Fruit incidents...

5 Jun 2004

I remember me and Steve being somewhat adventurous on night when we were first together and decided to try out different objects..........................
......we decided to go for a banana first,with the peel on it was a bit uncomfortable,so we thought we'd try it without,
Only problem was that it got stuck,bloody broke off and got stuck, :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
So Steve spent the rest of our adventurous evening delving redface

ops: :oops: :oops:
So funnily enough i will never look at a banana the same again, confused

:? :?
So please tell me that theres people out there that have had similar incidents and that its not just me :!: :!: :!: :!: :!:
Clare,xx wink

5 Jun 2004

Clare N Steve
its not a fruit, but many people of a certain age may well have tried the Mars bar. ( mick jagger /marianne faithful, If necessary I will explain in PM) )It is said the ridges on the upper surface emulate the veins on a bloke's bits.
past fiancee insisted i do the deed, this was before maxi Mars bars. she was hot stuff and melted the choc bar to a narrow point and was deliciously choclatey for days afterwards.
Its worth a try once, but go for the maxi size!!! and chill it for lasting hardness!
She did taste delicious for days after!
Clare If you try it ensure Steve is an oral obsessive
Dammit Clare sit on him he will love it!
Gilbert

5 Jun 2004

'Cos you don't like single guys I'm going to say
Pineappppple
Fresh and whole

5 Jun 2004

Quote by dambuster
'Cos you don't like single guys I'm going to say
Pineappppple
Fresh and whole

We have nothing against single guys,dont think so with the pineapple

5 Jun 2004

I have nothing against single guys either. Remember rule number two.

5 Jun 2004

Freeze the banana for a while first smile

An aquintence of mine was playing with a frozen banana once and was a bit over-vigerous... it broke off inside her and she couldn't get it out. Unfortunately the only person she could get to take her on an already embarrasing trip to the A&E was her father!
Talk about dying of shame! lol

5 Jun 2004

Quote by billybofh
Freeze the banana for a while first
An aquintence of mine was playing with a frozen banana once and was a bit over-vigerous... it broke off inside her and she couldn't get it out. Unfortunately the only person she could get to take her on an already embarrasing trip to the A&E was her father!
Talk about dying of shame!

I thought mine was bad!!!! redface

ops:
Poor thing!
Clare,xx

5 Jun 2004

at least mars bars melt , and continue to be tasty
gilbert

5 Jun 2004

Quote by gilbert
at least mars bars melt , and continue to be tasty
gilbert

MMmmmmm may have to try that one!!! wink

:wink: :wink:
Clare,xxx

5 Jun 2004

Quote by dambuster
'Cos you don't like single guys I'm going to say
Pineappppple
Fresh and whole

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Bend over then :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

6 Jun 2004

Mrs davej has just asked me, if any of this counts towards the reccomended five portions of fruit and veg a day. Mr davej is looking at the brussel sprouts that are in her hand and is thinking................
noooooo................. just put them in the boiling water !!!!

6 Jun 2004

hmm...extra-ribbed,frozen banana shaped mars bars powered with duracell batteries....we could make a fortune rodney!!!

6 Jun 2004

Gilbert said:

many people of a certain age may well have tried the Mars bar. ( jagger /asher If necessary I will explain in PM)

Erm, I think you mean Jagger/Faithfull
Mike.

6 Jun 2004

Quote by mattius
hmm...extra-ribbed,frozen banana shaped mars bars powered with duracell batteries....we could make a fortune rodney!!!

I can see it now .......
"swinging Heaven is proud to present its new range of toys,staring with,"the amazing Banana Mars" promises to hit the spot every time"
Interesting side line perhaps??
Clare,xx

6 Jun 2004

yes clairensteve...an online swingers shop....i can see it now..."try before you buy,free home delivery from mattius!!!"
its early morning....im smiling...does anyone go dogging early morning cus im so in the mood right now.
remind me what this thread was about

6 Jun 2004

Quote by mattius
yes clairensteve...an online swingers shop....i can see it now..."try before you buy,free home delivery from mattius!!!"

How could they all refuse??lol biggrin

:D :D
Clare,xx

6 Jun 2004

The Mars Bar thing doest really appeal to me after someone telling me about "Mars Bar Parties" when i was about 11. It's put me off for life!!

6 Jun 2004

When I asked mrs davej if she wanted to try this with a Picnic she almost succeded but the fasteners on the wicker basket were the problem

6 Jun 2004

:laughabove:

:laughabove: :rotflmao::laughabove: :rotflmao::laughabove: :rotflmao:

7 Jun 2004

Sometimes buy a extra cucumber when doing the shopping at Tesco, but they can be a bit on the big side . . . redface

7 Jun 2004

I bought a large cucumber once when they were selling them off cheap , stuck it through the vicars letter box , then shouted up the stairs "The Martians have landed"

7 Jun 2004

As a nurse who has done my fair share of time in A&E..................if you had seen what I had seen , you would probably never eat fruit OR veg , ever again !!!!!

7 Jun 2004

Quote by waddy256
As a nurse who has done my fair share of time in A&E..................if you had seen what I had seen , you would probably never eat fruit OR veg , ever again !!!!!

Why not surely all you have to do is rinse the tin off :shock:

7 Jun 2004

Quote by waddy256
As a nurse who has done my fair share of time in A&E..................if you had seen what I had seen , you would probably never eat fruit OR veg , ever again !!!!!

come on Waddy , spill the beans, altho I suspect they are the last of your worries
so let us know what you have had to deal with..... for research purposes of course! ( IE that which we should avoid as it prob don't work!!_
Gilbert

7 Jun 2004

This is a new area for me , is there a bit of fridhtening looking chrome plated kit with a long latin name which translates as " The machine that gets bananas out of pussies , and fascinates medical students" ?

7 Jun 2004

I was once treated with an HAWIIAN SUPRISE, which consisted of a dear lady decorating my penis with pineapple rings, squirty cream and a half cherry....?
I guess it is how many rings that some may ponder, or how many tins? Mind the sticky juice smell WAS scrummy!

7 Jun 2004

Quote by EMMA & DAVE
Sometimes buy a extra cucumber when doing the shopping at Tesco, but they can be a bit on the big side . . .

Try a courgette instead!
Mrs RSAB2 xxx

7 Jun 2004

Quote by RSAB2
Try a courgette instead!
Mrs RSAB2 xxx

I was in a supermarket a while back and bought two whopping courgettes. The girl on the till said something along the lines of (in a slightly saucy voice) "My, they're nice and big"... To which I replied "Yes, one for the pot and one for the bedroom".
She seemed a little flustered smile