My answer is no but i have a female friend who says they always do.....i said i would be able to find her a huge number of people who will dissagree with her.
any volunteers? x
Sex God
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Do 3sums ruin a relationship?
Sex God
my friend seems to think that 3sums would hurt a relationship because the phrase *who was better* always comes up (she says)
Sex God
When she was 16 with her best friend and her boyfriend....it broke them up.....my point- they were 16!
well it does tend to happen quite regularly so i won't realy comment, but whether 16 or not i don't think age makes much difference, but to be honest this isn't really the best place to ask after all it is a swinging site and the members on here are somewhat more open minded than the general population.
Sex God
thats why i asked here though....because i wanted to win the argument.....
Sex God
i knew i would win....and i thought she was the most open minded person i knew 
she might be openminded but shes experienced it first hand so i can see where shes coming from, when something happens to you it does tend to change your perspective on it. I used to always say im a good driver and will never have an accident, until of course i did, and although not my fault i now think of that very differently. the moral of my story being that a bad experience will put most people of certain things and change the way they see it.
I've had two relationships where we'd regularly take part in 3somes and moresomes. But that's because it was right for us and I can honestly say it never caused any problems.
However I did have one girlfriend where I just knew it wouldn't be a good idea so we never went down that road.
What works for some doesn't always work for others.
However I did have one girlfriend where I just knew it wouldn't be a good idea so we never went down that road.
What works for some doesn't always work for others.
I think that questions a bit like the how longs a bit of string question
Surely it depends on the couples, some couples handle 3sums very well thank you very much while others relationships arn't really strong enough to cope after, i know couples who have split thro swinging and others who have been at it for years and are still happy.
Surely it depends on the couples, some couples handle 3sums very well thank you very much while others relationships arn't really strong enough to cope after, i know couples who have split thro swinging and others who have been at it for years and are still happy.
The first time I had one, it ruined my relationship!!
I enjoyed it so much, he unfortunatly didnt. I only agreed to do one because I thought it would keep us together.
First mistake. They can destroy a poor relationship, but make a strong one stronger.
I went on later, to do one with someone I cared deeply about, we had a strong relationship, and still do. And it was fantastic. We still talk about it to the day.
So I guess its all down to how you handle them, and at what stage your relationship is at.
I enjoyed it so much, he unfortunatly didnt. I only agreed to do one because I thought it would keep us together.
First mistake. They can destroy a poor relationship, but make a strong one stronger.
I went on later, to do one with someone I cared deeply about, we had a strong relationship, and still do. And it was fantastic. We still talk about it to the day.
So I guess its all down to how you handle them, and at what stage your relationship is at.
Sex God
I think a threesome in the vanilla world is a different kettle of fish to one in a swinging world. Emotions are on a different level.
pink x
pink x
the main thing for us after experiencing our first 3sum was to talk over how we felt about it - honestly and openly..... the bits that made us feel good and the bits that felt more uncomfortable.
it certainly worked for us and are looking forward to experiencing it again .... and again ....
curvy xx
it certainly worked for us and are looking forward to experiencing it again .... and again ....
curvy xx
In our opinion it definatly doesnt ruin a relationship what so ever, then again we are very lucky we trust each other very very much and we think this is the main reason why we feel so comfortable doing it. We have only had threesomes with other females and not males so i dont know how David would feel after he seem me with another man, to be honest it does not really do anything for me. I would rather see David with another woman in a girl friend role play situation or me with another woman while he watches.
We are very big fans of the girl on girl and girl girl on woman and would recommend this to anyone..... im sure all the other types of swinging are just as good be we just havent tried it YET!
sorry for ranting on!!!!
Tracy! x
We are very big fans of the girl on girl and girl girl on woman and would recommend this to anyone..... im sure all the other types of swinging are just as good be we just havent tried it YET!
sorry for ranting on!!!!
Tracy! x
Quote by blueandpink
I think a threesome in the vanilla world is a different kettle of fish to one in a swinging world. Emotions are on a different level.
pink x
Isn't having a threesome exactly that? regardless of what world you label yourself in? everyone starts somewhere don't they or were we all born swingers? You'll probably find that these so called people living in the vanilla world had there expeirences then and are on here now, still the same person but more liberated? maybe maybe not but just an observation.
Sex God
The 3somes I have had have not ruined anything, just been good fun :twisted:
Quote by solofun
I think a threesome in the vanilla world is a different kettle of fish to one in a swinging world. Emotions are on a different level.
pink x
Isn't having a threesome exactly that? regardless of what world you label yourself in? everyone starts somewhere don't they or were we all born swingers? You'll probably find that these so called people living in the vanilla world had there expeirences then and are on here now, still the same person but more liberated? maybe maybe not but just an observation.
i agree with that being in the 'swinging world' don't mean you will be able to handle everything you have tried
Sex God
I think a threesome in the vanilla world is a different kettle of fish to one in a swinging world. Emotions are on a different level.
pink x
Isn't having a threesome exactly that? regardless of what world you label yourself in? everyone starts somewhere don't they or were we all born swingers? You'll probably find that these so called people living in the vanilla world had there expeirences then and are on here now, still the same person but more liberated? maybe maybe not but just an observation.
i agree with that being in the 'swinging world' don't mean you will be able to handle everything you have tried
Very valid points Solo and naughty and it's just my opinion but people I know/heard of who have had threesomes with friends have had emotional entanglements and either haven't thought it through doing something on the spur of the moment or haven't been able to handle the aftermath. I am not saying this is not heard of with swingers (quite clearly from reading threads it does happen) but generally I have found people committed to a swinging lifestyle are more likely to handle it better as their mindset is different, maybe I should say more focused? They see it as fun recreational sex and don't get so emotional perhaps?
I just know how totally differently I approach sex and other people we play with that I would never imagined I could have before we discussed swinging and started living the lifestyle.
Hope I'm making sense I know what I'm trying to say but winter cold masking my ability to think today!
pink x
Sex God
A 3way to us is a great thing but then as i, the male partner seldom play maybe its different. Though i dont see why it would be. unless i had a problem with dick size comparisons, which i dont.
I feel if a discussion has the sort of phrase as 'is it better than me' or 'your not as good as they are/were' then the 3way is fundamentally flawed. Dont ppl think that it would be insensitive at the least to put these ideas to you spouse/partner. My partner says that just by my being there increases her enjoyment which is good for me and i just hope that the fun we have remains just as much fun.
Am i strange never to have felt jealousy or
insecurity when in this situation. Both during and after play we encourage and support each other. I carry on hoping mrs Lost squeezes every last little drop of pleasure from the stuff we do.
When i look at her asleep with a tired smile on her. To me, gorgeous face. And i wake up to her still smiling and full of re-newed energy and life. I know what we do is right for us
I feel if a discussion has the sort of phrase as 'is it better than me' or 'your not as good as they are/were' then the 3way is fundamentally flawed. Dont ppl think that it would be insensitive at the least to put these ideas to you spouse/partner. My partner says that just by my being there increases her enjoyment which is good for me and i just hope that the fun we have remains just as much fun.
Am i strange never to have felt jealousy or
insecurity when in this situation. Both during and after play we encourage and support each other. I carry on hoping mrs Lost squeezes every last little drop of pleasure from the stuff we do.
When i look at her asleep with a tired smile on her. To me, gorgeous face. And i wake up to her still smiling and full of re-newed energy and life. I know what we do is right for us
I read all this with interest, as my wife (R) and I have fantasized about exactly this (specifically mmf) many times, but we are yet to take the big plunge into the swinging world.
I think that the fear of what could go wrong is what keeps it at the fantasy level - I'm confident that we are secure enough in our relationship to play, but it's a very big step to go from private fantasy in the bedroom to acting it out with a third party.
It's also pretty clear that R would love to play, but I don't know how to get from where we are now to the reality. I guess the first step is signing up to a swingers site and talking about it - we'll see how it goes!
The original post asks whether 3sums can ruin a relationship. My feeling on this is that it must be a security thing.
If the couple are seccure in their relationship and with themselves then the third person becomes a guest at the party, but if the couple are insecure then there is a possibility, maybe even a liklihood, of jealousy creeping in, followed by a host of other problems.
I guess also the motivation for wanting the threesome is a factor - do you want it so your partner can have even more fun? Or is there another motive that won't surface until after the event? In which case, you'd better be careful...
DC
I think that the fear of what could go wrong is what keeps it at the fantasy level - I'm confident that we are secure enough in our relationship to play, but it's a very big step to go from private fantasy in the bedroom to acting it out with a third party.
It's also pretty clear that R would love to play, but I don't know how to get from where we are now to the reality. I guess the first step is signing up to a swingers site and talking about it - we'll see how it goes!
The original post asks whether 3sums can ruin a relationship. My feeling on this is that it must be a security thing.
If the couple are seccure in their relationship and with themselves then the third person becomes a guest at the party, but if the couple are insecure then there is a possibility, maybe even a liklihood, of jealousy creeping in, followed by a host of other problems.
I guess also the motivation for wanting the threesome is a factor - do you want it so your partner can have even more fun? Or is there another motive that won't surface until after the event? In which case, you'd better be careful...
DC
Quote by Sarah
The 3somes I have had have not ruined anything, just been good fun :twisted:
Well hardyhaha for you then Sarah you smug so & so
My threesums have been nothing but a complete headache
Do you know how many bedsheets I get thru?!!
& coz I'm a single guy I'm the one left with all the fecking washing!
:fuckinghell: Grrrrrrr....
Sex God
I read all this with interest, as my wife (R) and I have fantasized about exactly this (specifically mmf) many times, but we are yet to take the big plunge into the swinging world.
I think that the fear of what could go wrong is what keeps it at the fantasy level - I'm confident that we are secure enough in our relationship to play, but it's a very big step to go from private fantasy in the bedroom to acting it out with a third party.
It's also pretty clear that R would love to play, but I don't know how to get from where we are now to the reality. I guess the first step is signing up to a swingers site and talking about it - we'll see how it goes!
The original post asks whether 3sums can ruin a relationship. My feeling on this is that it must be a security thing.
If the couple are seccure in their relationship and with themselves then the third person becomes a guest at the party, but if the couple are insecure then there is a possibility, maybe even a liklihood, of jealousy creeping in, followed by a host of other problems.
I guess also the motivation for wanting the threesome is a factor - do you want it so your partner can have even more fun? Or is there another motive that won't surface until after the event? In which case, you'd better be careful...
DC
Hi DC and :welcome:
When we started we decided to start with only foursomes, for the following reasons:
a no one was feeling left out
b we both saw each other with other people at the same time
b less likelihood of the 'third party' coming between us
As it happens we were absolutely fine, seeing each other with other people (phwooaarrr
) but we were cautious because we had thought exactly the same as you before when we were researching whether swinging was for us.Ultimately as long as you two are secure if you meet the third party that isn't and starts causing problems then that's their problem, not yours. We always agree if anyone (be it a third party or couple) is getting in between then we walk away. Hasn't happened yet though
pink x
Quote by blueandpink
I read all this with interest, as my wife (R) and I have fantasized about exactly this (specifically mmf) many times, but we are yet to take the big plunge into the swinging world.
I think that the fear of what could go wrong is what keeps it at the fantasy level - I'm confident that we are secure enough in our relationship to play, but it's a very big step to go from private fantasy in the bedroom to acting it out with a third party.
It's also pretty clear that R would love to play, but I don't know how to get from where we are now to the reality. I guess the first step is signing up to a swingers site and talking about it - we'll see how it goes!
The original post asks whether 3sums can ruin a relationship. My feeling on this is that it must be a security thing.
If the couple are seccure in their relationship and with themselves then the third person becomes a guest at the party, but if the couple are insecure then there is a possibility, maybe even a liklihood, of jealousy creeping in, followed by a host of other problems.
I guess also the motivation for wanting the threesome is a factor - do you want it so your partner can have even more fun? Or is there another motive that won't surface until after the event? In which case, you'd better be careful...
DC
Hi DC and :welcome:
When we started we decided to start with only foursomes, for the following reasons:
a no one was feeling left out
b we both saw each other with other people at the same time
b less likelihood of the 'third party' coming between us
As it happens we were absolutely fine, seeing each other with other people (phwooaarrr
) but we were cautious because we had thought exactly the same as you before when we were researching whether swinging was for us.Ultimately as long as you two are secure if you meet the third party that isn't and starts causing problems then that's their problem, not yours. We always agree if anyone (be it a third party or couple) is getting in between then we walk away. Hasn't happened yet though
pink x
agreed....we prefer foursomes aswell...not interested in threesomes...wether it male or female.
Quote by Lost
Am i strange never to have felt jealousy or
insecurity when in this situation. Both during and after play we encourage and support each other. I carry on hoping mrs Lost squeezes every last little drop of pleasure from the stuff we do.
When i look at her asleep with a tired smile on her. To me, gorgeous face. And i wake up to her still smiling and full of re-newed energy and life. I know what we do is right for us
not strange at all lost, i feel the same. I haven't felt jealousy or insecurity at any point so far.
Maybe we've been lucky but i prefer to think it's because our relationship is so secure & strong. A good shag may be bloody brilliant, and usually is, but it's not a patch on what we have in our relationship.
Watching curvy literally purr with pleasure is an amazing sight and i believe she feels the same about watching me. Let's face it if you love and care for someone you want them to have fun, and swinging is bloody good fun!
h x
Don't think that they do.. the only threesum I have had with anyone off this site has resulted in me being fairly happy They are still together..(and still very happy with each other) and we will hopefully do it again at some point in the future.
I think that our only regrets are that we didn't have more sex when we had the chance. :P
splendid
They are still together..(and still very happy with each other) and we will hopefully do it again at some point in the future.I think that our only regrets are that we didn't have more sex when we had the chance. :P
splendid
