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Do single men get a look in on here?
Quote by makingcocoa
I disagree - I consider what I do swinging, whether it's with couples, groups or other singles. I've done my fair share of shagging around, before discovering the swinging scene, and I don't think it's the same. The important bits of the swinging scene, for me, are that I'm respected, I'm never judged, I can want what I want when I want it and no-one's going to think I'm a slut. Everyone has the same attitude to NSA sex, in other words that it's A Good Thing and you have every right to it.
The single guys I consider to be swingers have the swinging mindset, ethos, whatever, and shagging them is different to shagging some guy I pick up in a club who I don't know, have no intention of having a friendship with, will probably only shag once and won't have any kind of connection with. Of course there are singles of both sexes here just looking for a shag, and if it's working then fair play to them, but I don't consider it to be swinging.
Swinging for me isn't just any old sex, it's sex with people I know and like, which makes it different from shagging around in the vanilla world - regardless of whether the people I'm doing it with are couples, single guys, single girls or a great big group of all of them. I think it's the attitude that makes it swinging, not the combination of bodies.
Ooowww - I kind of want to agree and then I don't want to.
I am too soon out of the car from a long day and lack of sleep last night to compose something off of the cuff at the moment - so I'll have to come back to this.
OK - I have had a large glass of diet coke........
I think the definition of swinging is a very personal thing (though the common theme is the mindset or attitude).
Because swinging is so many things to different people (because of the things they actually do), when we express our opinions they can only really be our own personal definition and nothing more. There will undoubtedly be a sharing of opinions on sites such as this between groups of people and we will be drawn to these people who share our personal definitions (which in turn reinforces our beliefs and values).
Prior to finding the swinging world I had a number of friends I had sex with (fuck-buddies). This is not an uncommon thing in the vanilla world… I work with people who have fuck-buddies and who are quite open about it.
All of my pre-swinging vanilla fuck-buddies had a relaxed attitude to sex and our sexual activities - they all knew they were not my only FB and I knew I was not theirs and we were all quite happy about that. We had strong friendships and they were all people I socially spent time with as well as shagged silly. Because this was my experience before discovering the swinging scene I just find it very difficult to relate this type of situation to swinging when looked at in isolation. May be I was always meant to be a swinger and was swinging all along – but I just think of it as shagging when it is 1-2-1 sex (even with several partners) as it was my behaviour in the vanilla world.
Does that mean I think any less of singles who only want to meet singles – hell no, but I wouldn’t call the ‘activity’ swinging. Does it mean they are not a swinger? Now that is a different question.
I think the definition of swinging is a very personal thing (though the common theme is the mindset or attitude).
Because swinging is so many things to different people (because of the things they actually do), when we express our opinions they can only really be our own personal definition and nothing more. There will undoubtedly be a sharing of opinions on sites such as this between groups of people and we will be drawn to these people who share our personal definitions (which in turn reinforces our beliefs and values).
Prior to finding the swinging world I had a number of friends I had sex with (fuck-buddies). This is not an uncommon thing in the vanilla world… I work with people who have fuck-buddies and who are quite open about it.
All of my pre-swinging vanilla fuck-buddies had a relaxed attitude to sex and our sexual activities - they all knew they were not my only FB and I knew I was not theirs and we were all quite happy about that. We had strong friendships and they were all people I socially spent time with as well as shagged silly. Because this was my experience before discovering the swinging scene I just find it very difficult to relate this type of situation to swinging when looked at in isolation. May be I was always meant to be a swinger and was swinging all along – but I just think of it as shagging when it is 1-2-1 sex (even with several partners) as it was my behaviour in the vanilla world.
Does that mean I think any less of singles who only want to meet singles – hell no, but I wouldn’t call the ‘activity’ swinging. Does it mean they are not a swinger? Now that is a different question.
first of all to answer the actual thread, id agree with what some others have said and encourage you smoky, to complete your profile and get involved in the forum along with writing good personalised and conversational replies, and good luck :thumbup:
sorry to chop your post up cocoa but these are the parts i really agree with, im a single woman and i choose to meet single men when i want to (which is more often than i meet couples these days....couples - how complicated???) and i dont think that makes me any less of a swinger.
one thing ive not done, is meet one half of a swinging couple on their own ......would that be more of an acceptable swinging activity for singles?
Quote by makingcocoa
The single guys I consider to be swingers have the swinging mindset, ethos, whatever, and shagging them is different to shagging some guy I pick up in a club.
Swinging for me isn't just any old sex, it's sex with people I know and like, which makes it different from shagging around in the vanilla world - regardless of whether the people I'm doing it with are couples, single guys, single girls or a great big group of all of them. I think it's the attitude that makes it swinging, not the combination of bodies.
sorry to chop your post up cocoa but these are the parts i really agree with, im a single woman and i choose to meet single men when i want to (which is more often than i meet couples these days....couples - how complicated???) and i dont think that makes me any less of a swinger.
one thing ive not done, is meet one half of a swinging couple on their own ......would that be more of an acceptable swinging activity for singles?
I've been a member on and off for a while now and enjoy catching up with the forum and posts as much as anything. Was a single male now happily in a relationship but we both enjoy getting out and meeting new people. Not met anyone through SH yet, maybe at a munch but we've had our fun with friends.
As many others have quite rightly pointed out it's a lifestyle thing and SH is a good place to meet relaxed like minded people.
Without being rude, as a single fella i'd be off to dedicated dating sites adn state what you are looking for in a partner, then return as a couple and see how many invites come in
As many others have quite rightly pointed out it's a lifestyle thing and SH is a good place to meet relaxed like minded people.
Without being rude, as a single fella i'd be off to dedicated dating sites adn state what you are looking for in a partner, then return as a couple and see how many invites come in
Sex God
Quote by sexkittenhfx
one thing ive not done, is meet one half of a swinging couple on their own ......would that be more of an acceptable swinging activity for singles?
good question kitten..........to me swinging is about a mindset rather than than the actually activety (as cocoa put it 'number of bodies') whether looking for singles or couples I think the main point is that they are looking for an open minded relationship rather than just looking to meet a single that will lead to a one on one only relationship with no view to playing at any time.
When I was here as a single I clearly stated that I wasn't interested in single men as I was here to meet couples or females although a social drink then turned into a relationship. Whilst I stated that I didn't want to meet single men this did not mean that I had anything against those single who were hear looking for other single as some of these people may be looking for a swinging partener not just a quick shag. I have used 'dating sites' before and actually met a few swingers on them and I see no reason for single people to used this site to attempt to meet parteners.
As for your question about singles swinging with one half of a couple being more acceptable than singles meeting I'm not really sure as I don't have a problem with singles swinging although I would be interested to hear others views on this one.
Ok, this is probably gonna come out all wrong - so I apologise in advance if it does!!!!
I joined this site, as a single bi female. So far I have met 5 single blokes. I talked with all of them at length on MSN, but they all had somehting on their profile, which is why I replied to them in the first place. Hint there for the original author of this post.
But in response to NN, I have asked this question in previous posts, because I have only met single guys, how does this make me a swinger??
But then I think its all in the mindset too!!! The guys I have met so far have respected all that I enjoy, respected the fact that I'm bi, and respected any boundaries I have set. If I pick a guy up in a night club, it takes bribery and possibly threats to get them to even use a condom for sex, let alone for a bj too.
I enjoy being a member of this site, and look to getting more involved with munchies etc in the future, mainly because I can say what I enjoy, without someone thinking bad of me, as they tend to in the vanilla world.
There that didnt come out too offensive did it???
I'm proud of myself!!!!
Bit tipsy too!!!!
I joined this site, as a single bi female. So far I have met 5 single blokes. I talked with all of them at length on MSN, but they all had somehting on their profile, which is why I replied to them in the first place. Hint there for the original author of this post.
But in response to NN, I have asked this question in previous posts, because I have only met single guys, how does this make me a swinger??
But then I think its all in the mindset too!!! The guys I have met so far have respected all that I enjoy, respected the fact that I'm bi, and respected any boundaries I have set. If I pick a guy up in a night club, it takes bribery and possibly threats to get them to even use a condom for sex, let alone for a bj too.
I enjoy being a member of this site, and look to getting more involved with munchies etc in the future, mainly because I can say what I enjoy, without someone thinking bad of me, as they tend to in the vanilla world.
There that didnt come out too offensive did it???
I'm proud of myself!!!!
Bit tipsy too!!!!
walks up with two shiny pennies
drops them in the slot.
Ok, for me it's an attitude thing. If I went to an ordinary club and picked up two guys, took them both home and had sex with both of them at the same time, within a week all thier freinds would know and I wouldn't be able to go back to the same club without all the guys coming on to me and all the women thinking I was a complete slapper. However if the same thing happened in a swinging club, we'd have some fun and that would be the end of it, we might exchange numbers if we wanted but they'd respect the fact that discretion was needed and not think any less of me for being there.
It's the attitude to seeing sex as a recreational activity and not something that is a subject.
H.x
drops them in the slot.
Ok, for me it's an attitude thing. If I went to an ordinary club and picked up two guys, took them both home and had sex with both of them at the same time, within a week all thier freinds would know and I wouldn't be able to go back to the same club without all the guys coming on to me and all the women thinking I was a complete slapper. However if the same thing happened in a swinging club, we'd have some fun and that would be the end of it, we might exchange numbers if we wanted but they'd respect the fact that discretion was needed and not think any less of me for being there.
It's the attitude to seeing sex as a recreational activity and not something that is a subject.
H.x
Sex God
Quote by Scandal
scandal....youre a single man....im a single woman....would you like to partake in some non-swinging recreational shagging?
We'll need permission from the morals police. Are you ok to wait? :lol:
Aren't you both scousers? Thats got to break a multitude of moral codes, just incase you procreate :shock:
Well yeah, I am looking here for a quick shag/casual relationship, I think most men on here are. I can also see why women don't respond to single men as much, it's probably the equivelant of being leched over in a club the way some people reply.
I'll admit i'm not confident enough to go to a munch, which obviously means i'm not confident enough to meet people for sex. I'm trying to be someone i'm not, not being fake as such but trying to become what I want to be too quickly. So really this last paragraph makes me wonder why i'm on this site at all.
I'll admit i'm not confident enough to go to a munch, which obviously means i'm not confident enough to meet people for sex. I'm trying to be someone i'm not, not being fake as such but trying to become what I want to be too quickly. So really this last paragraph makes me wonder why i'm on this site at all.
Quote by Smoky
Well yeah, I am looking here for a quick shag/casual relationship, I think most men on here are. I can also see why women don't respond to single men as much, it's probably the equivelant of being leched over in a club the way some people reply.
I'll admit i'm not confident enough to go to a munch, which obviously means i'm not confident enough to meet people for sex. I'm trying to be someone i'm not, not being fake as such but trying to become what I want to be too quickly. So really this last paragraph makes me wonder why i'm on this site at all.
Here you are mate the worlds smallest :violin: for ya
Stop the lament.. & just join in the fun
You've popped yer posting cherry you've tried the quick shag route with no joy so sit back have a brew & chill with the rest of us :cheers:
One more thing!
As in 'real life' the more you put in the more you get out :thumbup:
No one's gonna shag ya unless they know who you are!
Quote by redpantherman
Well yeah, I am looking here for a quick shag/casual relationship, I think most men on here are. I can also see why women don't respond to single men as much, it's probably the equivelant of being leched over in a club the way some people reply.
I'll admit i'm not confident enough to go to a munch, which obviously means i'm not confident enough to meet people for sex. I'm trying to be someone i'm not, not being fake as such but trying to become what I want to be too quickly. So really this last paragraph makes me wonder why i'm on this site at all.
Here you are mate the worlds smallest :violin: for ya
Stop the lament.. & just join in the fun
You've popped yer posting cherry you've tried the quick shag route with no joy so sit back have a brew & chill with the rest of us :cheers:
One more thing!
As in 'real life' the more you put in the more you get out :thumbup:
No one's gonna shag ya unless they know who you are!
I wasn't looking for sympathy dude just being honest and anyway the world's smallest violin would look like this 
Hi Smoky, All I can say is we could giveyou a few names of guys who've been "lucky". Why? Of course they needed a decent profile and to have read ours (winks and one liners don't work for me) but mostly it's down to luck, persistence and being flexible on timing. Usually when we advertise for a single guy I'll get up to 20 responses of which 10 will be winks/one liners and 5 won't have read that they must accommodate. That leaves five of whom I might fancy say 3 or 4 and then we don't advertise again until I've contacted those but as I only swing with single guys about once a month and can't predict when I'll fancy it more than a day or two ahead it really is a bit the luck of the draw and being available. Hope this helps.
Hi Smoky, All I can say is we could giveyou a few names of guys who've been "lucky". Why? Of course they needed a decent profile and to have read ours (winks and one liners don't work for me) but mostly it's down to luck, persistence and being flexible on timing. Usually when we advertise for a single guy I'll get up to 20 responses of which 10 will be winks/one liners and 5 won't have read that they must accommodate. That leaves five of whom I might fancy say 3 or 4 and then we don't advertise again until I've contacted those but as I only swing with single guys about once a month and can't predict when I'll fancy it more than a day or two ahead it really is a bit the luck of the draw and being available. Hope this helps.
Sex God
Single men certainly do get a look in here but I think the way you use the site and the success rate depends on what you hope to get out of it.
Over the time I have used this site as a single man I have used it to make open minded friends, it has been very good for that and I now have some lovely real-life friends who I originally met through this site and this scene. As a side effect of that I have been lucky enough to have some very good fun with a number of people I have met as well. This suits me fine because I dont want just a casual one-off encounter and I enjoy the social side of this site immensely.
As to whether I am really a swinger as I almost exclusively meet single women - I dont know and dont really care. I like this site rather than a dating one because the people here are a lot more open minded and compared to my experience of the vanilla world a lot more fun.
Roger
Over the time I have used this site as a single man I have used it to make open minded friends, it has been very good for that and I now have some lovely real-life friends who I originally met through this site and this scene. As a side effect of that I have been lucky enough to have some very good fun with a number of people I have met as well. This suits me fine because I dont want just a casual one-off encounter and I enjoy the social side of this site immensely.
As to whether I am really a swinger as I almost exclusively meet single women - I dont know and dont really care.
I like this site rather than a dating one because the people here are a lot more open minded and compared to my experience of the vanilla world a lot more fun.Roger
Quote by meat2pleaseu
scandal....youre a single man....im a single woman....would you like to partake in some non-swinging recreational shagging?
We'll need permission from the morals police. Are you ok to wait? :lol:
Aren't you both scousers? Thats got to break a multitude of moral codes, just incase you procreate :shock:
who said anything about procreation? all im after is the practice :twisted:
Quote by PoloLady
:lol: :lol: :lol:
I think he is getting the hang of it :lol:
Smoky
don't be a stranger to these parts mate :cheers:
I reckon you're gonna fit in nicely!!!
:thumbup:
Sex God
Quote by Shaz_n_Tony
are you on broadband or dial up
:laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove:
please don't encourage the skiddy Sex God
TBH, I'd rather know how to win the lottery :twisted: 
Quote by Abilene
Ok heres my silly input. The few meets that I have had in my short time here and the few that I have lined up are all with people who are contributers ( not necessarily million posts regs ). Its not that I am a snob and wont talk to someone who is shy but by getting some banter back and forth either in chat or forum I already feel a little kinship with the person/couple if that makes sense as opossed to an out of the blue "hey, you wanna meet me this Saturday" from someone who I havent even read anything from. I dont mean that their chat/forum posts have to be with me but just like to read a little something outside of their profile too. You can get a little insight into sense of humor ( or lack of ) that way. Does that sound silly. Maybe I am not wording it right ... having a block between my brain and fingers today.
Ok... off to my corner now. xxxxxxxxxxxxx
I agree with you to a point Abi...
But, I dont think that because someone has made 100 - 150 posts, comes over with a sense of humour, that I may have vaguely chatted with in a forum/ chatroom, watched a bit of fun an banter between others, shuffled a few pms back an forth or someone has vouched for them (after chatting ten mins with them at a munch).....SAFE and Sane to meet on a one to one basis. Thats me tho.....synical! It helps yes... is it then we *may* let our safe guards down to soon?
Sometimes, I believe that what you see in the forums isnt always what you get in real life! Im certainly different outside in the big bad world. I can be shy, quiet, funny, sexy, sensual, outragious etc etc.......depends who Im with and where I am!
More important to me is my own safety! Ive learnt a lot over the last few years and made a few mistakes (ok 2 huge ones....both bad experiences). One thing I will not do again....for anyone (besides a handwritten work reference lol) is vouch for someone! Not even if I knew them for years in real life or virtual life........I wont take that responsibility.
I suppose Ive listened too much in a recent course i did about *grooming* lol only this time I see it as someone grooming you to get in ya nickers. They can say all the right things, do all the right things, looks like there accepted etc........ I can do that! An Im aready wavering on the slightly mad line! :twisted:
Maybe thats why I dont swing, I just dont trust people like i used to!
Be safe, be happy :) :) :)
xanaisx
Sex God
Even when a single fem or a couple want a casual meet, they would still expect to get to know you a bit. The more you can put of yourself 'out there' the better your chances.
Any social meet is great, chat room is good if you have the patience to get into the flow of the chat (took me a few weeks to get used to it) and doing what you're doing now - posting your thoughts.
Put it this way - how far would you get if you walked into a pub and announced 'here I am - shag me'. Same applies here (Of course for some that works - you know who you are!!!!) :twisted:
Anyway - keep at it and you'll be fine. BTW, I'm a single fem and met a number of single guys as well as couples, so it does work.
Any social meet is great, chat room is good if you have the patience to get into the flow of the chat (took me a few weeks to get used to it) and doing what you're doing now - posting your thoughts.
Put it this way - how far would you get if you walked into a pub and announced 'here I am - shag me'. Same applies here (Of course for some that works - you know who you are!!!!) :twisted:
Anyway - keep at it and you'll be fine. BTW, I'm a single fem and met a number of single guys as well as couples, so it does work.
Forum Virgin
...get deleted and set for ignore instantly. What a turn off for both of us!
These thimbledicks think that a main profile picture of their nudger with the camera 6 inches from scrotum to delivering an exaggerated impression of size will get them an invitation?
Dream on!
RandY
These thimbledicks think that a main profile picture of their nudger with the camera 6 inches from scrotum to delivering an exaggerated impression of size will get them an invitation?
Dream on!
RandY
