I know I am not Johnny Depp look-a-like of the year and my hair (and my youth!) has gone with the wind but perfectly sane attractive people still let me play with them.I hope they don't think they are lowering their standards, I never lower mine because the person or persons who say yes at that time are the one/ones in that moment, and thus we share each others beauty!
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Do you lower your standards when swinging?
Quote by niceandgentle
I know I am not Johnny Depp look-a-like of the year and my hair (and my youth!) has gone with the wind but perfectly sane attractive people still let me play with them.I hope they don't think they are lowering their standards, I never lower mine because the person or persons who say yes at that time are the one/ones in that moment, and thus we share each others beauty!
Ha ha I'd say this thread needs to be taken a little tongue in cheek mate.. I tell you what, if a super model wants to lower her standards for me then it's a win win as far as I'm a concerned
:thumbup:
Sex God
Quote by MidsCouple24
Each to thier own of course but the policy of "any holes a goal" or "why not it's just sex" does not work for me. I am 100% positive I am not the only one.
Same here....
And it appears that many others are the same....
I don't get much luck here (for not much read none) but I don't intend to subscribe to the "any holes a goal" mantra as that just doesn't do it for me...
Sex God
Quote by livelife_cpl
Hi all.
During our first visit to a club last week we got talking to a couple who were telling us about some meets they had in the last few weeks and went on to say "we lower our standards when looking for people to swing with". Whilst we completely respect their choices and understand their reason for this but we don't agree with the comment. For us to have fun with a male, female or couple we need to find them almost as attractive as we would if we were looking to date them and this includes the same sort of personalities we like as well as physical appearance. What's everyone's opinion on this?
J & M
Ooh, I've not been posting much, and now all of a sudden there are posts making me think!
Do I lower my standards when swinging? No, I don't think I do. However my time within the 'scene' (shudder - hate that phrase!) has made me massively broaden my definitions of 'sexy', 'fuckable' and 'attractive'.
Why? Well, I've been exposed ( :twisted
to people of all different ages and backgrounds etc who I possibly would't have met and certainly not in a possible-sexual-partner kinda way. That has opened my eyes. I've have re-defined my parameters. I don't consider that a lowering of standards, rather a broadening of my mind!
Sex God
I've suddenly had a horrible thought.
Do my swinging parteners lower THEIR standards when we meet? :eeek:
Do my swinging parteners lower THEIR standards when we meet? :eeek:
Quote by foxylady2209
I've suddenly had a horrible thought.
Do my swinging parteners lower THEIR standards when we meet? :eeek:
I am sure some do when they play with me, sometimes for thier partners sake sometimes because they want to play with Sasha, if I detect this to be the case it is a turn off for me and I won't play, hopefully sometimes I surprise them and they go home feeling glad they tried it.
Sex God
We do not lower our standards, in fact it seems the opposite!
Mrs T has always strictly controlled who she swings with, and the standard never drops!
Mrs T has always strictly controlled who she swings with, and the standard never drops!
Quote by Trevaunance
We do not lower our standards, in fact it seems the opposite!
Mrs T has always strictly controlled who she swings with, and the standard never drops!
So, going by the amount of people on here that feel "standard lowering" does go on, would you say, given that you never lower your standards,and in fact you raise your standards, that some others may lower their standards when entering into a sexual encounter with yourselves? (Not intended as a rude question, just more intrugued about your mind set)
Sex God
Yeah they might do, but who cares?
I have found that when I am 'doing' casual my parametres are much wider as for taste; the people still have to hot and sexy but they can be out of my type as such, as in shorter, fatter, fairer etc.....
Not sure if this is lowering my standards or if this is like fancying a curry once a week but wanting a bacon sandwich every day lol
Pam xx
Not sure if this is lowering my standards or if this is like fancying a curry once a week but wanting a bacon sandwich every day lol
Pam xx
Conventional pretty and erotically mind blowing aren't 2 sides of the same coin (you just have to see the Tulsa sex tape to understand that).
As noladreams said earlier "broaden my definitions of 'sexy', 'fuckable' and 'attractive'. ".
I always had a wide definition of who I find attractive. But In my teens I when on a date with a girl who I was sure wasn't my type. I tried to wriggle out of going back to mine but she was instant. Long story short it was amazing sexual experience she changed my perceptions completely and taught me not to judge so hastily.
As noladreams said earlier "broaden my definitions of 'sexy', 'fuckable' and 'attractive'. ".
I always had a wide definition of who I find attractive. But In my teens I when on a date with a girl who I was sure wasn't my type. I tried to wriggle out of going back to mine but she was instant. Long story short it was amazing sexual experience she changed my perceptions completely and taught me not to judge so hastily.
wow, what responses but come on folks, let's look at reality here. When you meet at a club then you have the chance to link to the person one to one. If you look at the advert on here then it's a bit clinical and we're all looking for sharon stone (or )george clooney or whatever rocks it for you(
Sex God
I have always had to lower my standards, or else I would still be a virgin.
Haha.
No, actually, there's some truth in that.
Haha.
No, actually, there's some truth in that.
Let's be perfectly honest; the women in couples around here i would say RAISE their we are brutally honest here even the best looking guy will probably meet and have sex with a woman on a swinging site they would not consider attractive enough looking to date (i know as i contact them too.) This allows the women and couples to pick and choose only the best and generally then end up punching above their weight so to speak. It's pretty obvious.
Quote by justinjacksonuk
Let's be perfectly honest; the women in couples around here i would say RAISE their we are brutally honest here even the best looking guy will probably meet and have sex with a woman on a swinging site they would not consider attractive enough looking to date (i know as i contact them too.) This allows the women and couples to pick and choose only the best and generally then end up punching above their weight so to speak. It's pretty obvious.
I'm not often offended by posts on here, but I think that this is downright rude.
Apart from the fact that your photos are private, so we're unable to judge whether you are "Good looking" or not (your own words from your own profile), how on earth can you lump all women and couples in one bag.
Yes, I know our photos are private too, but I'm not making a sweeping generalisation about the attractiveness of half of the site, so I'm not exactly putting myself out there for judgement.
When we swing with guys, I can almost always find something good and attractive in them - it's not always about six packs and chiseled good looks. I sometimes lower my usual standards and frankly less frequently raise them. I have a fab relationship with the man I love, so what does it matter to me whether a brief encounter is likely to "consider (me) attractive enough looking to date"?
I don't think that I've ever played with anyone "above my weight". We are here for fun for me (mrs) cos we both enjoy it. As far as we're concerned we can live very happily as a couple without meeting other men for me to have fun with - it's an optional extra - so why on earth would I have to raise or lower my standards at all?
We do what feels good and right at the time and we have a lot of fun doing it. I would hate to think that someone was sacrificing his integrity for a quick fuck with me.
Quote by JustWantFun
Let's be perfectly honest; the women in couples around here i would say RAISE their we are brutally honest here even the best looking guy will probably meet and have sex with a woman on a swinging site they would not consider attractive enough looking to date (i know as i contact them too.) This allows the women and couples to pick and choose only the best and generally then end up punching above their weight so to speak. It's pretty obvious.
I'm not often offended by posts on here, but I think that this is downright rude.
Apart from the fact that your photos are private, so we're unable to judge whether you are "Good looking" or not (your own words from your own profile), how on earth can you lump all women and couples in one bag.
Yes, I know our photos are private too, but I'm not making a sweeping generalisation about the attractiveness of half of the site, so I'm not exactly putting myself out there for judgement.
When we swing with guys, I can almost always find something good and attractive in them - it's not always about six packs and chiseled good looks. I sometimes lower my usual standards and frankly less frequently raise them. I have a fab relationship with the man I love, so what does it matter to me whether a brief encounter is likely to "consider (me) attractive enough looking to date"?
I don't think that I've ever played with anyone "above my weight". We are here for fun for me (mrs) cos we both enjoy it. As far as we're concerned we can live very happily as a couple without meeting other men for me to have fun with - it's an optional extra - so why on earth would I have to raise or lower my standards at all?
We do what feels good and right at the time and we have a lot of fun doing it. I would hate to think that someone was sacrificing his integrity for a quick fuck with me.
Nice post JustWantFun :thumbup:
Not nice post justinjacksonuk
We thought this post was a little bit like comparing apples with pears. As a couple who only play with others together the criteria we are looking for here (or any similar environment) are very different to criteria we might use as singletons looking for a long term partner.
For us, a smaller number of criteria are important in swinging with others. Trying to take in to account considerations about how you might live together, building a life sharing triumphs and set backs hardly come in to play. Does that mean we are lowering our standards if we'd have sex with people we wouldn't be interested in having a relationship with far less spend the rest of our lives?
If this is simply a crude analysis of 'looks' (and beauty is in the eye of the beholder) then we'd respond as follows. We'd be untruthful if we said appearance and personal hygiene were irrelevant. However, that cuts both ways. Swinging shouldn't be about some sort of Trophy hunt. So if you smell and taste like an old ashtray you may look like Brad and Angelina, or for that matter you may be Brad and Angelina, but we won't swing with you. Much more important to us is people who share our outlook on how to have great sex involving others, which is not to say we need to involve others to have great sex!
If you believe there is a positive correlation between 'looks' and sexual ability we know that isn't true, and most real swingers we have met also understand the fallacy of that view. If you have a great sexual encounter with a third party, couple or group, you'll remember how much you enjoyed that long after you have forgotten whether they would have made the front cover of Vogue or Men's Health.
Best
C4C
For us, a smaller number of criteria are important in swinging with others. Trying to take in to account considerations about how you might live together, building a life sharing triumphs and set backs hardly come in to play. Does that mean we are lowering our standards if we'd have sex with people we wouldn't be interested in having a relationship with far less spend the rest of our lives?
If this is simply a crude analysis of 'looks' (and beauty is in the eye of the beholder) then we'd respond as follows. We'd be untruthful if we said appearance and personal hygiene were irrelevant. However, that cuts both ways. Swinging shouldn't be about some sort of Trophy hunt. So if you smell and taste like an old ashtray you may look like Brad and Angelina, or for that matter you may be Brad and Angelina, but we won't swing with you. Much more important to us is people who share our outlook on how to have great sex involving others, which is not to say we need to involve others to have great sex!
If you believe there is a positive correlation between 'looks' and sexual ability we know that isn't true, and most real swingers we have met also understand the fallacy of that view. If you have a great sexual encounter with a third party, couple or group, you'll remember how much you enjoyed that long after you have forgotten whether they would have made the front cover of Vogue or Men's Health.
Best
C4C
Quote by JustWantFun
I'm not often offended by posts on here, but I think that this is downright rude.
Apart from the fact that your photos are private, so we're unable to judge whether you are "Good looking" or not (your own words from your own profile), how on earth can you lump all women and couples in one bag.
Yes, I know our photos are private too, but I'm not making a sweeping generalisation about the attractiveness of half of the site, so I'm not exactly putting myself out there for judgement.
When we swing with guys, I can almost always find something good and attractive in them - it's not always about six packs and chiseled good looks. I sometimes lower my usual standards and frankly less frequently raise them. I have a fab relationship with the man I love, so what does it matter to me whether a brief encounter is likely to "consider (me) attractive enough looking to date"?
I don't think that I've ever played with anyone "above my weight". We are here for fun for me (mrs) cos we both enjoy it. As far as we're concerned we can live very happily as a couple without meeting other men for me to have fun with - it's an optional extra - so why on earth would I have to raise or lower my standards at all?
We do what feels good and right at the time and we have a lot of fun doing it. I would hate to think that someone was sacrificing his integrity for a quick fuck with me.
Seriously, i can't figure out what you are getting so angry about and don't put words in my mouth. I never said i was "good looking" or anyone wasn't attractive. I am presenting what i think is a pretty obvious hypothesis:
1. Single men on here are a dime a dozen
2. Single men send a lot of messages to couples and women
3. Couples and women get a lot of messages so they can choose from the best-they RAISE their standards.
4. Only the best looking men get return contact which in turn makes the other guys LOWER their standards and send messages out to the couples they overlooked the first time round.
Stop thinking about YOU as an individual; I am purely speculating on how i think the majority work.
Anyone who denies this is..........well in denial. IMHO
Quote by justinjacksonuk
I'm not often offended by posts on here, but I think that this is downright rude.
Apart from the fact that your photos are private, so we're unable to judge whether you are "Good looking" or not (your own words from your own profile), how on earth can you lump all women and couples in one bag.
Yes, I know our photos are private too, but I'm not making a sweeping generalisation about the attractiveness of half of the site, so I'm not exactly putting myself out there for judgement.
When we swing with guys, I can almost always find something good and attractive in them - it's not always about six packs and chiseled good looks. I sometimes lower my usual standards and frankly less frequently raise them. I have a fab relationship with the man I love, so what does it matter to me whether a brief encounter is likely to "consider (me) attractive enough looking to date"?
I don't think that I've ever played with anyone "above my weight". We are here for fun for me (mrs) cos we both enjoy it. As far as we're concerned we can live very happily as a couple without meeting other men for me to have fun with - it's an optional extra - so why on earth would I have to raise or lower my standards at all?
We do what feels good and right at the time and we have a lot of fun doing it. I would hate to think that someone was sacrificing his integrity for a quick fuck with me.
Seriously, i can't figure out what you are getting so angry about and don't put words in my mouth. I never said i was "good looking" or anyone wasn't attractive. I am presenting what i think is a pretty obvious hypothesis:
1. Single men on here are a dime a dozen
2. Single men send a lot of messages to couples and women
3. Couples and women get a lot of messages so they can choose from the best-they RAISE their standards.
4. Only the best looking men get return contact which in turn makes the other guys LOWER their standards and send messages out to the couples they overlooked the first time round.
Stop thinking about YOU as an individual; I am purely speculating on how i think the majority work.
Anyone who denies this is..........well in denial. IMHO
I agree with you to an extent... It's certainly true that women and couples looking for single men have a large pool to choose from. But, that doesn't mean that we suddenly become fickle. When looking for a meet, my wife and I are interested in the whole package and not just looks. I wouldn't say that we have only met with super hot men. In fact, an average looking guy with a bit of charm and personality is likely to be far more appealing to me than a dull-as-dishwater hottie (not that I'd throw him out of bed, of course... But I wouldn't go out of my way to look for super hot men).
I obviously cannot speak for the men my wife and I have met with though... For all I know, they may consider that they lowered their standards!
Sex God
Quote by cool4catz
If you believe there is a positive correlation between 'looks' and sexual ability we know that isn't true, and most real swingers we have met also understand the fallacy of that view. If you have a great sexual encounter with a third party, couple or group, you'll remember how much you enjoyed that long after you have forgotten whether they would have made the front cover of Vogue or Men's Health.
Best
C4C
This part of your post particularly though relies on the individual. As is said often on here the biggest sexual organ is the brain. Therefore in that respect if I don't find the lady attractive prior to her showing her ability then half the battle is lost. I tried and failed dismally in an encounter with a couple where I didn't find the lady attractive. I thought the hornyness of of the situation would win through which just didn't work and ended up as a disaster for all involved.
It appears that very broadly there are those that need some kind of visual aesthetic attraction prior to play and then those that don't or can work with personality alone. Ive said to Mrs Tweeky in the past, wish I was less picky, wish I was bi
More choice then :lol: but sadly that's just not the way I am. Quote by tweeky
It appears that very broadly there are those that need some kind of visual aesthetic attraction prior to play and then those that don't or can work with personality alone. Ive said to Mrs Tweeky in the past, wish I was less picky, wish I was bi
It's more of a spectrum for me. Like balancing looks and personality on a set of scales. A person could be not quite "my type" physically, but where they're slightly lacking in looks (for me), they may make up with personality. Or vice versa. It's not like there's a formula, but it is certainly true that there's a tipping point, i.e. Where there just isn't enough to result in any sort of sexual chemistry / attraction. I guess the op's question is about whether people adjust their tolerances when swinging. I don't really think I do. But it's a hard question, because initial contact on this site is in a very different context to meeting someone in a bar. So, it's hard to compare IMO.
Sex God
Quote by Lilith
It appears that very broadly there are those that need some kind of visual aesthetic attraction prior to play and then those that don't or can work with personality alone. Ive said to Mrs Tweeky in the past, wish I was less picky, wish I was bi
It's more of a spectrum for me. Like balancing looks and personality on a set of scales. A person could be not quite "my type" physically, but where they're slightly lacking in looks (for me), they may make up with personality. Or vice versa. It's not like there's a formula, but it is certainly true that there's a tipping point, i.e. Where there just isn't enough to result in any sort of sexual chemistry / attraction.I guess the op's question is about whether people adjust their tolerances when swinging. I don't really think I do. But it's a hard question, because initial contact on this site is in a very different context to meeting someone in a bar. So, it's hard to compare IMO.
That (in bold) is an excellent way of putting it. :thumbup:
Sex God
Quote by Lilith
It appears that very broadly there are those that need some kind of visual aesthetic attraction prior to play and then those that don't or can work with personality alone. Ive said to Mrs Tweeky in the past, wish I was less picky, wish I was bi
It's more of a spectrum for me. Like balancing looks and personality on a set of scales. A person could be not quite "my type" physically, but where they're slightly lacking in looks (for me), they may make up with personality. Or vice versa. It's not like there's a formula, but it is certainly true that there's a tipping point, i.e. Where there just isn't enough to result in any sort of sexual chemistry / attraction. I guess the op's question is about whether people adjust their tolerances when swinging. I don't really think I do. But it's a hard question, because initial contact on this site is in a very different context to meeting someone in a bar. So, it's hard to compare IMO.
I get what you say. Peoples scales are just balanced in different ways. There have been various woman mainly work based who I couldent stand! Complete bitchs, but one in particular I could quite happily have bent over her desk just for those tits and that ass :twisted: On the other hand I know woman I laugh with all the time and whom I have great conversations with but I couldent shag them if I tried. When you get someone who ticks both box's then great but I can work with a tick in the aesthetic box alone. Im not always looking to engage with people when it comes to swinging. The best examples of this are club play room meets when play initiates in the room and you have never even talked before.
Orgasminator
I definitely have never lowered my standards with couples and hence why im such an unsuccessful swinger ;)) in quantity numbers but gained 10 fold in quality with experiences with amazing friends ..... Some of whom I didnt really feel it for in the beginning but after many social meets found them very sexy and exciting and fun ...
Regarding single men ... Ive never met a single guy Id date in vanilla from here and hence then id say I do lower my standards there ... Be it looks, personality or just general manners and respect... A player is great to play with but not sort youd actually have much time for out of the bedroom ... Even a hottie that does nt have certain personality traits I admire and respect in the real world is definitely a drop of my standards
This has nowt to do with my wanting to date anyone just the way I compare
Being young and attractive live will always throw you into the small pool but if you dont feel you will both get anything out of a meet then just dont go there.
Tweekys are definitely spot on ... The less picky you are the more choice but i think long term less satisfaction
Aunty Gorge over and out xxxxx
Regarding single men ... Ive never met a single guy Id date in vanilla from here and hence then id say I do lower my standards there ... Be it looks, personality or just general manners and respect... A player is great to play with but not sort youd actually have much time for out of the bedroom ... Even a hottie that does nt have certain personality traits I admire and respect in the real world is definitely a drop of my standards
This has nowt to do with my wanting to date anyone just the way I compare
Being young and attractive live will always throw you into the small pool but if you dont feel you will both get anything out of a meet then just dont go there.
Tweekys are definitely spot on ... The less picky you are the more choice but i think long term less satisfaction
Aunty Gorge over and out xxxxx
Orgasminator
Just remembered and interesting scientific fact
People usually play within their number
If you rate yourself as an 8 youll play with 7s and above and rarely below etc !!!!.
Hence attractiveness is based on your own personal image ( looks and personality) of yourself and then you grade people accordingly
and having witnessed 100s of people at meets and socials and clubs hit it off id say thats pretty much true xx
People usually play within their number
If you rate yourself as an 8 youll play with 7s and above and rarely below etc !!!!.
Hence attractiveness is based on your own personal image ( looks and personality) of yourself and then you grade people accordingly
and having witnessed 100s of people at meets and socials and clubs hit it off id say thats pretty much true xx
