My heart goes out to all who have suffered the consequences of such a vile and reprehensible act. May you all be granted the necessary strength to come through your ordeal.
Those that have such a callous disregard for the sanctity of human life will one day stand accountable for their actions.
They may break our bones and break our hearts but they will never break our spirit.
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Explosion in London
Firstly, thank you to all the Londoners who have posted - at least we know you are
ok.
My attempts to phone a close (non-Forum) friend yesterday were futile - the
networks were clogged. Then she phoned me back - to say she and her partner
had just had a baby . . .
(words fail me!!!) :-))))))
But then for all my friends who are ok, there are many, many people in
London who have been killed horribly, or maimed, or suffered the loss of a
love one. My heart goes out to them. If there is anyone on the Forum who has
suffered the loss of someone in these explosions, and needs a listening ear (even if it's
months from now), please feel free to phone me.
I saw a beautiful (Muslim, as it happened) quote this evening that moved me
with a quiet joy. I'd like to share it:
(from a cemetery near Srebrenica, scene of mass killings, in the Balkans)
"May revenge be turned to justice, may mothers' tears be turned into prayers
that there may be no more Srebrenicas."
There is a quiet calm of acceptance, I think, one where you still take
sensible measures/precautions, but one which only really comes to you with
the perception that at some point there may be nothing you can do. One day
you will die. One day you may be hit by a bolt of lightning. There is not
always someone to blame . . .
Sometimes there *is* someone to blame, but blame, anger, outrage, desire for
revenge, are all closely linked I feel. They are part of the psychological
process that goes with loss of some kind. People that are able to step back
and deal with their own trauma first, before taking action (or giving too much public vent to strong feelings such as those) are often not only the people who take the more sensible action eventually but much greater people for coming to an acceptance of themselves (and maybe of their own immortality or relative 'helplessness').
Strong emotions cloud judgement. We saw that with 9/11, inasmuch the main
response had little to do with either with catching the perpetrators or
making America / the world a safer place.
Yet in some ways I feel so much closer to Americans who had to suffer the
horrors of 9/11. Even if we weren't personally affected by the London
bombings or the (unimaginably greater scale) of 9/11, there is a sense of
loss, a sense of invasion of one's home, one's being, one's sanctity of the
ability to live one's life in peace.
The challenge I think is to treat it as a learning opportunity. Firstly, how
do we deal with it psychologically, on an individual level. That is very
challenging. It is quite possible that there *is* no sure way of 'defeating'
terrorists. Perhaps they are a fact of life. If we come to that conclusion,
then it is the *second* step to say, what are prudent measures, solidly
linked to firm logic, that can be taken, to minimize future suffering?
It is too soon to see if our government will take a lead in such a direction
(and without being overshadowed by the considerably less effectiveness of
U.S./populist knee-jerk reaction). I am not going to judge Blair, the Police
(or the Queen) for coming out with platitudes. The immediate need is to show
the people affected that you care / they care / *someone* cares. I don't
judge people who make jokes about it - doctors/surgeons use humour all the
time to cope with loss and dying and in an acceptable, sensible way (it was
well documented in the BMJ); there again, they don't do so in the hearing of
patients!
I'm going to break off this post now - I've just got an incoming email from
another Londoner I was worried about and want to go, 'thank goodness they're
ok' . . .
ok.
My attempts to phone a close (non-Forum) friend yesterday were futile - the
networks were clogged. Then she phoned me back - to say she and her partner
had just had a baby . . .
(words fail me!!!) :-))))))
But then for all my friends who are ok, there are many, many people in
London who have been killed horribly, or maimed, or suffered the loss of a
love one. My heart goes out to them. If there is anyone on the Forum who has
suffered the loss of someone in these explosions, and needs a listening ear (even if it's
months from now), please feel free to phone me.
I saw a beautiful (Muslim, as it happened) quote this evening that moved me
with a quiet joy. I'd like to share it:
(from a cemetery near Srebrenica, scene of mass killings, in the Balkans)
"May revenge be turned to justice, may mothers' tears be turned into prayers
that there may be no more Srebrenicas."
There is a quiet calm of acceptance, I think, one where you still take
sensible measures/precautions, but one which only really comes to you with
the perception that at some point there may be nothing you can do. One day
you will die. One day you may be hit by a bolt of lightning. There is not
always someone to blame . . .
Sometimes there *is* someone to blame, but blame, anger, outrage, desire for
revenge, are all closely linked I feel. They are part of the psychological
process that goes with loss of some kind. People that are able to step back
and deal with their own trauma first, before taking action (or giving too much public vent to strong feelings such as those) are often not only the people who take the more sensible action eventually but much greater people for coming to an acceptance of themselves (and maybe of their own immortality or relative 'helplessness').
Strong emotions cloud judgement. We saw that with 9/11, inasmuch the main
response had little to do with either with catching the perpetrators or
making America / the world a safer place.
Yet in some ways I feel so much closer to Americans who had to suffer the
horrors of 9/11. Even if we weren't personally affected by the London
bombings or the (unimaginably greater scale) of 9/11, there is a sense of
loss, a sense of invasion of one's home, one's being, one's sanctity of the
ability to live one's life in peace.
The challenge I think is to treat it as a learning opportunity. Firstly, how
do we deal with it psychologically, on an individual level. That is very
challenging. It is quite possible that there *is* no sure way of 'defeating'
terrorists. Perhaps they are a fact of life. If we come to that conclusion,
then it is the *second* step to say, what are prudent measures, solidly
linked to firm logic, that can be taken, to minimize future suffering?
It is too soon to see if our government will take a lead in such a direction
(and without being overshadowed by the considerably less effectiveness of
U.S./populist knee-jerk reaction). I am not going to judge Blair, the Police
(or the Queen) for coming out with platitudes. The immediate need is to show
the people affected that you care / they care / *someone* cares. I don't
judge people who make jokes about it - doctors/surgeons use humour all the
time to cope with loss and dying and in an acceptable, sensible way (it was
well documented in the BMJ); there again, they don't do so in the hearing of
patients!
I'm going to break off this post now - I've just got an incoming email from
another Londoner I was worried about and want to go, 'thank goodness they're
ok' . . .
Boi
If you find yourself needing to chat to anyone about what you are going through - feel free to PM me anytime you like - I went through similar years ago during my military career, and the one thing i learnt was if you bottle it up, and think you are coping, with no source to voice your thoughts and feelings - then PTSD may just be around the corner for you! Personally speaking - if i Knew back then, what i know now - i'd take the talking opportunity over the other - it really began to F**k my mind and life up!
anyway - as i say - if you need to talk, about ANYTHING, at ANYTIME - no matter how stupid or irrelevant it might seem to you. = just hit that PM button!
Kevin
If you find yourself needing to chat to anyone about what you are going through - feel free to PM me anytime you like - I went through similar years ago during my military career, and the one thing i learnt was if you bottle it up, and think you are coping, with no source to voice your thoughts and feelings - then PTSD may just be around the corner for you! Personally speaking - if i Knew back then, what i know now - i'd take the talking opportunity over the other - it really began to F**k my mind and life up!
anyway - as i say - if you need to talk, about ANYTHING, at ANYTIME - no matter how stupid or irrelevant it might seem to you. = just hit that PM button!
Kevin
