girlfiend, swinging partner, or both - advice please

7 Feb 2007

Hiya
i was wandering if anyone else has been stuck between a rock and a hard place like I feel at the moment.
I have met with singles and coupls and really enjoyed it, whenever I gat a regular girlfriend, i stop. because i dont cheat.
the thing is, is that whaich is the best way around, I dont want to ask someone I like if the have consider swinging, but i would really love to see someone who does/would.
the question is, which way round do you peeps play it, gf first then ask or a swinging friend and ask them out properly. You dont see any of these types of ads?
any comments would be greatfully received.
ta

7 Feb 2007

free quite frankly the only way to go is be honest from the start!
I've said this many times before
Whenever I meet sum one I like outside the swinging lifestyle I tell them from the off!
There's no point in living a lie!
I have kept many female friends who just appreciate the honesty!
If you want to give up swinging then by all means I can see a reason for not disclosing your 'previous' lifestyle.
But to go out with someone & then tell them your a swinger, I feel doesn't really show respect for them.
Just be honest mate

7 Feb 2007

thank you for your input, i admire you for your balls! i just wouldnt want to mess anything up with a great girl.
i wouldnt say it was living a lie as i stop whenever i start to see someone.
maybe i just havent been meeting the right girls.

7 Feb 2007

Quote by free2view2u
thank you for your input, i admire you for your balls! i just wouldnt want to mess anything up with a great girl.
i wouldnt say it was living a lie as i stop whenever i start to see someone.
maybe i just havent been meeting the right girls.

I quite admire his balls as well redface

On a more serious note tho he's right, as a woman I would hate to be in a new relationship with man hiding something like that. You do right to stop swinging on the onset of a new vanilla relationship.

7 Feb 2007

i met someone on the scene so it was best of both worlds
there have been a couple of adverts in lmu for swinging partners, try some of the socials or munchs where you actually meet people face to face, you might find someone you click with.
Earthy xx

7 Feb 2007

We were together first then I (*Her*) brought up the subject of swinging so not all girlies are against it :giggle:
*Her*

7 Feb 2007

i suppose that i could put it in my ad, but then again i wouldnt want to put someone off the other way either.
whatever happened to win-win situations
just as well as i am believer in fate
i think i will go to a munch then, i was going to go to the last one but was seeing someone over xmas sad

hindsight eh?

7 Feb 2007

Quote by couplefunuk
We were together first then I (*Her*) brought up the subject of swinging so not all girlies are against it :giggle:
*Her*

Nope... we're definitely not! lol

From the girlie point of view I think I'd ask myself exactly the same question to be honest...
Would I want to be with a bloke I couldn't be 100% honest with? No!
Would I want to hide my past? No!
Just recently a vanilla friend of mine put a thread up on her vanilla forum about swinging and asked what people thought. There were mixed views (a lot of negatives and one or two positives) but they all made me laugh! There's clearly a stigma (probably not the right word) attached to the word "swinging" and it appeared to come across as somewhat seedy as far as the regulars on that particular site were concerned.
My friend asked whether the blokes would consider a girl who swings (or has in the past) as potential girlfriend material. The answer was a resounding no although apparently the novelty value would be good cause they are bound to be dirty! rolleyes

But to potentially have a relationship with, i.e. introduce her to your mother, etc. it was a definite no!
It made me giggle more than anything else though it it did make me wonder whether people tell new partners about their sexual history. I mean is it relevant? Is sleeping with a load of people in vanilla world any better or worse than sleeping with people in the swinging world?
I'm not looking for a relationship, I'm happy doing what I'm doing and making friends along the way. I don't actually think I'd want to be with someone who didn't have the same mindset or who wasn't on the same wavelength as me. :smile:
So after my essay and in answer to your question, I guess you'll know when you meet someone you click with then you won't have the worry cause you'll either fall head over heels and it won't matter or you'll be of the same swinging mindset! smile

7 Feb 2007

I suppose you have to ask yourself what you really want out of life if you want a girlfriend and swing then i'd say ask your girlfriend if shes though about it if it puts her off then maybe shes not for you anyway!! as far as meeting a woman on the scene already i know a few people that has worked for but i also know couples who have met felt more for each other then ones wanted to stop swinging cause they feel they no longer need to, so that doesn't always work, as with anything you have to kiss a lot of frogs b4 you find your prince ;)

8 Feb 2007

thanks for all your thoughts
it gives me lots to think about