Old classic......
Why did the orange stop at the top of the hill?
It ran out of juice.
3 men sitting in a sauna, heard a beeping sound. The American pressed his arm and the bleep stopped "That was my pager, i have a microchip in my arm for messages"
A couple of minutes later a phone rings, Japanese guy puts his hand to his ear "that was my mobile, i have a chip in my hand".
Irish guy not to be outdone, went to the toilet, came back withtoilet paper hanging from his arse. The others stared at him......"Ah bjasus will you look at that, im getting a fax through"
Italian guy: When i finisha makina a love to girla friend, i go down gently tickle her knees she floatsa 6 inches above da bed in ecstacy!
French guy: Zat isnothing, when i finish with ze girl, ah kiss her all ze way down her bodyand zen lick ze soles of ze feet, she floats 12 inches above ze bed in ecstacy!
Irishman: Ats Nafin, when im finished riding me bird, i got outta bed, wiped my dick on her new curtains and she hit da fuckin roof!
Englishman, Scotsman and and Irishman chatting, Englishman says "my wife bought a new car the other day and she hasnt even passed her test"
Scotsman says "my wife went to a health farm and she's not even fat"
Irishman says "thats nothing, my wife's gone to Ibiza, taken 30 condoms and she hasnt even got a cock"