Hi guys,just wondering what funny things that have happed to you.I remember an old flame I went out parked at morden park at about had a cold I remembered.I can't do it"she said"But I will give you a blow job" unkown to me was that she had been sucking on a fishermans friend(lol there's a joke in that its self} and been eating hot soon as she got her mouth around to old boy.I could feel the heat building up on it until it felt like it was on fire.I jumped out of the car with my trouses around my ankels,slipped up and feel into a load of girl was pissing herself with the did hurts.
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funny things that have happened
Quote by romus
Oh Christ,I have had more fun at a damp sunday morning rememberance parade.I'm off to the NAAFI and to chat up some wrens with some you lot have some for a while
( quick lets have aright laff,,, and then delete it all before he gets back....) Was going to say, seriously, that I once ....nah, thinking about it, it's not that funny... though my dad never brought a coffee into the bedroom again without knocking. :shock:
Sexlightened
Must admit considering some of the inane postings I've seen on here, I am surprised, like you that there are not more amusing tales being shared on this posting.....having said that I've not got one I can think of to add!
Quote by romus
Oh Christ,I have had more fun at a damp sunday morning rememberance parade.I'm off to the NAAFI and to chat up some wrens with some you lot have some for a while
Alright.....
.Can't decide between my ex's screaming orgasm which caused security to knock at our hotel door or being interrupted mid-cunnilingus by her housemate (no, didn't ask her to join :P) or having the stewardess ask if we were alright from popping to and from the airplane toilets so much (never did get the chance, bloody diarrhetic kids
) 
Sex God
Quote by brucers
Must admit considering some of the inane postings I've seen on here, I am surprised, like you that there are not more amusing tales being shared on this posting.....having said that I've not got one I can think of to add!
truth be known brucers, I'm sure that weve all had amusing things happen to us in our lives, but there is the very real reality that those amusing incidents are generally 'of the moment' and don't transfer onto paper in a shortened format such as the one needed to post on this forum. I could tell a number of funny stories about my life. that are wholly true and very often do so verbally, but to try and do that on here in an abridged version (anything too long and folk generally dont read it) without the necessary body language to enhance the story never works as well. For the thread author to do the forum equivelent of picking up their ball and going home cos no one wants to play, is in all honesty...a joke.
Sex God
I think he just assumed that everyone here goes dogging :undecided:
I like postie's idea so I'll share a story of mine
I'd been ..........erm...........sharing my doughnut......uh......picnic one night at a picnic table in one of my favourite laybys. It was quite some time later that I made my way back to my truck. I was just wearing a pink g string, nothing else, and it was around
Well I couldn't get the key to work the lock to open the door but knowing I'd had several Tennents superlagers I wasn't too bothered and reckoned I'd get it sorted in the end.
After a few minutes (and one pee later) I was a bit startled when a guy appeared from round the back end and said "No mate. Wrong truck. That's yours up there"
"Oooooooooooooh thanks" I replied, "Would you mind giving me a hand?"
"Not in the least" he says and promptly takes me by the elbow (gently) and guides me back to my truck, unlocks the door, hands me back the keys, gives me a wink and a cheery "Mind how you go. I enjoyed the show"
Thing is I'd not seen him before or shared my picnic with him and he went back to the truck I'd been trying to get into, unlocked the door and got in.
ops: :oops: :oops: :oops:
I like postie's idea so I'll share a story of mine
I'd been ..........erm...........sharing my doughnut......uh......picnic one night at a picnic table in one of my favourite laybys. It was quite some time later that I made my way back to my truck. I was just wearing a pink g string, nothing else, and it was around
Well I couldn't get the key to work the lock to open the door but knowing I'd had several Tennents superlagers I wasn't too bothered and reckoned I'd get it sorted in the end.
After a few minutes (and one pee later) I was a bit startled when a guy appeared from round the back end and said "No mate. Wrong truck. That's yours up there"
"Oooooooooooooh thanks" I replied, "Would you mind giving me a hand?"
"Not in the least" he says and promptly takes me by the elbow (gently) and guides me back to my truck, unlocks the door, hands me back the keys, gives me a wink and a cheery "Mind how you go. I enjoyed the show"
Thing is I'd not seen him before or shared my picnic with him and he went back to the truck I'd been trying to get into, unlocked the door and got in.
ops: :oops: :oops: :oops: Sexlightened
I think you are quite right about transfering stories onto paper do not always come across the same. Although the other side of it is I've seen some very amusing musings on other postings. Still I spose we can't all be comic authors.
truth be known brucers, I'm sure that weve all had amusing things happen to us in our lives, but there is the very real reality that those amusing incidents are generally 'of the moment' and don't transfer onto paper in a shortened format such as the one needed to post on this forum. I could tell a number of funny stories about my life. that are wholly true and very often do so verbally, but to try and do that on here in an abridged version (anything too long and folk generally dont read it) without the necessary body language to enhance the story never works as well. For the thread author to do the forum equivelent of picking up their ball and going home cos no one wants to play, is in all honesty...a joke.
Quote by davej
Must admit considering some of the inane postings I've seen on here, I am surprised, like you that there are not more amusing tales being shared on this posting.....having said that I've not got one I can think of to add!
truth be known brucers, I'm sure that weve all had amusing things happen to us in our lives, but there is the very real reality that those amusing incidents are generally 'of the moment' and don't transfer onto paper in a shortened format such as the one needed to post on this forum. I could tell a number of funny stories about my life. that are wholly true and very often do so verbally, but to try and do that on here in an abridged version (anything too long and folk generally dont read it) without the necessary body language to enhance the story never works as well. For the thread author to do the forum equivelent of picking up their ball and going home cos no one wants to play, is in all honesty...a joke.
Quote by postie
Was going to say, seriously, that I once ....nah, thinking about it, it's not that funny... though my dad never brought a coffee into the bedroom again without knocking. :shock:
problem was it was only this week you mean? :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Few funny things have happened...
1. Had me sister walking in on me giving head to a girlfriend...
2. Had me Mother wonder into my house whilst on the business with quite a respected girl... in th front room...
3. Was also making out with a different girlfriend in the car..(not dogging never even knew about it justthe old college make out).. anyway the windows steamed up then this light shone in through the rear window,, I wound down the passenger window leant out to say "fuck off" to a very nice policeman.. told me to put it away and go home...phew!!!
4. In Rhyl one whilst on R&R in the Army we had a "Pull a Pig" night... apologies if this offends however I won £120 that night... a fortnight later 2 Troop had been on R&R as well in the same place and the winner of pull a pig also won with the same girl... classy woman...lol
The stories could go on,,, but hell probably boring the shit out of you now
Quote by Benz2502
4. In Rhyl one whilst on R&R in the Army we had a "Pull a Pig" night... apologies if this offends however I won £120 that night... a fortnight later 2 Troop had been on R&R as well in the same place and the winner of pull a pig also won with the same girl... classy woman...lol
Ah! But you obviously haven't searched this site... I distinctly remember some lass from Rhyl who posted a very similar story some time back... about copping off with 2 squaddies in the same month... I believe she mentioned something about her and her mates betting on who could shag the spottiest, most desperate squaddie... and she won... :shock:
:lol2:
( I am not saying anything about your "pig-poke night".... leave that to the women here, they are very adept at ripping arms and other appendages off.. ) :gagged:
Quote by Benz2502
Was also making out with a different girlfriend in the car..(not dogging never even knew about it justthe old college make out).. anyway the windows steamed up then this light shone in through the rear window,, I wound down the passenger window leant out to say "fuck off" to a very nice policeman.. told me to put it away and go home...phew!!!
Had this happen to me as well and was hoping and praying that the policeman in question didn't rumble that I fact lived 3 doors down from him
ops: :oops: C x
friend of mine who is a female trucker, pulled in to a lay by to relieve herself.
she found a secluded place down a little slope and proceeded to empty her bladder.
she heard another vehicle pull up and what sounded like a lot of people getting out, it turned out to be either football/rugby supporters on their way home who all needed to empty their bladders, which they did all over her at the bottom of this slope - she was too embarrassed to shout at them.
she found a secluded place down a little slope and proceeded to empty her bladder.
she heard another vehicle pull up and what sounded like a lot of people getting out, it turned out to be either football/rugby supporters on their way home who all needed to empty their bladders, which they did all over her at the bottom of this slope - she was too embarrassed to shout at them.
