Funniest Swinging Moments

25 Jun 2011

I was thinking back over the past few years, and there have been a fair few chucklesome moments.
What have been your funniest swinging moments?
Mine include the time I was at a club with a potential fuck buddy and I was wearing a sheer black top and pvc skirt. There was a reason for the skirt, as opposed to tottering about in my lingerie, as he realised when we decided to take a dip in the jacuzzi...
Two days earlier I had spectacularly fallen down a flight of concrete stairs and I was bruised - completely - from the base of my spine, all across my ass cheeks and down to the top of my thighs. I'd bounced down the steps, so the bruises were almost in a series of straight lines, looking suspiciously planned...
I got naked... he stared at me aghast and whispered hurriedly "People are going to think I did that to you, aren't they?! I'm *so* not into that S&M stuff!"
Poor guy was horrified!
Made me laugh though! lol

25 Jun 2011

After a session of dogging on a beach, having to get my car pulled out of the sand by a local farmer

25 Jun 2011

Quote by amatuerman
After a session of dogging on a beach, having to get my car pulled out of the sand by a local farmer

Oh no! Did the people you'd met stick around to help?

25 Jun 2011

Once had my clutch cable go on the way to a meet, I pulled to a stop on a quiet lane just off a motorway junction. Called my dad and asked him to pick me up, he said it would be 40 mins.
25 mins later a car pulls up behind me and stops, I thought 'that was quick' and jumped out - it was a really nice dogging couple looking for fun!
I had to decline as I didnt want my dad interupting - so lost out twice in an hour lol

Got their email address though wink

25 Jun 2011

And if bIoke is reading this, I've only one thing to say: Children in Need night.
:shock:
rotflmao

25 Jun 2011

Quote by noladreams
And if bIoke is reading this, I've only one thing to say: Children in Need night.
:shock:

:shock: I'd forgotten about that.... I'll never look at Pudsey in the same way again!
I had someone's wife walk in once when I had her husband on his back with my knob up his bum. That wasn't really funny, poor woman... but his response to his wife was:
"It's not what it looks like luv....."
Priceless.
Errrrrr........ go figure blink

25 Jun 2011

Neilbacklivinginleedsithink being drunk and asleep in a chair, at a post munch hotel party and randomly shouting "elbow" in his sleep....was a bit surreal lol

and Postie (for those that remember him) being drunk and asleep in a chair while camping (swinging- the home of the sleepy drunk)....and waking up, tipping his half full beer can into his coat pocket and then trying to wander back to his tent....only to find that he'd tied his shoelaces together while he was drunk innocent

26 Jun 2011

At a party at CouplefunUK's old place. Stood on the patio chatting to a young lady who decided to sit down right in a patio chair full of water :shock: Being the gent I am I said no one need know dont worry I'll source some clothes or get one of the girls for you. Walked into the front room and said quite loudly OHH my god never gonna guess what that girls just sat in a huge puddle of water! Then noticed she was stood on the opposite side of the room, came in through the other door redface

26 Jun 2011

we had a friend who pestered us to go to a fetish club for months
we finally agreed to take him got him kitted out and picked him up on the night.
when we got there he had already had some dutch courage and i think the shock of what he saw made him drink a little faster than usual resulting in him becoming a little tipsy .
as the night grew later the beer had obviously taken affect as he'd got up on the dance floor as was dancing with any one he could 'by about 2o'clock he`d quite gotten into the swing of things and came over to tell us he didn`t need a lift home as he`d pulled
when he pointed this lucky lady out we instantly knew she was a tranny as we often spoke to her,when i started to tell him that really did`t want to go home with her he just looked at me and said "who are you mum"
so we let him go off
we went home went to bed and waited for the phone call (six days later )i decided to phone him after a blow job he got round to to having a grope at first the thought all was well as he had been having a crafty grope all evening, this time produced a cock which had previously been tucked away, having made his excuses he left and he found his self in north London with not enough money to get a cab so had to bus and train his way to Kent with arse poking out a pair of chaps lol

26 Jun 2011

Quote by flower411
How we laughed !!!

Giggled did you?
bolt

27 Jun 2011

Quote by bIoke
And if bIoke is reading this, I've only one thing to say: Children in Need night.
:shock:

:shock: I'd forgotten about that.... I'll never look at Pudsey in the same way again!
I had someone's wife walk in once when I had her husband on his back with my knob up his bum. That wasn't really funny, poor woman... but his response to his wife was:
"It's not what it looks like luv....."
Priceless.
Errrrrr........ go figure blink

:rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao::giggle:

1 Jul 2011

Quote by meat2pleaseu
Neilbacklivinginleedsithink being drunk and asleep in a chair, at a post munch hotel party and randomly shouting "elbow" in his sleep....was a bit surreal

Pfffft! Only clicked into this thread to see which of the usual suspects might have brung it up. Mighta chuffin' known t'would be you Mr Meats.
*looks sideways in a sort of Mr T crazy fool sort of way, you know the face*
Quite annoying you know to still have no memory of your own funniest moment, forever condemned to enjoy the moment vicariously through third-party recollections, as it were. confused

N x x x ;)

2 Jul 2011

This is funny now, but at the time it was a bit scary and neither of us was remotely amused...
We had arranged to meet a lovely girl in a pub for lunch to see if we all clicked, normal stuff really nothing special. Anyway we had done the sensible stuff, chatted online, seen the cam, and spoke over the phone, so an in-person meet was clearly the next step.
Anyway we had swapped phone numbers and were sat in the pub garden and made the phone call to let her know we were there - we could hear a mobile phone ring and a rather grubby looking fella stood up and made his way over to us, sat down and claimed "his sister couldn't make it, she didn't want to appear rude so asked him to stand in".
Goodness knows how he did it - the chat is easy to fake, the webcam less so, but do-able, and if you can put on a girls voice then you may be able to blag it on the phone, but how a 40 something dishevelled balding unshaven bloke can pass himself off as 25 year old curvy brunette is impossible without the added extras of a couple of pints of Meths drunken until we were both blind and being subjected to the combined talents of Derren Brown and Lilly Savage.
In the finest tradition of the News of the World reporters, we made our excuses and left.

2 Jul 2011

:laughabove: Funny story but erm :shock: bit weird too!

2 Jul 2011

There have been lots of really funny moments over the years but my two favourites are -
1. When I was a newbie, (a very long time ago!) I was with a group of people in a hotel room after a night out on Canal Street in Manchester. We were talking about S&M and someone grabbed another person's brand new crop and proceeded to demonstrate how flexible they should be. The crop snapped in half - the look on the owners face was priceless!
2. A group of us being in a hotel room, before a munch just chatting and messing about. Someone dived on someone else in a play fighting way and the bed leg broke and the bed collapsed. A kind of you had to be there moment, but very, very funny!