Female safety tips

Quote by LittleGem trawling through the old posts and PM's presents
Little Gem's Guide For Single Women ....
"Warning! Serious advice ahoy!
I used to be a single female on the swinging scene and although I'm now part a couple, much of what I'm about to tell you will most likely still apply. I've only ever had three rubbish meets and a hell of a lot of good, well, I'll not talk about the ones that went well cos I'll be here for ages... and *coughs* discretion prevents!
Ok, are you ready for this...
There are different aspects of the scene to get involved with and not all bits suit all people. Some of the variety of situations can be: Swingers Clubs, Socials, Munches, Private Meets, House Parties, Dogging, Chatroom, Camming, Forum... etc.
You'll find out for yourself which bits you want and which parts you can live without because they're too much hassle/too many people/too few people/*insert any other reason here... Don't try to please everyone else, you can't please all the folk all the time... but without being too rude... well I believe in what goes around comes around.
* Decide what you are and are not prepared to do in any situation you're planning on getting into before you get there.
Ok, there will always be something that pops up that you might not have thought of, but don't be afraid to say no that time and go back to it on another meet.
These decisions apply to personal choices like whether you want to play safe sex with condoms and where, boundary based stuff like will/won't kiss etc and situational kinds of things too... For example... if you're going to a swinging party with friends and you want to explore boundaries with someone you trust this can be very different to say a swinging club night when you might have to have clearer boundaries so people don't push you too far outside your comfort zone unless you want that.
It's so you have an answer other than 'not sure/don't know' if you're asked what you're into, you can say straight off... I don't do anal... for example (I don't know if you do or don't, it's just a question I've been asked loads so know it comes up! ) That way people are less likely to take advantage of you... which brings me to my next point.
* No means no. Not maybe, not I'll think about it... NO. Be firm. If they don't stop then get up and walk away. This might be a little thing such as you say you don't want to kiss, they reply with a smart arse comment like 'well I do' and then try to kiss you. Tell them again your boundaries and if they move to break them again, don't be afraid to walk away. If they can't keep small boundaries like that, then you have to be mindful of what else they will disrespect later on. Remember, you're not a paid whore and you DON'T have to do what anyone else says. (including taking my shite advice! )
* If you're going to a swinging club, try not to rely on other people to get you there and home if you don't know them really well (or trust them). This is because you are then stuck with them for the rest of the night and some can think that picking you up and dropping you off is a ticket to a guaranteed shag. So, if things don't go well in their eyes, you could end up abandoned or sat in a club not wanting to be there.
* If possible, tell an open minded friend where you're going to and the name/username of the person. If not, then jot the date on a bit of paper somewhere easy to find should anything happen. If they're picking you up, note their car reg number too. You can never be too careful, not everyone is a 'nice person' and your safety has to be first priority.
Another way to do this is to phone someone as you're going out and let them know you're off out and you'll ring them when you're home. Give them a time scale so if they've not heard from you, they come looking for you. Just don't forget to phone them to say you're OK or you could end up with a Missing Person's file and the coppers on your doorstep charging you with wasting their time!
* Getting to know some people socially might be good for meeting folk in the scene who can give you some face to face advice. Might help you meet people in a relaxed non-play environment who you might want to play with at a later date, or even make a few friends to go clubbing with, socialise with etc... again up to you.
* Stay relatively sober until you know some people you can count on to look out for you impartially. Although it's really tempting to let loose and get really drunk at things, I'd say as a single female, I was sober most of the times just in case I had to keep my wits about me. I'm not saying it's a dangerous pass time with horrid people, but the minority could make your experience a terrible one if you've not got your head screwed on with some things, like people being pushy, letting folk do something you'd never have let them do if you were sober... etc... I'm sure you have plenty of common sense and after all, it's your choice.
* Don't be afraid to be fussy and relatively direct with the 'thanks but I'd rather not play with you at the moment' kind of things. Equally, be prepared to have someone say that to you too, it's not personal, it's not a comment on your worth as an attractive/unattractive human being... it's usually whether they/you are their/your type or not.
* If you're going to use them, carry your own condoms. I never trust a man I don't know with a condom, lessons learnt from horror stories of other people where condoms were old, out of date, kept in hot places, crumpled in pockets for years, holes in them, torn, pierced deliberately... etc. Plus if a moment, arises shall we say , and he doesn't have a condom, then you'll both be kicking yourselves. Extra brownie points are won for the guy having his own decent supply of them though! Shows respect for your wishes and himself with the rise of diseases and infections such as chlamydia and gonorrhoea on the rise too.
* Keep your own interests at heart because no matter how many 'friends' you make, not all of them will befriend you with pure intentions. Most will be genuine, heart-warming, lovely, salt of the earth type people who will help you out in anyway needed. Chances are they'll be as nervous as you sometimes so you can make allowances for that should you wish, although not infinitely in my opinion.
If you've got to the end of this and thought, 'wow! OMG I'm never going to swing... too many risks...' bear in mind that information is power and if you're aware of the risks before you get involved, then you might be more likely to better deal with things should they happen, if at all.
Good luck.
LG. x x x x "

Quote by MidsCouple24
Can of hair spray and a zippo, rapists don't like flame throwers