I find it easy to forgive people but there comes a point in me that I can be unforgiving, I can give three chances to people and I would always apologise for things I have done if I feel I have caused upset or even for things I don’t feel I have caused.
But if I still feel I am not forgiven something dies within me it is like a candle being blow out it never gets relit.
I don’t like myself when this happens and I feel guilty and generally I know it is unjust guilt but I can not help feeling it.
Why then do I carry guilt?
I have never understood this part of me.
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Forgiveness
I know exactly where you are coming from minxy. I find it very easy to forgive and forget, but find that some people (not many) do not seem to have that capacity. I don't know if it's a pride thing with them but I find it very frustrating and saddening. A little bit of me never recovers from a snub and refusal to forgive from someone I thought was a friend.
We carry the past with us. Sometimes it is good, fun memories, things we have done well. However the best of us make mistakes, screw-up and hurt people, but it is only the best of us that feel bad about it.
I have complete faith in my belief; that there are far more who are pleased that you have been part of their lives than not.
Cheer up.
Travis
I have complete faith in my belief; that there are far more who are pleased that you have been part of their lives than not.
Cheer up.
Travis
Quote by fluff_n_stuff
I know exactly where you are coming from minxy. I find it very easy to forgive and forget, but find that some people (not many) do not seem to have that capacity. I don't know if it's a pride thing with them but I find it very frustrating and saddening. A little bit of me never recovers from a snub and refusal to forgive from someone I thought was a friend.
Fluff you have hit the nail on the head, I feel frustrated and sad, maybe it isn't guilt.
Is there a differance?
Quote by Theladyisaminx
I know exactly where you are coming from minxy. I find it very easy to forgive and forget, but find that some people (not many) do not seem to have that capacity. I don't know if it's a pride thing with them but I find it very frustrating and saddening. A little bit of me never recovers from a snub and refusal to forgive from someone I thought was a friend.
Fluff you have hit the nail on the head, I feel frustrated and sad, maybe it isn't guilt.
Is there a differance?
Guilt is what you feel when you have done something wrong, or haven't done something that you should have. When you try to make amends for that wrong and it is rejected, I don't think what you feel is more guilt. We are all human and make mistakes. You may feel frustration that person concerned has no capacity for listening and perhaps forgiving, and sadness that you cannot make them feel better. They are also human and that is their mistake.
Life is far too short to waste time on petty grievances that could be forgotten or learned from. There are more fish in the sea, but I value friends and grieve for those that become lost to me. If they want to be lost to you, let them go and move on, but I know it is hard.
Quote by fluff_n_stuff
I know exactly where you are coming from minxy. I find it very easy to forgive and forget, but find that some people (not many) do not seem to have that capacity. I don't know if it's a pride thing with them but I find it very frustrating and saddening. A little bit of me never recovers from a snub and refusal to forgive from someone I thought was a friend.
Fluff you have hit the nail on the head, I feel frustrated and sad, maybe it isn't guilt.
Is there a differance?
Guilt is what you feel when you have done something wrong, or haven't done something that you should have. When you try to make amends for that wrong and it is rejected, I don't think what you feel is more guilt. We are all human and make mistakes. You may feel frustration that person concerned has no capacity for listening and perhaps forgiving, and sadness that you cannot make them feel better. They are also human and that is their mistake.
Life is far too short to waste time on petty grievances that could be forgotten or learned from. There are more fish in the sea, but I value friends and grieve for those that become lost to me. If they want to be lost to you, let them go and move on, but I know it is hard.
It is hard when it is a friend and now is my brothers partner, I helped her through hard times. I helped her move twice I decorated her place for her, I had her children while she and my brother had time together.
I forgot about a dinner date as my children had a busy day I was wrapped up with them, and I have never been forgiven, three times I have apologised and then at a family BBQ I put my arms around her kissed her to get shrugged off and not even spoken to. It was at this point something in me died.
I feel I have not just lost a friend but a brother too who I was there for during an awful divorce.
A few months after she had a very sad time, I was asked to call her, I just could not bring myself to do it, I felt I would feel the wrath of her pain, I was a coward and for that I feel guilty.
But the only positive I can pull from it is that they have each other and are happy, so feel if that was the reason I was her friend for such a short time, it is a sacrifice I am willing to pay.
Quote by Theladyisaminx
I find it easy to forgive people but there comes a point in me that I can be unforgiving, I can give three chances to people and I would always apologise for things I have done if I feel I have caused upset or even for things I don’t feel I have caused.
But if I still feel I am not forgiven something dies within me it is like a candle being blow out it never gets relit.
I don’t like myself when this happens and I feel guilty and generally I know it is unjust guilt but I can not help feeling it.
Why then do I carry guilt?
I have never understood this part of me.
I fully understand how you feel babes. Trouble is, some people aren't very forgiving and just won't accept apologies - no matter how sincere they are and yes, it does make you feel bad.
You've done your part and you have nothing to feel guilty over. If the other person can't or won't accept that then maybe they're not as nice a friend as they make themselves out to be and you're better off without them
Sex God
I forgive, Nola for clearly being bored and spending the afternoon in the cellar bumping old threads.
:giggle:
:giggle: 
Sex God
Quote by Sarah
I forgive, Nola for clearly being bored and spending the afternoon in the cellar bumping old threads.
Thanks! 
Sex God
I forgive the people who moved my tins and kept knocking my magnets off the dishwasher on Saturday 
But I'm putting a lock on the pantry door next time they visit!
But I'm putting a lock on the pantry door next time they visit!
Sex God
Quote by Freckledbird
I forgive the people who moved my tins and kept knocking my magnets off the dishwasher on Saturday
But I'm putting a lock on the pantry door next time they visit!
I would lock the kitchen, better safe that sorry :giggle:
Sex God
Quote by Dave__Notts
I forgive the people who moved my tins and kept knocking my magnets off the dishwasher on Saturday
But I'm putting a lock on the pantry door next time they visit!
They sound like buggers. I wouldn't do anything like that :angel:
Dave_Notts
You are not forgiven, however. You did it sneakily and plotted against me!
