Come and have a go if you think you are hard enough - more commonly ennunciated as "Cummanavvagoifyafinkyerrardenuff"
best put down i have used of late was
"place ur hands firmly on each cheek and push your head should pop out"
Having spent 12 years serving Her Majesty (that's in the military not prison!), I was priviliged to overhear some absolute beauties along the way. These are my top three in reverse order
3. "I'll rip your arms off and beat you with the soggy ends!"
2. "Anymore of that and I'll rip out your spine and flail you to death with it!"
1. Sitting in a bar in Cyprus, some tourist was giving my mate grief for nicking his bar stool, my friend turned round, looked him up and down and said in a matter of fact way "Why don't you stop giving me a hard time and go take you face for a shit!" Needless to say the place went berserk and we ended up in the back of a military police van.
Ahhhh fond memories.........
Mr CC
having spent a similar amount of time working for her majesty i to have heard some good ones:-
1. fxxk off before i gouge your eyes out and skull fxxk you.
2. i've shit bigger and pissed harder fxxk off
and my favourite i,ve fought bigger to get to fights.
Think I prefer "f*ck off before I knock you into next week" or even "get outta my face or I'm gonna hit you so hard your arse will be eating weetabix tomorrow"
Sadi in a ladylike manner of course lol
Not sure if it counts .... but I remember a Ken Dodd gag went somthing like......".What a lovely day for walking up to the local Hells Angel club and saying ......I thought only faries wore wings ...."
Allegedly Sadam Hussain was heard to remark "yeah you and who's army ! "
I once overheard a man with his arm in a sling actually say " I could take you all on with one arm tied behind me back"
I've remembered another good one.....
When attempting to nick our taxi, two lads were informed by one of our group "Take one more step towards that taxi and the only thing that will beat you to the hospital is the headlights of the ambulance you'll be in!"
Mr CC
Always quite liked the.....
"anymore shit from you and I'll tear you a new arsehole"
and the classic
"I've thrown bigger out the road to get to a fight"
For crude symbolism
"Shut the fuck up before I stick my dick in your ear and fuck some sense into you"
or the old childhood favourite
"If brains were legs, you would be a snake"
or the ALL TIME CLASSIC
"Who hit your nose then, Goliath's big brother?"
lhk
Kat
what about these'
i will hit you that many times you'll think your surrounded
or i'll stick the nut on you that many times you'll think your a xmas cake
Back in schoolday squaring, someone once said to me "I've farted harder things than you".
My response of "I'm not surprised, given what's been up your arse" only served to aggravate him further....
Or,
" was your mother a weightlifter ?, she must have been to raise a dumbell like you! " :silly: :grin:
:love: xxx
or this one
start me pal and the next meal you have will be through a straw :twisted:
Oi nugget! One more step, and I'll take you outside and stick you to the road.
My old fav that, made up by me.
When Im finished with you, your mother is gonna need a photograph to remember what you looked like.
I'll rip your arm off and beat you with the stump.
Couldn't fight your way out of a wet paper bag.
I've shit bigger than you.
I'll take on two your size.
I'd slap you but shit splatters.
Call work and tell them you wont be in on Monday.
I'll knock your teeth so far down your throat, you'll have to stick your toothbrush up your hole to brush 'em.
Customer in kebab shop one night many moons ago " Come outside, and I'll rip your fuckin' head off! "
My friend " Is that a threat?
Customer in sarcastic tone of voice " Yeah, why are you scared? "
My friend " No. " Slaps guy, who drops like a sack of shit " I make promises, not threats
PMSL!
:twisted:
