeting couples or singles meeting singles.
So with that as the backdrop, and of course the right of any party just to say 'not tonight, thanks', there should be no reason for anyone to feel 'pissed off'.