no life isnt shit, but some people will try to make you feel shitty. dont listen to them cos they are shit . lifes what you make it . it could be shitty it could smell of roses but watch out when walking to the shops especially in nikeys. dog shit is such a persistant stain lol . just a word of advice lol
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Quote by MISSCHIEF
Wooooohooooooo :bounce:
I feel a race coming on :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:
OK Race ya out the Cafe, through the LMU, Dogging and PMs, down the corridoor bang the door on the GFZ then back again, the way we came? :bounce:
But I have found a sausage dog:lol: :lol: :lol:
I was crying earlier trying to get someone to say that
:rotflmao: :rotflmao:How can he race against a horse with his ickle legs?? :lol: We would stand a better chance if I carried him :lol: :lol:
Quote by rachel-lane
life aint shit
on a serious side
if your not happy with your life
do something about it
:cheers: :wink:
Respect to Red... Your life it only as good as the people in it.... And as all the people on here are TOP BANANAS then stop being so sad and be thankfull for friends like these..
Roni b xx
Quote by Nomad_Soul
How can he race against a horse with his ickle legs??
No problem Nomad - I've just been through the archives and found the perfect thing for your sausage dog, a couple of small pairs of these.....
Finding a saddle might be rather difficult tho :undecided: Think you might need a cluster of these dogs all strapped together under one saddle?
:thumbup: Quote by MISSCHIEF
How can he race against a horse with his ickle legs??
No problem Nomad - I've just been through the archives and found the perfect thing for your sausage dog, a couple of small pairs of these.....
Finding a saddle might be rather difficult tho :undecided: Think you might need a cluster of these dogs all strapped together under one saddle?
:thumbup:So if Dave wore these would that make him a Jumpin Jack Flash ........................
Best make sure he takes his raincoat off before the race commences
Sex God
Right then where's that misschief...II need a bit more time, it's been a hell of a day practising for the big race and I'm still not ready.
To be honest the first horse I choose, this beast
proved to be crap, despite Stans insistence that it would be good if the going was wet there is no way the feckin thing would hold my weight....jumped on it first thing this morning and it just made a sort of ...squish.. noise and refused to budge. Poxy thing must have one hell of a grip on it though, cos try as I might when I climed off of it's back, I couldn't move it off the drive, had to go get a shovel and slide it under her to prise her from the drive.
I had a search round for another horse and spotted this one
I did go see her earlier in the day, but she was only galloping round in circles from what I could see, the lads at the fairground said it's because she was used for racing on roundabouts, a sort of take on the road races that are traditional amongst them, but that with a bit of practice once I've paid my £1000 I could get her to run a straight track.
To be honest the first horse I choose, this beast
proved to be crap, despite Stans insistence that it would be good if the going was wet there is no way the feckin thing would hold my weight....jumped on it first thing this morning and it just made a sort of ...squish.. noise and refused to budge. Poxy thing must have one hell of a grip on it though, cos try as I might when I climed off of it's back, I couldn't move it off the drive, had to go get a shovel and slide it under her to prise her from the drive.
I had a search round for another horse and spotted this one
I did go see her earlier in the day, but she was only galloping round in circles from what I could see, the lads at the fairground said it's because she was used for racing on roundabouts, a sort of take on the road races that are traditional amongst them, but that with a bit of practice once I've paid my £1000 I could get her to run a straight track.
:x :x :x :x :xQuote by davej
Right then where's that misschief...II need a bit more time, it's been a hell of a day practising for the big race and I'm still not ready.
To be honest the first horse I choose, this beast
proved to be crap, despite Stans insistence that it would be good if the going was wet there is no way the feckin thing would hold my weight....jumped on it first thing this morning and it just made a sort of ...squish.. noise and refused to budge. Poxy thing must have one hell of a grip on it though, cos try as I might when I climed off of it's back, I couldn't move it off the drive, had to go get a shovel and slide it under her to prise her from the drive.
I had a search round for another horse and spotted this one
now I aint gonna get bitten twice, so after circling the thing to check on it's condition, which despite being no horse expert looked pretty good, I gingerly climed aboard...feckin excellent..she never buckled once, just sat there on the drive waiting for my giddyup, so with a quick shake of the reigns and a gentle squeeze of the knees we were off.........
what a piss poor ride she turned out to be, sure we moved forward, but I had to work her damned hard just to make a few foot at a time, took nearly an hour to get from my house to the school by which time the kids were turning out, little shits, where's the respect gone, I turned her around and started to head home to get away from em, but the bastards just followed me all the way, I'm working her like the clappers, but it just wasn't quick enough and I had to endure their stupid comment for the whole journey........I've still got ......"Hi Ho Tonto" and "fucking hell Lester did you save us any pies" ringing in me ears
One of the little shits even lite up a fag and stuck it in my mounts mouth :shock: I will be round to see their teacher first thing tomorrow, but I am a bit traumatised by the whole thing at the moment.
Misschief can I have a bit more time. I'm gonna check out another horse that the local fairground boys reckon is still a runner
I did go see her earlier in the day, but she was only galloping round in circles from what I could see, the lads at the fairground said it's because she was used for racing on roundabouts, a sort of take on the road races that are traditional amongst them, but that with a bit of practice once I've paid my £1000 I could get her to run a straight track.
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: Oh Dave ...... just for a minute, so I can patronise Dave :twisted:
Oh you poor thing :therethere: Look, if it's any help, if you can get yer orse to do massive circles it might just work!
The race is a big loop, here, LMU, Dogging, up in the lift to the chatroom, back down, down the corridor to the GFZ ...... then the same thing in reverse ...... hmmm can your orse do reverse circles??? :undecided: 
I still can't get over your first choice!! A seahorse?? Say it out loud "Seahorse" :rotflmao: You chose a bluddy Seahorse Dave!!! :rotflmao:
Quote by Sgt Bilko
Stop running down that corridor!! :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
Hmm think Daves put a stop to that Sarge
......... gonna be more of a run 'round' things :roll: Reckon it's only gonna work if he's got a big organ playing in the background 
:shock: :? Which means as the race is over a distance - he's gonna have to have someone chasing after him with the aforementioned big organ!! :shock: Sex God
Quote by MISSCHIEF
Whoa Neddy, whoa!!!! Calm down boy just for a minute, so I can patronise Dave :twisted:
Oh you poor thing :therethere: Look, if it's any help, if you can get yer orse to do massive circles it might just work!
I still can't get over your first choice!! A seahorse?? Say it out loud "Seahorse"
Stop running down that corridor!! :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
Hmm think Daves put a stop to that Sarge
......... gonna be more of a run 'round' things :roll: Reckon it's only gonna work if he's got a big organ playing in the background :shock: :? Which means as the race is over a distance - he's gonna have to have someone chasing after him with the aforementioned big organ!! :shock:Listen the seahorse was a mistake, someone told me that it had won a big race a few year ago and was a real thoroughbred, I should have checked more cos what they had actually said was 'Sea Biscuit' apparently a very different beast to Sea Horse.
Anyways I blame you for not being more specific.....have you any idea how many types of 'orses' there are out there?......... I turned these ones down already
the middle one looked the swiftest to me, but there's no way I'm gonna try and swing my little stumpies up that high just to get on the fucker.
Sex God
Quote by MISSCHIEF
<~~~~~~ legs it into the thread while Daves in the other one
Quick dance
and outta here
Hey!! thats not on!.........I spend 5 minutes in a wankin thread trying to help a fella with sound advice about getting his cows home earlier and you nip in here and dump this sorry excuse on my doorstep...............I ain't going anywhere near it, cos it looks suspiciousely like warwick in one of his new marketing jobs. Thats a bloke in a foam costume if ever I saw one and I sure ain't going to bring it / him into my house. It can stay in the garage along with the elephant and giraffe!
