An elderly man and an elderly woman meet up at an old folk’s home. They get very friendly, but being quite frail their sex life simply consists of the old man getting his tackle out and the woman holding it for a while. Everything is fine for a few weeks, but then the man stops coming to her room. She looks all round the home and finds him with another woman. “What’s she got that I haven’t ?â€, she demands. ‘â€Parkinson’s†he replies.
Two old guys suffering from Alzheimer's are sitting on a bench when an Ice Cream van comes down the street.
“Do you want one†asks the first guy.
â€Yes, I'll have a cone but write it down or otherwise you will forget†says the second.
â€No I won't†says the first.
â€Look I want a cone with a flake and I know you will forget so write it down†says the second.
â€I won't forget†says the first guy getting slightly irritated.
â€OK then look I want a cone, a flake and strawberry sauce, now write it down or you will forget†says the second.
The first guy is getting quite miffed now and still argues that he won't forget.
The second guy says irritably, “I want a cone, a flake, strawberry sauce and hundreds and thousands sprinkled all over. You won't remember all that now WRITE IT
The first guy now really annoyed walks off and five minutes later comes back with a meat pie.
The second guy looks at him and says "Where's me bloody chips ?"
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Friday Jokes
The traveler knocked on the door of the house where a cabdriver had told him he could be sexually accommodated. An eye-level panel slid open and a female voice asked what he wanted. "I want to get screwed," said the man.
"Right OK, mister, but this is a private club so if you post a twenty through the letterbox as an initiation fee, we'll help you out," answered the voice.
The man did this, the panel was closed, minutes passed. Nothing happened. He began to pound on the door insistently, and the panel slid open.
"Hey," exclaimed the sport, "I want to get screwed!"
"What?" said the voice, "Again?"
boom, boom
"Right OK, mister, but this is a private club so if you post a twenty through the letterbox as an initiation fee, we'll help you out," answered the voice.
The man did this, the panel was closed, minutes passed. Nothing happened. He began to pound on the door insistently, and the panel slid open.
"Hey," exclaimed the sport, "I want to get screwed!"
"What?" said the voice, "Again?"
boom, boom
