Does the reality live up to the fantacy?

3 Jun 2005

Hi people,
Like many men, I've spent years fantersizing about seeing my wife with another man.
Now I realy want to make it a reality.
I know she'll be up for it ( with the right man, after a few drinks ).
The thing is, I'm not totally sure how I'll feel afterwards.
The fantacy realy turns me on. :P
But will the reality. confused

:
Fellas, will I get a sudden burst of jealousy? mad

Ladys, how did you feel after your first time with another man? :?:
I just want to be sure I'll have no regrets.
Convince me peaple :!:

3 Jun 2005

if you dont know your own mind i think it would be wrong of you to even think about it, how can strangers like us know how you would cope with the situation as we dont know how your mind works, as for asking others its pointless really as everybody is different, some men can cope with it and enjoy it and others cant deal with it and end up getting jelous and ending their relationship. if you have doubts about your own mind dont do it as its a big step to make wink

3 Jun 2005

its not convincing you thats important
have you discussedthis with your wife ?
dutch courage is ok if its what she wants and the drinks are not a precursor for helping her into something shes not sure about
as to how you will feel this will aslo come out in conversations between you two
generally if in doubt dont
take your time

3 Jun 2005

For me, my first experience was in a club with my ex partner.
I was fine when I was playing, but then stopped him :doh:
I know....I'm a greedy girl lol

:lol: :twisted:
In hindsight, the relationship wasn't a secure one, he'd cheated on me previously and if I'm honest I only explored the scene initally to try to get our relationship back on track :shock: :shock:
Had the relationship been more secure and the trust been there, then things could have been significantly different I guess. dunno

3 Jun 2005

Quote by danni-d
Hi people,
Like many men, I've spent years fantersizing about seeing my wife with another man.
Now I realy want to make it a reality.
I know she'll be up for it ( with the right man, after a few drinks ).
The thing is, I'm not totally sure how I'll feel afterwards.
The fantacy realy turns me on. :P
But will the reality. :
Fellas, will I get a sudden burst of jealousy?
Ladys, how did you feel after your first time with another man? :?:
I just want to be sure I'll have no regrets.
Convince me peaple :!:

You obviously haven't thought about this seriously enough :?
You don't know your own mind and what your reactions will be - so how the bluddy ell do you think you can predict your wifes mind and say she will be up for it providing you can get her pissed first :shock:
I say go away and talk all this over with her, let her know your fantasies, get her reaction. If the reaction is positive, ie she doesn't recoil in horror, then build up the fantasy between you. Share the whole journey together, not just the shagging bit at the end when you've got her pissed!! What would you do if you did have a fit of jealousy? Blame her for everything?
Nope, go away and think about it seriously, think about what you could lose if you just went with the plan that you have just written up there :?

3 Jun 2005

I'd say if you have the idea that you might be jealous, plus the fact that it sounds like your partner isn't sure either, it sounds like a daft thing to do. I'd think about it some more if I were you, or leave it just to fantasy.

3 Jun 2005

Quote by MISSCHIEF
Hi people,
Like many men, I've spent years fantersizing about seeing my wife with another man.
Now I realy want to make it a reality.
I know she'll be up for it ( with the right man, after a few drinks ).
The thing is, I'm not totally sure how I'll feel afterwards.
The fantacy realy turns me on. :P
But will the reality. :
Fellas, will I get a sudden burst of jealousy?
Ladys, how did you feel after your first time with another man? :?:
I just want to be sure I'll have no regrets.
Convince me peaple :!:

You obviously haven't thought about this seriously enough
Nope, go away and think about it seriously, think about what you could lose if you just went with the plan that you have just written up there :?
I agree what MISSCHIEF said.
pls think real long and hard first.

3 Jun 2005

I'm impressed!
Wise words peaple!
We've talked about it plenty.
we've had many a good session shareing the fantecy too.
Don't worry, Its not something I'd try and trick her into, we'd both need a drink.
I'm not about to get her pissed and then let some bloke shag her while she's out cold.
Thanks for the feed back

3 Jun 2005

Quote by danni-d
I'm impressed!
Wise words peaple!
We've talked about it plenty.
we've had many a good session shareing the fantecy too.
Don't worry, Its not something I'd try and trick her into, we'd both need a drink.
I'm not about to get her pissed and then let some bloke shag her while she's out cold.
Thanks for the feed back

Ahhh ok, I didn't realise you had spoken about all this with her ........ Bring her on here too :bounce: Get to know us all, let us get to know you, then get yourselves to a munch. That way you can meet a load of likeminded people in a totally social environment - can have a chat, a laugh, and a bluddy good night out.
Or how about you both going to a club? You don't have to do anything - the first time you go how about setting very strict limits, like only staying for an hour/2 hours, not doing anything sexual? Just to see how you feel about that - if you both loved the atmosphere, then you can maybe agree before you go the next time to extend the limit? Would advise you not to go over your pre agreed limits tho - it's easy to do something in the heat of the moment and regret it later. Better to stick to your comfort zone and then move the goalposts afterwards, ready for the next time you go biggrin

Good luck, and remember, it's for both of you - if either of you are uncomfortable with anything then stop. You're out for your mutual enjoyment, noone elses cool

3 Jun 2005

First time?
Unplanned.
We both 'had' this guy.
Was grinning from ear to ear for weeks after.
HTH

3 Jun 2005

wifey only played for the first time 9 months ago - i was initially nervous and a little jealous, but she kept eye contact with ME all the time as she was playing with another guy - that helped a lot as i knew she was focusing as much on watching me have pleasure as her own.... and everything has worked out fine. J was nearly two years plucking up the courage for the fifrst time in taking it from fantasy to reality. A couple of experiences have been better than others, and we have some clearly defined rules!
so in all - like above posts you REALLY have to BOTh be sure!

3 Jun 2005

Hi danni-d
me and my partner was interessted in watching each other 'go' with some one else,
but sensibly, pre thought about any future problems there might be,
so at first we just went out to a club, and both stood back and watched the other chat up and kiss some one.
we both got very jealous.....but found the jealousy a bit of a turn on :twisted:
so we took it further and been having alotta fun since.
so my advice, see how you react in a normal place, ie pubs,clubs to her snogging a few guys or so, if your still fine with that then you should have no problem taking it further
hope that helps
luv lm2h2h xxx

3 Jun 2005

Hi
I have watched Katie with other guys a few times, and really enjoyed it.
As has been stated, the eye contact thing was really important to me too (though its difficult keeping eye contact during a spit roast :twisted: ) because it really made me feel that she wanted me to enjoy what she was doing.
We talked for a very long time before we took the plunge and one of the things that came up was that she promised me that she would never meet any one while I was not there. Now I know you could say â€œ ah but how do you know she wont anyway?â€ well this is were the whole â€˜strength of relationshipâ€™ thing comes in. frankly I donâ€™t, but I trust what she has told me because without that trust we simply do not have a relationship.
I would probably have trusted her not to anyway, but to hear her say the words made a huge difference
For me personally I think jealousy would be an issue if I thought she was in regular contact with these guys without my knowledge, or if she became over fond of any one of them, but all this has been discussed beforehand so at the moment we donâ€™t have any issues.
Be sure, try to imagine any circumstances under which you would become jealous and make sure that your partner knows what they are. Its no good saying â€œ I wish you hadnâ€™t of done x y or z â€œ after its too late.
Donâ€™t be shy about telling your partner excactly where your boundaries lye. And make sure you know hers as well (also insure that the third party is fully aware too) itâ€™s the little things that count, the first time we did it I did not like the idea of another guy kissing my wife ( yeah I know, go figure, dunno

I was young)
Its all in the detail
HTH
John

3 Jun 2005

The reality often comes home unexpectedly to one who most wanted the fantasy.
I had a call from one worried hubby when his wife went out with the girls.
So it comes with the territory.

3 Jun 2005

look tell you the truth i haven't read the others replies to your post redface

so i hope i don't repeat some one..if so you are welcome to smack me bum :twisted:
Well you really never no in fact till it happens!............... all i can say is get to no the man first..and i mean well
Ask as many Q's as you feel!
what about you swinging with a cpl?. have you ever considered that?
i mean whats good for the goose is good for the gander!
Debsxxxxxxx kiss

5 Jun 2005

Slightly off-topic? This thread reminds me of my 2 experiences, where I've questioned whether my real life experiences equals the same intensity as my still-very-strong fantasies being with another woman/couple. (Hmm, did that make sense, I feel like a hangover's GOT a hangover, even though I didn't drink anything last night) . Basically I found my 2 meetups with couples (mainly fem-fem) not exactly earth-moving as I always fantasised (for various reasons - shant go into them now). Chemistry and similar levels of decadant pleasure helps. For instance I'm looking for a bedroom whore, not a nicey nice sensual love-making session - that I leave for a real boy/girl emotional relationship. I guess I want to bring out the whore in me as a bi-fem/couple-shagger. (my quirk.) When I meet a couple (I'm a single fem), I'd expect the couple to be absolutely secure about the entire concept. I do not expect to feel guilt if one party is hurt or doubtful. I have been invited, and if there's a problem, it leaves the 3rd party (me) in an awkard position. (Especially if she's sitting on my face, as he's entering me, and they're kissing each other) - Imagine the awkward silence that leaves me! I couldnt get a word in edgeways anyway - my lips would be numb with another pair of lips on mine, LOL (sorry, I lost my thought, and it just got funny), hmmm, I feel like I need some strong black coffee.

5 Jun 2005

Quote by secretmaccamslag
Slightly off-topic? This thread reminds me of my 2 experiences, where I've questioned whether my real life experiences equals the same intensity as my still-very-strong fantasies being with another woman/couple. (Hmm, did that make sense, I feel like a hangover's GOT a hangover, even though I didn't drink anything last night) . Basically I found my 2 meetups with couples (mainly fem-fem) not exactly earth-moving as I always fantasised (for various reasons - shant go into them now). Chemistry and similar levels of decadant pleasure helps. For instance I'm looking for a bedroom whore, not a nicey nice sensual love-making session - that I leave for a real boy/girl emotional relationship. I guess I want to bring out the whore in me as a bi-fem/couple-shagger. (my quirk.) When I meet a couple (I'm a single fem), I'd expect the couple to be absolutely secure about the entire concept. I do not expect to feel guilt if one party is hurt or doubtful. I have been invited, and if there's a problem, it leaves the 3rd party (me) in an awkard position. (Especially if she's sitting on my face, as he's entering me, and they're kissing each other) - Imagine the awkward silence that leaves me! I couldnt get a word in edgeways anyway - my lips would be numb with another pair of lips on mine, LOL (sorry, I lost my thought, and it just got funny), hmmm, I feel like I need some strong black coffee.

oh bugger wheres me feckin hanky .................... again redface

:roll:

5 Jun 2005

Hanky? Are you by any chance eating those 'Gentleman's Crisps'? We call 'em tissue round here.

5 Jun 2005

I joined SH as part of a couple and thought I would be ok - when it came near to our first actual swap, I backed out as I couldn't cope with the idea of him with another woman, plus when asked how he felt about me with another man he just said "ok", so it turned out he just needed an excuse to shag other women.
Now I have been to my first party, partnering someone I met through SH and my feelings were totally different. Watching him being given a blow job while I was being shagged by someone else was amazing.
Swinging is a very pleasurable experience, only if you both trust each other and equally want to enjoy it.
Good luck
Bustylady40 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

5 Jun 2005

Quote by secretmaccamslag
Hanky? Are you by any chance eating those 'Gentleman's Crisps'? We call 'em tissue round here.

ops: :oops: :oops: Not Tellin :gagged: :gagged: :gagged: :gagged:
:twisted:
blast

5 Jun 2005

..tread very carefully. Buy The Ethical Slut...fantastic book that's almost a step by step guide to swinging and dealing with sexual jealousy.
Good luck m8

5 Jun 2005

I, the Lady, was the first to divulge my fantasy of being with 2 guys to my partner ages ago, and it was one of the best things I've done, as it opened the floodgates and we haven't looked back.
We had an amazing experiance on our first time and he was so turned on by it he had a permanent hard-on for hours afterwards that could only be described as if an 18 year old had took 2 viagra pills. It exceeded my expectations and as I said we have since done more- than 3-somes, with girls and boys, and hit the swinging scene.
However, I would have kept it striclty as bedroom talk if he had had any reservations whatsoever, as I think there is no way you can enter these sorts of things without both being 100% 'up for it' otherwise it just ain't worth bothering!!