Getting protective

29 Sep 2004

Has anyone else here, like me, got attached in a romantic sense to someone they met through swinging...? confused

This is, as has been chronicled at length in these pages, Outdoorfun and I now come as a package'. I've yet to run the gauntlet of meeting his Mum redface

:uhoh: But he has met my kids and they think he's some kind of DemiGod. The youngest one even went as far as saying he was a 'cool dude'. cool

Now here's the thing that's on my mind today...
I am still getting lots of mails from rampant single guys suggesting all kinds of rude things. My ad says I have a partner and I don't know what else I can add to that to convince them of the fact. So why are they approaching me and not even making reference to him?
I'm finding my reactions are getting quite defensive. Even though Terry would probably hold my coat if I wanted to go and shag them, I find it all a little threatening - and this coming from the girl that can handle four cocks at once!
So is it me...? Am I feeling a little insecure? Is my ad not clear enough? Is it in the right category? Should I drop the ad in favour of just a joint ad for us as a couple...?
I wanted to also ask if any guys in a similar position find it hard making the transition from 'Swinging Partnership' to 'Couple' as there have been, and still are, times when I can't get my head around some stuff...
Ta
Hxx

29 Sep 2004

Quote by Heather
I am still getting lots of mails from rampant single guys suggesting all kinds of rude things. My ad says I have a partner and I don't know what else I can add to that to convince them of the fact. So why are they approaching me and not even making reference to him?

I'd guess they're not actually reading your ad. They probably skim through looking for pictures, find the link to your personal webpage at the bottom, click through to that, perv for a while :wanker: then mail you. Alternatively, maybe they see you've described the lucky laddie as "the best one going" and think "Hey, I've got the best penis in England!" and decide to mail you to inform you of your error, but it's unlikely. It's hard to read when you've got a 4ft erection; it waves in front of your face and distracts you from the screen...

29 Sep 2004

This is a case of I can't read again......You advertise in women seeking groups so why the hell are these single guys emailing you..................I think Rogers right in what he says.
My ad 82788

29 Sep 2004

i think you should put them in a couldron of boiling oil!
either that or just tell them again!
:P

29 Sep 2004

Hi Heather,
Well, I read through you ad, and it's quite clear what you're interested in and what you're not. The only thing that I could suggest is to change the way in which your advert is formatted.... there's a lot of lines of text there, and I suppose some guys might just skim through. You could try breaking it out a bit, such as:
I'm not interested in:
Single guys
One night stands
I am interested in:
Gangbangs
Group sex
Bi-women
(or whatever you want in the list obviously), but even then I suspect that you'll get emails from guys who take the shotgun approach and think that if they blast off enough emails someone is going to take them up on their offer.
Phil.

29 Sep 2004

Heather
you have obviously mislaid one of your 'Mod' buttons - the one marked 'Mods Perks'.You add a line of text to your ad that says -
" Should you be stupid enough to email me and you are NOT what I am looking for, then I will invoke my 'Mods Perks" and you will no longer be able to register with Swinging Heaven. You have been warned!!!"
Then deactivate the muppets!!
Simple really!! lol

Cardinal Mal
wink

29 Sep 2004

The youngest one even went as far as saying he was a 'cool dude'.

ah heather! praise indeed! very perceptive of them i must say! and i do love your dilemmas! ;)
alas while us single guys are often rampant redface

we don't often read very well. the black and white bits i'm sure are there for extra info, but we rarely get that far. an email address and a photo if there is one, and that's good enough for us!
<<< sighs >>>
i'm obviously not in your situation, but can well understand you being protective of it. personally i find addressing only one half of the couple to be pretty poor form. at least an acknowledgement that the guy actually exists, and possibly even a please and thank you for him as well as the girlie, seems to go a long way! but then what do i know? rolleyes

neil x x x ;)

29 Sep 2004

:shock:
Mal... I hadn't thought of that! :twisted: :twisted: What an excellent idea!!
Neilliepops..
I know Terry has a special place in his heart for you, as often, after a long heavy shag in front of his famous log fire, he'll spring up and announce "Time to hit the chatroom and wind up Neilinleeds".
On reflection, I think it's time for a spruce up with the ad and I shall get a roundtoit tonight after work.
Thanks for suggestions and comments, guys...
Hxx

29 Sep 2004

I went back and re-read everything a few times.
If you are now a couple then advertising as a package seems the best thing to do. People will hopefully soon get the hint.
G. x

29 Sep 2004

We get single blokes as well from both our adds and we are looking for neither in each. half the time they like to try there luck others they just see a pic and most dont read. Just ignore them we do!
F

29 Sep 2004

I never get mail from single guys, so I must be doing something right. biggrin

29 Sep 2004

Well, we ARE a boyfriend/girlfriend thingy. Still at a little delicate stage in the preceedings, but you don't say and do to a swinging partner what Terry and I say and do. I wanted to know if any other couples had got together through swinging and how they felt about the change of mindset. Did they wake up one day, like I did, and think 'I can't let this go on such a casual basis..'.
And...
Am I still coming across as a single female? 'Cos men are still writing to me in the belief I am. They make no reference to my partner at all.
Maybe the fault here is a little to do with me too... rolleyes

29 Sep 2004

I agree with fem_manc-cpl, the only way you will stop this (or reduce it at least) is to advertise as a couple. Now I advertise as a couple I get very few single guys who just want to meet only one of us.... I've had a few but it really isn't any more than that.....Having said that, very few of them have actually read the ad, but that's another story! rolleyes

Get yourself a couples ad, H ! cool

It is quite a transition changing from advertising as a single to one as a couple, but these things happen :shock: wink

:wink: :wink:

29 Sep 2004

You still geddem tho. We only advertise as a couple, and it's Reese that does all that. The replies come in, quite often, just talking to me. You know, "I wanna do..." this that and the other "...to your tits", etc.
I thik it will still continue, but you'll get less of it if you change to ad as a couple.
HTH

29 Sep 2004

This is the Kent Host, that's the male bit of it.
Thanks folks for the advice on the ads thing. In fact we do have one in the couples seeking women bit. As that one comes into my email, I can weed out the blokes, so H never even gets to hear of them let alone see em.
Heather, hun, how come your posts to this forum are so much more interesting than mine ??? Eh ???
Past guests (that's the ones that came to the soirees before H and I met) - do not despair, I will one day start those greedygirl evenings again - that's if she and I find any spare time.
TKH

29 Sep 2004

Most people have examined your ad to death... the point I would make as a single guy skimreading it is this...:
Because you say you are NOT interested in single guys... but ARE interested in groups of guys a lot of men would read that as... "if we put our name on the list, we can shag you as long as we put up with other guys being invited". So in a way although thats NOT what YOU are after, it can still be interpreted as an invite to single guys who don't mind sharing ;)
... Just stick ***NO SINGLE GUYS*** at the top of the ad... then the only men messaging you can safely be labeled as twats and deleted.

29 Sep 2004

Poohbear... How nice it is to see a couple like us. Makes me feel not so much of a freak. biggrin

:D
Yep... I've had enough thoughts now. And some of you have been very kind and taken the trouble to PM me. I guess my ad just has to go. sad

Maybe Terry and I should get a joint email addy to run our ad from? :D Maybe even consider a joint forum account... ?
Er.... help! I've just realised I'm not single any more! blink

:uhoh: :eeek:

29 Sep 2004

Quote by Heather
Poohbear... How nice it is to see a couple like us. Makes me feel not so much of a freak. :D
Yep... I've had enough thoughts now. And some of you have been very kind and taken the trouble to PM me. I guess my ad just has to go.
Maybe Terry and I should get a joint email addy to run our ad from? :D Maybe even consider a joint forum account... ?
Er.... help! I've just realised I'm not single any more! :uhoh: :eeek:

I'll dust off me morning suit then shall I??

29 Sep 2004

:
I'll dust off me morning suit then shall I??
Oooh yipeee!!! Should I buy a hat? :bounce:
Seriously though, congrats on this major change in your status. Don't fret it, enjoy it!

29 Sep 2004

Quote by Libra-Love
:Seriously though, congrats on this major change in your status. Don't fret it, enjoy it!

Can I repeat that last sentiment? What a heartwarming story - it should be celebrated!!

29 Sep 2004

Heather, we have a joint forum account, advertise in `Couples seeking` and have a picture of us both up......................and the few replies we have had have been from single guys! We`venever had a couple respond to our ad! lol

The onliners we get in here are from single guys interested in me only. rolleyes

Venusxxx

30 Sep 2004

Congratulations Heather and Kent host,you should go to the tabloids and show swingings not such a bad thing :shock: wink

(like they wouldnt alter it to show you as two headed wierdo's).
Anyway the whole thing with single guys never seems to have always advertised as couple seeking couples,but everytime we bump our ad back up we get about half couples and half single guys trying to add us (never single women though!!).It seems to get worse with a pic page as well,we get more singles now that we have one than we ever did before.
I'm afraid its something you have to learn to live with,even though its really annoying.