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GFZ - England win by 19 points

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Hey all what can be better not only is it the weekend but GFZ....
Well this one is for newcouple you might like this one!!
A New Zealand farmer buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for
wool. After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting
pregnant and calls a vet for help. The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination. The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means and with a red face asks the vet to elaborate. The vet tells the farmer that he will have to inseminate them himself.
The farmer asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are vet tells him that they will stop standing around and instead will lie down and wallow in grass when they are pregnant.
The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion
that he has to impregnate the sheep. So, he loads the sheep into his
Landrover,
drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed.
The next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they
are all still standing around, he deduces that the first try didn't take, and
loads them in the Landrover again. He drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back and goes to bed. The next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing around. One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the sheep and upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed. The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at the sheep. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the sheep are lying in the grass.
"No," she says, "they're all in the Landrover and one of them is beepin the horn."
Dont you love the weekend! lol 8)
Rob
Are you sure you RESEMBLE that remark... don't you mean you RESENT that remark???? That's what comes from attacking me from behind and stealing my wine!!!
Now... any of you boys who think they are good enough to try that trick, be warned, I bite back....

Alas, hoist upon mine own petard!
Although I must confess, the unwarranted assault upon the wine bottle was mearly a ruse in order to have the opportunity to exchange momentary bodily contact, a chance meeting of flesh upon flesh.
And if you wish to bite, scratch ,claw yell and scream your ecstasy, feel free. The walls in here are well padded, and I doubt we would disturb any of the neigbouring strings. So sing on my beauty, as I ride on you off into the fading fridge light.
:inlove: :inlove: :inlove:
But, get us a beer first would you love.
lhk
Kat
x
Jags
Are you sure you RESEMBLE that remark... don't you mean you RESENT that remark????

Think Kat was using irony, Jags. Irony is a little like steely, only not as refined :P
As for sports, I thought you were a game girl? wink
Kat
He is just sulking cos he his once pround manhood is now a bruised, sooty and very cabbage smelling shadow of it's former self.

I'll have you know my manhood is just fine and dandy, no thanks to you and your family members perverted suggestions! :twisted:
Please New Couple I beg you, don't be fooled (as I was) into believing Kat has your interests at heart. From personal, very painful, experience I can assure you he and his family are very sick puppies who need to get out more. :cry:
shuffles off muttering, as he gently reassures his manhood that never again will he have to endure any of that nasty Kat's ideas
shuffles off muttering, as he gently reassures his manhood that never again will he have to endure any of that nasty Kat's ideas

rotflmao :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Sorry - got visions of a Gollum like RVM wandering around with his precious in his hand muttering to it!!!
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Kat
He is just back from pub all by himself she is here waiting Pizza Hut take away and red wine waiting. God its a hard life.
But seriously Red Van Man did you watch the same game I did?
A second string Canadian team really gave the All Blacks a hard time in places. Okay Okay they won 68 - 6 but for the first 20 minutes they were awful. Lots of turn overs and handling errors even had trouble winning own line out ball. Any half decent team would have made them pay.
Tommorrows prediction Englan win by 20 points.
Kat
Sorry - got visions of a Gollum like RVM wandering around with his precious in his hand muttering to it!!!

BLOODY HELL KAT!! You must be psychic as well as sick!! :shock: :shock:
That was exactly as I pictured it, Gollum stroking his preciousssssss, whilst telling it how it'll be alright. rolleyes
shuffles off muttering, about how he can't wait for the 17th December, so he can see The Return Of The King
I'll go with that one! (England by 20 points)
What is the latest on the injuries?
New couple, sorry about the confusing e-mail! had a rush of blood, to some-thing-or-other.
Did it make sense in the end?
New Couple
But seriously Red Van Man did you watch the same game I did?

Confession time, I only saw part of the game redface surprisedops:
What I did see didn't strike fear into me, albeit they still have the ability to break at speed. Not so sure they'd look as lacklustre against a side they were fired up to play against?
As for the Springboks, if we play as we did last time out, a 20 point margin is very achievable. What has impressed me most, about this current England side, is it's depth and their ability to control a game from all quarters. Whilst Jonny Wilko's golden boots are always going to be important, we aren't totally reliant on a good kicker, as we have been in the past (That's not forgetting that Grayson is no mean replacement). We now have the ability to break from and with the pack, having won and retained ball.
<thrusts the door open, bangs and clatters about with hoover, dustpan and brush. Moves into kitchen area and opens microwave door - small, black furry creature takes the opportunity to run for freedom>
Mal? Beckers? RVM?
Did any of you lot leave a Kebab in here?
Yawn...sniffle....scratch...
Wot happened dudes.....?
Woke up and the phone machine not fulla messages....DOH...bet I never set it to record ( see earlier...MUCH ).
So much for NOT playing hard to get....
Walks OFF with STROPP on...Dragging knuckles along the floor and innanly muttering............
Heather
Mal? Beckers? RVM? Did any of you lot leave a Kebab in here?

redface Bloody hell, I left the hamster in the microwave, to dry surprisedops:
Oh and do you think you could make a little less noise, H? confused
Some of us are still recovering from last night and need to build our strength up for tonight wink
'ere, pass us a Stella while you're at the fridge, Rocky. I'd get one myself but, well basically, I'm too sodding idle :P
shuffles off muttering, about how the hamster's blackened coat looks quite fetching
So much for trying to see how much lager a hamster can soak up - now we'll never know confused
Still, not to worry - 'HEATHER - TURN THE RUGBY ON!!!' Honestly, you just can't get the staff these days- 'AND PASS THE BEERS ROUND FOR THE BOYS'
The things we have to suffer for our art!
Mal
wink
Ah breakfast, thanks H. kiss
Um, whose clothes are these I am wearing? confused :? :? :?
Need to brush my teeth, anyone got a tootbrush I can borrow??
Right, got to go to a 70th birthday party shortly, so I will see you all later.
lhk
Kat
oooh you can't beat a nice kebab ...specially with extra 'rocking horse' (chilli sauce)
mmmmm getting hungry now
Mind you I have worked up an appetite ;-)
Seems to have wandered into a madhouse inhabited by mad people doing mad things and saying mad sayings
Opens fridge VERY CAREFULLY to avoid mad men wanting to do naughty things to my rear end and takes out new bottle of wine
Sometimes I sits and thinks - and sometimes I just sits...
Tommorrows prediction Englan win by 20 points
Sorry to all those who placed a spread bet on England it was only a 19 point win.
Will try to do better next time.
Will buy anyone, who feels let down by my tip, a drink at Xtasia tonight.
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone.
He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die."
"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast.
Be pleasant, and make sure he is in a good mood.
For lunch make him a nutritious meal he can take to work.
And for dinner, prepare an especially nice meal for him.
Don't burden him with chores, as this could further his stress.
Don't discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse.
Try to relax your husband in the evening by wearing lingerie and giving him plenty of back rubs.
Encourage him to watch some type of team sporting event on television.
And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week and satisfy his every whim."
"If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health."
On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"
"You're going to die."

rotflmao :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Sometimes I sits and thinks - and sometimes I just sits...

and masturbates? wink
lhk
Kat
A woman goes over to her married son's house and walks in to find her daughter-in-law sitting in a chair, entirely nude. The mother-in-law said, “What the hell are you doing?” “I'm wearing my love dress,” responds the daughter-in-law, “We haven't made love in a while, so I wore  So the mother-in-law says, “Hm, maybe I should try  She goes home and her husband wasn't home yet, so she undressed. Two hours went by and finally she heard her husband's car. He walks in the front door and says, “What the fuck are you doing?” “I'm wearing my love dress,” says the wife.
“Well,” responds the husband, “it needs to be 
lhk
Kat
New Couple
Sorry to all those who placed a spread bet on England it was only a 19 point win.

At half time I'd have settled for a margin of a single point! Considered we were lucky not have been behind. There again, if we give away penalties and ball like we did, it's no wonder. Just glad my Koen ju-ju doll worked wink
Love to know what Woodward said at half time, lol.
Love to know what Woodward said at half time, lol.

Calm down. Cut out the silly mistakes. Your'e making South Africa look better than they are.
At least that's my guess.
By the way God plays in green with 13 on his back.
*sneaks in*
Quote by NewCouple
By the way God plays in green with 13 on his back.

He sure does!!!! lol :lol: :lol:
*sneaks in*

And if it was up to me of course, I would let you stay. But rules are rules so:
OUT!
lhk
Kat
*gets up off sofa, packs bags and walks out sulking*
*throws a dictionary to Kat on the way*
:giggle:
xx
sad :( :(
Most disappointed about the Wigan Warriors result - roll on the Ashes smile
Most disappointed about the Wigan Warriors result - roll on the Ashes

kiss Missed you! (but don't tell anyone), what you been up to?? something extremely naughty I hope!
:twisted:
*gets up off sofa, packs bags and walks out sulking*

Wot a woman!!!!!!! Where is the tongue hanging out emoticon!!
oh baby! Just love that pout and the way that booty moves!
:twisted:
lhk
Kat
Nothing naughty to report :cry: - just been busy - at a conference yesterday and RL in the evening - but back now to chill out - naughty is tomorrow wink
naughty is tomorrow

Same arrangements as usual?
I thought we were going to keep it a secret??
lhk
Kat
X
lol :lol: :lol:
SHHHHHHH, don't tell anyone wink
So, Blue is having a naughty tomorrow - sounds like a nice way to start the week - much better then watching Eastenders or Coronation Street
:P
PhilBlue