GFZ - That Ralgex Moment | Swinging Heaven

9 Nov 2003

Quote by Red Van Man
Now then Blue, Jags & Mandy, whilst we're in a rugby frame of mind, how's about a little loose mauling and some ball control from the lasses? You fancy a game, Girls v Boys? Me and the lads could shove the chairs to one side, then we could have some fun on the carpet. :twisted:
Unfortunately, we've not got enough kit to go round. So, I suggest you wear the shirts and we'll wear the shorts. I'm sure you would all look good in rugby shirts, just rugby shirts..........
Its no use, I'm going to have to go and have a lie down. The thought of you gals in rugby shirts has affected me sense of balance
shuffles off muttering, about how his shorts are getting tighter with all these thoughts of gals in shirts

Just as long as the rugby shirt I get to wear is blue - and the shorts YOU get to wear are hot! I'm not sure if you'd survive an onslaught from Blue, Mandy and me - if I were you I'd book at room at your local friendly Intensive Care Unit first! Make sure you've got rehydration and medication ready. Nothing like a bit of Gentian Violet around your dangly bits to set the world on fire :twisted: evil

:twisted:

Hates rugby, hates football, hates Larsson and hates golf

9 Nov 2003

Quote by Red Van Man
Now then Blue, Jags & Mandy, whilst we're in a rugby frame of mind, how's about a little loose mauling and some ball control from the lasses? You fancy a game, Girls v Boys? Me and the lads could shove the chairs to one side, then we could have some fun on the carpet. :twisted:
Unfortunately, we've not got enough kit to go round. So, I suggest you wear the shirts and we'll wear the shorts. I'm sure you would all look good in rugby shirts, just rugby shirts..........

Pleeeease, can I wear stockings with my rugby shirt - my legs look much better that way! wink

Mandy
Finally I 've put a webpage together to save me writing the same things, over and over....

9 Nov 2003

Excuse me please....!

It's a well known fact that some of us women can go for the "bit of rough", or the bad guy: some of us never grow out of it, but some of us learn to look for something else. And some of like it just occasionally to spice things up a bit

Here's me, being the polite gent but hanging loose in the GFZ, where we are ALLOWED to not look our best, not to shave every day, to look deshevelled and not be too concious of our 'rough' edges...and KAZAMM...!
If you have had 10 pints of strongbow, have a dodgy eye, dark glasses, bad focus in both eyes AND it is very, VERY dark....I could be quite good looking for a humpty warthogfaced pig!!!!!!!
here about the little girl walking in the woods? She see's a pixy sat on a toadstool his head between his knee's, with the most amazing hangover in the world. The little girl unknowing this says to the pixey...' Are you a goblin...?'. The pixey says...'No i got furkin headache'
Gone off now to kick the dog.......
Cheeky buggers......Ouch

9 Nov 2003

Jags

Just as long as the rugby shirt I get to wear is blue - and the shorts YOU get to wear are hot! I'm not sure if you'd survive an onslaught from Blue, Mandy and me

Jags, you can wear whatever colour shirt you like biggrin

Oh and as an Englishman, I'd like to say how sorry I am that Scotland got knocked out. However, you can keep your gentian violet to yourself, thank you very muchly!!! :shock: :shock:
Mandy

Pleeeease, can I wear stockings with my rugby shirt - my legs look much better that way!

For fans of the Fast Show.......... I'm sorry............ I've just cum redface

shuffles off muttering, wondering if he should volunteer to play No8 for the girlies, to even things up....... Oh dear..... I've just cum again surprised

ops:

9 Nov 2003

There's no way in this world that I would play Rugby Union mad

9 Nov 2003

Blue

There's no way in this world that I would play Rugby Union

Who said anything about actually playing rugby, league or union??? wink

It was just my attempt at getting to see you gals in rugby shirts and for me to molest some scantily clad sex bombs! redface

shuffles off muttering, about how the thought of gentian violet on his dangly bits still haunts him :cry: :cry:

9 Nov 2003

GOD.. you're a real wimp RVM - thought the tingling feeling on your dangly bits would perk you up!!
Hides blindfold and chains from RVM and goes off in despair looking for a more manly man kiss

9 Nov 2003

Jags

GOD.. you're a real wimp RVM - thought the tingling feeling on your dangly bits would perk you up!!

Its because I wish to remain a "manly man", that I'm not letting you near my dangly bits with any of your potions. Anyway, I don't need perking up, barring the odd tin of Red Bull. wink

Don't forget, I'm still recovering from Kat's Gran's remedies for removing ink, soot et al from my dangly bits. So any further suggestions from peeps, involving the application of substances to my genitalia, will be treated with extreme caution. :shock:
shuffles off, muttering about how some people have some very weird and wonderful ways of keeping themselves entertained

9 Nov 2003

Quote by Red Van Man
Don't forget, I'm still recovering from Kat's Gran's remedies for removing ink, soot et al from my dangly bits. So any further suggestions from peeps, involving the application of substances to my genitalia, will be treated with extreme caution. :shock:

If should change your mind and want to experiment, as I was discussing with someone the other night, then red wine is a very mild one to start with. You could then move up to toothpaste.... mmmmm, tingly! For more the advanced there's Ralgex and the like (once applied by accident (instead of KY) never forgotten! Personally, I'm rather partial to using raw root ginger! wink

Mandy

9 Nov 2003

Mandy

If should change your mind and want to experiment, as I was discussing with someone the other night, then red wine is a very mild one to start with. You could then move up to toothpaste.... mmmmm, tingly! For more the advanced there's Ralgex and the like (once applied by accident (instead of KY) never forgotten! Personally, I'm rather partial to using raw root ginger!

Thanks for that Mandy, I think confused

I agree that red wine is a very mild one. A sparkling wine adds another sensation, as the bubbles burst smile

Toothpaste, used in small quantities and not one of the strong flavoured varieties, can be interesting. wink

I've never tried raw ginger but, am willing to experiment with someone I could trust (That rules you out straight away, Jags :twisted: )
I heard of a couple who had problems, after they'd just eaten a strong chili con carne. Apparently, after engaging in a 69, both suffered from genital burning. She was in a worse state than him, so I heard.

9 Nov 2003

RVM - you don't trust me??? :cry: :cry:
Just on the 'sensation' front I thought I should share the merits of Listerine Actives (oral care strips) - I haven't tried them myself but a friend has recommended them. If anyone HAS tried them then please share a review!
Goes off to cry about RVM's cruelty

9 Nov 2003

Quote by Red Van Man
Thanks for that Mandy, I think

You're more than welcome! smile

Toothpaste, used in small quantities and not one of the strong flavoured varieties, can be interesting.

I forgot to add the Wrigley's Extra Thin Ice Peppermint Strips - handy to keep in your handbag or pocket!

I've never tried raw ginger but, am willing to experiment with someone I could trust

For greater info than I'd post here take a look at this page:

Of course, rather than trying alone, it's a lot more fun with two, but then that goes without saying! ;)
Mandy

9 Nov 2003

GOOD GRIEF Mandy... that article was extremely interesting!!! Powerful stuff but interesting!!
Once again I'll be happy to read the reviews..... :shock: rolleyes

9 Nov 2003

Jags, I had a lot of fun after reading that article earlier this year. smile

My favourite was the ginger butt plug.. it takes a while for the sensation to build up, and build it does (I was assured, by my guinea pig).. thin slivers in other places also definitely provoked a "I wanna f**k" sensation.. which given his restraints at the time was great fun to watch! :twisted:
Mandy

9 Nov 2003

*Kat pokes his head round the door*
mad

:x :x What the F***??? HOW MANY Girlies in the Girlie Free Zone??" :x :x :x
That's a section 'D' offence, punishable by spending the day with freshly cut nettles stuffed down your boxer shorts!
Wait till I find out who is to blame for this!
*sneaks out quietly before anyone sees he has been in, locks the door quietly, and leaves the key in the lock so that it cannot be unlocked from the inside*
Tee hee
lhk
Kat
P.S. How was your weekend Mr and Mrs Blue Eyes? wink

:wink: Did it meet your expectations??

9 Nov 2003

What a weekend, it certainly did live up to expectations, Kat!! :twisted: wink

Whoah! I missed all the females dressed in rugby strips- lets just hope there is a re-run! lol

9 Nov 2003

8)
We have decided we enjoyed it so much we are going to do it again, what about you?
lhk
Kat
*quietly unlocks the door, cos the place would not be the same without the girlies, but we should never let them know!* wink

9 Nov 2003

MMmmmm - me thinks there is a conspiracy going on.. KitKat back at the same time as Mr and Mrs Blue Eyes, AND sublte hints to boot... think you four were having joint and mutal fun????!!!
Hoping to hang around long enough to hear the tale and see the pictures - you DID take pictures I trust!!
Goes off in blue rugby shirt to search in bottom of fridge for a hand of ginger to pareNot sure about applying it to my clit though

9 Nov 2003

you DID take pictures I trust

I did - But not many, I will mail the best of them to you Jags. But only cos I love you. :inlove: Not till tomorrow though, I am knackered tonight and my thighs and calves are throbbing.
lhk
Kat

9 Nov 2003

and my thighs and calves are throbbing.

And he's not really THAT knackered, cos that's not all that's throbbing :twisted:
Kit
xxx
ps - Hi Mr BlueEyes, glad you had a good weekend :wink

9 Nov 2003

I was idly reading through this thread, and then came upon the word RALGEX - do people really use ralgex as a lube? :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
Welcome back, KitKat and the Blueeyeses. Hmmmm, yes, very mysterious. I trust the four of you had a good weekend (together? wink

)

:lol: :lol:

9 Nov 2003

Quote by bluexxx
I was idly reading through this thread, and then came upon the word RALGEX - do people really use ralgex as a lube? :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

As a lube: only when digging around for KY in bedside drawer in the dark!
For sensation play.. definitely!
Mmmmm

9 Nov 2003

*has hardly got the energy to post*
wave

Hope you all had a good weekend!!
*crawls off to bed*
xx
PS Hi Kit and Kat! biggrin

9 Nov 2003

At last... the truth is out!!! Well done you lot. wink

Kit - I HOPE he's sore and throbbing.., did you get the basque onto Kat yet???
Ginger, maybe. Ralgex, NEVER!!!
lol

:lol: :lol:
Who's going to be locking up tonight - are all the layabouts out??? Ashtrays emptied?? RVM woken up and dusted down???
x

9 Nov 2003

Mmmm......Seems like I missed something.
Hope you're all OK smile

)

9 Nov 2003

Think they're all worn out BG... too much rugby is bad for your energy levels!! biggrin

:D
x

9 Nov 2003

OK.. I'm beat! GFZ is officially locked - rest of Mods have buggered off and left me to be janitor tonight and I've got early doors.
*opens windows, fluffs cushions, runs the vacuum over RVM and prods him on the way round*
Must be news tomorrow. wink

9 Nov 2003

Ah......Rugby. That explaines it then rolleyes

Grown men ect.........

9 Nov 2003

OOOhh... you just slipped in there whilst I was turning off the lights... you sure you're out now?????? Don't want to lock you in for the night, in the dark...................mmmmm, on second thoughts..... wink

:wink:
x

9 Nov 2003

Sorry Jags,
Had to let BG out, he has a very important appointment tomorrow at about 1 o'clock in the afternoon, and will be in big trouble if he is not there!
Kit
XXX
There you go BG, go and give your nice red helmet a polish!