Hi everyone, we have read the board for a while and have decided to de-lurk so please be gentle with us!
We have decided that we would like to get involved with swinging. It is something that excites both of us.
We have discussed the idea of going to a club, however we really don't know what to expect when we get there. Would we be best off losing our swinging "virginity" before attending somewhere like that?
Thanks
anb
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Sex God
Hello and welcome!!! 
Crikey, can't believe that I am the first welcomer for a change. I am normally one of the late ones. I hope you have lots of fun but I am afraid I am not the one to advise you on clubs. They are not really my thing.
No doubt someone will be along shortly who can help.
Crikey, can't believe that I am the first welcomer for a change. I am normally one of the late ones. I hope you have lots of fun but I am afraid I am not the one to advise you on clubs. They are not really my thing.
No doubt someone will be along shortly who can help.
Hi Andy and Becky
Welcome to SH! Sadly I can't offer advice on clubs either, but I would suggest you post on here and try the chatroom too. Get to know us all on here - there are some lovely ladies and gentlemen here who would be pleased to take you by the hand!
Have fun in the forum!
Sappho xxx
Welcome to SH! Sadly I can't offer advice on clubs either, but I would suggest you post on here and try the chatroom too. Get to know us all on here - there are some lovely ladies and gentlemen here who would be pleased to take you by the hand!
Have fun in the forum!
Sappho xxx
Sex God
Hi Andy and Becky - welcome
I'm a regular club goer so could probably give you some advice. Read the advice on clubs in the Swinging and Advice section first then feel free to PM me with any questions you have.
8) 8) 8)
I'm a regular club goer so could probably give you some advice. Read the advice on clubs in the Swinging and Advice section first then feel free to PM me with any questions you have.
8) 8) 8)
Wow, so many replies, so soon. Thank-you everyone!
The idea of going to a club turns us both on, we would definately go to couples night as we would like to meet another couple, I suppose I am just worried about everyone being pushy when we get there, we really need to take things at our own pace to start with. Would everyone think we were silly if we went with that attitude?
The idea of going to a club turns us both on, we would definately go to couples night as we would like to meet another couple, I suppose I am just worried about everyone being pushy when we get there, we really need to take things at our own pace to start with. Would everyone think we were silly if we went with that attitude?
Hiya Andy and Becky,
eternal question!
It is down to individual choice really, when Kit and I started, our first intention was to start off with clubs, then move on to meets. Our thinking was:
We considered 3 options
1) Club
2) Private meeeting
3) Party
We thought about what was important for us and this was:
1) No pressure to perform
2) A chance to sit, watch and absorb the atmosphere
3) Walk out whenever we chose
4) How we wanted to swing - for us it was threesomes with single blokes.
In the end, we decided a club was the best option for us, so we chose La Chambre in Sheffield. It is a bit of a distance from us, but comes highly recommended as one of the top clubs in the country.
So, we got membership, decided what weekend we were going up, what to wear, spent hours discussing how we were going to play this. Got advice from just about everyone and ended up with a good clear understanding of where our boundaries were going to be, and a contingency plan for just about every event.
Then, a week before we were going to go, changed our minds and went for a private meeting with a single bloke, and we have never looked back since!
So, after all that, I will echo Sappho's advice. Stick around and chat a bit. Decide how the two of you want to approach swinging, and get advice from those who are looking for similar things.
Or, use ScotsCpl's approach. Get loads of good advice, ignore it all, and do your own thing!
(sorry scotscpl, but your description of your first meet still makes me laugh)
Bottom line is, just by being in here you will start to talk about your fantasies, and have some great sex ahead of you. No need to rush into actually DOING something about it.
lhk
Kat
We have discussed the idea of going to a club, however we really don't know what to expect when we get there. Would we be best off losing our swinging "virginity" before attending somewhere like that?
eternal question!
It is down to individual choice really, when Kit and I started, our first intention was to start off with clubs, then move on to meets. Our thinking was:
We considered 3 options
1) Club
2) Private meeeting
3) Party
We thought about what was important for us and this was:
1) No pressure to perform
2) A chance to sit, watch and absorb the atmosphere
3) Walk out whenever we chose
4) How we wanted to swing - for us it was threesomes with single blokes.
In the end, we decided a club was the best option for us, so we chose La Chambre in Sheffield. It is a bit of a distance from us, but comes highly recommended as one of the top clubs in the country.
So, we got membership, decided what weekend we were going up, what to wear, spent hours discussing how we were going to play this. Got advice from just about everyone and ended up with a good clear understanding of where our boundaries were going to be, and a contingency plan for just about every event.
Then, a week before we were going to go, changed our minds and went for a private meeting with a single bloke, and we have never looked back since!
So, after all that, I will echo Sappho's advice. Stick around and chat a bit. Decide how the two of you want to approach swinging, and get advice from those who are looking for similar things.
Or, use ScotsCpl's approach. Get loads of good advice, ignore it all, and do your own thing!
(sorry scotscpl, but your description of your first meet still makes me laugh)Bottom line is, just by being in here you will start to talk about your fantasies, and have some great sex ahead of you. No need to rush into actually DOING something about it.
lhk
Kat
Sex God
Personally, I started with private meets, mainly single guys but a few couples as well before I progressed to clubs. I saw clubs a "step up" from private meets and i don't think I would have felt like I was ready for a club if I'd never had group sex in private before. However, as Kat says, it really does depend on your own needs and perspective, and sometimes even the best-laid plans go astray and you end up doing something totally different.
No-one at a club would EXPECT you to perform. Club staff are generally very good at making newbies feel at ease and I don't think there is one genuine person on the swinging who wouldn't appreciate the nerves that newbies feel - I was terrified the first time I entered a club and I thought I was experienced already! It really is fine to sit and watch - in fact many go with just this purpose! Going to a couples only night I suspect would be the "easiest" way into the club scene as there would be no single males there. Although the majority of single men are well behaved and don't touch without being invited you do get the odd pushy one which might put you off. Also at some clubs there are a lot of single guys and even the sheer numbers can put people off. If you are looking specifically for single guys, this is something you will get used to, but if you are looking only for couples you don't really need to deal with singles if you find a good club that does good couples nights. Clubs vary greatly - do check out their web sites (if you've not already done so) on the clubs and parties page.
No-one at a club would EXPECT you to perform. Club staff are generally very good at making newbies feel at ease and I don't think there is one genuine person on the swinging who wouldn't appreciate the nerves that newbies feel - I was terrified the first time I entered a club and I thought I was experienced already! It really is fine to sit and watch - in fact many go with just this purpose! Going to a couples only night I suspect would be the "easiest" way into the club scene as there would be no single males there. Although the majority of single men are well behaved and don't touch without being invited you do get the odd pushy one which might put you off. Also at some clubs there are a lot of single guys and even the sheer numbers can put people off. If you are looking specifically for single guys, this is something you will get used to, but if you are looking only for couples you don't really need to deal with singles if you find a good club that does good couples nights. Clubs vary greatly - do check out their web sites (if you've not already done so) on the clubs and parties page.
Just thought we would add our "two pen'orth"!
We have only recently started swinging and went to a club on a quiet night to check it out. The staff were really friendly, showed us around and after having a drink we decided to go back on a couples night during the week. Everyone was very welcoming and on our return home we likened it to spending a night in a nude Labour club! We have been back a few times and at no time have we been made to feel uncomfortable or been pressured to do anything we would'nt want to. If you do decide to go to one rest assured that people will look out for you and look after you. Hope this helps
xx
We have only recently started swinging and went to a club on a quiet night to check it out. The staff were really friendly, showed us around and after having a drink we decided to go back on a couples night during the week. Everyone was very welcoming and on our return home we likened it to spending a night in a nude Labour club! We have been back a few times and at no time have we been made to feel uncomfortable or been pressured to do anything we would'nt want to. If you do decide to go to one rest assured that people will look out for you and look after you. Hope this helps
xx
I have just recently started going to clubs and I find them very friendly and welcoming. I must admit that so far I have only gone on couples nights but still its not pushy or threatening. The staff keep things under control. Often two couples go together on a first visit so at least there is someone you know. As others have said chat a while and see what you think is the best option for you.
Martha
Martha
Hi Andy and Becky,
And welcome. I'm another one of this month's bumper crop of de-lurkers. Afriad I've been a bit quiet for a week or so because it got to the stage where I just couldn't read all the posts.
We're in much the same situation as you - wanting to do lots more but not sure which approach would suit us best. At the beginning we went a club (Office in Bristol) and even though we were very nervous and only played with each other everyone was fine and friendly. Just by chance we've also found some local friends were up for things and that has worked out fine too.
I can't answer your question what is best for you as we haven't even answered it yet for ourselves. We will be trying it all. Suggest you do what you feel happy with and take it in stages.
Red Baron
And welcome. I'm another one of this month's bumper crop of de-lurkers. Afriad I've been a bit quiet for a week or so because it got to the stage where I just couldn't read all the posts.
We're in much the same situation as you - wanting to do lots more but not sure which approach would suit us best. At the beginning we went a club (Office in Bristol) and even though we were very nervous and only played with each other everyone was fine and friendly. Just by chance we've also found some local friends were up for things and that has worked out fine too.
I can't answer your question what is best for you as we haven't even answered it yet for ourselves. We will be trying it all. Suggest you do what you feel happy with and take it in stages.
Red Baron
Sex God
Hi Andy and Becky,
I can confirm what the others have written about clubs - there is no pressure whatsoever to do anything you don't feel like doing. I am a single guy of the considerate and non-pushy type and I happen to live in the same town as you. I can recommend Liaisons club in Rochdale, where I have been several times to mixed cpls and sgls evenings. Liaisons is one of the more down-to-earth of the swinging clubs, i.e. it doesn't have plush surroundings that might be too daunting to newcomers. It has a bar which is right away from where the "action" takes place, so anyone can sit there and think that they were in a normal bar except for some people wearing nothing but towels! You are welcome to contact me via pms if you need to ask further questions or have a friendly chat, and I would be happy to go along with you if you feel too uncomfortable to go in on your own. This is NOT me being pushy, I just sympathise with people who don't want to go into a club on their own! You'd soon get chatting to people, I'm sure.
MikeNorth.
I can confirm what the others have written about clubs - there is no pressure whatsoever to do anything you don't feel like doing. I am a single guy of the considerate and non-pushy type and I happen to live in the same town as you. I can recommend Liaisons club in Rochdale, where I have been several times to mixed cpls and sgls evenings. Liaisons is one of the more down-to-earth of the swinging clubs, i.e. it doesn't have plush surroundings that might be too daunting to newcomers. It has a bar which is right away from where the "action" takes place, so anyone can sit there and think that they were in a normal bar except for some people wearing nothing but towels! You are welcome to contact me via pms if you need to ask further questions or have a friendly chat, and I would be happy to go along with you if you feel too uncomfortable to go in on your own. This is NOT me being pushy, I just sympathise with people who don't want to go into a club on their own! You'd soon get chatting to people, I'm sure.
MikeNorth.
I WOULD JUST LIKE TO SAY I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL .we have spent months pondering about clubs or meets we chose a club as we felt if we didnt like it we could leg it .we took the plunge last weekend at a club /hotel it was really relaxed the hosts made us feel welcome just tell them its your first time and they really look after you .stay together and dont feel that you have to prove yourself. Even if you just watch the first time you will have great fun planning your next visit .We did feel that we maybe did too much for our first time 
.but after lots of talking and some great advice on this forum we cant wait to go back for more :P :P
i think it could become an addiction
:) :)
.but after lots of talking and some great advice on this forum we cant wait to go back for more :P :P i think it could become an addiction
:) :) Thanks Sappho and Sgt for welcoming me to the forum. wkdCPL thought going to clubs COULD become addictive. In my case they definately are I went last night and just wish I was back there now. Can't wait to go back next weekend. It is so good to be among like minded people who are relaxed and enjoying themselves, whether they are playing or not. Rather like this forum really.
Martha
Martha
