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Euro - English announced by European Commision

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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby
English will be the official language of the European Union rather
than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-
year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this
will
make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the
languag
is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl
riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in
ze forst plas.
pmsl!!!!
Pure Genius!
Fantastic Cisco...
where on earth did you find that one
Very good!
I've been told English is the hardest language to master! banghead
Our language is a joke but its our language so KEEP OFF EUROPE!
flipa
MR & MRS goodtimez
This is THE funniest thread I've read in a bloody long time...... thanks for cheering me up...... hold on.... I wasn't down anyway .... hehehe ............... thanks for the laugh then ......... I am seriously pissing myself here.
:giggle: :giggle: :giggle: rotflmao :rotflmao: :rotflmao: Made my day
:giggle: :giggle: :giggle: lol :lol: absolutely fantastic
Das war wunderbar! Ich lachen meinen kopf los... und ich pissen meine lederhosen!!
Quote by postie
Das war wunderbar! Ich lachen meinen kopf los... und ich pissen meine lederhosen!!

:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
You have lederhosen????
Been holding out on me eh???
Alright wishmaster.. we need to convene... lederhosen.. gotta be sumfin in our charter bout that!!!!
duel :duel: :duel: :duel: :duel:
lol
Just took me 20 minutes to find this one about time and dates >>>>
Link saved for another time and another day.
Follows on from this thread = Metric Time Working
Fred
Quote by CiscoCat6k
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby
English will be the official language of the European Union rather
than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-
year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this
will
make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the
languag
is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl
riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in
ze forst plas.

wow very funny biggrin
Das war sehr gut mein herr,
rolleyes
Quote by CiscoCat6k
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the
languag
is disgrasful and it should go away.
.

Ooeeerrrr sounds like one of my txts lol :lol:
Quote by JucyLucy

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the
languag
is disgrasful and it should go away.
.

Ooeeerrrr sounds like one of my txts lol :lol:
Gawd I think i am in love... will you lust with me JuicyLucy???
:inlove: :inlove: :inlove: :inlove:
Hahah, absolutely superb.
Absolutely brilliant worship
lol :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Jas
XXX
rofl i haven't heard that one in ages.
first heard it about 6 years ago in an Email from one of my mates in London ... was doing the rounds around the civil service at the time lol ( he worked in the treasury too lol )
Davie lol
Ok OK.. just wondering... is there ANYWHERE that i can store pics to be called from here?
I know its been done before but thought someone might drop me a clue here.
Cheers
That really was most excellent - try posting it to UKIP, and see how quick it gets reported in the Sun and Daily Mail! :thumbup:
Quote by smokerjim
That really was most excellent - try posting it to UKIP, and see how quick it gets reported in the Sun and Daily Mail! :thumbup:

**me thinks bout that with evil glint in me eye*
:twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Fluckin' 'ell - I will not be responsible for killing this thread. It's brilliant!
Somebody help kill it off for me - Mike!!!
Quote by westerross
Fluckin' 'ell - I will not be responsible for killing this thread. It's brilliant!
Somebody help kill it off for me - Mike!!!

:shock: :shock: :shock:
Kill??? You need a hitman????
Thanks for the laugh, it had bee a while since I last looked up that classic (attributed to either Mark Twain or M.J. Shields depending on who you ask).
If anyone want to see the original google for "plan for the improvement of english spelling".
Quote by CiscoCat6k
Fluckin' 'ell - I will not be responsible for killing this thread. It's brilliant!
Somebody help kill it off for me - Mike!!!

:shock: :shock: :shock:
Kill??? You need a hitman????
rotflmao You obviously haven't heard of the thread-killers club on here!! Mike North is the President, I'm Chairman.......and so the list goes on...
Prez here....kill kill! lol :lol:
Quote by MikeNorth
Prez here....kill kill! lol :lol:

:shock: :shock:
Prez?/??? Looks like chicken legs to me
:giggle: :giggle: :giggle: :giggle: