Hi and thanks for looking,been on this site for a few years now and always had fun but a lot of my play mates have moved away or stopped playing so looking for new one but it’s just so hard is full of time wasters,does any one else feel the same or am I missing something? Most people seem to think it’s facebook !
Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
Does any one on here still actually meet up
Sex God
People definitely meet, and they definitely play. I don't know what you mean by thinking it's facebook - the social side has always been important. That's how I've always met people. Friends first, whatever follows after (if it does).
the people I’ve met up with over the years have been mostly the other way round,we met up just for fun and that only.a couple of people we met in a local pub first for a drink but then back to theirs or mine for nsa fun. That’s why I come on here for nsa fun with genuine people,I can meet up with plenty of my own friends and see where it goes .i do think there’s way more time wasters on here now days ,the same with fab as well with peoples profiles saying just had a big lunch or off shopping etc that’s what I mean about the Facebook comment and after all the sites called swinging heaven not lets be friends and have drinks then see what
The swinging community is a transient one, people drop in and out of it all the time and life generally does get in the way at times, families, or parting company or add in a dozen social situations, or they just grow out of it (if there is such a thing) it's how it is, but I can tell you from behind the scenes that there seems to be lots of people on here meeting up and lots of the time and then some.
As for timewasters, here is no different to anywhere else that has a community platform, it's par for the course and inevitable that a percentage of said community will be nothing but window shoppers, I'd hazard a guess that as it's essentially strangers meeting each other that a good amount of 'meets' go awry due to it being the unknown element of the meet causing people to be cautious and rain off at the last minute...and of course there are those just here to tititlate themselves.
Perhaps you're jaded? maybe your own criteria for a meet has changed? perhaps you've been in the scene for so long that you are quite specific and know what you want so have narrowed your search beam? Swinging has evolved, it no longer exists or at least has diminished in it's purest form, swinging was for couples to swap partners, now it's pretty much a free for all, singles being in the majority where once it wasn't really about them, you as a single would not normally exist /get a look in n the truest sense of swinging.
For me personally, I don't enjoy the 'social' side of things, I haven't the slightest bit interest in meeting people as 'friends' to share a few drinks with and a natter etc, yuk! For me, it's about meeting with a view to fucking each other, for sure there is an amount of getting to know each other prior to the boudoir bawdiness but thats it, stuff the tea and biccies meets, no thanks!
Move on and move with the times, perhaps consider readjusting your strategy or way of thinking and enjoy what and who is on here or fold and perhaps miss out, there are most certainly new ventures on here for you (as there is for all) you just gots to perhaps work a little more for it.
No pain, no gain.
Hi and thanks for your reply but I’m a member of 4 swinging site and get lots of fun on 2 of them but this one and another one seem absolutely dead . I have changed my strategy and tried hard but why would I want to keep banging my head against a wall when I can use other sites and get fun far more easily.I browsed on here at all my local matches with in like 30 miles and it was like this person was last seen 64 days a go or last seen never ! It seems it’s had its day which is a shame because out of the 4 sites I use this used to be my favourite with the most genuine users! I’m no tom hardy lol but in every day life I have no problem attracting ladies and get quite a few offers which hasn’t changed so I think I will just stop expecting any fun on here and log in every now and again.
Maybe your negativity is harnessing your ability to find fun?
I would say that as the single male you’re in the majority, perhaps more so now than ever before so unless you shine/stand out/put in the work you’ll not succeed as easy as you may once have.
I’ve observed very new sign-up ( sometimes just days) single male accounts hooking up with long time, established members and seemingly having fun (verifying each other as having met or leaving complimentary notes on each others profiles or cos one party or the other has been waxing lyrical on how well the site has worked for them etc etc etc.
The site is what it is, a platform for the more liberated out there to indulge themselves with others of a similar nature and ok for some it doesn’t work but thats life in general.
Also some of the ‘other ‘happening’ sites you allude to, maybe the sex part is a bit more free and easy but then maybe here the calibre of it’s residents is just that bit higher? The facilities here allow members to see/check out possible bed partners in a more detailed manner, better search( sorta) bigger photos, more informative profiles, whispers in chatroom, private chatrooms, better quality webcams, verification of each other, profile notes and so it goes on, all of which when combined give the person looking just that little more info before deciding to contact/skip on by.
One things for sure, you ‘stopping expecting any fun and only going to log in occassionally’ is one less for others seeking fun to have to compete with.
Warming the Bed
I've done both although keen to do more of the less social meets! :-) x
why would I want to shine /stand out and put the work in on here and have to try harder than ever when I can get fun else where in the same way I have done for the last umpteen years ! This sites members are not of a higher standard than any other sites members either ,,some of the people on here are also members on other sites I use but they are online way more frequent on there than not limiting my chances at all by not coming on here as regular because I get no meets on here nor am I desperate for meets on here as I get plenty else where but I was curious if any people on here actually still meet up and after chatting to others from hear plus the comments on this post have done anything to convince me this is the site it used be or any where near .plus saying it’s me and I need to do more ,try harder etc isn’t true because I have lots of fun meets else where !
Happy swinging
Well you've been trying harder/changng strategy (your post further up) and you've been here for 12 years and still coming back, sheesh! thats serious committment, way to go is that.
On balance and what you've posted so for I rather think the site in it's own way does work for you, result!
we dont seem to have any problems getting meets, and certainly when we were both single neither of us had trouble getting meets either. in fact we had better luck here than anywhere else *shrugs shoulders*
The site works in different ways for different people, if you are having luck elsewhere then maybe stick to that instead of adding to the negative nellies that are here on a daily basis, be a wolf not a sheep ;) Have fun and may the odds be ever in your favour, Kat 
Warming the Bed
Appears not!!! I'm so fed up with the time wasting, game playing guys on here. Been let down 3 times in 2 weeks by guys!!! The last one (Mods Edit : member name removed) let me down within 30 mins of the date....! Talk about frustration and being annoyed, I'd dolled myself up to nines, was well horny & ready for fun, but he textd to say "something had come up".....coincidently after I'd told him I'd let a friend know I was meeting him for safety reasons!!! Starting to give up hope of any GENUINE local guys on here!!
Glad it’s not just me then lol,there should be a name and shame page on here for people who repeatedly waste people’s for negative nellies I’m just asking/stating whats been happening on here for me nd seeing if it’s the same for others.i don’t care what others /moderators say it’s not as good as it used to be on here and after logging in for the first time in a while I looked at my matches and it’s the same old people who was last on on line 3 weeks a go ,90 days etc and doesn’t seem to be many new ones.
Quote by strauss245
... after logging in for the first time in a while I looked at my matches and it’s the same old people who was last on on line 3 weeks a go ,90 days etc and doesn’t seem to be many new ones.
It’s not possible to make new Site members, unless you’d advocate creating fake profiles? ;)
I do not mean create fake profiles that’s the last thing we need ,there’s enough people on here who mail you wanting to know more then when you reply to them they never get back to you again ! What I’m saying is that it’s stagnant on here,other sites I use have lots of new people joining and mostly genuine as I’ve met up with them for strange how the 2other sites I use are busier and attracting new people and I get meets on them but nothing on here and it can’t just be me as others I chat too say the same apart from the site moderators etc who just want you to believe other a shame because this used to be my favourite site which I had lots of fun on x
Mod
Quote by strauss245
you can’t even name and shame the fake profiles or time wasters on here because the moderators protect them and let them stay to keep the numbers up !
What a load of bollocks. We do not protect the time wasters, what we protect are normal members who could be open to being 'named and shamed' by someone maliciously. Neither the innocent or the guilty can prove their innocence once their name is up in lights. Mud sticks, Strauss.
As for keeping the numbers up, Strauss, that also is bollocks. It makes no difference to me if we have 50,000 members or 500,000. Like you I'm a member on here but I volunteer to be a moderator, to give something back to the site and the swinging community. I don't get paid and I don't get extra shags (more's the pity!), so why I should try to keep the membership up by keeping disingenuous people onboard is well beyond my limited comprehension, especially as we ban many on a daily basis who we know are only out to get money from you by trying to re-direct you to their paid sites.
If you see a 'fake' profile, please feel free to report it and we'll deal with it, but please don't just put the reason as 'fake profile' with nothing to back it up. We're not mind readers or criminal investigators, so help us to help you.
Mal
Mod
Instant Shag shed is thataway through that door >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
After 12 years onsite you still haven't found your way through it
As for Bollocks yeh seen plenty felt a fair few. Also had plenty of people make choices not to meet and respected their wishes even after chatting for a while. As for moderators protecting the time wasters WTF ?? read and digest Mals post tis all true. You obviously do not see the bigger picture nor are you interested in anyone else but yourself and your sexlife. There is a world of fun people out there just waiting to join in with positive thinking understanding others. You reap what you sow.
I think straus makes perfectly valid points and the majority of the other posts are out of the reality loop. I would hope that most would at least acknowledge that there has been a significant drain of the 'walkers' in the last few years. It isn't a natural ebb because many of them are to be found still 'walking' elsewhere. There must be a reason for this! For sure there will be exceptions to the rule but they are fast dwindling.
I disagree with his term 'fake profiles' as such because i don't believe there are many profiles that are a total fabrication. Saying that, as I type this I get an alert, from a single fem with a suspect name, liking my profile! I think a huge amount of the 'active' profiles on here are faux profiles ie. wife got bored or fucked off years ago and the guy is left stringing it out. Any visit to any of the chatrooms beyond The Pool will reveal a whole host of them. They show as being members for many years, have no credible verification's, often have pictures from last century and basically spout transparent bullshit. I know what and who they are and so must the mods.
I was on here as a couple for a few years and we basically gave up looking for meets here. Our MO was to put ads on when looking for guys. In the last year or two we barely got one interested party for an ad. I don't think the tucked away aspect of the meets section helps at all but surely our experience reflects an unhealthy 'swinging site'.
The whole 'protecting the innocent' line in regard to naming and shaming is a nonsense that all sites propagate to dodge the issue. Unfortunately, no site has had the balls to get to grips with no-shows or 'time-wasting' if you will. We all depend on feedback and verification elsewhere when investing on the internet why the fuck can't it be incorporated here in some reasonable form?
If you did a questionnaire on any swinging site, I have no doubt the biggest cause of complaint would be the proliferation of 'fakes/faux' or 'time-wasters. My biggest cause of complaint is sites sheltering behind a reactive line rather than being proactive. Unfortunately, here it has resulted in considerable defections as people chase the numbers, doing the math.
Underpinning all the above points is the fact that nowhere in the Site AUP does it say any member HAS to meet.
We used to meet regularly, but things in our life have moved in a different direction so we don't actively seek others now. That's not to say we wouldn't meet, it's just that it would be a very special occasion. The Site for us is now a place where we can be social with other like-minded people, with no expectations beyond friendliness and courtesy.
PS: I've moved this thread to the right forum for swinging discussions. 
Quote by Cubes
Underpinning all the above points is the fact that nowhere in the Site AUP does it say any member HAS to meet.
We used to meet regularly, but things in our life have moved in a different direction so we don't actively seek others now. That's not to say we wouldn't meet, it's just that it would be a very special occasion. The Site for us is now a place where we can be social with other like-minded people, with no expectations beyond friendliness and courtesy.
PS: I've moved this thread to the right forum for discussing swinging
Absolutely Cubes but I'd happily bet you that most join in the expectation of meeting. The 'about' section even goes as far as saying 'This site is dedicated to swinging in the UK' as encouragement. You wouldn't join for the social aspect would you?
Your post does highlight something else that is probably relevant. I suspect that very few of the people who run the site or administer the site meet much anymore so there is a massive disconnect...
It all depends on whether you take the dictionary definition of swinging as gospel, or if you understand it’s much wider disposition.
To the layman swinging is just sex with multiple partners (originally just between couples: the inclusion of singles being a much later evolution). To those in the know it’s a much broader arena, encompassing all aspects of the lifestyle. This site encompasses that definition.
It was originally set up by swingers, for swingers, and apired to be somewhere they could interact with each other freely at all levels. The inclusion of tools to arrange meets was ancillary to the original plan, but the evolution of the internet has developed this allusion to instant gratification, and many people now see this site as just another means to that end. In reality it holds much deeper possibilities. If you want a quick hook-up there are lots more sites to sate your need. If you want to be involved in the “soup-to-nuts” swinging experience, this is the place for you.
Quote by Cubes
It all depends on whether you take the dictionary definition of swinging as gospel, or if you understand it’s much wider disposition.
To the layman swinging is just sex with multiple partners (originally just between couples: the inclusion of singles being a much later evolution). To those in the know it’s a much broader arena, encompassing all aspects of the lifestyle. This site encompasses that definition.
It was originally set up by swingers, for swingers, and apired to be somewhere they could interact with each other freely at all levels. The inclusion of tools to arrange meets was ancillary to the original plan, but the evolution of the internet has developed this allusion to instant gratification, and many people now see this site as just another means to that end. In reality it holds much deeper possibilities. If you want a quick hook-up there are lots more sites to sate your need. If you want to be involved in the “soup-to-nuts” swinging experience, this is the place for you.
You have given me a wonderful image of you in a flowing white robe entering a a suburban living room populated by bright-eyed couples holding aloft the sacred bowl of car keys Cubes!
Your lofty thoughts couldn't better express the 'disconnect' I spoke of before. What the site was, real or imaginary, has no bearing on the here and now. Sex isn't a dirty word as much as it was. People are able to find their pleasure in a whole raft of ways these days without guilt. I'm pretty sure that the vast majority of people who join the site do so to explore the no strings attached element of base human contact to serve their libido's.
The continued drift of longstanding members should illustrate that the 'swinging experience' you sell is not what people seek here. The site is bottom heavy with clutter as I call it, extinct profiles and individuals who smother the ever decreasing people who meet. There is always going to be talkers and walkers but the balance has become alarmingly unbalanced. Maybe five years ago we reckoned it was about 15% of the active in last three months membership that actually met, suspect it is below 5% now.
It's a real shame because the site had all the ducks in a row to be the vital site, vital as in vitality. Sure, the monetary investment went in with the upgrades etc but the point was lost. I'm not one of those that eulogise the old days, just someone, like the OP, who despairs of the shell the site has become.
Quote by WroteForLuck
There is always going to be talkers and walkers but the balance has become alarmingly unbalanced. Maybe five years ago we reckoned it was about 15% of the active in last three months membership that actually met, suspect it is below 5% now.
It's a real shame because the site had all the ducks in a row to be the vital site, vital as in vitality. Sure, the monetary investment went in with the upgrades etc but the point was lost. I'm not one of those that eulogise the old days, just someone, like the OP, who despairs of the shell the site has become.
That is from your perspective, from the other side of the fence I see plenty of members hooking up/meeting, many of them go on to issue a verification as having met, I also note the many comments left on member profiles by others after having met, I haven't seen a significant decrease or even a decrease in those comments. Plenty still subscribe here, plenty still join and go on to subscribe, plenty renew, it must work for them? The 'longstanding members drift' you mention, it's just natural evolution, those 'longstanding members' have moved on from swinging or moved on from this site as they fancied a change, likewise (and other mods i'm sure) are constantly deleting new joins ups photos they've uploaded which include the watermark of another site they used previous, the drift appears mutual.
But in any case, for me the dynamics of swinging have changed which when coupled with the likes of facebook as a community have changed the ballpark on how people choose to interact/spend their online recreational time.
All of what you're stated has merit but for me and through it all it's simply about pricing and how it's priced, if here was to offer the same selection as other sites and in the same way I think it would muchly benefit the SH community, money is king, it always does the talking when it comes to where individuals decide to spend their money.
loz I found my way through years a go , as for a big fun world out there ,I’m here for fun as in sex /swinging not any other,don’t want too chat about anything and everything with others on here as it’s a swinging site and that’s what I’m here for.I did reap what I sow on here a few years back but unfortunately it doesn’t happen on here any more ! It does on other sites which is why myself and others find it strange that it doesn’t on here course I only care about my own and the people I play with sex life ? why would I care about other people’s! You can say what you like but it’s fact that is not nothing like it used to be on here that’s why myself and others are all still playing on other sites but not on here so we can’t all be wrong,it’s a shame as this used to be the best site.
Wroteforluck your absolutely spot on with your comments
Quote by strauss245
loz I found my way through years a go , as for a big fun world out there ,I’m here for fun as in sex /swinging not any other,don’t want too chat about anything and everything with others on here as it’s a swinging site and that’s what I’m here for.I did reap what I sow on here a few years back but unfortunately it doesn’t happen on here any more ! It does on other sites which is why myself and others find it strange that it doesn’t on here course I only care about my own and the people I play with sex life ? why would I care about other people’s! You can say what you like but it’s fact that is not nothing like it used to be on here that’s why myself and others are all still playing on other sites but not on here so we can’t all be wrong,it’s a shame as this used to be the best site.
Wroteforluck your absolutely spot on with your comments
You're defeated by your own logic, the site doesn't work for you and yet here you are almost every single day logging on using the site facilities? On the contrary, for you to log in almost daily shows a good deal of commitment to the site, Impressive!
Quote by Toots
Quote by WroteForLuckThat is from your perspective, from the other side of the fence I see plenty of members hooking up/meeting, many of them go on to issue a verification as having met, I also note the many comments left on member profiles by others after having met, I haven't seen a significant decrease or even a decrease in those comments. Plenty still subscribe here, plenty still join and go on to subscribe, plenty renew, it must work for them? The 'longstanding members drift' you mention, it's just natural evolution, those 'longstanding members' have moved on from swinging or moved on from this site as they fancied a change, likewise (and other mods i'm sure) are constantly deleting new joins ups photos they've uploaded which include the watermark of another site they used previous, the drift appears mutual.
There is always going to be talkers and walkers but the balance has become alarmingly unbalanced. Maybe five years ago we reckoned it was about 15% of the active in last three months membership that actually met, suspect it is below 5% now.
It's a real shame because the site had all the ducks in a row to be the vital site, vital as in vitality. Sure, the monetary investment went in with the upgrades etc but the point was lost. I'm not one of those that eulogise the old days, just someone, like the OP, who despairs of the shell the site has become.
But in any case, for me the dynamics of swinging have changed which when coupled with the likes of facebook as a community have changed the ballpark on how people choose to interact/spend their online recreational time.
All of what you're stated has merit but for me and through it all it's simply about pricing and how it's priced, if here was to offer the same selection as other sites and in the same way I think it would muchly benefit the SH community, money is king, it always does the talking when it comes to where individuals decide to spend their money.
You'd be hard pressed to find someone more objective than me Toots. I can't, for a minute, believe that you haven't seen a significant decrease in comments left on others profiles having met just on volume of traffic alone!
I'm sure that with the various and significant upgrades on the site in recent years, it is now possible to drill down and come up with some pretty comprehensive stats on specific site activity. So, from what you've said;
- What percentage of the 'active in the last 3 months' membership have received or issued a meet verification in that time?
- What percentage of the 'active in the last 3 months membership' have you seen hooking up/meeting?
I strongly suspect that a lot of the longstanding members have moved on from this site for meets not a change of scenery! I'd like to know some of those watermarks from other sites, they would no doubt tell a tale...
Quote by Toots
Quote by strauss245
loz I found my way through years a go , as for a big fun world out there ,I’m here for fun as in sex /swinging not any other,don’t want too chat about anything and everything with others on here as it’s a swinging site and that’s what I’m here for.I did reap what I sow on here a few years back but unfortunately it doesn’t happen on here any more ! It does on other sites which is why myself and others find it strange that it doesn’t on here course I only care about my own and the people I play with sex life ? why would I care about other people’s! You can say what you like but it’s fact that is not nothing like it used to be on here that’s why myself and others are all still playing on other sites but not on here so we can’t all be wrong,it’s a shame as this used to be the best site.
Wroteforluck your absolutely spot on with your comments
You're defeated by your own logic, the site doesn't work for you and yet here you are almost every single day logging on using the site facilities? On the contrary, for you to log in almost daily shows a good deal of commitment to the site, Impressive!
If you approach the pictures in the 'Gallery' with a very open mind you can find daily entertainment!
