Does your family know?

12 Sep 2005

ok here is the questions
Does your family know about you being into swinging
And does your family know about you being bi/gay or anything else that tickles your fancy...
What do you think they would be like or say or even do if they did find out?
Personaly i think my family would have the shock of there lifes and be quite mad at me if mine found out more my farther than anything lol

I am sure they would come round eventually though smile

The reason i am asking is cause i would like to tell my family but want to have all the answers to there questions before hand confused

Sooooooo the more ammo the better, i will note all responses then if there good enough i might just ring them in a few days and let them know then i will come back and tell you roughly if the approved or not redface

Sharon xx

12 Sep 2005

I dont know what to say to assist you but good look with it anyway :thumbup:

12 Sep 2005

thanks sexyfella i will need it lol

Maybe a bottle or 3 of sherry my help first then i could blurt it out just as i'm about to pass out on the floor :lol:

12 Sep 2005

:shock: hell no lol

its my fun my life you can be honest but im not crazy crazy hehe.

12 Sep 2005

we`ll neither of our families nor our kids know and would prefer they didnt,its our fun times so there is no need for any family to know,as far as telling them well we wouldnt but if we were then i`d get them pissed first so u could always say u told them and if they dont remember and someone tells well u can say" bloody told you last time we had a drink"lol

12 Sep 2005

Quote by sharon_2005
ok here is the questions
Does your family know about you being into swinging
And does your family know about you being bi/gay or anything else that tickles your fancy...
What do you think they would be like or say or even do if they did find out?
Personaly i think my family would have the shock of there lifes and be quite mad at me if mine found out more my farther than anything
I am sure they would come round eventually though
The reason i am asking is cause i would like to tell my family but want to have all the answers to there questions before hand
Sooooooo the more ammo the better, i will note all responses then if there good enough i might just ring them in a few days and let them know then i will come back and tell you roughly if the approved or not
Sharon xx

my answers Sharon are quite simply:
Nope
Nope
and Nope!
I did try to tell my sister once but all she wanted to know was if Kat was happy about me being Bi rolleyes

:roll: :shock: :?
that conversation has never been mentioned again
Now is she cool or what??????? :lol: :lol: :roll:

12 Sep 2005

my mum, my sister and my brother knows, my sister though it was great and wanted me to take her to a club i didn't tho felt to wierd i just told her out right we have always been close and shes bi anyway, well i suppose we just tell each other everything so wasn't a thing i decided on doing i just told her when we was thinking about it and when we had tryed it etc, my brother didn't even show any interest, as he never does, he usually just grunts from behind the PC :lol: my mum found out by accident, she was horrified and its something thats there but just not spoken about, she blamed my dad for giving us dodgy genes cause she just couldn't understand why her two daughters was bi :lol: and she still insists we will grow out of it and its just a phase, she did ask why we had sex with other people and asked if was having problems in our marrage but i just said no its just something we enjoy doing to make sex more exciting, it was never talked about again :lol: :lol: :lol:
And theres no way we would ever tell pauls family it would kill them :lol: :lol:

12 Sep 2005

My mum don't know, yet!
But if she finds out, I don't really care what she thinks. It's my life, my fun and that's that.
My mother's a right misery ass, so if she found out she'd prolly say, I'm a stupid idiot, I should save my money and grow up...... but like I said, I don't care what she thinks, it's my life, simple as.

12 Sep 2005

Hi Sharon,
im curious why you feel its important to share this info with your parents.
Ist there a chance they are going to be shocked and upset, and this may affect your relationship with them. I'm not sure I would feel the need to upset the apple cart. What they dont know cant hurt them. There is so much my parents dont know about my life, and its not at all like I am ashamed and have anything to hide, but I cannot see how it can be for their benefit to know information that may just confuse and upset them.
Obviously we are all different and what is right for one is maybe not right for another.
I would just ask yourself why you feel the need to tell them this info. Is it for your benefit or for theirs?
Good luck with whatever you decide to do though.
Fluffer
x

12 Sep 2005

The main reason being is because i would rather tell them myself than they find out from a 3rd party.
If they was to find out from a 3rd party themselfs they may feel i don't trust them enough to tell them myself and feel bad, plus if i was to tell them myself then i would be ready with any questions they may ask rather than be caught of guard confused

12 Sep 2005

Quote by sharon_2005
The main reason being is because i would rather tell them myself than they find out from a 3rd party.
If they was to find out from a 3rd party themselfs they may feel i don't trust them enough to tell them myself and feel bad, plus if i was to tell them myself then i would be ready with any questions they may ask rather than be caught of guard

Yeah, I can understand that one. I suppose it depends on how closely your lives are intertwined. I can't see at all how my parents could find out but then my lifestyle may well be very different from yours. I am very close to my parents but they don't ever just land on my doorstep and they dont live just round the corner.
Are you concerned a party involved may have some distant links with your parents socially and word would travel back? I would like to think that most people involved in the scene would be as discrete as possible, buy I may well be a bit naive with that thought.

12 Sep 2005

I don't talk about my sex life with my family. Never have up to now so I don't think they'd appreciate knowing about it dunno

12 Sep 2005

all i can say is you will know when you have to tell them. you will know when it feels right. just tell them the truth and tell them that you enjoy it, just tell them how it is. if they dont agree then then owell, they oviously cant love you that much if they cant stand by you for something you like to do.
hope i helped which i doubt i prob did

12 Sep 2005

Quote by Angel Chat
I don't talk about my sex life with my family. Never have up to now so I don't think they'd appreciate knowing about it

I feel the same about mum but as i said she found out by accident, i have left a strap on on the bed one night when she was baby sitting and she asked me about it so i had to tell her

12 Sep 2005

Yeah southport_lad that is a help actually it helps alot..
if they do love me then they should stand by me smile

And find me a sexy arse female to have fun with :twisted: lol

Spose thats hoping a little to much :lol:

12 Sep 2005

naughtynymphos1 wrote:

I feel the same about mum but as i said she found out by accident, i have left a strap on on the bed one night when she was baby sitting and she asked me about it so i had to tell her

You see thats what i don't want to happen, i want to be ready with the answers and not be stuttering when questions are asked :lol:

12 Sep 2005

fluffer wrote:

Yeah, I can understand that one. I suppose it depends on how closely your lives are intertwined. I can't see at all how my parents could find out but then my lifestyle may well be very different from yours. I am very close to my parents but they don't ever just land on my doorstep and they dont live just round the corner.
Are you concerned a party involved may have some distant links with your parents socially and word would travel back? I would like to think that most people involved in the scene would be as discrete as possible, buy I may well be a bit naive with that thought.

Most of my friends now know i am bi and some of my friends know my family so eventually one of my friends might just blab it out confused

I would just rather tell them myself as i think its the right thing to do in my case...
And i was just wondering how a few others on here might go about telling there family redface

12 Sep 2005

My wife and I don't discuss our sex lifes with our families. Our attitude is that if they found out that we swing. If they have a problem with that,then it is there problem not ours.

12 Sep 2005

How would you feel if your parents came to you and told you about some sexual antics they are now into? You may be more open minded than some but it may still put you on the spot... and they may feel the same if you did it to them.
Unless you have some overwhelming need to tell them, or are afraid it'll get back to them, like you say, I can't see how anything will be gained from them knowing.
Totally up to you though...... and would be interesting to know IF you do.....

12 Sep 2005

Quote by postie
How would you feel if your parents came to you and told you about some sexual antics they are now into? You may be more open minded than some but it may still put you on the spot... and they may feel the same if you did it to them

I really wouldn't care if my parents were to tell me they were swingers or anything else dunno

I'd ask them where they go for fun on the off chance they know more places than me :rascal:
We hide our swinging from our parents purely because I don't know how easy we would get child sitters if they knew rolleyes

However, I think they have a good idea from the odd comment that has come out in passing. Even if they do know, I'm not worried. Ian and I are happy with what we do which is the most important thing biggrin

13 Sep 2005

Postie, what you said has put my mind at ease like you wouldn't realize. Seeing it from my mum's perspective (or anyones for the matter) makes staying in the pseudo-bi-closet easier and far less conscience damning for me!
I guess I'm already lucky in a way though, I don't have to bother explaining it to my dad, since he already decided he didn't want to know me bout 10 years ago! :cheers: And my mum I know would support me fully, as she's been through it with her brother (my uncle) who is gay, and she was very supportive of him. My two brothers would take some time to convince...
My friends however are another story, most of them are, I'm afraid to say, homophobic. Most of the time it's a non-issue, but the occasional comment here and there turns my stomach inside out, and if I ever settled on a non-straight sexuality and came out, I know they would probably phase me out of the group... It's not even worth thinking about. They are the best friends I could ever hope for in every other way, and are the reason I survived my teenage years and came out the other end with shit loads of great stories to tell... But it's just this one, teeny, tiny thing that could rip it apart sad

Woe is me.
Andy

13 Sep 2005

Neither of our families or vanilla friends know, the main reason for this is that my swinging lifestyle is for me to express myself and fullfill my sexual desires. I quite like the idea that its my naughty little secret :rascal: and an escape from the vanilla world.
Exploring my sexual journey obviously benefits me wink

Dino`s journey, our relationship :love: and all other aspects of our life because we are honest, open and best of all, we are discovering each other on deeper levels, physically, spiritually and emotionally.
If our families knew, this would only bring negative, unwanted, judge-mental remarks and thoughts. This would damage, but not stop our sexual journey together and that would be very sad sad

Plus i cant help myself dunno

getting a sexual thrill :bounce: from it being our naughty, sneaky, horny secret he he he innocent

Also we feel that it would be a fruitless waste of our time rolleyes

trying to explain our reasons and actions, when this time and effect could be better spent shagging rotflmao

13 Sep 2005

In a word NO but close friends do :twisted:

13 Sep 2005

Mine don't know. This is one of the paradoxes of alternative lifestyles. They can bring liberation but become another burden as well.
Unless there is a very good reason and it is beneficial to all concerned, there really is very little to be gained from telling anyone who would be happy enough not to know.
However, you are the most concerned about the lifestyle you are living. If telling everyone else helps clear your worries, it may appear selfish and indulgent to the people you tell. Presumably you took on the lifestyle without any of your family's knowledge?
So consider a bit deeper the consequences of your actions. It may compromise your own well being.

13 Sep 2005

Quote by duncanlondon
This is one of the paradoxes of alternative lifestyles..

Cheers

ill steal and use that line :small-print: bolt

13 Sep 2005

Quote by Randy_Andy21
My friends however are another story, most of them are, I'm afraid to say, homophobic. Most of the time it's a non-issue, but the occasional comment here and there turns my stomach inside out, and if I ever settled on a non-straight sexuality and came out, I know they would probably phase me out of the group... It's not even worth thinking about. They are the best friends I could ever hope for in every other way, and are the reason I survived my teenage years and came out the other end with shit loads of great stories to tell... But it's just this one, teeny, tiny thing that could rip it apart
Woe is me.
Andy

Whoa on the woe there Andy.... I don't mean to get deep and personal, but I hope being bisexual isn't upsetting to you. It reads a bit like that to me, especially if you feel like you may lose your gang of mates, if they discovered your secret... where you stick your cock is no business of theirs, as it is none of your business as to what they do.
I am not going to say "they can't be true friends" if they don't accept you for who you are, because I don't believe that. I agree with what you say, as some of my very good mates are homophobic/ racist tossers, still have a laugh and a joke and get pissed with them. They know I am straight and (obviously) white, and they also know if they come out with something bollox about homosexuality or racist, I will tell them they are out of order. Doesn't stop them doing it though as it's "just them"...
All I can say I guess is, that if it does become known amongst your friends, that you like it both ways wink

, you may find out your mates deep down accept you as you are. If they don't, you may have to accept things change and move on. Or maybe explain it doesn't make you any different than you were the day before, that you have sat there for years listening to them talk crap... and YOU were the one who is prepared to tolerate THEIR disgusting attitudes (to homosexuality) without judging them, so extend the same decency... being upfront may be the best option, IF it becomes known.

13 Sep 2005

Quote by postie

My friends however are another story, most of them are, I'm afraid to say, homophobic. Most of the time it's a non-issue, but the occasional comment here and there turns my stomach inside out, and if I ever settled on a non-straight sexuality and came out, I know they would probably phase me out of the group... It's not even worth thinking about. They are the best friends I could ever hope for in every other way, and are the reason I survived my teenage years and came out the other end with shit loads of great stories to tell... But it's just this one, teeny, tiny thing that could rip it apart
Woe is me.
Andy

Whoa on the woe there Andy.... I don't mean to get deep and personal, but I hope being bisexual isn't upsetting to you. It reads a bit like that to me, especially if you feel like you may lose your gang of mates, if they discovered your secret... where you stick your cock is no business of theirs, as it is none of your business as to what they do.
I am not going to say "they can't be true friends" if they don't accept you for who you are, because I don't believe that. I agree with what you say, as some of my very good mates are homophobic/ racist tossers, still have a laugh and a joke and get pissed with them. They know I am straight and (obviously) white, and they also know if they come out with something bollox about homosexuality or racist, I will tell them they are out of order. Doesn't stop them doing it though as it's "just them"...
All I can say I guess is, that if it does become known amongst your friends, that you like it both ways wink

, you may find out your mates deep down accept you as you are. If they don't, you may have to accept things change and move on. Or maybe explain it doesn't make you any different than you were the day before, that you have sat there for years listening to them talk crap... and YOU were the one who is prepared to tolerate THEIR disgusting attitudes (to homosexuality) without judging them, so extend the same decency... being upfront may be the best option, IF it becomes known.
i have to say that a true friend would not turn their back on you just cause of who you choose to haver sex with, if you fear being bi in cause your m8s find out and turned their backs on u i would suggest new m8s

13 Sep 2005

Maybe, just maybe the're at it and never got round to telling you!

13 Sep 2005

I think the 2 eldest of our brood probably do, they are constantly on the net and I would be very surprised if they havenâ€™t rumbled us. rolleyes

As for friends, no way, if it got out at work it would mean instant dismissal (conduct likely to bring the service into disrepute or some such crap) :small-print:
Parents? They would simply die, very Victorian, upright pillars of the community and all that. :jagsatwork:
Neighbours? donâ€™t think they would give a dam one way or the other, would set a few tongues waggin down the local though drinkies

:cheers: :scared: rotflmao

13 Sep 2005

hiya
my family knows well my step sis seen my profile on this site and instead of her keeping her mouth shut she went and told my 3 bro's and my sister
there cool with it just said make sure kids dont find out
which my kids havent up to now hopes there never find out neither
thanks jo x