Food for thought

8 Sep 2006

Just some food for thought. I consider myself, a well brought up, well mannerde and easy going guy, and most people I`ve met would say the same. However, it continues to do my head in when, whilst contacting people through this site or saying "hi" in a chatroom that they feel they should totally blank you. Now I`m well enough schooled in life to understand that I`m not everyone`s cup of tea but hey, I`m an adult (that`s a grown up for the people I`m talking about) if you`re not interested that`s all you have to say and I`m man enough to say "no problem, sorry I botherd you, good luck and good-bye" no hard feelings. So to that end, if someone takes the time and effort to read and reply to your ad, do the decent thing and at least reply to them......that is, after all, how this site is meant to work.
Ok I feel better now my little rant is over lol Hope to talk to some of you soon.

8 Sep 2006

granted.......but i`m talking if someone has replied then chances are they`re going to be on again, if not at the time, or if they speak to you in a chatroom....i`m only guessing, but there`s every chance they`re there? I`m just saying it`s nice to be important but more inportant to be nice.

8 Sep 2006

Quote by Pete2Hot
Just some food for thought. I consider myself, a well brought up, well mannerde and easy going guy, and most people I`ve met would say the same. However, it continues to do my head in when, whilst contacting people through this site or saying "hi" in a chatroom that they feel they should totally blank you. Now I`m well enough schooled in life to understand that I`m not everyone`s cup of tea but hey, I`m an adult (that`s a grown up for the people I`m talking about) if you`re not interested that`s all you have to say and I`m man enough to say "no problem, sorry I botherd you, good luck and good-bye" no hard feelings. So to that end, if someone takes the time and effort to read and reply to your ad, do the decent thing and at least reply to them......that is, after all, how this site is meant to work.
Ok I feel better now my little rant is over lol Hope to talk to some of you soon.

Thing is, if a singe fem goes into the chatroom she gets that many guys saying "hi" if she replied to them all, she would do nothing else!!!! Even in the no whispers rooms they try it on!!! Now saying hi in the room and having a nice friendly chat is fine, but come on.... "Hi" to most guys means "can I fuck you"... does it not?
Say goes for replies to ads... if a single fem replied to every single ad she's need to employ a PA... it becomes not fun!!!!
I do take your point about it's polite to reply but you do have to see it from the other side, and not replying is often nothing to do with not being polite
Does that make sense?

8 Sep 2006

I can only talk for myself of course but if i say hi to a single female for e.g it doesn`t automatically mean i want to fuck her at all, it mearly means i`m saying hello. obviously it`s more to do with replying to emails etc as, like you say, if you responded to every "hi" you got in a room you`d be at it all night. I didn`t meant to start a war here, I just think as the title said it`s something to think about.

8 Sep 2006

Pete when i started in the chatrooms i thought the same way but really if we all said hi then there wouldnt be time to chat lol

After a while using a small selection off rooms people will get to know you and start saying hi sometimes before you do.
On the other hand if you room hop this is unlikely to happen
This is what i've learned myself on here.
As for PM's well some people get so many they just can't personally reply to all. Best idea is to take a no reply as a no thanks and forget it or try again much later.
It does take a heck of a lot of perseverance and time to become known on here and anywhere else for that matter.
Even now i still feel pretty new here compared to the regulars but feel mostly welcome but there is still a lot of "getting to know you" for me even now.

8 Sep 2006

Quote by Pete2Hot
I can only talk for myself of course but if i say hi to a single female for e.g it doesn`t automatically mean i want to fuck her at all, it mearly means i`m saying hello. obviously it`s more to do with replying to emails etc as, like you say, if you responded to every "hi" you got in a room you`d be at it all night. I didn`t meant to start a war here, I just think as the title said it`s something to think about.

well according to you your a nice fella... and i dont doubt that...
but are your replies to emails worth replying to?
do you send a face pic.. ...?
do you reply to ads where you are strictly within the criteria?
did you appreciate that you wont be the only respondent and unless youve got something special your unlikely to get any form of response?
one of the keys.... aswell as being all the things that you say u are (which i dont doubt) to success on this site ........is a good marketing stratergy........ think about your advert reply... pick your audience............
oh yeah... by the way.... sometimes nice doesnt cut the mustard either......

8 Sep 2006

I understand and agree with everything you`re all saying, I`ve been using this and other sites for some time so I have a fair understanding of how these things work. I know it sounded and was posted as a rant and it`s good to hear other`s thoughts on the subject.
Yes I do only reply to the exact criteria requested by the advertiser etc etc etc and it would help greatly if others did likewise and i`m sure you`d all agree there. I know nice isn`t always what`s wanted, but when i say i`m "nice" i mean i`m a decent and genuine guy, but of course i am competing with loads of peeps that just ain`t what they say.

8 Sep 2006

Quote by Pete2Hot
when i say i`m "nice" i mean i`m a decent and genuine guy, but of course i am competing with loads of peeps that just ain`t what they say.

your also competing with peeps who are also decent and genuine..... which is exactly why your reply should stand out...
even then it doesnt guarantee a response... it just gives you a better chance..........
good luck
wink

8 Sep 2006

I know excactly where you're coming from .....
Especially when you take the time out to compose what you believe to be an interesting and meaningful message...... only to see that it's been read - But you don't even get a polite 'no thanks'
I felt the same when I first started here a good while ago...
After all ----- how come they can't even say 'no thanks'!
My thinking changed when I was at a ladies house (that I met through here--- it does happen eventually....lol)
She actually showed me her in box........... I was completely gobsmacked to say the least!!!!!!!
She must have had over 100 messages.......... and many were not appetising in the subject line ...... so I would certainly not have opened them all.
She was honest enough to admit that she would delete the vast majority....read a few and then Maybe reply to one or two
So now I never let it get to me if I'm 'ignored'........... as I no longer think I am being.....it's just that there are only so many hours in a day for the people I send mail to ..... and today it's not my turn to be replied to......lol

8 Sep 2006

A cut n paste of a previous reply is about all I can manage at the moment...

Quote by PoloLady
I wasn't going to say anything, as one day you will open your eyes and realise what utter tosh it is to be expected to plough through 100's of PM's - just to demonstrate good manners to a bunch of people you have never met and just don't know..... BUT...
something got the better of me (probably because I have just finished a 2 hour stint of answering PM's).
I set out once to answer every PM - even if just to say 'no thanks'.
Last week I had a moment of clarity - regardless of the 1000+ PM's I had previously sent replies to - I still found I had 1300+ PM's in my inbox (they had of course built up over a period of time). I decided that I had to bite the bullet and just delete the lot.
Now if as a result of doing that, some person I have never met thinks I am an ignorant bitch - so what? The alternative would have been to make replying to PM's a full-time job. I have a job already and I know without doubt answering PM's will not pay the salary I currently am rewarded with from my employer.
Since deleting all of the previous PM's and totally clearing my inbox at the begining of the week - I have had another 100+ arrive. I have managed to read, consider and reply to all of them (apart from 4 - which were so crap I decided to just delete).
Whilst I am at present back on top of my emails - should I ever find myself in a similar position as last week - I would do the same again.
Afterall - what is the point of answering all of your PM's if it is going to leave you with no time to actually FUCK!

8 Sep 2006

Quote by PoloLady
A cut n paste of a previous reply is about all I can manage at the moment...

I wasn't going to say anything, as one day you will open your eyes and realise what utter tosh it is to be expected to plough through 100's of PM's - just to demonstrate good manners to a bunch of people you have never met and just don't know..... BUT...
something got the better of me (probably because I have just finished a 2 hour stint of answering PM's).
I set out once to answer every PM - even if just to say 'no thanks'.
Last week I had a moment of clarity - regardless of the 1000+ PM's I had previously sent replies to - I still found I had 1300+ PM's in my inbox (they had of course built up over a period of time). I decided that I had to bite the bullet and just delete the lot.
Now if as a result of doing that, some person I have never met thinks I am an ignorant bitch - so what? The alternative would have been to make replying to PM's a full-time job. I have a job already and I know without doubt answering PM's will not pay the salary I currently am rewarded with from my employer.
Since deleting all of the previous PM's and totally clearing my inbox at the begining of the week - I have had another 100+ arrive. I have managed to read, consider and reply to all of them (apart from 4 - which were so crap I decided to just delete).
Whilst I am at present back on top of my emails - should I ever find myself in a similar position as last week - I would do the same again.
Afterall - what is the point of answering all of your PM's if it is going to leave you with no time to actually FUCK!

:thumbup:

8 Sep 2006

Quote by bluexxx
A cut n paste of a previous reply is about all I can manage at the moment...

I wasn't going to say anything, as one day you will open your eyes and realise what utter tosh it is to be expected to plough through 100's of PM's - just to demonstrate good manners to a bunch of people you have never met and just don't know..... BUT...
something got the better of me (probably because I have just finished a 2 hour stint of answering PM's).
I set out once to answer every PM - even if just to say 'no thanks'.
Last week I had a moment of clarity - regardless of the 1000+ PM's I had previously sent replies to - I still found I had 1300+ PM's in my inbox (they had of course built up over a period of time). I decided that I had to bite the bullet and just delete the lot.
Now if as a result of doing that, some person I have never met thinks I am an ignorant bitch - so what? The alternative would have been to make replying to PM's a full-time job. I have a job already and I know without doubt answering PM's will not pay the salary I currently am rewarded with from my employer.
Since deleting all of the previous PM's and totally clearing my inbox at the begining of the week - I have had another 100+ arrive. I have managed to read, consider and reply to all of them (apart from 4 - which were so crap I decided to just delete).
Whilst I am at present back on top of my emails - should I ever find myself in a similar position as last week - I would do the same again.
Afterall - what is the point of answering all of your PM's if it is going to leave you with no time to actually FUCK!

:thumbup:
Ditto! I placed an ad once for a single male, had 300 replies in the first couple of days and as much as I promised myself I would reply to each and every one, I found it was an impossible task. After deleting without reply the winks, disgusting messages and men who hadn't seen passed the first line of my ad, I still found my fingers worn down to the knuckles trying to keep on top of it.

8 Sep 2006

Understand what you're saying and there have been many threads along the same lines and probably many more to come.
It all depends how much effort you're willing to put in. Maybe if you have a lot of time and patience you can reply to all, but everyone has a life outside of here. Can't really say much more than has already been suggested in this thread, quality, stand our and eventually you will smile.
I don't exactly get 100's ( or double figures anymore :cry: ) but last night I was in the chat room and the minute you're seen as a female with a working cam - it's bam, Hi 's and hello's popping up all over the place and whispers coming in from all sides. You can try and be polite as much as you can but it's a cse of being inundated. Don't take it personally smile

8 Sep 2006

... and then of course whilst you sweat away replying/deleting/checking profiles of possible people you may be interested in... more PM's arrive!
Then you have to keep checking the â€˜sentâ€™ items to check if you have replied or not before you deleteâ€¦
Meanwhileâ€¦ more PMâ€™s arriveâ€¦
So you sift through to answer the ones from your actual friends, before trying to reply to a few more from the â€˜hopefulsâ€™ and find some from folks you have already replied to contacting you again (some invited , some NOT)â€¦
It starts becoming to feel a bit tedious so, you think â€“ Iâ€™ll just have a look in the cafÃ©.
A short while later you head back to the PM boxâ€¦then it starts getting confusing as you canâ€™t actually remember why you replied to some of the replies to your replies â€“ so you have to go and check thatâ€¦
The sometimes it seems easier to flick through a hole bunch in one go and just delete the completely crap ones, with every intention of coming back to the others later. However, by the time you get around to doing thatâ€¦
more fucking PMâ€™s arrive!
I'll get around to the subject of the chatroom shortly wink

8 Sep 2006

So we single males do have a few options then...
1. Be grateful that we only have 1 or 2 emails a month to reply to - so we can sit and compose a very nice reply.
2. Be extremely appreciative when we do actually get a reply..... and treat it with great respect - whether we end up playing or not.
3. Consider a sex change if we want loads of replies and have 36 hours a day to answer them all.
4. Keep on keeping on ....and try and make more use of the forums to get to know people.
Think I'll stick with option 4 ...... that's how I've met a couple of ladies off here, and at least I know people are looking at my profile and to some degree - getting to know a bit more about me.
At the end of the day - if it was just sex that we all wanted I'm sure it could be found in local pubs and clubs!
For me however - I like this site and forum 'cos I would like to be able to be friends with the people I play with.....and also don't want to mislead anyone who's really looking for a long term commited relationship!
So if it takes a bit more effort - in my opinion - it's worth it to find people I can converse with, play with, and be honest that I only want sex for the pleasure of it ---- not to make babies, find a wife, or any of that!
BTW.......... I too have noticed that the more you post in the forums ..... the more people notice you............ I used to just read and view for nearly a year before I started posting..... and funnily enough - I never really had anyone check me out back then.....lol
That all said ----- I really don't know how some of the ladies on the site cope?
I struggle to keep up with all the forum posts ....... can't imagine what it would be like to have inboxes full of mail from people who hadn't read my profile or ad properly....or worse still were making suggestions totally the opposite from what I was looking for ---- what a nightmare.
So if I happen to write you --- rest assured I'll never moan that you don't reply - and would still love to chat if we ever meet up at a munch or otherwise!
And I KNOW many of the other single guys on here feel the same.
As for guys that haven't quiet understood the thread - there are two main choices
Accept that you won't get replies to most of your emails and adapt to it...... or give up trying (in which case- you'll still get no replies.....LOL)
lol

8 Sep 2006

I don't wish to sound negative - and I am only talking from personal experience.
But if I get a cut 'n' paste one-liner or somebody who obviously hasn't read my profile before messaging me, I don't reply anymore. My reason is that these type of people tend to see the thanks but no thanks reply as an 'in'. An excuse to try again by replying because you replied to them.
* Disclaimer: Yes I know I shouldn't make sweeping statements and I know I'm not going to get it right every time.

12 Sep 2006

I`m just happy I was able to bring so many cool peeps together for a natter lol good to know I`m not the only genuine person on here.......right.....What`s the meaning of life? Discuss! lol

12 Sep 2006

Quote by DeviousLiasons
On the other hand... in a room full of 70 chatters... if everyone replies to every "hello" personally... it'd be like the longest ever episode of the Waltons and nothing else would get said!

good answer devious if there is no more than say 15 in the chatroom i say hi to every one of its busy i just say hi to the people i know and anyone that specifically talks to me its hard to keep up sometimes in the chat room and things are missed when checking profiles or wispering someone manners cost nothing but none of us are absolutely perfect