Hi Chris, Linda and i have a forumla that works for us, we make contact via e-mail, chat, start swapping pix, if we like what we see then we carry on swapping pix for longer.
We always tell them that we like to take it steady, if they really want to meet up they will understand, if they carry on being pushy then this gives you some indication of how they would have been had you met up with them.
we have just stopped mailing a guy who at the beginning seemed really nice, we lost his pix and were not far off arrangeing a meet and Linda asked for one last pix.
He didn't like that and showed a side him himself that would have become apparent if we had met up, "close shave", the words "plenty more fish in the sea" come to mind.
Cheers mate, hope this has helped.
Mark and Linda
Glad you agree with me on that score. I guess that there are lots of people out there that are pic collecting or who aren't who they say they are. Am happier with the take it slowly and see what happens routine! Thanks for the further advice,
Chris
Can i also chip in a couple of comments, as a bloke wandering around without his partner at the moment, and probably making a complete pratt of himself. I came in looking to see if this was a place where I could relax and explore something which my partner and I have so far only talked about.
I have also seen a number of 'inappropriate' replies made to offers to meet. This is also something that is my biggest concern. I am looking to be certain that our first excursion would be an enjoyable one, and my main reason for being here was to assess how likely that would be. It is reassuring to me to see the number of people who post items such as this, for without them I would been off like a frightened rabbit, but I am learning as much from what people say frustrates them, as from what is successful.
And a special thanks to Mark and Linda, I have read a number of your entries, in particular one you posted to Bari (new members saying hi from memory) and found them useful both in terms of understanding what I am here for, and what it takes to make this work.
Personally, I think I have largely got what I needed from my first visit to Swinging Heaven and will be retiring with reluctance from active participation, only to return if it is as a couple. Because, despite my honest intentions, reading the entries from sensible and balanced people who are serious about their lifestyle choice does make me feel like one of those fakers. (not intended as a criticism - other than of myself) And if I continued to participate as a single bloke, then I would be a faker.
But I couldn't go without thanking those many genuine people on the site who made me think, and those who made me laugh, and of course, those who made me horny! (nice pictures!) Hope to be back sometime in the future.
Cor, hell of a speech Pete now where is that delete key.........
I think it is sad when the whole ethos of the site is for people to be genuine and enjoy it, but I guess that in all cases where a site is free then anybody can look and join. The parody is that I would not have been here if it was not free!
Anyway, Onwards and Upwards!
Think I shall be a bit wiser next time with someone as well.
Cheers
Chris
Bit hot isn't it!!
Hi all
Good comments.
This site is for fun not desperation.
Let us keep communicating and you never know.
I am a married guy but wife too straight for this.
I have dogged succesfully with a few couples and had good banter on the site.
I do this for add on pleasure not desperation and what I see is too much whinging by people who believe they have god given right to have sex with complete strangers.
Wise up use common sense you single guys and you may end up having fun and making new friends I have.
Go expecting nothing that is my motto and you may get a surprise.
Mark and Linda you seem to have this thing sussed well done I would not mind a meet with you for a chat sometime but of course on all our terms.
Keep smiling.
Sandie
Bit of an alternative view this!
I once had a bad experience with photos (and no, I'm not a minger!) and have read a lot about time-wasting photo collectors. As a result of this I do not send nor ask for photos.
Instead, I rely on written descriptions via emails, text messages and phone calls.
Photos do not get you into someone's mind. The written word and their voice does. If you like what you read (particularly between the lines!) and how they sound, and they like what they read and hear, nine and a half times out of ten you're going to get on, and how they look becomes secondary (honestly!) unless you're a particularly shallow individual who is never going to be satisfied any way!
Believe me, this shit works!
Good Luck,
Allgood
Chris - if you don't feel comfortable with a situation you shouldn't get into it, but just because some people want to meet without exchanging pics doesn't necessarily mean that they're up to no good (in a similar way, people who do send pics COULD be up to no good - doesn't have to be them in the pic, does it?!). Very often I have arranged a meet with no pic exchange because it is more exciting to not know what you are getting into! Maybe you're contact was of this type? Anyway, just a thought. Michelle
That was put very well, and you are perfectly right, we just do it the way it works for us.
i must admit, we have had pix sent to us before and then asked for them again, (we did'nt feel comfortable with particular guy) and he sent a totally different pic of "his" bits, "yeah we sussed him".
So there you go, Michelle has a very good piont.
"god we love this site".
Mark and Linda
A fair point indeed Michelle. This was my first time and I just felt very unsure. I have since had an email from the person explaining the situation and I do feel they were genuine. I guess it was just not the way I wanted to play things so it did not happen! My loss probably.
Maybe in some ways a loss, but at the end of the day, if you feel unsure or uncomfortable it's best to go with your instincts at the time. When I said that I've had meets where I didn't want a pic of the person/people, I was meeting without pics for my own personal kicks - I liked the suprise. The people I was meeting very often asked me for a pic, but it was back in the days when I was poorer than I am now (boo hoo), had only an old PC, and no scanner or digi-cam, so there was no way I could send them one. A few wouldn't meet without seeing a pic, but most were quite happy to tootle round to my house day or night without knowing what I looked like, or very much about me at all! Now, I'm a very nice person, but what if I wasn't, and I had had 6 extremely nasty people waiting for them? I don't think many of the people I met had given any thought to their own personal safety whatsoever (but who does when they're horny???). The long-winded point I'm really making here is that we should all play safe, and one way to do that is not to jump into a situation feet first. If, for you, that means getting a pic and whatever else info you need, so be it - when all's said and done, staying safe is not a loss at all! There you go, lecture over ;-)
: What is it with some people, just tried to arrange to meet up with someone, but pulled out as they want to go straight to meeting in a Park, no photo's xchanged 1st or anything. Now, am I being too paranoid or am I doing the right thing? Is it a good idea to meet 1st? And I am a man, so it is not like I was being too pushy!! Still I guess there are a lot of fakers out there..?? 
