ok this is my first post so hello everyone by the way.
ok i havnt been with this women long but i knew her very well before anything happend between this last week she has been talking about how she really wants this fantasy,which i have never done anything like before
basicly she wants to be tied up in all diffrent ways,and she wants to be totaly helpless and that i can do anything to her i want for example she never wanted to do anal but now she says if she is tied up and helpless she cant stop me from doing anal,or even bringing all diffrent objects and inserting them in her and all other things done to her just basicly doing what i want to her
so i suggested maybe a safty word incase i went to far and hurt her but she dosnt want one because even if she shouts no in the heat of the moment she wants me to carry on.
so am just wondering if any of you have any advice on this sort of thing,she sats she trust me and i do want to do it i just dont want it to go horriably wrong,she is a far bit older than me but she says shes never done anything like this and really really wants to do it
thanks alot for replys to this
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GF getting kinky (need for a safety word?)
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I would definetly recommend she has a safety word for whatever you try especuially if shes "never" done it!
Its ok saying you wanna do something but then actually doing it is a different matter!
As long as you are BOTH comfortable with what you are doing is the main issue here as far as im concerned!
I dont have a lot of experience but I do know you cnt just go shoving anything anysize up there and it wont hurt!
Its ok saying you wanna do something but then actually doing it is a different matter!
As long as you are BOTH comfortable with what you are doing is the main issue here as far as im concerned!
I dont have a lot of experience but I do know you cnt just go shoving anything anysize up there and it wont hurt!
I think as well if you have been with her a while you will know whats ok and whats not! (hopefully!)
Im sure you will know if she screams that maybe its time to take it out (whatever IT mayb be!) or she may have been practicing herself?? It is a possibility!
Im sure you will know if she screams that maybe its time to take it out (whatever IT mayb be!) or she may have been practicing herself?? It is a possibility!
If i were you i would visit a BDSM site for specific information regarding Sub / Dom role play. There are people on this site who have experience of "bondage" etc, but your best bet is to go to a site which has more like minded peeps who could share their experiences
Just be careful and make sure you discuss everything, it is wise to have "safty" words, but the main thing is if YOU don't feel comfortable with the idea don't do it!!
Have fun and :welcome:
Just be careful and make sure you discuss everything, it is wise to have "safty" words, but the main thing is if YOU don't feel comfortable with the idea don't do it!!
Have fun and :welcome:
Yep, absolutely agree with everyone here, the safety word is essential. For your own peace of mind as well as hers.
That way she can scream and shout away, so long as she doesn't mention the safety word. The begging and pleading is all part of her fantasy, then fine, it's safe to do so long as there really is a get out option. Without a safety word, then the moment she starts pleading, you're gonna be extremely uncomfortable and probably stop anyway.
Choose a word that she won't accidently say in the thos of passion, but still easy enough to remember.
Good luck, oh and welcome
That way she can scream and shout away, so long as she doesn't mention the safety word. The begging and pleading is all part of her fantasy, then fine, it's safe to do so long as there really is a get out option. Without a safety word, then the moment she starts pleading, you're gonna be extremely uncomfortable and probably stop anyway.
Choose a word that she won't accidently say in the thos of passion, but still easy enough to remember.
Good luck, oh and welcome
Yes, a safe word is absolutely vital here if you've not done anything like this before, and as others have said, choose something that she can remember, but wouldn't ordinarily use. While the fantasy of having no choice is a very powerful one, and from what you say there's stuff she wants to try without being given an option you both need a safe word in case what you're doing is just downright painful and not in a good way.
Another point on safewords is that it's useful for you to have one. If you know that she's ok and happy with what you're doing, you can get into the swing of it. However, if you're always wondering if she's ok, and are not sure if 'stop it!' does actually mean she wants you to stop, you're not going to have a fun time of it.
Safewords work BOTH ways!
P
Another point on safewords is that it's useful for you to have one. If you know that she's ok and happy with what you're doing, you can get into the swing of it. However, if you're always wondering if she's ok, and are not sure if 'stop it!' does actually mean she wants you to stop, you're not going to have a fun time of it.
Safewords work BOTH ways!
P
Sex God
Quote by marmalaid
Do people also use safe words the other way around, instead of the dom saying are you ok to go on, and the sub saying yes I'm fine. Does that happen?
Chris
It depends on the scenario and the situation.... but yes, sometimes that sort of thing would work... other times it wouldn't though
If you decide to go for it, maybe you could ask her to agree on a safe word just to humour you, you know she won't use it but just to make you feel better. Try it from that angle then at least you will know that whatever happens you have that word to save you both if it ever did go too far to handle.
I can't say any more, the good people of SH have come up with the right advice as always!
However, with regard to a safeword, make sure you don't use a word such as NO as it is likely to be used in other contexts. I've always thought that RED is the best safeword as it's not likely to be mentioned any other way and it signifies STOP to most people (traffic lights, warning lights etc). Just a though
However, with regard to a safeword, make sure you don't use a word such as NO as it is likely to be used in other contexts. I've always thought that RED is the best safeword as it's not likely to be mentioned any other way and it signifies STOP to most people (traffic lights, warning lights etc). Just a though
All the advice above should be taken seriously for the reasons given. But remember, if there is no way for her to stop you it could all end up very nasty with charges of , ABH, or even worse :shock:
I think I have just figured out what happened to me one time from what dukereid and judy have just said. A while ago I met a man and we went off in his car for some fun. We didn't indulge in penetration, in face he didn't even take off his trousers but he and I got very carried away and he was very rough with his hands which was ok at the time but afterwards, along with bruising and a nasty bout of cystitis I realised that I had put myself in a very vulnerable situation. It wasn't or indecent assault because I was consenting but I was too far gone at the time to realise how much pain he was inflicting. Scares the shit out of me now.
Trust, I have discovered, is absolutely essential so that this doesn't happen. I know my experience wasn't a bdsm scenario as such but it does highlight the vulnerable position a submissive can get into and the results of it later.
Trust, I have discovered, is absolutely essential so that this doesn't happen. I know my experience wasn't a bdsm scenario as such but it does highlight the vulnerable position a submissive can get into and the results of it later.
Master of Sex
Personally, I used to find that my wife screaming,
"TAKE THAT THING OUT OF MY ARSE NOW OR I'LL KILL YOU!!!!!!"
always seemed to work as a safety word for me.
"TAKE THAT THING OUT OF MY ARSE NOW OR I'LL KILL YOU!!!!!!"
always seemed to work as a safety word for me.
