Hello, I've recently been to a local Spa club and enjoyed it very much as a first timer. It was late when I arrived (around 12:30am) and didn't have long before closing. However, the staff in the club were very friendly and accommodating, as were those people in the club that I spoke to.
I'd had a few drinks prior to arrival and so I was less inhibited than I would otherwise have been and as there weren't many people there at that time of night I pretty much made a point of at least saying hello to most people there....feeling that I was in someone else's 'space' as it was a club and I was new to it. I suspect that I may have come across as a bit of a plonker but at least I was a friendly one lol !
My broad question is this...
What's the appropriate etiquette at a place like that for having fun ? The 'chatting up' that I'd usually expect witht he girls in a pub (for example) seems a little superfluous as, when all is said and done, the kit is already off for all concerned. But is that the wrong idea ?...I'd really appreciate some advice from girls and husbands as, although I enjoyed being there, it felt like a bit of a minefield as I'd really hate to think that I was offending anyone when its so obviously a situation where you want to engage in a good way. I sort of felt that some non-pushy flirting was acceptable but at the same time I was gagging for some fun...life's dilemma for all of us I guess but in a very different situation and setting
No doubt some who bother to answer may feel obliged to pour scorn...but this is a genuine enquiry from a 55year old who'd like some fun in a place like that now that an existing relationship is heading down the pan.
I'm a genuine chap so hopefully I may receive some useful and genuine replies, thanks.
Mick
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etiquette for clubs ?
One word covers etiquette for all occasions, all situations, life itself.
RESPECT
Treat everyone with respect, some may prove to be unworthy of it but for the most part it has set me in good stead in all situations and certainly in the swinging lifestyle.
I always respect those I around me, I never push and always wait for a signal, better to miss out because I could have made a move without a signal than offend someone by overstepping the mark, signals come in various forms, a spoken invitation to join in, a knowing smile, a nod or a wink, over the years I believe I have come to know when the sign has been an invitation and when someone is just being pleasant but I still approach things gently and slowly in case I have misunderstood.
I believe this attitude has led to me having more fun and often when others have been rejected because they don't understand what it means to show respect.
RESPECT
Treat everyone with respect, some may prove to be unworthy of it but for the most part it has set me in good stead in all situations and certainly in the swinging lifestyle.
I always respect those I around me, I never push and always wait for a signal, better to miss out because I could have made a move without a signal than offend someone by overstepping the mark, signals come in various forms, a spoken invitation to join in, a knowing smile, a nod or a wink, over the years I believe I have come to know when the sign has been an invitation and when someone is just being pleasant but I still approach things gently and slowly in case I have misunderstood.
I believe this attitude has led to me having more fun and often when others have been rejected because they don't understand what it means to show respect.
Warming the Bed
I totally agree with the response from Midscouple, respect is key to everything.
One line from your post particularly caught my attention.
"The 'chatting up' that I'd usually expect witht he girls in a pub (for example) seems a little superfluous as, when all is said and done, the kit is already off for all concerned. But is that the wrong idea ?..."
As a single fem I would still expect a bit of 'chatting up' just because my kit is off does not mean I am going to shag every man that enters the place. You would still have to appeal to my mind before you ever get near the body. (unless you are a clone of Gerrard Butler in which case keep your mouth shut and let me fulfil my fantasy).
That said...if you're over friendly and invaded my personal space by putting hands on me you would get a very quick sharp rebuke. I would let you know I was interested by putting my hand on you in a friendly gesture first while chatting.
In a similar way if I walk away without asking you to come with me this is a gentle "not interested" so don't be a nuisance and follow me!
Since you've said you had a few drinks before you got there and was a little over exubriant this would also qualify for a 'not a chance' conversation or "walk away" from me as if I wanted sex with a drunk stranger I would be down the local pub!!
Remember people go for specific reasons, exhibitionism, voyeurism, groups, bisexual experiences the list is endless. Just because my kit is off does not necessarily mean I want straight sex with a single guy. (In my case its not what I am at a club for)so you will have to wait for the cues, the friendly hands on, the request to have a little walk the wink and nod.
Hope that helps a little xx
One line from your post particularly caught my attention.
"The 'chatting up' that I'd usually expect witht he girls in a pub (for example) seems a little superfluous as, when all is said and done, the kit is already off for all concerned. But is that the wrong idea ?..."
As a single fem I would still expect a bit of 'chatting up' just because my kit is off does not mean I am going to shag every man that enters the place. You would still have to appeal to my mind before you ever get near the body. (unless you are a clone of Gerrard Butler in which case keep your mouth shut and let me fulfil my fantasy).
That said...if you're over friendly and invaded my personal space by putting hands on me you would get a very quick sharp rebuke. I would let you know I was interested by putting my hand on you in a friendly gesture first while chatting.
In a similar way if I walk away without asking you to come with me this is a gentle "not interested" so don't be a nuisance and follow me!
Since you've said you had a few drinks before you got there and was a little over exubriant this would also qualify for a 'not a chance' conversation or "walk away" from me as if I wanted sex with a drunk stranger I would be down the local pub!!
Remember people go for specific reasons, exhibitionism, voyeurism, groups, bisexual experiences the list is endless. Just because my kit is off does not necessarily mean I want straight sex with a single guy. (In my case its not what I am at a club for)so you will have to wait for the cues, the friendly hands on, the request to have a little walk the wink and nod.
Hope that helps a little xx
Sex God
Some good advice already, and you'd be a fool to dismiss it.
