I had the first response to an advert I replied to on Friday night. A reason to celebrate you might think, well.. I'm not so sure. It sort of panned out like this.
PM - My wife thinks you sound interesting.
ME - Great! What are you interested in?
PM - One word answer
ME - Okay, when would you like to meet.
This sort of stilted mono sylabic correspondence went on for a while, then.
PM - Do you use condoms.
ME - Yes health etc
PM - My wife doesn't like condoms.
Where are these people coming from? I don't know them. They obviously have had a number of partners and as far as they are concerned so have I. Why would they take these risks?
Why am I telling you this?
1. This is not the sort of tale you can just tell your friends.
2. I need moral support as my sex drive is begining to win over my head.
Advice and comments please.
Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
First contact - I need help!!
Quote by keeno
2. I need moral support as my sex drive is begining to win over my head.
Advice and comments please.
give yourself a very hard kick up the backside for even contemplating it for a start :shock:
there's no rapport there, there's no 'click', and they're asking you to play bareback when you have no idea who these people are. You idiot. :kick:
hows that for advice?
Sex God
Quote by Darkfire
I can only think of one statment if you did this and thats playing with fire.
i fookin hope not :shock:
So do I :shock:
Fire
Quote by keeno
Thanks for the advice. You kinda said what I wanted to hear. But it's good to hear it from other people.
Are there many people out there who go bareback? Cos I was gobsmacked when I read their response.
Glad you are seeing sense. I understand that it goes on but from my own point of view I can't believe that it does.
:censored:
Quote by keeno
Glad you are seeing sense. I understand that it goes on but from my own point of view I can't believe that it does.
:censored:
Trouble is, it's not about sense or logic.
Well IMHO I think it should be.
It's about wicked willy whispering in my ear.
Surely you can't be that horny that you would consider risking your life or bringing an unwanted child into the world?
That actually sounds ruder than I meant!!!
Quote by keeno
Are there many people out there who go bareback? Cos I was gobsmacked when I read their response.
I dunno how prevalent it is, but yeah it happens. You'll see alot of people say things like 'I'm D&D free' 0 implying that 'oh yeah, i definately havent got owt, honest' but is it worth the risk? you'll also see people specifically say they play bareback - as you have done already...
we can take the moral highground and say 'ooo nooo you mustn't do that' all we like, but it will alwyas come down the the individual's own choice.
The thing that always sticks in my head, and makes the decision for me, is the pyramid effect - how many other people have they played with, bareback, and how many have those partners played with, and how many have they played with..... and so it rumbles on. Imo using condoms is about protection and minimising risks - even if you're never likley to see that person again, if you're fucking them you have a responsibility to yourself, and to them, to show them enough respect to play safe. To me, that's the bottom line - what other folk do is up to them, but they wont be doing it with me
I often see a bareback room in chat and its allways full or close. Don't know if most of them are regular users of that room though so it's not the best guage of how common or not it is. But an indication that it's happens.
And no i never been in before my comment it ripped apart
I've just seen it.
And no i never been in before my comment it ripped apart
I've just seen it.
Quote by keeno
Why am I telling you this?
1. This is not the sort of tale you can just tell your friends.
2. I need moral support as my sex drive is begining to win over my head.
Advice and comments please.
Obviously it's up to you what you do, only you can deciede if the risk is worth it. From the tone of your post it sounds to me like you would insist on using condoms, but at the same time might waver under pressure at the crucial time.
What you have too bare in mind as this couple are in a very high risk group for carrying STI's. They may claim to be disease free (are they willing to show you a health certificate to prove they were clear on their last test?), but even if they are regualrly tested it can take up to 6months after infection for the HIV virus to be identified through blood testing.
If you go ahead with this meet, and you do use a condom and it splits, how would you cope? You will have 6 months of uncertainty while waiting to find out if you have been infected with HIV? Is it something you could take in your stride, or would it be a constant stress and worry?
It is your choice, just make sure it is an informed choice.
Les x
Once again thanks for the advice. I guess from the wording of my original bit you now how I feel. But and there is always a but. It feels like someone snatching away a chocolate cake and only letting you look. I know that's not a very good likeness but it's the best I can do. I don't know what hurts more the frustration of being so close or the disappointment of turning it down!!!
You guys have really helped.
You guys have really helped.
im not saying htese people were time wasters , but maybe they never indended on having unprotected sex as maybe they were never going to have sex???
i find some people talk with disregard as its actually fantasy.
the same as the bareback rooms. some people visit them out of interest, some in fantasy, some looking for reality.
Casting aside the whole no protection issue, do you really think this was a conversation that lead you to believe it would have been a fun meeting? as a female i would want more than the one liners, well in fact one word exchanges before i agreed to met. It was the man you were talking with, did the partner even know ???
Thats what this is all about isnt it , finding fun with liek minded people. dont pondre on what youve lost but what youve escaped. a stand up or a uncomfortable meeting.
xx lou xxx
i find some people talk with disregard as its actually fantasy.
the same as the bareback rooms. some people visit them out of interest, some in fantasy, some looking for reality.
Casting aside the whole no protection issue, do you really think this was a conversation that lead you to believe it would have been a fun meeting? as a female i would want more than the one liners, well in fact one word exchanges before i agreed to met. It was the man you were talking with, did the partner even know ???
Thats what this is all about isnt it , finding fun with liek minded people. dont pondre on what youve lost but what youve escaped. a stand up or a uncomfortable meeting.
xx lou xxx
Quote by fem_4_taboo
im not saying htese people were time wasters , but maybe they never indended on having unprotected sex as maybe they were never going to have sex???
i find some people talk with disregard as its actually fantasy.
the same as the bareback rooms. some people visit them out of interest, some in fantasy, some looking for reality.
Casting aside the whole no protection issue, do you really think this was a conversation that lead you to believe it would have been a fun meeting? as a female i would want more than the one liners, well in fact one word exchanges before i agreed to met. It was the man you were talking with, did the partner even know ???
Thats what this is all about isnt it , finding fun with liek minded people. dont pondre on what youve lost but what youve escaped. a stand up or a uncomfortable meeting.
xx lou xxx
That's a good point, I hadn't really thought about that. I was so amazed (flattered) that anybody would reply that I guess all logic and reason went out the window. When I think about what we are discussing, I feel rediculous, like a teenager all over again.
The constant support and advice from this thread has helped me and I hope will help others in my situation.
From teenager to pompous prick in one sentance - not bad
awwhh bless you keeno lol
i hope you didnt think i was making any slur towards you when i said they may not ever have intended on going to meet you .
settle in, attend a munch if you have one in your area and youll find some good people on here. Its much more fun meeting people you like and know a little about, you had doubts here and you went with your gut instinct. trust that its a pretty good guide normally.
have fun, take care , keep safe
xxx lou xxx
i hope you didnt think i was making any slur towards you when i said they may not ever have intended on going to meet you .
settle in, attend a munch if you have one in your area and youll find some good people on here. Its much more fun meeting people you like and know a little about, you had doubts here and you went with your gut instinct. trust that its a pretty good guide normally.
have fun, take care , keep safe
xxx lou xxx
Sex God
Quote by keeno
PM - Do you use condoms.
ME - Yes health etc
PM - My wife doesn't like condoms.
Where are these people coming from? I don't know them. They obviously have had a number of partners and as far as they are concerned so have I. Why would they take these risks?
Why am I telling you this?
1. This is not the sort of tale you can just tell your friends.
2. I need moral support as my sex drive is begining to win over my head.
Advice and comments please.
just think about it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
who else has been there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So how do I feel one week on?
Well, I feel enpowered, yes that's right enpowered. Like that song in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. (from the ashes of disaster grow the roses of success) It is nice to know that someone, however stupid, actually finds me disarable if only for a one off shag
I have been very positive this week, I have answered lots of ads and generally put myself about on the site. All with little success. Last Sat and Sun as you can imagine were real low points, the anti-depressants came out (that might explain my optimism!!).
Now I just feel philosophical, I might find someone, I might not. But I'm not, repeat not going to place my unprotected C**K anywhere like that.
Well, I feel enpowered, yes that's right enpowered. Like that song in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. (from the ashes of disaster grow the roses of success) It is nice to know that someone, however stupid, actually finds me disarable if only for a one off shag
I have been very positive this week, I have answered lots of ads and generally put myself about on the site. All with little success. Last Sat and Sun as you can imagine were real low points, the anti-depressants came out (that might explain my optimism!!).
Now I just feel philosophical, I might find someone, I might not. But I'm not, repeat not going to place my unprotected C**K anywhere like that.
