when i see that on a profile i think several things...
this is only based on my experience and not to say everyone i mention is like this ...
ok i work in a job that if i were to be outed as a swinger i would lose my job, and if i didnt lose my job i would probally have to leave it.
say what you like people who are not aware of swinging do judge it and those connected to it.
yes you could argue the toss if they sacked you, but i would still hate having to have people talk about me.
i have met people who are long term unemployed and they have no working reputation to protect. they actually woudl get a kick out of pointing you out and saying see her well shes a swinger.
they dont care if anyone knows they are a swinger, its a badge of honner.
ok i know this can be the attitude of anyone, but i have found that if someone has as much to risk as you by being outed then they will keep quiet.
another thing, swinging to me is more about sex, its about having conversation etc, i like this to be on an equal level of interest. im not saying long term unemployed wouldnt have good conversation, but in my experience i have found myself frustrated.
i also think some people really only wish to meet men who have soft hands etc and maybe manual workers dont have this.
BUT.... at the end of the day everyone is allowed to put what they want in their profile AUP permitting.
if someone who consideres them self professional is not your bag, then dont contact them.
sorry bit of a ramble.
xx fem xx
edited as i seem to have typing deylexia so hope fully most errors have been corrected.
Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
discretion required because of my professional job
Quote by Dirtygirly
This thread is amking my contribution look really sensible
This one?
Quote by awayman
Is there maybe a difference between discretion being needed because of your job (you're a teacher, or a childcare worker, or a police officer, or a social worker) and discretion beign needed because you fear your clients may not employ or pay you if they find out you like a shag with strangers?
I don't think there's any difference. I think discretion should be taken for granted, regardless of the job someone does. I would no more consider being indiscreet whether a person was the prime minister or a street cleaner.
I exercise discretion all the time.
To put it another way. In one job it might be considered news worthy by the shitbag press if my sexuality became public. In another job it might just be embarrassing, with potential side effects. I think that's different.
It's not you know... discretion is discretion. Regardless of what job you are in, the shitbag who made it public is still a shitbag! :mrgreen:
You're right, I think we're a bit at cross purposes, and it might be me, I'm really not sure...
but I do think there's a differnece between needing discretion because it might be embarassing, and needing discretion because it could be employment terminal...
slightly off topic but i wondered how someone can be sacked from their job if it was found out they were a swinger ?
yes i can understand that it could be embarresing(sp?) and maybe akward but im not sure on what grounds anyone could be sacked ?
if someone was caught dogging then thats different because you can be put on the sex offenders list so therefore you would be sacked from some jobs because of that.
yes i can understand that it could be embarresing(sp?) and maybe akward but im not sure on what grounds anyone could be sacked ?
if someone was caught dogging then thats different because you can be put on the sex offenders list so therefore you would be sacked from some jobs because of that.
Master of Sex
I'm sorry but I fail to understand why being a swinger would get you the sack from your job.
Being a swinger doesn't change how you do your job or suddenly make you any less competant should your lifestyle become known. That whole attitude says more about society's general attitude to sex and swinging than it does about anything else. Despite it being the 21st century a lot of people are still stuck with the Victorian attitude towards sex. Companies cannot discriminate against gays or lesbians, so why should they be able to get away with it with swingers?
As for the original question about "Professionals", My opinion is that it smacks of snobbery. Profiles aren't allowed to say "we will not meet with Daz & Shaz from the local council estate. We're only interested in meeting other well-to-do, middle class couples". So, they use the "professional" thing as a sort of filter.
Being a swinger doesn't change how you do your job or suddenly make you any less competant should your lifestyle become known. That whole attitude says more about society's general attitude to sex and swinging than it does about anything else. Despite it being the 21st century a lot of people are still stuck with the Victorian attitude towards sex. Companies cannot discriminate against gays or lesbians, so why should they be able to get away with it with swingers?
As for the original question about "Professionals", My opinion is that it smacks of snobbery. Profiles aren't allowed to say "we will not meet with Daz & Shaz from the local council estate. We're only interested in meeting other well-to-do, middle class couples". So, they use the "professional" thing as a sort of filter.
Sex God
I still dont understand that if someone thinks their employment may be made difficult if they were outed how putting professional on a profile helps 
I would still think your employment status would be best left totally unmentioned. Why draw attention to it?
Seems we done a pretty good job of debating professional on a profile. Seems it means a lot of things to a lot of different people so putting it is going to have a very mixed bag of results.
I would still think your employment status would be best left totally unmentioned. Why draw attention to it? Seems we done a pretty good job of debating professional on a profile. Seems it means a lot of things to a lot of different people so putting it is going to have a very mixed bag of results.
Sex God
Whether we feel it is right or not, employers these days scrutinise their employees "lifestyles" more closely than ever before, so nobody identified publicly as a swinger should feel that they are immune from being sacked, especially if they work with children or young people. It's not that long ago that a young woman who was a youth worker was sacked by the local authority which employed her because her nude pic was published in the "readers' wives" section of a girlie mag.
Sex God
Quote by MikeNorth
Whether we feel it is right or not, employers these days scrutinise their employees "lifestyles" more closely than ever before, so nobody identified publicly as a swinger should feel that they are immune from being sacked, especially if they work with children or young people. It's not that long ago that a young woman who was a youth worker was sacked by the local authority which employed her because her nude pic was published in the "readers' wives" section of a girlie mag.
I think a nude pic is a totally different situation. What someones sexual interests are behind closed doors should not effect your employment position. No doubt employers can make your life hard like always overlooking you for promotion or trying to ease you out or sideways. I do think though if you were officially sacked for being a swinger you would have a very good chance of winning an employment tribunal.
Quote by tweeky
Whether we feel it is right or not, employers these days scrutinise their employees "lifestyles" more closely than ever before, so nobody identified publicly as a swinger should feel that they are immune from being sacked, especially if they work with children or young people. It's not that long ago that a young woman who was a youth worker was sacked by the local authority which employed her because her nude pic was published in the "readers' wives" section of a girlie mag.
I think a nude pic is a totally different situation. What someones sexual interests are behind closed doors should not effect your employment position. No doubt employers can make your life hard like always overlooking you for promotion or trying to ease you out or sideways. I do think though if you were officially sacked for being a swinger you would have a very good chance of winning an employment tribunal.
if you're a senior residential care worker in a childrens home?
Master of Sex
Quote by awayman
Whether we feel it is right or not, employers these days scrutinise their employees "lifestyles" more closely than ever before, so nobody identified publicly as a swinger should feel that they are immune from being sacked, especially if they work with children or young people. It's not that long ago that a young woman who was a youth worker was sacked by the local authority which employed her because her nude pic was published in the "readers' wives" section of a girlie mag.
I think a nude pic is a totally different situation. What someones sexual interests are behind closed doors should not effect your employment position. No doubt employers can make your life hard like always overlooking you for promotion or trying to ease you out or sideways. I do think though if you were officially sacked for being a swinger you would have a very good chance of winning an employment tribunal.
if you're a senior residential care worker in a childrens home?
Am I understanding you right? You seem to be saying that swinging is just a step away from ? Swinging takes place between consenting adults. Working in a children's home is completely irrelevant. The only way it should matter is if your job is with the clergy or a politician and you're preaching abstinence or the evils of sex outside of marriage.
Sex God
Quote by Dave_Desert229
Whether we feel it is right or not, employers these days scrutinise their employees "lifestyles" more closely than ever before, so nobody identified publicly as a swinger should feel that they are immune from being sacked, especially if they work with children or young people. It's not that long ago that a young woman who was a youth worker was sacked by the local authority which employed her because her nude pic was published in the "readers' wives" section of a girlie mag.
I think a nude pic is a totally different situation. What someones sexual interests are behind closed doors should not effect your employment position. No doubt employers can make your life hard like always overlooking you for promotion or trying to ease you out or sideways. I do think though if you were officially sacked for being a swinger you would have a very good chance of winning an employment tribunal.
if you're a senior residential care worker in a childrens home?
Am I understanding you right? You seem to be saying that swinging is just a step away from ? Swinging takes place between consenting adults. The only way it should matter is if your job is with the clergy or a politician and you're preaching abstinence or the evils of sex outside of marriage.
Yeh I dont get it either. You cant manage a children's home if your a swinger because ......... please end that sentence. Your not involving the children in swinging so what does it matter. What if you are gay? might you make the children gay?
I personally think it has more to do with peoples preconceptions and incorrect perceived ideas about what swinging is.
When it came out at work that we were swingers, we've had gimp masks comments and shag anything and everything comments.
Unless you are a swinger, the opinion of swingers is often poor and twisted from the truth
When it came out at work that we were swingers, we've had gimp masks comments and shag anything and everything comments.
Unless you are a swinger, the opinion of swingers is often poor and twisted from the truth
Master of Sex
Quote by Dawnie
I personally think it has more to do with peoples preconceptions and incorrect perceived ideas about what swinging is.
When it came out at work that we were swingers, we've had gimp masks comments and shag anything and everything comments.
Unless you are a swinger, the opinion of swingers is often poor and twisted from the truth
There's a lot of truth in this.
Most 'vanilla' people's ideas about swinging come from the salacious exposés in the Sunday tabloids. A lot believe it's all car keys in a punchbowl and suchlike.
Quote by Garfield1
slightly off topic but i wondered how someone can be sacked from their job if it was found out they were a swinger ?
yes i can understand that it could be embarresing(sp?) and maybe akward but im not sure on what grounds anyone could be sacked ?
if someone was caught dogging then thats different because you can be put on the sex offenders list so therefore you would be sacked from some jobs because of that.
Because some people in order to do their job have to be on a professional register and have a PIN number and if they are found to be on here could be subject to a fitness to practise hearing and consequently lose that said PIN which would mean they would lose their job
My point precisely.
Sex God
Quote by Garfield1
slightly off topic but i wondered how someone can be sacked from their job if it was found out they were a swinger ?
yes i can understand that it could be embarresing(sp?) and maybe akward but im not sure on what grounds anyone could be sacked ?
if someone was caught dogging then thats different because you can be put on the sex offenders list so therefore you would be sacked from some jobs because of that.
Because some people in order to do their job have to be on a professional register and have a PIN number and if they are found to be on here could be subject to a fitness to practise hearing and consequently lose that said PIN which would mean they would lose their job
How can being a swinger, mean that you are unfit to do any job? Whether you need a PIN or not, or are on a professional register, if you do your swinging discreetly and behind closed doors, there should be no need for dismissal. If, on the other hand, you are a binman OR a solicitor and you are indiscreet, you could be seen as bringing the organisation you work for, into disrepute.
The answer? Be discreet. If you can't and care that much, don't do it. The answer is NOT just to put 'professional' on your profile - it just makes people curious anyway.
Warming the Bed
OMG----and for all these years, we just thought it was a euphemism to indicate that the people were actually running a paid escort service whilst getting around the site rules on such adverts!!!! :twisted:
Sex God
Quote by Valton
OMG----and for all these years, we just thought it was a euphemism to indicate that the people were actually running a paid escort service whilst getting around the site rules on such adverts!!!! :twisted:
Quote by tweeky
Seems we done a pretty good job of debating professional on a profile. Seems it means a lot of things to a lot of different people so putting it is going to have a very mixed bag of results.
I rest my case
Orgasminator
My biggest bug bear with discretion is not because of my job, it's discretion within this community, or lack of it at times. If someone wants to be private about what (or who) they do, that's their choice. Sadly its not that respected at times.
Sex God
Quote by vampanya
My biggest bug bear with discretion is not because of my job, it's discretion within this community, or lack of it at times. If someone wants to be private about what (or who) they do, that's their choice. Sadly its not that respected at times.
:thumbup:
Couldn't really have said that better.
I can not understand how people can say or not say what others write on their profile to describe themselves. I do find this a very narrow minded view.
I read profiles, but I don’t make my judgement on them based on just that, as I have met some great people that have had very little on their profile as they like me, like to get to know the person before making a informed choice.
I read profiles, but I don’t make my judgement on them based on just that, as I have met some great people that have had very little on their profile as they like me, like to get to know the person before making a informed choice.
Orgasminator
I agree with minx. People use all sorts of words to describe themselves, the words they think fit best at the time. I dont think anyone who uses the word professional is being elitist.
And back to the OP if someone wants to stay annonymous until further down the road towards meeting for ANY reason that's up to them. People have every right and reason to be cautious, especially if they feel their reputation away from this website is at stake.
And back to the OP if someone wants to stay annonymous until further down the road towards meeting for ANY reason that's up to them. People have every right and reason to be cautious, especially if they feel their reputation away from this website is at stake.
Quote by Theladyisaminx
I can not understand how people can say or not say what others write on their profile to describe themselves. I do find this a very narrow minded view.
I read profiles, but I don’t make my judgement on them based on just that, as I have met some great people that have had very little on their profile as they like me, like to get to know the person before making a informed choice.
... but, you're an accountant!!
Quote by GnV
I can not understand how people can say or not say what others write on their profile to describe themselves. I do find this a very narrow minded view.
I read profiles, but I don’t make my judgement on them based on just that, as I have met some great people that have had very little on their profile as they like me, like to get to know the person before making a informed choice.
... but, you're an accountant!!
ermm bookkeeper actually :P
But that is just one of my attributes , but qualified in nothing.
Just call me Jack
but not professional. Quote by Theladyisaminx
I can not understand how people can say or not say what others write on their profile to describe themselves. I do find this a very narrow minded view.
I read profiles, but I don’t make my judgement on them based on just that, as I have met some great people that have had very little on their profile as they like me, like to get to know the person before making a informed choice.
... but, you're an accountant!!
ermm bookkeeper actually :P
But that is just one of my attributes , but qualified in nothing.
Just call me Jack
but not professional.Ok then, bean counter...
definition sums it up.
Actually, accountants are the most mis-named profession of any.. they seem to be accountable for nothing in my experience :lol2:
being invited into to someone else's secrecy is not always as simple as it is presented. Somewhere down the line there may be an awkward compromise at the least.
Also the idea that you may eventually get to know them and they you is not necesarily true. you are only sharing a secret. so you may never find out who they really are, and why they are doing what they do in such a manner.
So whilst it may seem an open and honest gesture to make, it can't be in reality, because of the nature of what it is. a practised deceit. a professional lie.
A lot of people don't care either way and learn to live with this as they discover it in people.
At times it seems to me, to be more of a warning than an attraction.
Also the idea that you may eventually get to know them and they you is not necesarily true. you are only sharing a secret. so you may never find out who they really are, and why they are doing what they do in such a manner.
So whilst it may seem an open and honest gesture to make, it can't be in reality, because of the nature of what it is. a practised deceit. a professional lie.
A lot of people don't care either way and learn to live with this as they discover it in people.
At times it seems to me, to be more of a warning than an attraction.
Forum Virgin
My guess is that many who refer to themselves as "professional" really mean that they are quite new to this and are sh*t-scared that their friends, relatives, patients, clients, customers might find out that they enjoy (or would like to try) swinging, and are also deeply concerend that somehow they'll find themselves featured in the Sunday papers.
I am professional in what I do and Lilly is a professional (but we don't state it in our profile). Neither of us want to risk "exposure" and indeed she would almost certainly be sacked, so we want to remain as anonyomous as possible until we get to know people.
But what nervous "professional" people fail to take into account is the principal behind why there was not a nuclear war - "MAD": Mutual Assured Destruction.
The bottom line is that "real" swingers treat each other with, at least, care and respect and potentially with love. The issue is to find such real swingers.
We're looking!
I am professional in what I do and Lilly is a professional (but we don't state it in our profile). Neither of us want to risk "exposure" and indeed she would almost certainly be sacked, so we want to remain as anonyomous as possible until we get to know people.
But what nervous "professional" people fail to take into account is the principal behind why there was not a nuclear war - "MAD": Mutual Assured Destruction.
The bottom line is that "real" swingers treat each other with, at least, care and respect and potentially with love. The issue is to find such real swingers.
We're looking!
