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feeling guilty

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i have a lovely fiance who is wonderful in every way expect in bed.
and i can't stop thinking about my old fuckbuddy who was the best sex of my life.
i'm not a naturally monogamous person, far from it! should i give in to my urges or should i be strong?
Quote by miss h
i have a lovely fiance who is wonderful in every way expect in bed.
and i can't stop thinking about my old fuckbuddy who was the best sex of my life.
i'm not a naturally monogamous person, far from it! should i give in to my urges or should i be strong?

Wow that's a big question!
I suppose the short answer is that it depends on what sort of relationship you have with your fiance and how he'd react to finding out he doesn't satisfy you physically.
If sex is very important to you and you feel you can't teach/encourage your partner how to give you what you need then maybe marrying him isn't the best idea.
Should you be strong? Maybe, but how strong can anyone be when they're not getting what they need?
If you haven't done so already why not talk all this through with him and see whether you can't solve the problem in other ways.
This is such a minefield and I am not taking the easy route out here but I thinks it's only a question that you can answer.
I think that the fact you are even asking the question and feeling guilty may mean you already know what the 'right' thing for you to do is.
We will all have differing opinions and experiences regarding this subject - in brief mine would be talk to your fiance to see whether you can work together on improving your sex life, he may not be content either.
Just my 2p's worth.
You could teach your fiance some of the tricks your old FB knew and improve your sex life together that way. You're obviously with your fiance for the best of all reasons and that's because you love him. Things like sex can be taught and learnt along the way. Your old FB is in the past and best kept that way.
Good luck
:thumbup:
Be strong for the time being.
As others have said you might be able to find ways to improve things with him sexually,its not a race is it?
You must communicate but DON'T tell him that you are comparing him to your previous FB!
Love or sex?The greatest of the two is love, a single woman you could find sex by going to any club or party.
But love?Thats much much harder to on to it if you can.
Quote by miss h
i have a lovely fiance who is wonderful in every way expect in bed.
and i can't stop thinking about my old fuckbuddy who was the best sex of my life.
i'm not a naturally monogamous person, far from it! should i give in to my urges or should i be strong?

If you're swinging with your fiance then get the FB in to show him a few tricks then you get the best of both worlds
where's the tongue in cheek smilie?
If you spend to much time thinking of someone when you are not with him, should you be with him?
Quote by
If you spend to much time thinking of someone when you are not with him, should you be with him?

Have to agree with this confused
I'm afraid i have to disagree with you there as some times it doesn't matter how many times you show a guy what to do he just doesn't get it so you then get very fustrated, which can then lead to anger as he is getting satisfied but you are let unsatisfied.
I do agree that if you love him that much then doesnt he deserve for you to be honest with him & explain that you are not happy. Good luck
Quote by Sassy-Seren
You could teach your fiance some of the tricks your old FB knew and improve your sex life together that way. You're obviously with your fiance for the best of all reasons and that's because you love him. Things like sex can be taught and learnt along the way. Your old FB is in the past and best kept that way.
Good luck
:thumbup:
i had the same problem, we talked about it and she took it well, but every time we had a fall out she was like is it cos i not goo enuff in bed. best not to say anything i think try and find out if he intressted in a 3-way spice ya life up with out up setting him
I suppose it depends on what your relationship is like. Personally, i always prefer to be upfront and honest with my partner. However, when discussing sex I know you have got to be very careful.... A mans sexual ego is a very delicate instrument to much fine tuning or discussion (which he may take the wrong way) can seriously damage the ego and make him have a complex about it. If that was to happen you may rapidly find that not all that good sex becomes no sex at all.
Forget the fuck buddy.... that is a complete recipe for disaster - dragging up the past into the present. BIG NO NO.
I would suggest that you try and tactfully introduce new things into the bedroom and see how he responds to that. If you talk about it avoid blame or finger pointing and discuss it constructively. Ultimately if things dont change then you're left with three choices. Either put up and shut up, play around behind his back or dump him. If you're going to play around without his knowledge then whats the point of being in a relationship???? rolleyes
If you want to talk more then pm me... biggrin
Quote by miss h
i have a lovely fiance who is wonderful in every way expect in bed.
and i can't stop thinking about my old fuckbuddy who was the best sex of my life.
i'm not a naturally monogamous person, far from it! should i give in to my urges or should i be strong?

the obvious question is have you spoken to the person who is "wonderful" about this???? because isn't this a conversation you should have with them rather than people who don't know you......
Quote by miss h
.............
i'm not a naturally monogamous person, far from it! should i give in to my urges or should i be strong?

Can I put it another way should you be strong and tell your 'lovely fiance' now or walk away, or should you wait and do nothing. Do nothing and the question will come back latter.
thanks for the answers guys, i haven't been on the pc much in the last few days.
i just wanted the advice of people who were a bit more likeminded.
i have decided to stick with my fiance. i have real love there and would be an idiot to throw that away.
thanks again, H x
you may want to delete your add then
Always a prob if that person is 99% right, but the sex is the 1% wrong, and if you are highly sexed that makes that 1% feel like 99!
Could you live with the guilt if you cheated on him? As iin what he doesn;'t know won't hurt him, or even would he participate in swinging, is this something you have talked to him about or suggested?
Be strong.
There are other things than sex, and sex is an area that you can work on. Start talking to him in bed and agree that you guys will stop having sex for say a month. Also agree that every day or two you both must do something sexual to ther other person (not sex though). Try and agree that you'll try new things (perhaps say each time it has to be something different). Experiment with mutual masterbation, oral, light bondage , the first two in different circumstances e.g. in public places whatever.
Try and make sex a more fun and relaxed thing.
After a few weeks or a month start incorperating new things like begin to almost have sex and tease each other with your pussy and him teasing you with his dick but don't penetrate. Then move slowly onto full sex with alot of foreplay first. Even if the sex isn't great you might find that you really enjoy the foreplay. Also as you slow things down you might be able to control the sex better and do things how you like it.
You might not be able to make the sex the best ever BUT you can easily turn the experiance into the best ever.
Alittle story told to me by a friend. She didn't want to lose her virginity, so they didn't have sex but she didn't want to lose him (he was a bit of a player) so she gave him lots of oral everywhere and anywhere and got him to do the same to her. She also sent him movies of her playing with herself and videod her giving him oral and vice versa.
Now she admitted that doing all these things for him without him asking turned her on tons and when he did things to her it was exciting because it wasn't the normal plain old shag. I don't talk to her much now but last I heard they were having sex and had a good relationship (this was after a year without sex).
What i'm trying to convey is just the idea of experimenting (with each other) and not putting so much emphasis on sex, try making foreplay a much bigger part.
Sorry if I've rambled missus hasn't been around for a while (am busy with work) to make sure I'm sensible -Him.x