Sex God
can someone give me some tips on how to talk drity as the other half (Mr Northeast) has asked me do it but don't know were to start and go shy when I try
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Dirty talk
Sex God
Quote by BigDanny12999
Easy, just look around you....
"look at the cobwebs on that cieling"
"Look at the pile of your clothes on the floor"
"Why is there clinkers hanging on to the side of the toilet?!"
etc. :P
lol.. have u been in my house
As this is my job I felt I had to give you some tips......LoL
Try describing a blowjob in detail and do what you're saying as you say it.....for example, tell him you're going to take his cock in your hand and then tell him your now going to lick the end of his big hard cock.
When you're actually fucking, try things like:
"God yes fuck me harder"
"You feel so good, all hot and hard inside me"
"I want you to push all the way inside me"
Try describing a blowjob in detail and do what you're saying as you say it.....for example, tell him you're going to take his cock in your hand and then tell him your now going to lick the end of his big hard cock.
When you're actually fucking, try things like:
"God yes fuck me harder"
"You feel so good, all hot and hard inside me"
"I want you to push all the way inside me"
Oh I wish I could do dirty talk, I've tried and I'm bluddy rubbish at it 
Thing is, cos it's saucy words I think I'm talking louder than what I am, so when I think I'm saying
Come ere and fuck me with your love rocket you stud muffin :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :bounce: :bounce:
It actually comes out slightly more of a mumbled comeereandfuckmewithyourloverocketstudmuffin :uhoh:
Then they say "what?" :shock:
Then I say, ummmm nothing :uhoh:
Then they say, "no no say it again, what did you say"
And I end up all embarrassed and saying something stupid like "can you put yer willy in me lou lou please" 
ops: :oops: 
:roll: :uhoh:
Thing is, cos it's saucy words I think I'm talking louder than what I am, so when I think I'm saying
Come ere and fuck me with your love rocket you stud muffin :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :bounce: :bounce:
It actually comes out slightly more of a mumbled comeereandfuckmewithyourloverocketstudmuffin :uhoh:
Then they say "what?" :shock:
Then I say, ummmm nothing :uhoh:
Then they say, "no no say it again, what did you say"
And I end up all embarrassed and saying something stupid like "can you put yer willy in me lou lou please"
ops: :oops: :roll: :uhoh: Quote by MISSCHIEF
And I end up all embarrassed and saying something stupid like "can you put yer willy in me lou lou please"
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:Dirty talk..........I am bloody useless, can't do it to save my life. Far too embarrassed :oops:
Sex God
Quote by MISSCHIEF
Oh I wish I could do dirty talk, I've tried and I'm bluddy rubbish at it
Thing is, cos it's saucy words I think I'm talking louder than what I am, so when I think I'm saying
Come ere and fuck me with your love rocket you stud muffin :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :bounce: :bounce:
It actually comes out slightly more of a mumbled comeereandfuckmewithyourloverocketstudmuffin :uhoh:
Then they say "what?" :shock:
Then I say, ummmm nothing :uhoh:
Then they say, "no no say it again, what did you say"
And I end up all embarrassed and saying something stupid like "can you put yer willy in me lou lou please"
yep what you said thats the same as me :oops:
Quote by MISSCHIEF
Oh I wish I could do dirty talk, I've tried and I'm bluddy rubbish at it
Thing is, cos it's saucy words I think I'm talking louder than what I am, so when I think I'm saying
Come ere and fuck me with your love rocket you stud muffin :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :bounce: :bounce:
It actually comes out slightly more of a mumbled comeereandfuckmewithyourloverocketstudmuffin :uhoh:
Then they say "what?" :shock:
Then I say, ummmm nothing :uhoh:
Then they say, "no no say it again, what did you say"
And I end up all embarrassed and saying something stupid like "can you put yer willy in me lou lou please"
PMSL!!! :haha:
Ahhhh thats the funniest thing I've heard in ages! :P
Awwww have a hug honey :therethere:
xx
Dirty talk is easy once you get the hang of it.
Thing is, you do need to know what sort/ level of dirty talk your partner might like.
He may want to hear the softer "fuck me harder baby" as apposed to the "oh yes... fuck me like a dirty whore daddy." You need to know.
Generally I find anything them bitches are squealing in the blues are the same lines that do the trick when talking dirty.
Thing is, you do need to know what sort/ level of dirty talk your partner might like.
He may want to hear the softer "fuck me harder baby" as apposed to the "oh yes... fuck me like a dirty whore daddy." You need to know.
Generally I find anything them bitches are squealing in the blues are the same lines that do the trick when talking dirty.
Hi sexy........... what can i do for you tonight Hey (slip ya bra strap off at this time)
OK big boy lets slowly see you strip off for me mmmmmmmmmmmmmm thats nice Good boy!............... STOP! ( thats what you say just before he gets his cock out)........ now i want you to slowly rub it up and down for me mmmmmmmmmmm thats nice! ( Baby oil time)...........nice lets see that cock of yours mmmmmmmmm thats nice let me trickle some of this oil all over your cock so it will slid in easy when you push it hard into my pussy mmm thats it slowly rub it in yes! ( then you slowly undress feeling your boobs etc )
ooo i do love watching you slid that cock inbeween your hands ......... stand to the side so i can see the whole lenth!!............ mmmmm
Mmm you want me to slide your cock in between my tits hay?...... get down on the floor NOW!!.........now slowly slid your cock in between my tits mmm nice ooo ia aim so going to suck that cock..and flick my tongue around the end ........................
Etc etc
thats it Debs got to go get her vib again!!!
OK big boy lets slowly see you strip off for me mmmmmmmmmmmmmm thats nice Good boy!............... STOP! ( thats what you say just before he gets his cock out)........ now i want you to slowly rub it up and down for me mmmmmmmmmmm thats nice! ( Baby oil time)...........nice lets see that cock of yours mmmmmmmmm thats nice let me trickle some of this oil all over your cock so it will slid in easy when you push it hard into my pussy mmm thats it slowly rub it in yes! ( then you slowly undress feeling your boobs etc )
ooo i do love watching you slid that cock inbeween your hands ......... stand to the side so i can see the whole lenth!!............ mmmmm
Mmm you want me to slide your cock in between my tits hay?...... get down on the floor NOW!!.........now slowly slid your cock in between my tits mmm nice ooo ia aim so going to suck that cock..and flick my tongue around the end ........................
Etc etc
thats it Debs got to go get her vib again!!!
Quote by Debbiewebs
Hi sexy........... what can i do for you tonight Hey (slip ya bra strap off at this time)
OK big boy lets slowly see you strip off for me mmmmmmmmmmmmmm thats nice Good boy!............... STOP! ( thats what you say just before he gets his cock out)........ now i want you to slowly rub it up and down for me mmmmmmmmmmm thats nice! ( Baby oil time)...........nice lets see that cock of yours mmmmmmmmm thats nice let me trickle some of this oil all over your cock so it will slid in easy when you push it hard into my pussy mmm thats it slowly rub it in yes! ( then you slowly undress feeling your boobs etc )
ooo i do love watching you slid that cock inbeween your hands ......... stand to the side so i can see the whole lenth!!............ mmmmm
Mmm you want me to slide your cock in between my tits hay?...... get down on the floor NOW!!.........now slowly slid your cock in between my tits mmm nice ooo ia aim so going to suck that cock..and flick my tongue around the end ........................
Etc etc
thats it Debs got to go get her vib again!!!
Omg.... I'm seriously impressed Debbiewebs...........
equi-princess xxx
Sex God
woah!!!!...........mrs davej yaks away too much already and now it's reckoned to be a good idea to have her talk to me when I'm bodgering the badger :shock: ..............no thank you!
Sex God
well tryed to say to Mr northeast mmmmmmmmm lie down and am going to take that big cock in my mouth and he said "my mouth my mouth did u just say that " well it killed the moment for me needles to say he still got his suck off lol...
Sexpert
Quote by MISSCHIEF
Oh I wish I could do dirty talk, I've tried and I'm bluddy rubbish at it
Thing is, cos it's saucy words I think I'm talking louder than what I am, so when I think I'm saying
Come ere and fuck me with your love rocket you stud muffin :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :bounce: :bounce:
It actually comes out slightly more of a mumbled comeereandfuckmewithyourloverocketstudmuffin :uhoh:
Then they say "what?" :shock:
Then I say, ummmm nothing :uhoh:
Then they say, "no no say it again, what did you say"
And I end up all embarrassed and saying something stupid like "can you put yer willy in me lou lou please"
OMG pmsl , you owe me a jack daniels and coke hun , good thing the keyboards waterproof roflmfao
then again you talk like that all you want love , something to be said for cute instead of horny
matt and crystal (you get to guess which
)xxxxx
Quote by MISSCHIEF
Oh I wish I could do dirty talk, I've tried and I'm bluddy rubbish at it
Thing is, cos it's saucy words I think I'm talking louder than what I am, so when I think I'm saying
Come ere and fuck me with your love rocket you stud muffin :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :bounce: :bounce:
It actually comes out slightly more of a mumbled comeereandfuckmewithyourloverocketstudmuffin :uhoh:
Then they say "what?" :shock:
Then I say, ummmm nothing :uhoh:
Then they say, "no no say it again, what did you say"
And I end up all embarrassed and saying something stupid like "can you put yer willy in me lou lou please"
Misschief it took me 5 mins before I could even think about typing, havn't laughed like that for a long time, cheers babe.
Sex God
Quote by MISSCHIEF
Oh I wish I could do dirty talk, I've tried and I'm bluddy rubbish at it
Thing is, cos it's saucy words I think I'm talking louder than what I am, so when I think I'm saying
Come ere and fuck me with your love rocket you stud muffin :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :bounce: :bounce:
It actually comes out slightly more of a mumbled comeereandfuckmewithyourloverocketstudmuffin :uhoh:
Then they say "what?" :shock:
Then I say, ummmm nothing :uhoh:
Then they say, "no no say it again, what did you say"
And I end up all embarrassed and saying something stupid like "can you put yer willy in me lou lou please"
Quote by MISSCHIEF
And I end up all embarrassed and saying something stupid like "can you put yer willy in me lou lou please"
Oh man, that honestly made me laugh out loud.. Cracking stuff!
I just canna be doing with the dirty talk when I'm with a lassie. Not because I don't enjoy, hell it makes me horny as a stoat! No, it's just that as soon as a woman says 'F*ck me' or something similar, my brain decides to release the safety on the old porridge shotgun and unload both barrels..
Which can be helluva embarrassing when you've only been at it for a couple of minutes!
"Erm, sorry.. This normally never happens to me."
Doesn't really do my self esteem any good. :lol:
Quote by Debbiewebs
Hi sexy........... what can i do for you tonight Hey (slip ya bra strap off at this time)
OK big boy lets slowly see you strip off for me mmmmmmmmmmmmmm thats nice Good boy!............... STOP! ( thats what you say just before he gets his cock out)........ now i want you to slowly rub it up and down for me mmmmmmmmmmm thats nice! ( Baby oil time)...........nice lets see that cock of yours mmmmmmmmm thats nice let me trickle some of this oil all over your cock so it will slid in easy when you push it hard into my pussy mmm thats it slowly rub it in yes! ( then you slowly undress feeling your boobs etc )
ooo i do love watching you slid that cock inbeween your hands ......... stand to the side so i can see the whole lenth!!............ mmmmm
Mmm you want me to slide your cock in between my tits hay?...... get down on the floor NOW!!.........now slowly slid your cock in between my tits mmm nice ooo ia aim so going to suck that cock..and flick my tongue around the end ........................
Etc etc
thats it Debs got to go get her vib again!!!
Debs .............. WANNA JOB!!!
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Quote by northeastcoupleuk
can someone give me some tips on how to talk drity as the other half (Mr Northeast) has asked me do it but don't know were to start and go shy when I try
Just get really filthy....think of the most dirtiest thoughts of how you want to be nailed...
...I would like to tell you to be in control but sometimes that's a two way thing...but if you want to start talkin then you have to be th'one who know what you want...I felt well stupid the first few times that i said a few raunchy things but hat ws coz I wasn't sure if it went down well...but then he started talkin back, that helps....ALOT...n then I felt ready n that I could take th'lead on it n really rinse how I want him to........"lick me...not like that...push you tongue furtherin let me feel how warm that is"....let him do it....take your time...enjoy n then tell him to push his fingers in as many or as lil as you want....I guess if your just startin out lil things like this may be better than....down n out "Fuck me harder!!!!"
Give it a go...fingers X'd.....mmmmmh...then again lol
