Just wanted to put a little post up about my first ever real swinging experience at club xtasia in birmingham on wednesday. It was absolutely fantastic. if a little quiet. but perfect for our first time. Only fault being, I got lucky but my bf didnt which led to him sitting not far away listening to my moans.. he did get emotional tho didnt show it till we got back to the hotel and after he had gone away for a bit and calmed down he did come back and get sucked off. We had a really long discussion that night and have set some proper rules out. One of our rules being no kissing and the other being we only go with a couple who want to swing with both of us, no singles and that way one isn't left out.. are these unreasonable rules? People keep telling me that swinging cud break us up and that it can become a replacement for our sex lives, however I feel we r stronger than ever, it has helped to form an evern stronger bond between us and as long as we keep communicating well we should be fine. Wot do you guys think?
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First time swinging in XTASIA
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I think the kissing topic is a very personal preference thing. I find that kissing is quite an important part of me getting turned on... and a great icebreaker... but I can do without if that is the wishes of the other party... I can understand why they would not want to kiss.
I don't like kissing guys tho... can happily suck their cock and enjoy it, but don't do kissing. I think this is one of the things that defines me as bi-curious rather than bi.... I like the sexual stuff, but I don't connect emotionally.
As for both of you having fun... I think in your case the fun comes from participating... so having the ground rule that you both get to participate is very important. There are some people who get their swinging thrill from not participating but instead watching... clearly you are not that type of couple.
Good luck in the future... just keep talking.!
I don't like kissing guys tho... can happily suck their cock and enjoy it, but don't do kissing. I think this is one of the things that defines me as bi-curious rather than bi.... I like the sexual stuff, but I don't connect emotionally.
As for both of you having fun... I think in your case the fun comes from participating... so having the ground rule that you both get to participate is very important. There are some people who get their swinging thrill from not participating but instead watching... clearly you are not that type of couple.
Good luck in the future... just keep talking.!
personally i cannot see how someone can have sex without kissing :shock: but thats just my views and i know we all like different, to me sex with no kissing is too clinical, i don't see kissing as intimate its the feeling for the person behind who your kissing that does that, you can kiss with lust and you can kiss with love same as any part of sex so to me how is kissing any different to having sex, how can sex not be intimate? because you are shagging for lust not love, does that make any sence? :lol2:
And i never get this whole i will kiss women but not men thing, what is the difference between a woman kissing a woman and a man as far as it being to intiment is concerned? again not pushing my views on others i just like to understand peoples views, as a bi woman i like men and women on a 50/50 level and personally i do not see kissing a woman any different to kissing a guy (besides the stubble that is).
I love kissing, i would not meet someone who had a no kissing rule
P.S Xtasia ain't in brum :lol2: (sorry had 2 be said)
And i never get this whole i will kiss women but not men thing, what is the difference between a woman kissing a woman and a man as far as it being to intiment is concerned? again not pushing my views on others i just like to understand peoples views, as a bi woman i like men and women on a 50/50 level and personally i do not see kissing a woman any different to kissing a guy (besides the stubble that is).
I love kissing, i would not meet someone who had a no kissing rule
P.S Xtasia ain't in brum :lol2: (sorry had 2 be said)
Quote by naughtynymphos1
personally i cannot see how someone can have sex without kissing :shock: but thats just my views and i know we all like different, to me sex with no kissing is too clinical, i don't see kissing as intimate its the feeling for the person behind who your kissing that does that, you can kiss with lust and you can kiss with love same as any part of sex so to me how is kissing any different to having sex, how can sex not be intimate? because you are shagging for lust not love, does that make any sence? :lol2:
And i never get this whole i will kiss women but not men thing, what is the difference between a woman kissing a woman and a man as far as it being to intiment is concerned? again not pushing my views on others i just like to understand peoples views, as a bi woman i like men and women on a 50/50 level and personally i do not see kissing a woman any different to kissing a guy (besides the stubble that is).
I love kissing, i would not meet someone who had a no kissing rule
P.S Xtasia ain't in brum :lol2: (sorry had 2 be said)
Agree with everything you said......if your going to be intimate with someone.....kissing shouldn't be a problem.
Quote by naughtynymphos1
And cum swapping.
what do you mean by that, that u use condoms so cum does not swap into the other persons body or you don't cum with others? (we actually met a couple once who had a no cumming with others rule :shock
I thought Sensori meant that kissing is ok when swapping cum from one mouth to another...
Quote by naughtynymphos1
And cum swapping.
what do you mean by that, that u use condoms so cum does not swap into the other persons body or you don't cum with others? (we actually met a couple once who had a no cumming with others rule :shock
Let's not get on about that "no cumming with other's" rule!
Im with Da69ve & NN1 on this one. I just cannot get really into the sex unless there is kissing. I find it as much a part of the experience as the touching & the f%4king. Agree with NN1, theres intimacy, theres emotion & then theres out & out tongue twisting tonsil tickling kissing which is all to do with the pure lust of the situation & nothing more. Personally, I see no point in interaction unless theres some attraction.
I guess everyone has their own rules that others find inconsistent. For instance my F-Buddy loves giving oral to another woman, but dislikes receiving it, but she loves receiving from a guy.
Jointly we also have a rule in swing clubs of "No private rooms". Were happy to play with a wide variety of people, or one of us watch the other playing, but we do it in the open areas & wont go to locked rooms. Partly an exhibitionist thing (e.g. last night in Chams) but mainly just one of those unexplainable not getting emotionally involved mechanisms we have adopted.
I guess everyone has their own rules that others find inconsistent. For instance my F-Buddy loves giving oral to another woman, but dislikes receiving it, but she loves receiving from a guy.
Jointly we also have a rule in swing clubs of "No private rooms". Were happy to play with a wide variety of people, or one of us watch the other playing, but we do it in the open areas & wont go to locked rooms. Partly an exhibitionist thing (e.g. last night in Chams) but mainly just one of those unexplainable not getting emotionally involved mechanisms we have adopted.
Quote by postie
And cum swapping.
what do you mean by that, that u use condoms so cum does not swap into the other persons body or you don't cum with others? (we actually met a couple once who had a no cumming with others rule :shock
I thought Sensori meant that kissing is ok when swapping cum from one mouth to another...
Exactly!
Quote by seagull69
Personaly I find it weird kissing people I feel nothing for.
But your have sex with them?
Yes but sex can be unemotional. I find that kissing needs emotion. I have kissed people when swinging but find it strange as I have not connected emotionally with them.
Not all the time.....what about when you were young,ever gone clubbing and got off with some girl that there was no emotional attachment to.
Maybe there is a difference between kissing and snogging?
:rotflmao: :rotflmao:Quote by da69ve
Personaly I find it weird kissing people I feel nothing for.
But your have sex with them?
Yes but sex can be unemotional. I find that kissing needs emotion. I have kissed people when swinging but find it strange as I have not connected emotionally with them.
Not all the time.....what about when you were young,ever gone clubbing and got off with some girl that there was no emotional attachment to.
Maybe there is a difference between kissing and snogging?
Well never been clubbing but was a punk for a while and I still felt it strange Kissing and shagging a girl that I felt absolutelly nothing for
Quote by seagull69
Personaly I find it weird kissing people I feel nothing for.
But your have sex with them?
Yes but sex can be unemotional. I find that kissing needs emotion. I have kissed people when swinging but find it strange as I have not connected emotionally with them.
Not all the time.....what about when you were young,ever gone clubbing and got off with some girl that there was no emotional attachment to.
Maybe there is a difference between kissing and snogging?
Well never been clubbing but was a punk for a while and I still felt it strange Kissing and shagging a girl that I felt absolutelly nothing for
you obviously still did it tho :rascal:
though that was what swinging was about sex without the emotions?
Quote by naughtynymphos1
Personaly I find it weird kissing people I feel nothing for.
But your have sex with them?
Yes but sex can be unemotional. I find that kissing needs emotion. I have kissed people when swinging but find it strange as I have not connected emotionally with them.
Not all the time.....what about when you were young,ever gone clubbing and got off with some girl that there was no emotional attachment to.
Maybe there is a difference between kissing and snogging?
Well never been clubbing but was a punk for a while and I still felt it strange Kissing and shagging a girl that I felt absolutelly nothing for
you obviously still did it tho :rascal:
though that was what swinging was about sex without the emotions?
I agree with you. Swinging for me and the Mrs is sex without the emotion. I just find it strange kissing people I don't feel anything for. Shagging them seems ok though
Well everyone is different. I dont mind kissing someone at all but my boyfriend finds this hard to deal with. I think he feels that he wants to keep something sacred so to speak and kissing is what he has chosen. I can see your point, surely sex would be seen as more intimate but I can also see it from a different point of view, the way I see it, sex is something you do to get a result, I.E an orgasm whereas kissing alone doesn't really have a result so then at least for my partner, he would think, why is she kissing him, because she isnt going to get an orgasm from it.. do u get me? I love kissing, and it gets me hot but its not essential to turn me on so I am quite happy to not kiss the ppl we swing with. On another note, I am more worried about my other rule, where we only swing with a couple who want to swing with us, no singles sort of thing so neither r left out, but is this gonna be hard to find? Will this hinder us so to speak?
Cassie
Cassie
Quote by jawa350tyga
Well everyone is different. I dont mind kissing someone at all but my boyfriend finds this hard to deal with. I think he feels that he wants to keep something sacred so to speak and kissing is what he has chosen. I can see your point, surely sex would be seen as more intimate but I can also see it from a different point of view, the way I see it, sex is something you do to get a result, I.E an orgasm whereas kissing alone doesn't really have a result so then at least for my partner, he would think, why is she kissing him, because she isnt going to get an orgasm from it.. do u get me? I love kissing, and it gets me hot but its not essential to turn me on so I am quite happy to not kiss the ppl we swing with. On another note, I am more worried about my other rule, where we only swing with a couple who want to swing with us, no singles sort of thing so neither r left out, but is this gonna be hard to find? Will this hinder us so to speak?
Cassie
I don't think you will find it hard to find another couple especially if you go to a couples only night at a club
Sex God
Quote by seagull69
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I agree with you. Swinging for me and the Mrs is sex without the emotion. I just find it strange kissing people I don't feel anything for. Shagging them seems ok though
Same for me and dino :thumbup:
