Face book and kids

5 Dec 2009

Might be a hypothetical situation but. say you had a 14yr oldish daughter who was on facebook and like most kids they like to do all the little things on there and chat with their mates and stuff, dont they? well if you clicked onto your dauhters profike to see one of her mates had put a poll up saying "Would you have *****(name daugter) as a fuckbuddy, would you think this acceptable? Would you try and chat about it with your daughter, who is saying its OK to post these sorts of things up, and at least its not bullying, would the hypothetical dad be right in saying its being a little bit over the top for public display and asking for it to be removed?
Kids ...damned whatever you do or dont.

5 Dec 2009

Facebook have an AUP the same as most other sites. IMHO something like that is not acceptable behaviour for kids of that age and should be reported/deleted.
That said, I haven't let my 10 y/o anywhere near having a Facebook account, even though all her friends seem to be on there. rolleyes

But then again she hasn't got a phone either - until she starts to go places without trusted adults I don't think she needs one.
We recently got told about a case where a youngster's Facebook account had been "hacked" and someone was posting indecent messages to all his friends. I blame the parents myself.

5 Dec 2009

Quote by Cubes
Facebook have an AUP the same as most other sites. IMHO something like that is not acceptable behaviour for kids of that age and should be reported/deleted.
That said, I haven't let my 10 y/o anywhere near having a Facebook account, even though all her friends seem to be on there. But then again she hasn't got a phone either - until she starts to go places without trusted adults I don't think she needs one.
We recently got told about a case where a youngster's Facebook account had been "hacked" and someone was posting indecent messages to all his friends. I blame the parents myself.

Thats a bit rough cubes :sad: what can yu do if the local library lets kids have access to Pc's or they have sleepovers with mates etc - cant stop them signing up to these things and to blame the parents is a bit stiff aint it mate?

5 Dec 2009

Fair point, but in this case the parents were responsible. Facebook have a minimum age (13 I think) and just the week before they'd been telling us how their little darling was responsible enough to have an account at 10. Then he went and gave his password out to someone he didn't really know so when they had to phone up all his friend's parents to apologise they regretted letting him have access.

6 Dec 2009

My daughter is 14 and she goes on facebook and I don't know what she gets up to but I trust her to make the right decisions in life. If we give our children you right tools they can do the rightjob..........as me mum used to say....... lol

7 Dec 2009

i have 3 daughters who all use face book and believe me ive had many a bust up with my kids over what ive read them put and other put on their profile, to them it may be a joke, like one comment on my 15 year olds profile where someone had put ******** (daughters name lol) sucks cock, i find that totally un acceptable and she just laughed it off as a joke saying it didnt mean anything and was just an expression, but what you have to remember is adults use face book too and not all of them nice and these kind of comments could be sending out the wrong signals to the wrong people, as a parent you just have to do what you feel best, ive banned my kids from the pc many a time because ive not trusted them to be sencible on it

7 Dec 2009

Facebook is the least of your problems. Look at the internet as a whole there are so many different sites that a child can go on and go into chatrooms and how safe are these sites. There has been many cases in the paper about teenage girls making friends with men in the chatrooms and end up exchanging mobile nos. and sending indecent pictures, god knows how many cases go un-reported.
My daughter is only 10 and she has asked to join facebook as she wants to play the games on there, but as its for 13 years + she hasnt been able to join. I often wonder why some of these sites dont ask for parent authorisation for their children who are under 16 years old if they allow them to join the site. I know of only one site that does this and that is club pengiun which sends an email to the parents email account and asked if you are ok with them joining and which sort of account they can have ie they can chat to people when playing the game or just play the game. I am able to go into my daughters account on there and check the account at any time to see what she has been doing.
My daughter has her own laptop and mobile phone and I trust her 100% to be sensible when using both of them. She often asks me if she is able to join different sites and we sit down and go through the site together and if I dont approve then she wont join. However I dont know if when she is older that she will approve of me checking the sites, but we will cross that bridge when we come to it.

7 Dec 2009

My son has access to a computer on his own and has done for many years. He is 16 now. There are things I see on his facebook that I don't particularly want to see as it is none of my business. I trust that he is making the right decisions for himself and hope that I have raised him correctly.
I don't know at what point I can measure success but I am proud of my son. He is a fine young man. You have to do what you think is right for you and your daughter.

7 Dec 2009

Quote by splendid_
My son has access to a computer on his own and has done for many years. He is 16 now. There are things I see on his facebook that I don't particularly want to see as it is none of my business. I trust that he is making the right decisions for himself and hope that I have raised him correctly.
I don't know at what point I can measure success but I am proud of my son. He is a fine young man. You have to do what you think is right for you and your daughter.

He is an absolute credit to you :thumbup:
I saw a (funny) but rude comment posted by my 15 year old on her facebook status the other day as I passed her. She switched pages quickly hoping I hadn't seen. I left the room, popped my head back in, and said "hmm, about that status" she muttered a sheepish "hmm" and I replied "there's no e in the middle of (whatever)" Her face was a picture.
Teenagers will be rude, they'll make obscene comments to eachother. They've been doing it ever since pens & toilet cubicles were invented. The medium has changed, and that has bought with it new problems, granted. The same thing is important now as ever- instil in your children the confidence to do what they're ready to do, when they're ready to do it- for their own reasons- and not before.
I'm not friends on facebook with any of my kids. Firstly, I like having a private space where I don't have to worry too much about what's said. Secondly, and I discussed this at length with my eldest- I don't want to see some stuff on theirs, either. We have a very open relationship- she's told me all about her "fwb" relationship, but I don't want a running commentary.
We are interconnected enough though for me to be told by someone if there is anything really untoward said though- this happened a few weeks back when DD was "venting" at me for telling her off.
My lover is friends with my eldest on there though, although I'm not. The swines have been known to use that against me to concoct a party surprise. :dry:

7 Dec 2009

Quote by markz
My daughter is 14 and she goes on facebook and I don't know what she gets up to but I trust her to make the right decisions in life. If we give our children you right tools they can do the rightjob..........as me mum used to say.......

At only 14 that is a cop out!
It is YOU as the responsible ADULT who needs to show that responsibilty in making sure she IS making the right decisions.
I know all kids make mistakes but...allowing her that freedom on a site that has problems and then use the " right tools mallony " is asking for trouble.
As PARENTS we ALL have that parental responsibility to look after our kids, and not let them make their own decisions at only 14.
No wonder kids get into a mess on Facebook and sites like those.
Check what your kids are up to on the internet, and don't take second guesses on their safety!
We are parents and it is about time people realised that comes with BIG responsibilities!

7 Dec 2009

Quote by kentswingers777
My daughter is 14 and she goes on facebook and I don't know what she gets up to but I trust her to make the right decisions in life. If we give our children you right tools they can do the rightjob..........as me mum used to say.......

At only 14 that is a cop out!
It is YOU as the responsible ADULT who needs to show that responsibilty in making sure she IS making the right decisions.
I know all kids make mistakes but...allowing her that freedom on a site that has problems and then use the " right tools mallony " is asking for trouble.
As PARENTS we ALL have that parental responsibility to look after our kids, and not let them make their own decisions at only 14.
No wonder kids get into a mess on Facebook and sites like those.
Check what your kids are up to on the internet, and don't take second guesses on their safety!
We are parents and it is about time people realised that comes with BIG responsibilities!
Sometimes you are just so unbelievably rude. markz or anyone here doesn't have to explain themselves to you and certainly didn't put himself on this thread to be personally attacked by you and your assumptions. How do you know that he isn't taking responsibility for his children ? Of course 'they' can make their own decisions at 14..... no, they can't drive a car or buy alcohol. But there are many decisions they can make at 14. Markz and everyone else who is a parents uses their responsibility and their relationship with THEIR children to make an informed decision about what their children can and can't make decisions about.
YOU are not the moral guardian here Kenty and you certainly have no right to use your ranting to judge someone about whom you know next to nothing.

7 Dec 2009

My 15 year old son has a facebook account, he often shows me links and things he has on there, I havent added him to my account as he would drive be boinkers with silly remarks!! - But I do keep an eye on what he has on there.. I have all his passwords and I dont go nosing into his business - but have the option should I need to.
My 13 year old hasnt got a facebook and isnt that bothered.. she spends evenings doing her homework and looking at celtic fc pics!! i am not sure where i got her from lol

And my youngest isnt that bothered by computers - apart from the dressing up games on a free game site!
I think is a case of discussing what is right and wrong to be doing online and hope that they listen n keep safe

7 Dec 2009

And get them familiar with this site:

Oh and parents/carers, make yourselves familiar with it to!
:thumbup:

7 Dec 2009

Quote by splendid_
My daughter is 14 and she goes on facebook and I don't know what she gets up to but I trust her to make the right decisions in life. If we give our children you right tools they can do the rightjob..........as me mum used to say.......

At only 14 that is a cop out!
It is YOU as the responsible ADULT who needs to show that responsibilty in making sure she IS making the right decisions.
I know all kids make mistakes but...allowing her that freedom on a site that has problems and then use the " right tools mallony " is asking for trouble.
As PARENTS we ALL have that parental responsibility to look after our kids, and not let them make their own decisions at only 14.
No wonder kids get into a mess on Facebook and sites like those.
Check what your kids are up to on the internet, and don't take second guesses on their safety!
We are parents and it is about time people realised that comes with BIG responsibilities!
Sometimes you are just so unbelievably rude. markz or anyone here doesn't have to explain themselves to you and certainly didn't put himself on this thread to be personally attacked by you and your assumptions. How do you know that he isn't taking responsibility for his children ? Of course 'they' can make their own decisions at 14..... no, they can't drive a car or buy alcohol. But there are many decisions they can make at 14. Markz and everyone else who is a parents uses their responsibility and their relationship with THEIR children to make an informed decision about what their children can and can't make decisions about.
YOU are not the moral guardian here Kenty and you certainly have no right to use your ranting to judge someone about whom you know next to nothing.
Well excuse me Splendid...I can never accuse of being rude now can i?
I am not trying to be a " moral guardian " as you so aptly put it, I was making MY opinion for which obviously YOU do not agree with.
No I do not know him but he has admitted he does not know what his kids do on Facebook, which means he does not check.
Do YOU really think that all the kids out there who have got into serious trouble on the net through social networking sites are all idiot kids? Do you think that responsible kids do not get suckered in to things by sly adults?
What a naive world people live in. What the fuck is wrong with checking who your children ( that is what they are btw ) are talking too on the net?
I bet that many many parents whose kids have got into trouble, wish that they WOULD have been more aware of what and whom they were talking too!
But of course YOU have never taken any moral highground on this forum have you?
I am a Father who thinks that the internet can be a dangerous place for kids, and yes 14 is still a child in the eyes of the law, and ARE the responsibilty of their parent/s!
Because YOU say you have a child who has turned into a fine young man, does not mean that every other persons kid will be the same.
Sometimes you can be so self righteous!
You want people to be all hip hop and allow their kids free access to the internet, then fine, but many other parents do not and they are the ones who I think are doing the correct thing.

7 Dec 2009

Quote by kentswingers777
My daughter is 14 and she goes on facebook and I don't know what she gets up to but I trust her to make the right decisions in life. If we give our children you right tools they can do the rightjob..........as me mum used to say.......

At only 14 that is a cop out!
It is YOU as the responsible ADULT who needs to show that responsibilty in making sure she IS making the right decisions.
I know all kids make mistakes but...allowing her that freedom on a site that has problems and then use the " right tools mallony " is asking for trouble.
As PARENTS we ALL have that parental responsibility to look after our kids, and not let them make their own decisions at only 14.
No wonder kids get into a mess on Facebook and sites like those.
Check what your kids are up to on the internet, and don't take second guesses on their safety!
We are parents and it is about time people realised that comes with BIG responsibilities!
Kent, it is hugely unlikely that MarkZ's 14 year old daughter was delivered to him from the planet Zorg almost fully grown. Although given MarkZ's involvement, alien influence is feasible.
He has, no doubt, spent 14 years equipping her to make judgement calls for herself. At least that's what I inferred from his comments about giving her the right tools. He knows his daughter, you don't. Did you not allow your daughter/s at 14 to do anything without you by their side?
Yes, the internet is a dangerous place- but the world wide web is a part of the big wide world- and it's in that, the real world, where the dangers of the internet are borne out.
You're always telling us how dangerous it is out there. Did you watch your childrens every move? If not, wasn't that a cop out?
Hopefully, by the age of 14, you were able to show them a degree of trust. You would, I am presuming, have done this based on your knowledge of the individual child. One child at 14 will be completely capable of taking care of themselves while another, even a sibling, would struggle to cross the road without having problems.
I'm guessing that if MarkZ sproglet gave him any reason to doubt that he could trust her, he would reconsider his stance.
There comes a time when kids need to learn to stand on their own two feet. It's a process- not something that just happens on their 16th birthday.
MarkZ has spent 14 years on that process. He's lived it every day. He believes that his daughter has the skills and the common sense to survive the internet. Just as one day you decided your kids were old enough to cross the street on their own...walk to school on their own...go on a date...etc.
He is not copping out. No more than you, or any other parent did when you made those decisions. You may not agree with his decision- but there is no need for you to be derisive.

8 Dec 2009

Quote by Cubes
Facebook have an AUP the same as most other sites. IMHO something like that is not acceptable behaviour for kids of that age and should be reported/deleted.
That said, I haven't let my 10 y/o anywhere near having a Facebook account, even though all her friends seem to be on there. But then again she hasn't got a phone either - until she starts to go places without trusted adults I don't think she needs one.
We recently got told about a case where a youngster's Facebook account had been "hacked" and someone was posting indecent messages to all his friends. I blame the parents myself.

That is just the easy way out...blame the parents for everything...You can be the best parent in the world and you can teach them right from wrong, black from white and front from back, but once they are outside, out of your reach...they will mix with the kind of people you tell them not to, //because you told them not to. How do you control that? These kids are "cool", and yours will want to copy them, and act like them.
Internet is just a part of the problem, but I have to say, a VERY big part!Don't allow them Facebook? no matter, there is always Myspace and thousand or so other sites for them to discover..and they are just as bad or worse.

8 Dec 2009

Quote by kentswingers777
My daughter is 14 and she goes on facebook and I don't know what she gets up to but I trust her to make the right decisions in life. If we give our children you right tools they can do the rightjob..........as me mum used to say.......

At only 14 that is a cop out!
It is YOU as the responsible ADULT who needs to show that responsibilty in making sure she IS making the right decisions.
I know all kids make mistakes but...allowing her that freedom on a site that has problems and then use the " right tools mallony " is asking for trouble.
As PARENTS we ALL have that parental responsibility to look after our kids, and not let them make their own decisions at only 14.
No wonder kids get into a mess on Facebook and sites like those.
Check what your kids are up to on the internet, and don't take second guesses on their safety!
We are parents and it is about time people realised that comes with BIG responsibilities!
Now we've had this out before...Kent do you really know what your kids are always doing,are they really the perfect kids that never put a foot out of place, in your eyes? Are you really always there to make sure they stay on the path? Do you spy on them 24/7,do you check all their internet history,log onto everything they visit? Come on do you really have time to do all that?

8 Dec 2009

Quote by Mr-Powers
My daughter is 14 and she goes on facebook and I don't know what she gets up to but I trust her to make the right decisions in life. If we give our children you right tools they can do the rightjob..........as me mum used to say.......

At only 14 that is a cop out!
It is YOU as the responsible ADULT who needs to show that responsibilty in making sure she IS making the right decisions.
I know all kids make mistakes but...allowing her that freedom on a site that has problems and then use the " right tools mallony " is asking for trouble.
As PARENTS we ALL have that parental responsibility to look after our kids, and not let them make their own decisions at only 14.
No wonder kids get into a mess on Facebook and sites like those.
Check what your kids are up to on the internet, and don't take second guesses on their safety!
We are parents and it is about time people realised that comes with BIG responsibilities!
Now we've had this out before...Kent do you really know what your kids are always doing,are they really the perfect kids that never put a foot out of place, in your eyes? Are you really always there to make sure they stay on the path? Do you spy on them 24/7,do you check all their internet history,log onto everything they visit? Come on do you really have time to do all that?
Of course I do not but....we DO know who they are talking too on Facebook....we know who they talk to on MSN. Of course we trust the kids but it does no harm in checking from time to time...does it?
I heard on the radio this morning that schools are now going to HAVE to teach kids about Internet safety...quite funny as this subject is being talked about on here.
The school will EXPECT parents to also be involved, but as in a lot of cases parents expect the schools to be second parents, as SOME parents really are not bothered...I said Some!
I have made my points very clear Powers as you have read, but here is a little link which sort of sums it up for me..

Now we will very soon have a situation in schools, and yes 14 year olds will be included in this, where " children " will be taught about the dangers of the internet, and the schools are looking for the co-operation of ALL parents. Schools can only teach the kids, then hope that the parents carry it out in the home....what is so wrong with that?
IF checking up on your kids internet activity, can stop one pervert from trying to groom a child or worse, what is so bad about that? That can only be done IF parents are aware of what their kids are up to on the internet.
As I have already stated....how many bright, sensible, articulate children who are trusted by their parents, fall into the internet trap?
Surely the safety and wellbeing of your child should come before everything else? Sorry but whilst a 14 year old may well think they are all grown up and adult, they are still very naive.
If there were no serious issues on the internet we would not be having this discussion....would we? But there are many cases of some horrid things, and sites like Facebook have HAD to co-operate with the authorities regarding the safety of their site. They have acted and hopefully it can becomne a safer place for kids to be, but it does no harm at all in not checking who your kids are talking too....no matter how much you think you can trust them.
Some very very clever trustworthy kids have become " victims " on sites like Facebook....would anyone really want their child to be the next one?
One bit on the above link sums everything up. It states "
Schools and parents shouldnâ€™t be competitors when the issue is personal safety. Both should understand how pervasive electronic communications are with the upcoming generation and how personal safety should be a number one priority ".

8 Dec 2009

Another link...

So the protection that these sites will now have to follow, are all aimed at kids obviously that are not to be trusted and are a bit dim?
I think children clever and not so clever.....trusted and not trusted, can fall into a catagory where they COULD get into trouble.
Legislation will be made law unless these sites DO something about monitoring their sites more effectivly than they are at the moment.
It is a TWO way street....site owners.....children AND parents ALL have a role to play in making the internet a safer place for ALL children!
Oh look even the leftie Guardian has this in their paper....