No idea where this came from but we had a bottle in the play basket. Alex said she never bought it and I can't remember buying it but it was sat there.
So today we got it out and thought.......mmmmmmm a bit of heat and tingle. This sounds good.
It gets applied and then about 5 minutes later Alex is heading for the shower with her lady bits on fire and me lying on the bed blowing like mad on my little fellah.
What the feck have they put in this stuff???? Hydro-bloody-chloric acid?????
Being the gentleman I had let Alex head to the shower first........and while sat there I rubbed the inside of my nose. Wrong fecking move. As well as having my little fellah on fire.......now my nose has ignited. My eyes are streaming and I don't know what to do to stop this heat. These bloody bottles should have a lable on it saying:
"DO NOT SELL TO DAVE_NOTTS"
Dave_Notts
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Durex Tingle Lube
Sex God
Quote by BIoke
Two pals of mine got frisky while preparing food for a dinner party.. they found out about 30 minutes later that #1 rule is don't play with bumholes when you've been chopping chillis :shock:
OUCH!!!!!!
Quote by BIoke
sounds like a good session.... put it on your bum hole next time
Two pals of mine got frisky while preparing food for a dinner party.. they found out about 30 minutes later that #1 rule is don't play with bumholes when you've been chopping chillis :shock:
As a caterer i can fully understand, it's the first thing you get taught at chef school
Quote by Sexonfire
As a caterer i can fully understand, it's the first thing you get taught at chef school
What is?
'Don't shove your fingers up your boyfriend's arse when you've got chilli under your fingernails?'
:rascal:
something to that effect.... serious... maybe a little more hetro
And does your name reflect the fact that you had to try it to make sure? :twisted:
Warming the Bed
The most common substance used to produce a tingle is hexachlorophine.
It's what is in some toothastes.
BTW what are you going to do with the rest of it. Sell it to a chef lol
It's what is in some toothastes.
BTW what are you going to do with the rest of it. Sell it to a chef lol
Dave we used a well known body lotion once to give each other a massage, then got a bit frisky.
Hubby had the same reaction
We wondered why he had to run his bits under cool water for 30 mins to cool them down, then I realised it had ginger in it used to stimulate nerve ends.
Well it had that effect!
:lol:
Hubby had the same reaction
We wondered why he had to run his bits under cool water for 30 mins to cool them down, then I realised it had ginger in it used to stimulate nerve ends.
Well it had that effect!
:lol: 
Sex God
we have found that durex heat is worse than the durex tingle which is a cool sensation where as the durex heat is more ermmm spicy .. advice that i can give is to try them both but not direct on sensitive parts first. try rubbing a small amount on your lips to see what sensation you get and also if its too much sensation at least your sensitive bits have not been compromised
Sex God
Dave you wuss, that tingle stuff's nowt! 
Gem and I were unfortunate enough to mistake a tube of Forever Living Aloe Vera gel, which made quite nice lube, with a Forever Living Aloe Vera Deep Heat gel, which just happens to come in a near identical tube. Well I say Gem and I, but it was more my mistake truth be told, strictly speaking. Gem's part in it was mainly of the 'suffer the consequences of my stupidity' variety after I'd quite liberally applied the stuff to my knob and . . . well . . . I'll leave out the explicit details, but you get the picture? :shock: An easy mistake to make in the dark I'm sure you'll agree, and there really was no need for the absolute torrent of abuse I was made to endure while she hosed herself down, leaving me in some distress fanning my glowing balls with nothing more than the Observer colour supplement . . .
N x x x ;)
Gem and I were unfortunate enough to mistake a tube of Forever Living Aloe Vera gel, which made quite nice lube, with a Forever Living Aloe Vera Deep Heat gel, which just happens to come in a near identical tube. Well I say Gem and I, but it was more my mistake truth be told, strictly speaking. Gem's part in it was mainly of the 'suffer the consequences of my stupidity' variety after I'd quite liberally applied the stuff to my knob and . . . well . . . I'll leave out the explicit details, but you get the picture? :shock: An easy mistake to make in the dark I'm sure you'll agree, and there really was no need for the absolute torrent of abuse I was made to endure while she hosed herself down, leaving me in some distress fanning my glowing balls with nothing more than the Observer colour supplement . . . N x x x ;)
Quote by BIoke
sounds like a good session.... put it on your bum hole next time
Two pals of mine got frisky while preparing food for a dinner party.. they found out about 30 minutes later that #1 rule is don't play with bumholes when you've been chopping chillis :shock:
If they didnt have the sense to wash their hands before playing with each other I hope that they had sense to wash their hands after playing with each other before finishing the food! :wink:
Quote by Dave__Notts
No idea where this came from but we had a bottle in the play basket. Alex said she never bought it and I can't remember buying it but it was sat there.
So today we got it out and thought.......mmmmmmm a bit of heat and tingle. This sounds good.
It gets applied and then about 5 minutes later Alex is heading for the shower with her lady bits on fire and me lying on the bed blowing like mad on my little fellah.
What the feck have they put in this stuff???? Hydro-bloody-chloric acid?????
Being the gentleman I had let Alex head to the shower first........and while sat there I rubbed the inside of my nose. Wrong fecking move. As well as having my little fellah on fire.......now my nose has ignited. My eyes are streaming and I don't know what to do to stop this heat. These bloody bottles should have a lable on it saying:
"DO NOT SELL TO DAVE_NOTTS"
oh my god that's funny!
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Quote by Dave__Notts
No idea where this came from but we had a bottle in the play basket. Alex said she never bought it and I can't remember buying it but it was sat there.
...............
What the feck have they put in this stuff???? Hydro-bloody-chloric acid?????
etc
Dave_Notts
Do you suspect sabotage of your play basket?
Oh, and if you've had toothache and been using clove oil to kill the pain, don't rub it anywhere sensitive
Orgasminator
Another side effect of Durex lube is that it removes nail varnish... GT and I were startled to discover red smears all over the sheets after one particular lusty session a few years back. We were both relieved to discover that it was just nail varnish until we then wondered if it can remove nail varnish then why the heck would we want to put it on our cheeky bits! We didn't use it after that...
We did contact Durex to let them know but they were not in the least bit interested.
We did contact Durex to let them know but they were not in the least bit interested.
