I have a theory - which may be utter bollocks! That men and women approach fantasies in a different way.
Men, fantasise in a way totally unbridled by reality. Being on a 15 hour flight with a jumbo jet full of raging nymphomaniacs and being able to shag them all into ecstasy. Kylie actually does walk through the door.
Women, prefer fantasies which at least have a basis in reality, about situations and people that could actually happen. A situation at work, or in the supermarket.
So I thought I would ask you to test this theory in a poll.
It is not meant to be scientific, judge for yourselves if your preference is for extreme fantasies with no basis in reality, or fantasies which might just have an outside chance of becoming reality. We all probably do a bit of both (actually, just thought better add a "dont fantasise option") but which option would you say you do most?
Unfortunately, us couples can only vote once, so I have added a bit for that too.
lhk
Kat :shock:
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Fantasies
Do men and women fantasise in a different way?
I am a woman and prefer fantasies based in reality.
We are a couple, and have the same type of fantasies.
I am a woman and prefer extreme fantasies.
We are a couple, and do fantasise in different ways.
I am a man and prefer fantasies based in reality.
I am a man and prefer extreme fantasies.
What is a fantasy?
Sex God
Interesting question, anyone would think you're a psychologist :shock: :shock: :shock:
My fantasies are certainly not based anywhere near reality (well not reality as most normal folks know it!), so I may well bugger up your hypothesis when I vote
There are loads of scientific studies that have looked at this sort of thing, if you're seriously interested I could send you some references :shock:
My fantasies are certainly not based anywhere near reality (well not reality as most normal folks know it!), so I may well bugger up your hypothesis when I vote
There are loads of scientific studies that have looked at this sort of thing, if you're seriously interested I could send you some references :shock:
Mod
Hmmm,
Since mine was the first vote and yours was the second, Blue, it looks like we are on the same wavelength!!! Spooky!! :twisted:
Mal
Since mine was the first vote and yours was the second, Blue, it looks like we are on the same wavelength!!! Spooky!! :twisted:
Mal
Sex God
So, hypothesis 2 - how extreme is extreme? It could be that both men and women have fantasies that they term "extreme", but maybe either men's and women's definitions of "extreme" are different, or that both men and women have fantasises that could be called extreme, just some more than others... so come on, who's going to spill the beans :twisted: !
Jeeeez, anyone would think I'm a psychologist!
Jeeeez, anyone would think I'm a psychologist!
Mod
Can't we just shag? 
Mal
Mal
My fantasies are certainly not based anywhere near reality (well not reality as most normal folks know it!), so I may well bugger up your hypothesis when I vote
There are loads of scientific studies that have looked at this sort of thing, if you're seriously interested I could send you some references
:lol: :lol: In answer to your first point, I reckon DJohn would agree you have a propensity towards this!
Second part, nah, would take all the fun out of it. :lol: And perhaps it should be acknowledged that the respondants on this site may well be.... polarised??
On a similar vein (oo er missus).. how can you be sure that the colour you call red is the same colour that I call red.... give it some thought, it drives you mad.... or that red is red at all. Consider grass. We all call it green, because that is the wavelength of light that is reflected into our eyes. Yet what of all the red? It must go somewhere. So if grass is sitting there absorbing all this colour red, and reflecting the yellow and blue to make green. Surely we are seeing the colour that grass is not, and not the colour that it really is?
Fancy an aspirin Steve?? :lol:
So, hypothesis 2 - how extreme is extreme? It could be that both men and women have fantasies that they term "extreme", but maybe either men's and women's definitions of "extreme" are different, or that both men and women have fantasises that could be called extreme, just some more than others... so come on, who's going to spill the beans !
Thought I had covered this :cry:. Exteme is not quantified by the nature of the sexual act. Your fantasy can be as off the wall as you like. Extreme refers to the likelyhood of your fantasy becoming reality.
So, for example, if you sit in Liaisons and fantsise about having sex with 13 men in the hot tub out the back, it would not be extreme because it could happen. Or at least it could for yourselves (H and Blue) because you have a lifestyle which would allow for that.
If you sit in front of your telly and fantasise about having sex with the Bradford Bulls in the hot tub out the back, it would be extreme, because it is not quite so likely to happen.
Can't we just shag?
much better idea than asking stupid questions! :( lhk
Kat
Sex God
Hmmmm, I'd never even thought what grass does with red - that's something to ponder on later :shock:
Now, I'm glad you've defined "extreme" - I so love definations for all my terms :borg: .
You see, the thing with me is I don't fantasise about those things that I can do in reality, I just, well, erm, go and do 'em (for example, I have never fantasised about 13 men in the hot tub at Liaisons as if I wanted that I could get it (if their hot tub is big enough, which I'm not sure it is - I will measure it tomorrow night :twisted: ) - come to think of it, I've never fantasised about the Bradford Bulls either, so I guess rugby teams in hot tubs are not my thing
- anyway, where was I? Oh yes, I only fantasise about those things that could never happen, like shagging a girl in a prison cell (DON'T EVEN ASK!!!).That to me isn't an extreme fantasy but it is under Kat's rule, so it must be. I would only consider it extreme when the rottweiler joins in as well :shock: :shock:
Now, I'm glad you've defined "extreme" - I so love definations for all my terms :borg: .
You see, the thing with me is I don't fantasise about those things that I can do in reality, I just, well, erm, go and do 'em (for example, I have never fantasised about 13 men in the hot tub at Liaisons as if I wanted that I could get it (if their hot tub is big enough, which I'm not sure it is - I will measure it tomorrow night :twisted: ) - come to think of it, I've never fantasised about the Bradford Bulls either, so I guess rugby teams in hot tubs are not my thing
- anyway, where was I? Oh yes, I only fantasise about those things that could never happen, like shagging a girl in a prison cell (DON'T EVEN ASK!!!).That to me isn't an extreme fantasy but it is under Kat's rule, so it must be. I would only consider it extreme when the rottweiler joins in as well :shock: :shock: Ouch! My brain hurts! :silly:
How can you possibly hit me with all this 'cology stuff before Eastenders?
I voted for extreme fantasies because I wasn't sure if it was an actual offer and I've already acted out all of my tamer ones. All except the one about the Thorntons factory and the rugby team... :shock:
:censored:
Hxx
How can you possibly hit me with all this 'cology stuff before Eastenders?
I voted for extreme fantasies because I wasn't sure if it was an actual offer and I've already acted out all of my tamer ones. All except the one about the Thorntons factory and the rugby team... :shock:
:censored: Hxx
:banghead: :banghead: 
Sex God
For me, they've got to feel real, and that includes day-dreaming through the entire lead-up. It's always with people I know, and situations that could happen - including a few that would have happened if I'd been less of an idiot at the time.
On the subject of rugby players: There was an ad in Australia several years ago featuring lots of shirtless rugby players. The first time I saw it was in the cinema. I was tempted to say aloud "It's enough to make you wish you were gay". But I restrained myself :-)
On the subject of rugby players: There was an ad in Australia several years ago featuring lots of shirtless rugby players. The first time I saw it was in the cinema. I was tempted to say aloud "It's enough to make you wish you were gay". But I restrained myself :-)
Interesting poll Kat 
My fantasies tend to be based in the real world. I would describe them as achievable fantasies, in that the people are people I know, the settings are true to life and the feats are physically possible. OK, so I may use a little artistic licence here and there
However, I don't sit daydreaming, or more acurately lie in bed, imagining Connie Montoya and Catherine Zeta Jones telling me they have never seen one as big as that or have never been shagged quite as well as I just did, in between pleasuring each other for my entertainment, as the pilot takes my Gulfstream for one more pass over the Bay of Biscay.
There again, a friend of mine fantasised about a threesome. He wanted another woman to join he and his partner in bed. He had discussed it with his partner, she wasn't against the idea and said it sounded fun. They both found it a turn on and wanted to take it further. One evening another couple they knew called round to visit. Whilst the guys were in the kitchen sorting the drinks out, the female guest came on to my friend's partner. On walking back into the room, my friend saw another woman kissing his partner and he froze. Far from finding it a turn on he felt sick, threatened and very jealous. The fantasy had seemed so good, the reality wasn't.
My fantasies tend to be based in the real world. I would describe them as achievable fantasies, in that the people are people I know, the settings are true to life and the feats are physically possible. OK, so I may use a little artistic licence here and there
However, I don't sit daydreaming, or more acurately lie in bed, imagining Connie Montoya and Catherine Zeta Jones telling me they have never seen one as big as that or have never been shagged quite as well as I just did, in between pleasuring each other for my entertainment, as the pilot takes my Gulfstream for one more pass over the Bay of Biscay.
There again, a friend of mine fantasised about a threesome. He wanted another woman to join he and his partner in bed. He had discussed it with his partner, she wasn't against the idea and said it sounded fun. They both found it a turn on and wanted to take it further. One evening another couple they knew called round to visit. Whilst the guys were in the kitchen sorting the drinks out, the female guest came on to my friend's partner. On walking back into the room, my friend saw another woman kissing his partner and he froze. Far from finding it a turn on he felt sick, threatened and very jealous. The fantasy had seemed so good, the reality wasn't.
Sex God
OH RVM - you are so right! I've been in very much the same position myself a few times, i.e. with people when it suddenly dawns on them that fantasy is one thing but reality is very much another - very embarrassing btw!
Kat - seems your original hypothesis is flawed?! :shock:
Kat - seems your original hypothesis is flawed?! :shock:
Sex God
Not a complete crock, Kat. There's still a very strong split - not something I would have guessed without a poll.
Want to know about some of most popular fantasies entertained by men and women. Here are the top 10 male and female fantasies for you to savour.
Male Sexual Fantasies
Favored Location: Sex anywhere except bedroom. Swimming pools, office, garden, supermarkets....you wanna add your something exotic to the list.
Bedroom Eyes : peeping through a window/keyhole watching her take on her girlfriend/boyfriend or watching her take bath.
Risky Twist: Laying her on her desk knowing someone might come in anytime.
King-size Sex : To have the women from places all over serving his majesty.
Dress Designer : French maids' outfits/nurses uniforms. The short skirt and suspenders combo is deeply embedded in the male psyche.
Double feast : Sandwiched between two women intent on his pleasure.
Yes Boss : Grilling his boss's wife.
Her Slave : Becoming her slave, getting tortured and molested by her.
Mrs. Neighbour: Letting his mature sexy neighbor helping him grow.
Lovely Stranger : Being ravished by a total stranger. Planes and trains feature highly in this fantasy.
Female Sexual Fantasies
Women on Top: Its about dominating her man; making him beg, telling him to perform striptease, list goes getting fetish from here. Isn't it?
Porno Babe: Being watched while having sex with partner or while masturbating is an exciting turn for her.
Two to Tango: Like men women also fantasize about having two men all over their bodies.
Sexually Ravaged: Having her master guide her into the sexual ecstasy is so lovely.
My Lovely Strangers: Lots of women relish the idea of making it out with a total stranger."
Naked World: Idea of group sex and being and watching naked people is simply irresistible.
Rip me Apart: She'd love to be forcefully done with for she wants the feel of the man.
I want the Beauty: She on she is simply beautiful. Idea being softness, tenderness, feelings, emotions. Let him watch while I do so.
Dirty Lady: I won't mind being a slut or stripper ..ooh for you my nasty honey.
Screw Power: Role reversal is what she'd like the most. Get her a strap-on penis and its his arse's time on.
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Dunno 'bout the Screw Power bit....have to consult a proctologist...as for the rest....ain't you all on here ?
Male Sexual Fantasies
Favored Location: Sex anywhere except bedroom. Swimming pools, office, garden, supermarkets....you wanna add your something exotic to the list.
Bedroom Eyes : peeping through a window/keyhole watching her take on her girlfriend/boyfriend or watching her take bath.
Risky Twist: Laying her on her desk knowing someone might come in anytime.
King-size Sex : To have the women from places all over serving his majesty.
Dress Designer : French maids' outfits/nurses uniforms. The short skirt and suspenders combo is deeply embedded in the male psyche.
Double feast : Sandwiched between two women intent on his pleasure.
Yes Boss : Grilling his boss's wife.
Her Slave : Becoming her slave, getting tortured and molested by her.
Mrs. Neighbour: Letting his mature sexy neighbor helping him grow.
Lovely Stranger : Being ravished by a total stranger. Planes and trains feature highly in this fantasy.
Female Sexual Fantasies
Women on Top: Its about dominating her man; making him beg, telling him to perform striptease, list goes getting fetish from here. Isn't it?
Porno Babe: Being watched while having sex with partner or while masturbating is an exciting turn for her.
Two to Tango: Like men women also fantasize about having two men all over their bodies.
Sexually Ravaged: Having her master guide her into the sexual ecstasy is so lovely.
My Lovely Strangers: Lots of women relish the idea of making it out with a total stranger."
Naked World: Idea of group sex and being and watching naked people is simply irresistible.
Rip me Apart: She'd love to be forcefully done with for she wants the feel of the man.
I want the Beauty: She on she is simply beautiful. Idea being softness, tenderness, feelings, emotions. Let him watch while I do so.
Dirty Lady: I won't mind being a slut or stripper ..ooh for you my nasty honey.
Screw Power: Role reversal is what she'd like the most. Get her a strap-on penis and its his arse's time on.
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Dunno 'bout the Screw Power bit....have to consult a proctologist...as for the rest....ain't you all on here ?
I'm a man and I have to say I agree that men do have non-reality based fantasies...
I know I do and I'm not alone ;)
Women though seem to vary. Some have really weird fantasies that would make open minded men blush and some have really laid back ones..
It depends on the type of person really, not the sex!
Tory
I know I do and I'm not alone ;)
Women though seem to vary. Some have really weird fantasies that would make open minded men blush and some have really laid back ones..
It depends on the type of person really, not the sex!
Tory
Here's my little contribution...
A couple weeks ago I was at a friend's house laying their lino. The pattern on it was just that of planks of wood - nothing symmetrical.
My friend then made an interesting comment. She thought it strange that since men get off more on visual stimulants and women mostly on imagination, that its usually the women who see "faces" in wallpaper or a Van Gogh in the dust stains on the back of a TV set... :idea:
Seems funny how the rolls seems to have switched round.
Just out of interest regarding jomu's post, the only three listed for male fantasies that I would agree with are the outdoor thing, bedroom eyes and king-size sex.
A couple weeks ago I was at a friend's house laying their lino. The pattern on it was just that of planks of wood - nothing symmetrical.
My friend then made an interesting comment. She thought it strange that since men get off more on visual stimulants and women mostly on imagination, that its usually the women who see "faces" in wallpaper or a Van Gogh in the dust stains on the back of a TV set... :idea:
Seems funny how the rolls seems to have switched round.
Just out of interest regarding jomu's post, the only three listed for male fantasies that I would agree with are the outdoor thing, bedroom eyes and king-size sex.
Sex God
Obviously Jomu's list was based on heterosexual men and women's fantasies - I would hazard a guess and gay men and lesbians might have completely different ideas 8)
For the record, I like the idea of most of the men's ones but virtually none of the women's ones appeal
I read another list once based on Masters and Johnson's research (anyone heard of those guys?) and according to them, for both men and women, one of the most popular fantasies was to have sex with a same sex person - sounds like the kind of people I would like to interview :lol: :lol:
Elske - it is apparently true that men prefer visual stimulation while women rely on imagination, I don't know how this would make their fantasies different though - I guess their focus would be on differents aspects of the fantasy, even if the said fantasy was about the same thing.
Oh dear, Kat, you've opened up a whole can of psychological worms! 8)
For the record, I like the idea of most of the men's ones but virtually none of the women's ones appeal
I read another list once based on Masters and Johnson's research (anyone heard of those guys?) and according to them, for both men and women, one of the most popular fantasies was to have sex with a same sex person - sounds like the kind of people I would like to interview
:lol: :lol: Elske - it is apparently true that men prefer visual stimulation while women rely on imagination, I don't know how this would make their fantasies different though - I guess their focus would be on differents aspects of the fantasy, even if the said fantasy was about the same thing.
Oh dear, Kat, you've opened up a whole can of psychological worms! 8)
Oh dear, Kat, you've opened up a whole can of psychological worms!
Now phase two of my master plan, we start getting people to tell us their fantasies. :twisted:
Make change from blooming techie stuff. Lets do a word search and compare how many times sexually explicit words appear, and how many times computer explicit words appear!
Kat did 6/10 on his list - Kit did 5/10 on her list
Kat did 7/10 on Kits list - Kit did 7/10 on Kats list.
WTF?lhk
Kat
Sex God
Yes, I think people should tell us all their fantasies and then we can decide for ourselves whether they are reality-based or extreme, or whether they are typically male, female, or just plain old kinky :twisted:
Well, apparently gay men fant about sex with young gay males.
At the moment, gay women (or should that be lesbians ?) fant about sex with Pink...in her leather gear.
At my age I fant about any sort of sex...what does it mean anyway ?
Although most conservative males still fant about sex with maggie thatcher....but then................
Labour males don't fant about sex, they are still deciding who sits on the committee to decide if fantasies are sexist.
Oh, and check this out, then get the anti-v updated and a firewall installed:
At the moment, gay women (or should that be lesbians ?) fant about sex with Pink...in her leather gear.
At my age I fant about any sort of sex...what does it mean anyway ?
Although most conservative males still fant about sex with maggie thatcher....but then................
Labour males don't fant about sex, they are still deciding who sits on the committee to decide if fantasies are sexist.
Oh, and check this out, then get the anti-v updated and a firewall installed:
Sex God
oooooo good question kat!
well . . .
once upon a time, my fantasies were quite vanilla. they may have involved kylies arse and stuff like that on occasion, or possibly kylie and that fern off saturday kids TV, but then i was all innocent back then!
nowadays my fantasises tend to revolve around a fairly large section of SH members doing quite naughty things, which is all good! :twisted:
of course i'm keeping 'em to meself, till such time as the opportunity presents itself to make 'em a reality! ;)
n x x x :P
well . . .
once upon a time, my fantasies were quite vanilla. they may have involved kylies arse and stuff like that on occasion, or possibly kylie and that fern off saturday kids TV, but then i was all innocent back then!
nowadays my fantasises tend to revolve around a fairly large section of SH members doing quite naughty things, which is all good! :twisted:
of course i'm keeping 'em to meself, till such time as the opportunity presents itself to make 'em a reality! ;)
n x x x :P
My fantasies have become a lot more involved since I reawakened my sex drive, especially as a lot of it is starting to become possible for me. My main ones are sex with another woman, sex in a group, bondage, voyeurism and seduction. I also like outdoor fun but haven't had the chance to indulge in a long time.
I think the most difficult one that I have is the voyeurism, I would like to view people having sex without them knowing at all, real peeping tom stuff. Obviously it is risky but I suppose that's half the attraction.
As for visual vs mental stimulus, it depends on my mood. Sometimes there's nothing better than a straightforward porn movie or pics to get me going, other times I enjoy reading stories and letting my imagination do the viewing for me. The stories are good because I can make the people in them look however I want them too, or they could be faceless bodies but sometimes it's nice to see real tits, bums, cocks etc. in action too! :twisted:
I think the most difficult one that I have is the voyeurism, I would like to view people having sex without them knowing at all, real peeping tom stuff. Obviously it is risky but I suppose that's half the attraction.
As for visual vs mental stimulus, it depends on my mood. Sometimes there's nothing better than a straightforward porn movie or pics to get me going, other times I enjoy reading stories and letting my imagination do the viewing for me. The stories are good because I can make the people in them look however I want them too, or they could be faceless bodies but sometimes it's nice to see real tits, bums, cocks etc. in action too! :twisted:
Quote by steve_1
So, hypothesis 2 - how extreme is extreme?
This opens up a whole new can of worms.
On a similar vein (oo er missus).. how can you be sure that the colour you call red is the same colour that I call red.... give it some thought, it drives you mad.
steve
x
Actually that's so true. Iin this house-hold we've already established that some of the reds I see others usually see as brown. Same thing with blue and green and every now and again brown and khaki :shock:
So if I arrive at the munch and I'm not quite colour co-ordinated, excuse me, I'm not good with colours
Sex God
Quote by neilinleeds
oooooo good question kat!
well . . .
once upon a time, my fantasies were quite vanilla. they may have involved kylies arse and stuff like that on occasion, or possibly kylie and that fern off saturday kids TV, but then i was all innocent back then!
nowadays my fantasises tend to revolve around a fairly large section of SH members doing quite naughty things, which is all good! :twisted:
of course i'm keeping 'em to meself, till such time as the opportunity presents itself to make 'em a reality! ;)
n x x x :P
What he said.... :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
.......except my fantasies have never been vanilla oh and I much prefer Cat Deely to Fern.
:P 
