As a single male that's been in this situation I can tell you that the best way to approach the subject. Firstly after the initial ad response meet male to male for a drink & chat & see how that goes. May need several meetings just to make sure that everyone is genuine. Once you've established a relationship then arrange a meeting in the same cicumstances with you both. Again several meetings might be needed to put everyone at ease, once you've met, go home & discuss the situation fully to make sure you're both on the same page. If you decide to go further tell the bloke EXACTLY what your looking for & the boundries you have (any genuine guy will not have a problem with this). When the meeting is set make sure that everyone understands that at ANYTIME if one or other of you decide to stop then that's it.
I was once in the position that the husband was really keen & the wife just went along with it to keep him happy, I didn't find this out until about half way through the evening after we'd already done a lot of things. I realised the lady wasn't really enjoying herself, when her husband went to refill our drinks I got her to tel me what was wrong as I thought I was doing something wrong. When she explained that she'd only gone along with it to please him. Now I'm not the most sensative guy in the world but even I realised this was not right. Fortunatly we had'nt had full sex yet so before anything else happened I made my excuses & left, I don't know if I imagined it but as I left I'm sure I saw a huge look of relife on the ladys face.
So what I'm basically saying is, certainly broach the subject carefully. Then if you decide to go further establish a relationship to make sure you have a genuine & considerate contact. Then make sure you set some rules that everyone agrees to. To be crude for a moment even if you get to the point that she's got his cock in her mouth & then decides she really doesn't want to carry on then that's the end of it.
I know there's probably some here that will take exception to some of this, but after all this is a swinging site with some genuine swingers on it that have had some genuine experience. Belive me if it all goes well it is a very enjoyable thing. But the golden rule has to be find someone who appreciates what you're offering & is prepared to take their time & cultivate the relationship, a genuine guy will be more than happy to do this.
Hope this helps a little.
A xx
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